Chapter 4

“Umm I will tell you when I get to your house.” I think that is the best thing to do. Talking to her about this while driving on a highway is not the best place for this conversation.

“Okay well I can’t wait for you to get here so you can tell me what was so funny this morning.”

“Okay. I am on my way so let me get off this phone, so I do not get a ticket.”

“Renee’ thanks for doing this for me and I will see you soon. Bye.”

“You are very welcome, Jay. Bye.”

Well, that conversation went pretty well. I just hope the rest of the conversation goes just as well otherwise I could end up hurting myself for no reason. “Getting hurt is a part of life and everyone has to go through it at some point. Why are you so afraid? She has been interested in you since you first started at the company and has never made it a secret. Just go for it.” I let that information play over and over in my head as I make the drive to her house in silence.

Once I finally turn down her street and approach her drive-way, I realize that there is no turning back now. I will talk to her about different things to get a feel for where her mind is and see if she is still interested in me. I blew the horn after turning in her yard, and waited a few minutes for her to come out. When she did not come outside after a few minutes, I got out of the car and knocked on her door. She came to the door after a minute and said that she didn’t hear the horn or she would have come right out. I told her there was really no rush since it was only four-thirty and she didn’t have to be there until five. She practically lived around the corner from the restaurant so it wouldn’t take me long to get her there on time. We got into the car and rode in silence for a few minutes and every now and then I would catch her fidgeting with her hands or staring at me and the only reason I know is because I was looking at her too. “She is sexy to look at isn’t she?” Okay where the hell did that thought just come from? That is not what my mind should be on just yet. I am supposed to be figuring out whether or not she is still interested and not looking at her with lust. Suddenly the muscles in my stomach started to tighten and the urge to just touch her was overwhelming. Time to start talking before something happens that I can’t control. The bad part is that I do not think I want to control what could happen. “Look at you getting all lusty. Ha! I never thought I would see this day. First you were flirting and now you are lusting.” Again I told my inner self to shut the hell up. I needed to think and could not do it with her yammering on about lust and flirting. I decided to just talk about anything. I started asking her about her life and who was in it at the time.

“Well I was messing with this girl but I found out she was only trying to use me to pay her bills, and there was a girl before her but I found out that she was married.” Wait a minute. Where the hell have I been this whole time to where I don’t know any of this? ”Umm maybe you didn’t know because your ass ran to a whole other city to get away from her. She was your best friend and the two of you talked about everything. Now you can blame it on trying to move up and get better pay if you want, but we both know that the reason you ran away to another city to work was to get away from temptation a.k.a. Jay.” Hearing the truth finally being said, even in my head, finally hit home and made me think even more about my situation. I could have avoided all of this had I not been a coward. What she just told me also made me feel very angry. How could anybody try to use someone like that? This did not sit well on my stomach. My blood was boiling. “Calm down Renee’.”

“Jay that is just crazy.”

“What about you?”

“What do you mean?”

“Is there someone in your life? Are you single? What is going on with you?”

“I am single. There is no one in my life at the time. I thought there would have been but it turns out that it would not work out for us, plus he is better as a friend anyway.”

“Oh. Okay. Well maybe you will find someone soon.” Her face after she said that looked a little sad. Please tell me that this is a sign that she is still interested.

We pulled up into the parking lot before I could say anything else to her and we both got out and went inside. It was still too early for her to clock on so we sat down and talked for a while. I decided to go ahead and finish the earlier conversation.

“Jay, there is somebody that I would like to talk to and have come to realize that I have feelings for but I do not know how to approach this person.”

“Well why don’t you just tell the person how you feel?”

“I am afraid that they may not still be interested since I kept saying that I wasn’t interested this whole time.”

“Well the only way you will know is if you ask.” She smiles as she says this to me. Why is she suddenly smiling?

I could have been imagining things but I think from her tone of voice that she either knows I am talking about her or she is trying to figure out if I am talking about her. She seems almost amused by this conversation.

“Jay I think it is time for you to clock on.”

“Oh shit. That doesn’t make any sense. I am at my job and still clocking on late.” We both burst out laughing and that eases some of the tension that I have been feeling from our conversation. Once again I shock myself with the words that came out of my mouth next.

“Jay I can pick you up from work today if you don’t mind. There is something that I would like to talk to you about anyway.” The look on her face showed that I was not the only one shocked by what I had said and it kind of made me happy that I was not the only one shocked.

“Yeah that would be nice. What do you want to talk to me about?”

“I do not want to say now plus you need to get to work. I need to get all of my thoughts together and get some rest before coming to get you later, so we can talk then.”

“Okay Renee’. I don’t like surprises though.” She laughs.

“Neither do I but I have managed to surprise my own self with this one.” I laugh too.

“Bye Renee’. Be careful and get some rest.”

“Bye Jay. I will on both fronts.”

I walk out of the restaurant and get into my car feeling even more confused than before and I try to make sense of our conversation. “Are you really that simple? The woman obviously is still very interested in you. All you have to do now is put the ball in her court. Tell her everything when you come to pick her up later.” I can’t disagree with myself. When you’re right, you’re right.