Chapter 3

Chapter 3: Little Flower

If I were to say that my life changed a full 360 degrees after the night Hyacinth was born, I wouldn’t be exaggerating. From the moment I wake up until I go to sleep, she’s always with me. I couldn’t bear to be away from her even for a few minutes. I could stare at her face all day and never get tired.

I gently caressed Hyacinth’s cheek as she slept soundly in her cradle. She had just finished drinking blood for the fourth time today. She’s always thirsty, which, according to Madam Melendez, is normal for a newborn vampire.

It still feels surreal that I’m looking at my own daughter.

For the nth time, tears welled up in my eyes just by looking at her. God knows how much joy this little angel has brought into my life since the moment she was born—but it also comes with a huge responsibility. I will protect her from everything. I would lay down my life if needed. Anything… in any way.

Still… I am troubled.

When Hyacinth was born, she inherited not just life—but everything that came with it. Her mother was a slave, and she herself was born in violation of the rules.

How will she ever understand this?

“I-I’m sorry, Aya...” I whispered to my sleeping angel.

Even now, I’m already asking forgiveness for the pain she will face in this world. I know there’s nothing I can do when this world decides to strike, but I’ll make sure I’m always there for her.

I quickly wiped away my tears when I heard the door open. My eyes remained on Aya until Abel approached me and also glanced at her in the cradle.

“She’s growing fast,” he noted.

“If only she could stay this little forever,” I chuckled.

“Even now, she already looks a lot like her father, Astra. I fear she might inherit everything from him and nothing from you.” Abel gave a soft laugh.

I managed a bitter smile. No matter how we tried to hide the scent of Aya’s blood or the fact that she was the child of Brixton Wenz Cardinal, her face alone screamed the name of the beast.

“She’s so beautiful...” I mumbled with a gentle smile.

“Really. Can you believe it’s already been weeks?” Abel said, astonished at how fast time was passing. “In no time, she’ll be crawling around like Tegan.”

I sighed and sat back on the bed while Abel remained standing beside Aya’s cradle. I knew he had come for something else.

“Have you decided yet?” he asked, still watching the baby.

I let out a deep breath. “Can she just be Hyacinth for now, please?”

Abel looked at me. “We’ve already talked about this, Astra. Aya can’t stay locked up in this clan forever. Sooner or later… she needs to go out and have an identity.”

After I gave birth to Hyacinth, Abel immediately talked to me about how we could safely bring my daughter out of this room. The plan was to say that my husband had died in battle, so it was just me and my child left. The rule only states that the population must remain balanced. When I lost my husband, my child could take his place. We could find a way to save us both—but I would have to register my daughter under her father’s surname... Brix. And we couldn't do that. So we had to make up a different surname for her.

“I know. But…” I swallowed the lump in my throat. “You know I’m hiding her from everyone… especially her father. Out of respect for Brix, Hyacinth will remain just Hyacinth until she can claim the Cardinal name. That’s what I want.”

“That would raise suspicions, Astra. Come on. All she needs is a surname and she’ll recognize you as her mother. We just need to say her father died.”

“I have an idea!” I said, still trying to defend my decision. “W-What if... we say she was abandoned by a vampire outside the clan out of fear of responsibility? That’s why she doesn’t have an identity. We’ll just name her Hyacinth.”

“Are you serious?”

Tears welled up in my eyes again. “I’d rather choose that painful option than give her a false identity. Please, Abel? Can’t we just do it that way?”

He stared at me for a few seconds, as if reading how sure I was about this decision. I knew I was already committing another sin against Aya, but it was the only way to keep her from being bound to me.

Abel shook his head. “No. Hyacinth will remain your daughter. She will recognize you as her mother. Damn it, Astra. Don’t hurt yourself like this!”

I wiped away the tears on my cheeks. “She won’t be safe if she knows I’m her mother, Abel!”

“She will be—but what about you? How will you bear it, not being recognized as her mother?”

His voice softened as he slowly stepped closer. “Please just give her another surname so you can still be her mother. We can protect you both. What we can’t do is let anyone find out she’s Brixton’s child. We need to secure her identity right away.”

I fell silent. If she can’t be a Cardinal, she can’t be my daughter either. That’s the only way to protect her. Damn. Her life is already so complicated even though she’s just a baby.

“Or...” Abel said, making me look at him. “You know the last possible solution.”

I swallowed. “Lock her inside this clan…”

Abel nodded. “She’ll be safe as long as she’s within the clan. But outside, her lack of identity will make her a target. She could be labeled an insurgent. Do you really want to lock your daughter in here, Astra?”

“For how long?”

“If you agree, the rule takes effect immediately. That means... Hyacinth will be forbidden to leave this place for seven years. No one can break this rule. Only time can.”

Aya cried, and I quickly went to her and picked her up. She must’ve felt my hesitation because she instantly stopped crying. Her eyes looked straight into mine.

She giggled, trying to reach for my face. In her, I saw the playful side of Brix. My daughter constantly reminded me how much I missed her father.

I kissed her cheek as I came to my final decision.

I know it’s selfish to take her freedom away but... “Hyacinth will be locked inside the Esparago Clan until she’s ready to claim her rightful identity.”

“Are you sure?”

“Hyacinth Martin Cardinal is going to be locked inside this clan,” I said again, turning to Abel. My lips trembled. “She has everything she needs here anyway. I’m okay with that for now…”

Abel stared at me for a few more seconds before nodding. “Hyacinth is still a Paragonian. We’ll protect her for as long as she’s here. But what about Brixton?”

I gently rocked my baby in my arms.

“We can hide her from the outside… but what about from Brixton? What if he comes here—”

“That’s why I need to leave as soon as possible,” I cut him off. “Brix won’t come here if I’m gone. The farther I am from my daughter... the safer she’ll be.”

Abel bit his lip, clearly troubled by my choices. “Damn. I’m sorry you have to do this—”

“I’m fine.” A lump formed in my throat. “I’m doing this for my daughter. I’ll still visit her often. But for now… I really need to be away from her. That’s... what I’ll do.”

Abel bowed his head, sighed, and nodded before standing up.

“If that’s really your decision... I’ll inform Papa,” he said, giving a small smile. “But hey, Hyacinth is safe here. Always remember that.”

I nodded and turned to face the balcony. The fog had lifted since I gave birth. Everything had gone back to the way it was.

“I’ll be leaving in a day,” I said, glancing down at my daughter. “I just need more time with Aya.”

“That soon?”

“I have to.”

“Okay. Fine. You know what’s best. Sigh. I’ll go ahead, then,” he said before finally leaving.

I exhaled and started playing with my daughter again. She was quietly staring at my face. My chest tightened again. I kissed the tip of her little nose.

I touched the bracelet on her right wrist. “Mama loves you so much, baby Aya. I hope you’ll understand why I’m doing this. And I hope one day... you’ll forgive me.”

My decision to leave the Esparago Clan to keep my daughter safe was final. I savored every moment with her. If I could, I’d take her and run—but I knew she’d be in even more danger.

Abel was right. The Esparago Clan is the safest place for my little princess.

“Here?” Tegan pointed to my stomach. He visited me often now and already knew about Aya. “Baby Aya came from here, Lady Astra?”

I nodded. “That’s right, Tegan. But wait. Why are you here? Don’t you have lessons?”

“I escaped,” he casually said as he approached the cradle again. “Lady Aida keeps repeating the same lessons. I asked her to teach me how to ride a horse but she didn’t.”

“Maybe ask your Dad to teach you?” I suggested.

I continued folding my baby’s newly washed clothes, which Madam Melendez had brought earlier. She didn’t visit as often anymore, saying she was busy. But there was nothing to worry about.

“Why does she have a bracelet?”

“It’s my gift to her,” I answered.

“Why?”

“Because I love her…”

“Then why didn’t I get one from Mom?”

I stopped and looked at Tegan. He was seriously staring at Hyacinth, holding her hand. I could hear the sorrow in his voice.

“That’s just a bracelet, Tegan. The greatest gift I can give my daughter is love. I’m sure your mom loved you very much. She probably wished she could spend more time with you…”

Even for a short time, I could tell Tegan had matured—his body, his thoughts, his speech. The changes in this world happen so fast, I sometimes struggle to keep up. What if Hyacinth reaches that age too? She’ll start asking questions.

“They killed her, right?” I couldn’t answer that. “I wasn’t supposed to be born. As punishment, my mom took the blame. Maybe she really loved me...”

“Y-yeah... for sure.”

I kept folding clothes. I wondered how Abel answered questions like these. Tegan’s thoughts were deep, and even though we weren’t related, I struggled to answer them.

“Love…” Tegan looked at me. “It’s because of love, right?”

Again, I couldn’t respond.

“Love ruins everything,” he added, shaking his head. “That’s why... I’ll never fall in love.”

“Tegan, there are different kinds of love—”

“Never…” he cut me off. He looked again at Hyacinth. “I hate love. I think love is a toxic feeling we shouldn’t let in. We kill it before it kills us.”

Once more, his words left me speechless. Where was the strawberry-loving Tegan? It felt like I was talking to someone else entirely.

“You’ll never know, Tegan.”

“Aya might wake up soon. I’ll go, Lady Astra,” he finally said as he stepped away from Hyacinth’s cradle. “I’ll be back later, okay? I want to carry Aya.”

“Sure.”

He sighed. “Do you think Dad likes you?”

“What?”

“Never mind.” He smiled.

I heard him clearly. What was that question about?

He didn’t leave yet. After a few seconds, he spoke again.

“I’ll protect Aya from the boys, Lady Astra.”

I smiled. “Thank you…”

“That’s why I’ll train harder to become stronger and protect her. And I’ll learn to grow strawberries so I can give her some.”

“Aww. Can I get a hug?”

He ran into my arms, and I hugged him tightly. It must’ve been hard for him to even think about these things. I knew what it was like to grow up without a mom.

That’s why I’ll do my best to be there for Hyacinth as she grows.

“I know your mom is proud of you, Tegan,” I whispered.

After Tegan left, Aya woke up. I stopped what I was doing and picked her up. She kept crying, so I gave her her blood drink—but she only tasted it and rejected it.

“What’s wrong, baby?” I asked her.

I laid her on the bed to check her diaper—it was clean. What was wrong? My gaze landed on her right hand, clenched tight. Her left hand, which didn’t have the bracelet, was open.

Wait. Could it be the bracelet?

“Are you hurt, baby?” I asked again.

An hour passed, and she still wouldn’t stop crying. I tried everything. I was tempted to remove the bracelet, but I knew that might only make things worse.

The door opened and Abel came in. “I heard her crying. Is there a problem?”

"I don’t know. She just suddenly cried." I couldn’t hide the worry in my voice. "Look at her right fist, it’s clenched. I don’t understand, but... do you think it has something to do with the bracelet?"

Abel came over and held my daughter’s right hand. "Her hand is hot. Wait here—I’ll call Madam Melendez," he said before rushing out.

I sat on the bed, tired and aching. I couldn’t do anything but watch Aya as she cried. I wish I could do something to ease her pain. Damn. It hurts seeing her like this.

Suddenly, I felt a chill, and before I could even process it, fog had already crept into the room. It rose up to the bed. I shivered.

What’s happening?

I gently set Aya down on the bed and rushed to close the window, but before I could reach it, she suddenly stopped crying. When I turned back, I saw her surrounded by the fog—as if it was protecting her.

I froze when I heard my daughter giggle.

The door opened again, revealing Abel and Madam Melendez. We all stood there, speechless, watching Hyacinth as she seemed to play with the fog. Her giggles echoed softly in the mist.

"W-what’s happening, Madam Melendez?" I asked.

"Is she playing with the fog?" Abel added.

"Amazing..." Madam Melendez whispered. "Her ability to communicate with fog is seeping through the bracelet. The fog surrounding your daughter is what soothes her heart."

"Do we need to remove the bracelet?" Abel asked.

"That’s not possible. She still can’t control the full power of it. For now, this is all she can manage..." Madam Melendez said meaningfully. "In just a few minutes, the fog will disappear."

Just like she said, the fog gradually dissipated. Aya had stopped crying, and when I went closer, I realized she had fallen back asleep.

Tears welled in my eyes again. I hugged her tightly.

"I’m... scared," I whispered before looking at Madam Melendez. "What if something worse happens next time? What if this is only the beginning?"

"That’s why the bracelet must never be removed from her wrist," Madam Melendez said seriously. "But like all things in this world... it has a limit. The day will come when the bracelet will break, and we have to make sure she’s ready before that time arrives."

For the second time, I could only hold Aya tightly in my arms.

I couldn’t sleep for days after that incident. Night after night, I stayed awake, watching over my daughter. I didn’t open the window again. I was too afraid the fog might return.

I know her ability is to control the fog, just like her father, but as much as possible, I want her to stay away from that. If I could remove that power from her, I would’ve done it already.

One month passed...

After taking a bath and returning to my room, I didn’t find my daughter in her crib. Panic quickly consumed me. I looked around for her and found her at the side of the bed, holding a bottle of blood.

Aya stopped drinking for a moment when she saw me, but soon continued. She looked up at me while drinking. She sucked from the bottle so fast, blood trickled down her mouth.

I knelt in front of her and wiped her lips. "Were you thirsty? Sorry I took so long in the bath, huh?" I laughed.

She just stared at me without blinking.

I lifted her up and sat her on the bed. She still didn’t stop drinking the blood. As she drank, I combed her hair.

Then Abel’s news echoed in my mind—he had just told me earlier that a clan was attacked, and all its members mysteriously vanished.

It’s starting...

I heard Aya yawn. When I turned, she was lying down with the bottle resting on her chest. She blinked slowly, and not long after, she was asleep.

I took the bottle and placed it on the nightstand. I changed Aya’s clothes and gently laid her in the crib, kissing her cheek before letting go.

"I'm going to miss you so much, my baby..." I stared at her for a few seconds before sighing deeply.

After drying my hair, I began packing. I couldn’t stay here any longer. The war is making itself known. I don’t want Hyacinth to be caught in it.

When I finished packing, I made sure Aya was asleep before stepping out of the room. I walked out and saw Abel about to enter.

"Is everything ready?" I asked.

He nodded. "We’ve prepared the horse you’ll be using. Are you really sure you’re leaving?"

"It’s starting, Abel. If I don’t act now, my daughter might be dragged into this. I’m good now." I forced a smile through the tightness in my chest.

He took a deep breath and nodded. "So it’s really tomorrow?"

I nodded bitterly. "Before sunrise, I’ll be gone."

"If that’s really your decision, we can’t stop you."

"Please... take care of Aya, okay?"

"What do you think?" He chuckled. "Of course. Don’t worry, Astra. So please... be safe, too. Your daughter needs you. Please... come back for her."

"I will... for sure."

I have a reason to stay alive. I will live.

That night, I kept Aya awake as long as I could. It would be a long time before we saw each other again. I wasn’t satisfied staying inside the room, so I took her outside. It was her first time outside.

I climbed up a tree where the full moon was clearly visible.

"Look at the moon, baby..." I smiled, pointing to it. But when I looked at her, she wasn’t looking at the moon—she was staring at me. "Oh. That’s sweet. Do you prefer to look at me?"

A tear escaped my eye.

"Oh, I’m going to miss you so much, my little Cardinal..." My lips trembled. "Please, be a good girl, alright? If possible, don’t talk to the fog. Mom just needs to go somewhere..."

My mouth hung open from the tightness in my chest.

"I will always come back for you..."

I wiped the tear that had fallen onto her cheek.

I took a deep breath and looked back up at the moon. It was lowering to the west. It wouldn’t be long before the sun rose... and I had to go.

I looked at my daughter one more time.

My vision blurred, but even through the tears, I saw her smile at me.

"I will meet your father again, Aya. I wish I could tell him about you... how gorgeous you are. I wish you could meet him soon. But for now... you will live away from us."

I wiped the tears from my eyes.

I took a breath and embraced Hyacinth again.

"No storm could stop me from being with you again. I will always bring the rainbow for you, my little flower. You have my word and my life... goodbye for now, Hyacinth."

---

I came to the Esparago Clan with a ruined heart and no choice but to stay, and I left with a heart full of love and a strong will to come back alive—whatever it takes.

I pulled the reins to stop the horse and stared at the huge gates of the mansion from afar. This place is a nightmare to me, yet here I am... back again.

"It’s been a long time, Nightfalls..." I smirked.