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Sixteen

She had woken up earlier than the time she was supposed to. Aisha knew it was phobia that was dealing with her, she was afraid of meeting anseconf version of Jaafar in Al-qalam University. Nasir left yesterday, even though she didn’t cry in front of him, she came back to her room and cried her eyes out. Ans now she wished he was together with her. She got ready and sat down on the vanity stool, looking at how cute the Hijab looked on her. She smiled to herself but there was a glint of tears from her eyes which she fought with utmost bravado.

Aishe knew if she was ablw to control herself tofay and she was able to fight off the coming back of old memories, she would be able to handle heself in every situation she found herself. She heard a soft knock on her door, she cleared her eyes onec more and opened the door for Ya Firdausi. She entered and sat on the edge of the bed, while Aisha looked at her, waiting to hear what seh was there was. She knew it was time to leave, but she dreaded the moment as much as she dreaded her own death.

“Khalid will take you to the school and make sure he did all that’s needed for you. You can come back home on a tricylce without much trouble, right?” Firdausi said, as she scribbled the address on a notepad for Aisha to take along, in case she forgot what she told her.

Aisha nodded her head with a smile as she collected the notpad from her hand. She had asked her this morning wether she wanted a phone, and her answer was still a no. Se couldn’t get to use a phone now, until she was sure of herself. She was sure that even if she did, she wouldn’t contact her Mommy. “I will, Ya Firdausi. You shouldn’t beat yourself at it, please. Do you take Sudais to work?” She asked, looking at the small boy that was looking at her from the hands of his mother.

Firdausi stood up and answered her with a smile. They spoke with Mama on the phone today, and Aisha felt relieved. What bothered her was Nasir, she hadn’t heard from him ever since he left. “Yes, I go with him. There’s a kindergarten across the street I work, that’s where I keep him. Nasir called yesterday, itwas late, I told him you were asleep.”

“Oh, he arrived late because he didn’t leave early.” That was it, and because of this, she wished she had a phone. Because of Nasir.

She had prayers on her lips ever since she they drove out of the compound with Khalid. They bid Firdausi goodbye who drove past them to her place of work. Khalid was really helpful, because Aisha couldn’t imagine doing all these herself alone. He finished all tht was needed to do and Aisha was handed her timetable and student ID card. She thanked and was showed to her department, where they were already having lectures.

She entered and sat down silently, and all those memories began flooding back to her brain before she felt a hand on her shouldr. Frightened, Aisha looked at the person and instantly her face broke into a grin. “Fatima!” she squealed as silent as she could supress her happy voice.

“I kept looking around for you, I’m glad you came.” They nattered for all the minutes left for the lectures to end, and Aisha had never felt as lightheaded as she felt unless she wa with Nasir. Fatima was the kind of person you can never be bored having a company with. She was glad she met he today.

She wasn’t back home until 4pm, and she had never felt this tired all her life. Thank you to Katsina sun for roasting her under her Hijab.Aisha met Firdausi watching television in the living room and she walked to her. “Good evening, Ya Firdausi.” She greeted.

Firdausi smiled at her before she greeted back. “Good evening, Aisha. I hope you had a grreet dsy at school. You look tired. Bathe and come out and eat.”

Aisha smiled weakly at her and nodded, she was about to enter her room when Firdausi yelled to her, “Aisha, Nasir had called me more than ten times today. You should really get a phone, or I’m seriously putting his number in my blocked list.” Aisha laughed and entered the room.

Nasir had been on her mind since she woke up today. She had tempted to read one of his 17 letters today but stopped herself, she made a promise. And she knew what she was feeling was merely because he left yesterday, she canwiat some days more. She had already prayed at school befpre she came, and that made it a whole lot easier. She bathed herself before she went out and met Firdausi seated where she left her. Aisha proceeded to the dining area and served herself. She was half way eating her food when Firdausi called her and she turned around.

“Aisha, I hope you ate at school? Mama had been warning me that I should make sure you eat properly.”

“Yes, I ate, Ya Firdausi.” She laughed and there was silence until she finished her meal and stood up to walk to her room after she took the plate to the kitchen.

Firdausi called he again, she walked back and sat on the sofa close to the one she was sitting. She handed her her phone and stood up, “It’s my phone, call Nasir please before he makes my battery run down this evening.”

Aisha laughed and dailed his numbe while Firdausi walked to her room, she knew Sudais had woke up by now. It was as if he was waiting for her to call, he picked almost as immediately as she called. There wasn’t that ‘voom voom’ ringing sound. Aisha chuckled and joyfully called his name, “Dr!”

She heard as he heaved a sigh out of relief, “Aisha. I really thought may be Nana sold you out, I’ve been calling her and she wasn’t even picking my call.”

He sounded worried, and Aisha couldn’t help but laughed. “Dr, how can she sell me out? Who would even buy me? She said you kept disturbing her with calls until she couldn’t pick anymore.” Amusement was laced on her voice as she said that.

He laughed and shook his head at how impatient he had became because of Aisha and what Nana said about him. “By Allah, I miss you, Aisha.” He had finally found peace now that he heard her voice, it was almost shocking as seeing a dead body for the first time.

“I miss you more, Dr. Can I please read one of those lettters of yours? It’d killing me here.” She wanted to cry, but at the same time she didn’t want to break the promise she made to him about her crying because she missed him.

“I’m here now, wait until you miss me real bad.” He laughed, and she groaned. That was how the conversation continued.

Today, when they were ending the call, Aisha wished she could see his face as he uttered, “Goodbye, Aisha. Take care of yourself please, and study hard.”

She knew he felt the same when she said “Insha Allah, I will. Good bye, Dr.”

It had been a month and days already, and there was never a day she didn’t have a phonecall with Nasir. It got to the point that Firdausi bought a new Nokia phone with a new sim and claimed it was hers, but she lent it to Aisha, because she knew Aisha will never accept a phone. She had tried persuading her everytime but her efforts proved futile. Last week, Nasir told her he was travelling to Lagos for a seminar and he might not be able to call her throughout his stay here. There would be too much work and his colleagues will be around, he couldn’t dodge anything to hide away and call her. Eventhough she understood, this wasn’t what she wanted. She understood, but she felt bad.

Her birthday would be in three days to come, and she wondered if he would be there for her to see him. Himself alone was enough for her as a birthday gift. She sat down on her bed and her trolley was placed beside her on the bed. Just like he made her promised, she was missing him real bad that it hurt. His letters, she pulled them out one by one, but her eyes were sticked on the one he wrote ‘Read this when you’re missing me so much.’

She smiled sadly and put the other 16 letters back into her trolley. She placed the trolley back into its position before she sat back, having a dim light that glowed on her face. She smiled as she pulled out the letter from its envelope and stared at it. Slowly, she unfolded it and stood the handwriting she loved the most.

WAIT, SMILE FIRST.

Aisha, I know you promised that you won’t read any of my letters despite how inviting they are, that’s loyal of you. Even though the title said it all, you really shouldn’t miss me to the point of crying, Aisha. I’ll never forgive myself if that happens. You aren’t allowed to waste those precious tears because of me, get it?

You’re allowed to miss me, but not too much, else, I’ll find myself driving to Katsina to see you. Because, when the queen calls, it has to be answered. Just imagine me sitting beside you, no that won’t work. Imagine us having a long walk on a beautiful beach, with the sun casting its beauty on us, and the ocean washing away our feet. How does that sound? Amazing right? But you can’t relate to it, because we’ve never done that. Just imagine us chatting at night, with the moon blessing us with its glow. While you sit on your vanity stool, I’ll be leaning onto the wall of your window, having the blessing of seeing a face as radiant and beautiful as you. This works right? Now, give me that Billion Dollar smile, even though I couldn’t see it, I assure you I’ll feel it whereever you are. Distance doesn’t really matter to me, especially when you’re the one in question.

Things written in letters stays in letters, right? So, here it is, I just want you to know that no matter how much you’d miss me, I’ll miss you tenfold of that. Just imagine a country that has no women but only a single one, and she sadly belongs to the king. To, you’re so much like that. Like a single drop of water when in a sahara and thristy to death. I want you to know that you aren’t the only one in the situation, I’m mising you too.

Now, before you sleep, I want you smile and write something for me. I’ll get them all when you’re back. What a feeling! You shouldn’t bother yourself if you don’t feel like writing, you can call me and say it all out. Now, smile as beautifully as you can. You have me, your very own Doctor.

Goodnight, Aisha. You’re adored, cherished and you’re beautiful.

Dr. Nasir.

If it was possible, she would have her lips widened to her nape. All that sadness she had been feeling was brushed off, and she wanted nothing more than to see herself seated together with Nasir and they would converse until time gets to an end, the oceans get thirsty and the moon lost its beautiful. She sobered up from her sentimental moment and pulled her trolley down, she felt like she can’t keep her promise. Nasir’s words were like a therapy to her heart. She wasntednothing more than to get wet, drenched, and to drown herself in an ocean filled with his love.

She was about to open the zipper when a certain pocket hidden in the trolley caught her attention. She knew there was nothing in there, but she was truly amazed at how it was hidden. She opened it and there, she saw a stack of papers. Carefully placed one by one, as if they were being kept according to the date they were written.

She pulled them out, not minding about the number of them. She unfolded the first one smilimg, because all her thought, she thought they were a surprise for her left by Nasir. She opened the first one that had ‘22nd April, 2015.’ This wasn’t a date she knew, because if she could remember, she had met Nasir officially on the day she got her life ruined, which was on ‘16th October, 2018.’ Her eyes darted back to the envelope he had them kept, and there was an inscription in bold, ‘MY LIFE IN KATSINA; MADINA AMINU MUSAWA.’ Who’s this Madina? That was the first thought that crossed her mind. Apart from the curiousity that was eating at her, what she noticed was, Nasir was good with time. He had the best connection with his memories.

What happened on 24th April? She found herself unfolding the paper before she could even stop herself from doing so. She knew what she was invading in privacy, and if he had known, he wouldn’t keep these letter in the trolley. She knew if he wanted to tell her, he would have. Because Nasir did exactly what he wanted, he never forgot about anything. That she was sure of. And she began reading, unveiling the story of Madina Aminu Musawa.

22nd April, 2015.

Goverenment girls secondary school, Katsina

9:45am

Today, I have this life I thought was a smooth journey messed up. I started serving in Katsina today, and it’s the first girl I’m going to take. SS2 girls weren’t easy to deal with, as a colleague said. But I believe it won’t be hard for me. I’m going to teach them Biology, not something hard for them to give me a hard time. I called Mama while I was a few steps from entering the classroom, as we spoke on the phone; I took a glimpse of what change my life, in the classroom I was about to enter and teach.

She was wearing the uniform like every other child was, but I noticed hers was a little torn out than the rest. She was laughing at something a friend said, and that’s when I noticed the irresistible colour of her eyes. They weren’t amber nor were they honey like. When you stare at honey and the colour sets itself into your eyes, amalgamating with the original colour of your eyes; that’s what her eyes looked like. Just then, she turned to the window I was staring, and freaked out the moment she noticed me.

“You all, the next teacher is here. I noticed here’s a copper, we should behave ourselves,” She hushed to the friend that was sitting beside her, they were four in a bench.

“Madina Aminu Musawa! Don’t let him know we saw him, just make a face.” One of her seat mates uttered, and that’s when I heard the name. The girl that changed my life. The girl that turned me into something I’ve never imagined to be. And for the first time in my life, I hid something from Mama; I hid Madina from Mama.

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