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Seventeen

He didn’t indulged much in the information, Aisha had noticed. She wanted to know, to feel it all, what happened? What did he hide from Mama? What did Madina turned him into. Sleep had already deserted her, she had a bad feeling about this, she knew nothing good out of this would come out, but Aisha was certain. She wanted to read, After all, it was Nasir that wrote it. What he didn’t mentioned was that, he hid Madina from his life, from his world, not just Mama. He told her every single detail of his stay in Katsina, there were moments he told her about, more than twice. He delibrately pulled Madina out of their conversations, he didn’t want her to know, but she did.

She took the second letter, her eyes were wide opened, but the scarry thing was that, she felt pounding in her chest. This wasn’t good, she was going to get her heart broken. She knew he had never confessed his love for her, but she could see it written all over his face. She had no right to ask him… “Aisha, don’t judge. Read about it all, first.” She spoke to herself and palmed her face out of frustration. She took the second letter.

25th April, 2015

Government Girls Secondary School, Katsina

9:45am.

The first time I saw Madina was on a friday, and I spent my weekend with her all over my soul. I’ve never thought I would meet a girl that will capture my heart at first glance, but Madina. She was extraordinary. She was different from all the ladies I’ve ever seen in my whole life. She was beautiful, as beautiful beauty can ever be defined. I walked into their classroom, SS2 A had suddenly became my favorite. As I’ve seen her last week, she was on their seat, with her eyes glued to the window. Silently, I prayed she was looking out for me.

“Good morning, class.” I greeted and there were murmurings coming from the girls. Through my peripheral view, I watched as Madina knelt down slowly and she was up, back into her seat with her notebook. She looked calm and composed, yet; there was something about those eyes I couldn’t seem to comprehend.

The class started and through out the class, she was intently looking at the board. She had her eyes and attention on me, but I wished she was llooking at me with what I wanted her to. I gave them a quick classwork and before I was out, “Who’s your class representative?” I asked, and they kept looking at me, confused.

“I mean, who’s your class monitor?” And they all started pointing at Madina, calling out her name.

Madina stood up and ducked her head down, “I am, sir. My name is Madina Aminu Musawa.” I know… I wanted to say, but I had to put a straight face.

“Collect all their books and bring them to the staffroom, now.” She nodded her head and sat back. I packed my belongings and walked out of the classroom, relieved that I’m finally going to have some words with her, eventhough not personal words; I can still hear her voice.

It wasn’t even up to five minutes when I saw her walking into the staffroom, I wanted to stand up and ask her to sit on my sit. She placed the books on my table and was about to turn around when I called her name. “Madina, right?” She looked up from my desk and unto my first, our eyes locked and I wished nothing but to hold her eyes in mind for as long as I can.

Madaina looked away and cringed, she had the most beautiful eyes I’ve ever seen in my life. “Can you please write me the names of your class mates?” I asked, I already have them, but I wished nothing but to make her stay extra long in my office.

“Yes, Sir.” She answered and tried walking away when I called her back. “Can you write the name here? I need the names to use them now.”

The desk next to me was empty, and I motioned for her to sit. She sat down, looking as uncomfortable as she can. I gave her a pen and a Paper, and Madina started writing the names while all the effort I tried not to look at her proved futilr. Because I found myself, turned on my chair while I fixed her eyes on her. With shaking hands, Madina wrote out the names alphabetocally and gave it to me. I had no reason to make her stay, so I let her walked away.

As I read the names she wrote, I’ve never fell in love with something as I fell in love with her handwriting. It was calm, composed and beautiful as she was. Today, I left home with a smile on my lips, knowing I’ve had a chance to sit together with Madina, even though there were no words shared between us; it was okay by me. Nana had to ask me what I was happy for, I could only smile, because I wanted to have Madina for myself and keep her for myself.

It happened like that for a week, and everyday I gave them a classwork, she was the one to submit the books and take them away when I was done marking. It happened in a swift and I didn’t know when I fell in love. It was a heart gripping kind of love, the worst kind of an unrequited love, because she didn’t know I loved her. Not until today…

Today happened to be a Friday, it was already May. Like everyday, I had her brought to me, their books and she came to collect them before it was closing time. I took my time in the office marking a test I conducted for them, and when I pulled out of the school, students had dispersed. I’ve never for once met her when the student’s were going home, and just like every other day, I didn’t lose hope as well.

15th May, 2015

Somewhere in Katsina state

1:35pm

I drove silently to Rafin Dadi, the area where Nana’s house resided. There were too much traffic, it was friday after all. Everyone was trying to get back hom early and some trying to make it to the mosque on time. I happened to be one of the guys speeding up to the mosque, I hadn’t even gone back home. There was a mosque alongside the area Nana lived, I want to make it on time to perform the congregation.

As I waited on the road, I looked around and caught a glimpse ofher hijab as she passed, walking in her chameleon gait. She looked tired, yet she was still composed like never before. I swerved the steering wheel and got to the way she was walking on, and I slowed down when I got close to her. She didn’t looked at me eventhough I had honked at her, she kept walking. “Madina!” I caled her, due to the other driver’s pressuiring me with their honks.

Upon hearing her name, she turned and looked at me, her eyes widened in surprise. She wasn’t able to mask her surprise. I motioned for her to enter and she shook her head and tried walking away when I honked at her again, when she turned; I had my hands brought up into begging manner. She looked around sideways and entered the car.

As soon as she closed the door, I heaved a sigh out of relief and smiled at her. “Thank you for accepting my request.” She was uncomfortable, I could see it from the way her hands were fiddling with eachother.

“Where do you live, so I can drop you off?” I asked, as the silence in my car was killing me.

She turned to look at me, and for the second time in my life; I felt butterflies rising up in my stomach. She turned away as quickly as she looked at me. “I’m sorry, sir. But please find a place around here and drop me off.” She was looking around through her window in horror, as if she was afraid tht someone might see us.

“Why? Trust me, I don’t do human trafficking.” He laughed and she smiled at him. god, please let this smile be on her face for eternity.

“If my uncles see me with you, I’ll be punished. Please drop me off.” She turned to look at him, and her eyes got misty.

“I’m sorry if my request made you cry, I’ll drop you off. You shouldn’t cry please.” I begged, and she sensed the desperation in my voice because she cleared her tears and looked at me, appreciatively.

I found a decent place to park and she tried to get out of the car as soon as I halted. I locked the door and she turned to look at me, her eyes widening with fear. I smiled to ease off the tension I saw on her face, “I promise, I’m not a bad person. Can I have a word with you?”

She nodded her head, still fiddling her hands on her laps. She nodded her head and I began in a voice I never knew I had. “Madina, I’m an honest person, I won’t keep this from you. This is the first time I’ve ever seen a girl that makes my heart flutter. I admit it’s related to the fact that I don’t pay much attention to girl; I was always together with either Mama, or Nana; my sister. Madina, is it too early if I say I like you or rather, love you?”

If looks could kill, I believe the looks on Madina’s face could kill me this instant. I’m a straightforward person, I always tell Mama whatever I was thinking. I’m brutal, honest and sharo about my thoughts. But right this instant, from the look she was flashing at me, I know I made the best biggest mistake of my life. I learned I was too fast in telling what I was thinking, what was in my heart, and what I wnated so bad.

She shook her head and her eyes got misty, “I’m sorry, sir. Please can you unlock the door for me? I need to be home before it’s too late.”

“Don’t call me sir, I’m Nasir Muhammad Tijjani. I’m from Bauchi, and I just said I like you, won’t you say something?” I was being desperate, I know. But there was nothing I wanted expect for Madina to look at me with even a smile on her face.

“I know it, but I need to go. My uncles will kill me!” She freaked, trying to unlock the door despite knowing it was unlocked.

I felt a sudden rush of paim surgimg through my heart, I felt that I wanted to protect her. Whoever these Uncles of her’s were, they are definitely not the good kinds of uncles. “Will you tell me why you’re trekking from kwado to Rafin Dadi? Madina, answer me and you’ll be unlocked from my car.”

Madina looked at me and tears succesfully rolled down her cheeks. I wanted to clear off her tears but I knew not to make another mistake like the one I did from the start. “My mother is died, she died due to cancer two years ago. My father started doing a business in Lagos and he got into a car accident ten months ago. I live with my uncles now, a polygamous family. I trek back home because the one Uncles that care about me got transfered to E last month, and I have no one to bring me back. One of my cousin’s take me to school and I trek back home. Here, you hav it? Let me go.”

She had made a mess of her tears by the time she was done telling me all that happened. And I wanted nothing but to console her into her hands. Reluctantly, I unlocked the door for her and she walked out of the car before Nasir got a hold of himself. He knew it, she got him hooked to her the moment she told him the little story she wanted to me to know, and I found myself hiding something that bothered me but I couldn’t tell Mama. Because I wanted to hid Madina from the harshness of this world. He wanted to protect her an dhide her away in the folds of my heart. She deserved to be happy and safe. I made a new priority today, to protect Madina at all cost.

18th May, 2015

Driving to school

7:34am

Throughout the weekend, I didn’t had peace of mind. I wanted nothing but to find Madina and hide her away from the world. This morning, I was drivng to WTC, as the school was well known. I wasn’t far from Rafin Dadi, not out of its viccinity when I caught a glimpse of her; Madina standing confused by the road, her eyes minutes away from spilling the grief out of her eyes. I slowed down and parked beside her, she turned to look at me and quickly waved me away with her hand. I followed her gaze and watched how she was looking at an elderly man, I realized him to be one of her Uncles.

I drove past her in a slow pace and watched through my rear mirror as she walked slowly towards me. The moment she was out of her Uncle’s eyesight, she rushed into my car and waved at me in a rush. “Drive away, he’ll see me if we’re not fast.”

I did as she asked me to and we didn’t speak to eachother until we were only a few miles away from the school. I guessed that’s when it all dawned on her; who she was together with, and who gave her a ride. Frightened, she turned to look at me, “Good morning, sir.” She greeted, fiddling with her hands. That’s when I noticed a beautiful ring on her middle finger.

I brushed away her greeting and fixed my eyes on her ring, “You have a nice ring, Madina.”

For the second time, she smiled when she looked at me. turning the ring in her hand as she admired it from her hand. “Thank you, it was my Mom that gave it to me, three days before she died.”

“I didn’t get the chance to extend my condolence, Madina. I’m sorry for your loss,they’re in a better place Insha Allah.” She was trying so hard to pretend that I didn’t told her what I was feeling about her, and I complied to her unvoiced plea.

I parked in the parking lot and turned to look at her, she had her hand gripped onto her school bag. “You’re beautiful, Madina. And your eyes are out of this world. I’d love to be your ride for the rest of my stay in Katsina. Am I accepted?”

She took her time before she nodded her head slowly, “Yes, thank you, sir.” And she was out of my car before I even realized what it meant for me then. I didn’tn know her answer was a page turner in my life.

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