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Chapter III

My anxiety was growing with every passing day and it was crazy how fast it went by. Before I even knew it, there was barely a week left to the wedding. I didn’t care much about anything that was related to it as mine and Salvatore’s mothers took care of everything. As much as I wanted to deny it – somewhere deep my heart hurt that I wasn’t able to be excited for my own wedding. Every girl had dreams of this day, knew what flowers she would put on every table and what ribbon would be wrapped around flowers in her husband’s boutonniere. And I did too but there was no way I would get involved.

Beside, my vision was something different then theirs. Even excluding the partner choice, I wanted something small, intimate, on fresh air perhaps. And as far I knew there was going to be at least 150 guests.

“Christine, come downstairs. Eleanor came and I brought dress from the attic so we could do some fitting.” My mother said standing in the doorway to my bedroom where I was currently reading book. I wanted to forget about this wedding, not fitting the dress for it.

“And pin your hair up.” Catherine added before leaving.

I wanted to go full rebel mode and just disobey but I couldn’t do that to Eleanor. She was way too nice for me this past weeks. Instead of that I pulled my hair into the bun on top of my head and went downstairs, putting on the polite smile.

“Hello Christine.” Mrs Lombardy stood from her spot on the couch, greeting me with open arms. Before I even knew it she was hugging me. “How is your arm sweetie? Your mother said it’s all healed up?” She said with the big smile, leading me to sit next to her.

“Yes, it is. Luckily I don’t need sling anymore.”

“That’s good. Now, aren’t you excited? Fitting of wedding dress! You must think I’m crazy but Bianca is already married and Salvatore’s wedding is all I have left.”

I didn’t want to sound rude so I just smiled. Salvatore wasn’t my ideal fiancé but I could try and enjoy the experience at least a bit. Hopefully – this would be only this one time. It was common that widowed women wold take a new husband and for me one Salvatore was enough for lifetime.

“I left the dress in the room. Go change.” My mother rushed me and I did as she said.

I remembered this very dress from wedding photos of my parents. And I always found it beautiful. It was rather simple with many layers of thin, light fabric reaching floor; translucent, slightly puffy sleeves that ended with tighter cuffs; it’s turtle neck and lace that was shaped into triangle on the bust to create illusion of v-neck. It was in gentle ivory colour and even though it was quiet too big for me, I loved it.

Looking into the floor length mirror that my mother brought to living room my heart ached once again for the fact that everything was decided for me. I wanted to be happy that moment, laugh with Catherin and Eleanor at they were pinning dress in all the necessary places. Or at least smile. That would be more than enough.

“I will go get more pins.” My mother announced and moment later she disappeared.

“You look beautiful, sweetheart.” Elanor stated with an warm smile, looking at me through the mirror.

“I know you are upset now and there is many questions running through your mind but I can assure you, Salvatore will be a good husband. You may think otherwise but I know I raised in my son in respect for a women.”

“Truth be told I don’t know anymore what to think. I just don’t understand. I left Family and he still wants to marry me.”

“Salvatore is a mysterious man and I don’t understand more then half things he does. But perhaps he just know better than we do. Regardless, I wish you both happiness. Nothing more because you both deserve it.”

“Thank you.” I said quietly with a small smile and it was the first one I meant in a long while.


Cold water in the bathtub made my body tremble a bit but I enjoyed it. It was soothing and cooling for my nerves. While on outside there was nothing but blank expression – my inside shook. Mother ordered me to take a hot bath while she and my two cousins were getting their makeup done in the other room, but warm water made things only worse. It was suffocating and coolness was what I needed.

I couldn’t sleep that night, tossing from side to side, no tears to cry any longer. I couldn’t think either. There was nothing in me but plenty of unidentified emotions that seemed to create high level of anxiety. I wanted nothing more but dig myself some hole and crawl into it to escape everyone. But instead of that I had to get ready for the wedding nonetheless.

“Knock, knock!” I’ve heard Bianca’s happy voice in the other room. I didn’t wanted to face her just yet, I needed a little while more for myself so I could get hold of my feelings and put on happy face. Yes, I didn’t want to be in this situation but for past weeks Salvatore’s family was nothing but nice to me. I haven’t seen him since engagement party but Bianca would call me ever so often and meet me for coffee. Same was with his mother. And as much as I disliked him – I liked both his sister and mother and I couldn’t break their heart acting like a prat.

There was more talking and laughing behind the doors and just second later the doors to the bathroom opened. If my mind wasn’t this blank I might’ve scream and make attempt to cover myself better then I was currently with knees brought to my chest and hands wrapped around them tightly.

“Christine, you look as if you’ve seen a ghost.” Bianca shook her head. As always she looked stunning. She was wearing a pastel pink dress that was sleeveless and simple, reaching to her knee. Her hair was as usual straight and her soft makeup was only giving her justice.

“Get out of the water this instant, you will catch a cold.” She stated taking a bathrobe and unfolding it before herself, looking sideways. “Come on, I’m not looking.”

I felt blush appearing on my cheeks when I stood up with hesitation and wrapped my body in a fluffy robe. We’ve been at Lombardy’s since they were kind enough to throw a wedding here. I’ve arrived early in the morning and ever since it was all madness that consisted of getting ready, greeting cousins both mine and Salvatore’s that came to congratulate. It was up to a point where it got a bit too intense to me and mother ordered me to just take a bath and calm down.

“You’re so pale and look at those shadows underneath your eyes. You haven’t slept did you?” Bianca shook her head wrapping her arm around me. “Come, we need to get you all ready. “ She said leading me into the room.

Somehow I felt better this moment. Maybe it was because of her comforting presence or some magic – I didn’t know, I was just glad that I wasn’t a shaking mess anymore.

“I almost forgot!” She exclaimed pushing me slightly to take a place in the big armchair before she almost jumped towards the table filled with various makeup products next to which my mother was getting her makeup done. Bianca took a large brown box from the counter and walked towards me. Everyone in the room were looking at me with impatience so I figured it was perhaps some gift.

“I’m just a messenger here. It’s a gift from Salvatore.” She announced taking a thin, black box out of the bag. She placed it on my lap and I run my fingers through smooth surface before taking lid off.

It was the beautiful piece of jewellery – breath-taking. It was a neckless made out of small pearls. There were three small rows that were meant to sit tightly around neck and then another three in various lenghts, longest one that would be reaching at least to my belly button. The shortest from this row held an oval shape that was studded with diamonds that surrounded emerald. I would never imagine Salvatore would gift me with something as outstanding. And expensive.

What I noticed a moment later was a piece of paper with neat handwriting. I lifted if before Bianca took box to show off the pearls to the rest.

Fear can turn to love – you’ll learn to see

To find the man behind the monster

  • S

I was speechless and I couldn’t help myself but run again and again through the black letters with my eyes. Salvatore quoted the text from the song out of Phantom of The Opera. I remembered he has seen the book in my room but would never imagine he has known it himself – either book or musical. Especially not this closely to quote this and this specific lines. It left me only more puzzled but somehow I felt different. Does that meant something? Something that related to us and that crazy marriage that we were about to step into?

For the next few hours as I was getting ready this thoughts were running through my mind. I wasn’t focused on my fear anymore, all I could think about was the note and what exactly it meant.


It wasn’t this common for anyone to have a ball hall in their house but Lombardy were rather extraordinary since they had two. The first one wouldn’t quite go as a ball hall since it was just huge living area but the one right behind two wing doors definitely was. I had to admit that Eleanor and my mother did amazing job with decorating. It was just two days after Christmas and even though there were plenty of festive decorations, they somehow managed to make it feel more wedding like then just it.

As door opened and I saw more people then I could count that moment, standing off their sits that were all decorated with white fabric and red ribbons, I felt stunned. My grip tightened around father’s arm as I moved my eyes to the end of the white carpet where rounded aisle from some green leaves, baby breaths and fairy lights was set. What was more interesting at the moment, instead of the beauty of décor, was a man standing there.

Salvatore wore black tuxedo and white dressing shirt, tie white this time. His hair were pulled back as usual, hands folded together in the front. His blue eyes were fixed on me and right away I felt my cheeks flushing. It was somehow uncomfortable to have him staring at me this way. I didn’t even thought about guests anymore. There was just him.

I let out a relived sighed once we got to the aisle without me tripping and falling miserably. I gave my bouquet of red roses and this non-pricking pine twigs to Bianca that was my maid of honour. She gave me an encouraging smile and just next moment my hand was in Salvatore’s cold one, his slender fingers wrapped my around my skin.

Repeating the vow after priest and hearing Salvatore do the same was…something. My heart was fluttering all the time and I felt cold but none of this feelings had anything to do with happiness. It was all nervousness and unsureness about what’s next. And it didn’t get any better by the time priest pronounced us man and wife.

Wife. I was someone’s wife now – and had a husband.

I fought the urge to flinch when it was time for kiss. Salvatore stepped closer, our eyes meeting. This moment I coursed him for being such a great actor. There was nothing I could read from his expression nor eyes. Or perhaps he wasn’t just an actor – maybe he really was soulless and cold bastard.

Just a second later his warm lips were on mine. It was a soft, gentle kiss that made my heart skip a beat and cheeks flush. I wasn’t sure if it was because of Salvatore or just that it was my second kiss ever that made me feel so weird.

Before I had a chance to think more, applause sounded and my – now – husband moved away just to link his long, elegant fingers with mine.

We exited the room to smaller one that was empty excluding decorations and table with wedding gifts and another one filled with glasses of champagne. The latest I could gladly use right now.

It was a torture to receive all this congratulations while keeping on the fake smile and pretending that I didn’t feel Salvatore’s hand on the small of my back. It was too big, too warm and too distracting.

On the one hand I wanted this all to be finally over but on the other – I knew that once this was over I would have to spend a night with Salvatore, and then forget the past life and move in with him.

“I’m so happy for you.” Bianca announced with the brightest smile before she hugged me tight. Meanwhile Salvatore was talking with her husband. “I know you may think bad about all of us but I am sure you will be good for each other.” She said quietly with concern in her eyes for the first time since I know her and I just nodded.

“Thank you, Bianca. For everything.” I squeezed her hand before she switched places with her husband.

Line went through and by the time it was over I shook hands and exchanged words with more and less excited members of our families but also Lombardy’s associates. I was more then happy. My legs were killing me even in 2,5 inch shoes since I wasn’t really used to any kind of heels and to that I’ve started to feel more silly then before. Never before I’ve been in the middle of attention and standing there next to Salvatore, wearing all white, with my hair pulled into the low bun with veil pinned into it and crown of red flowers and leafy-thing made by Eleanor laid on my head, it just felt so…not right.

We sat at the head of the table and almost right away there was chatter. It didn’t necessarily felt comfortable to have Salvatore on my side but luckily he was easy to ignore as he was talking with Alessandro. It was nice to finally have a moment for myself – not entirely but at least for once all eyes weren’t on me.

I took a sip of my wine, taking look around, tapping my white gold wedding band against the glass. Alessandro was dressed just like Salvatore, his curly blonde hair in mess as usual. They were cousins, not even in the first line and yet they were as close as they could get. Alessandro was somehow everything – from right hand to bodyguard - and was always somewhere around.

Dinner was passing on chatter and laughter as I just sat there, picking on the salad that was before me, more interested in the wine that kept appearing in my glass thanks to the waiter. I didn’t want this evening to end. It was all good as it was – loads of people having fun, not paying attention to me and Salvatore not even looking at me.

But my peace had to be destroy as Riccardo himself came to ask me for dance and I couldn’t just decline. There was gladly some people at the dance floor already so I would hopefully just mix in. Luckily it didn’t take long of this slow swinging and chatter before my very own brother came to rescue.

I lost count of how many men I danced with – mine and Salvatore’s cousins and uncles were switching one by one and eventually it all blurred into one face. I was also more then happy that I’ve already drank a bit before coming to the dance floor, it definitely gave me some bravery. Which really helped once I got to face my father. I was trying to keep my mouth shut and just have it done with but of course, he wouldn’t be himself if he did the same.

“I hope there won’t be any complaints from Salvatore, since you owe him a big time, don’t you think? If he didn’t came to me and for your hand again and to let you stay I would never have under my roof again.”

I’ve decided against saying anything to that. Somehow it made me feel better about what was going to happen later that night – being away from my father for once and for all. Maybe Salvatore wasn’t the dream companion because I barely knew him and this danger he had to him. Idea of living with him frightened me but it was it or being on mercy of my father. I could only hope that Salvatore wouldn’t turn out this bad as I imagined him to be. That he wouldn’t be some merciless monster – as he stated himself.

“Mind if I stole my wife?” Salvatore’s voice came from my back and we stopped in the spot. I could feel and almost see my father tense as he simply nodded and just moved away. It was almost funny how easily Salvatore made him intimidated. And because of that I let out a small laugh.

“What’s so funny?” Salvatore asked as I turned around to him and let him put his hand on my waist and slip the other in my own as I put second one on his shoulder. We started slowly swinging to the soothing rhythm of the music.

“How much father is scared of you. He run.” I giggled. Or perhaps I had a bit too much to drink.

“And you are drunk.” Salvatore stated with almost disapproval and by some magic all my senses were back. I got too much aware of how close he was and that he had his hands on me. All of the sudden I felt self-conscious and out of place.

“I’m not. I just had a bit of wine.” I bit on my lip looking away from him. It was bliss when I seemed to forgot about his presence and now it all was ruined. Once again all my insecurities and anxiety were fighting to take the top. It was so…scary, the things he made me feel. For one it was confusion ever since his gift and note but still, there was only danger radiating from him and it had me at unease.

There was a long silence between us that wasn’t pleasant at all and I couldn’t understand why I was the one to break it.

“Thank you for the pearls. They are beautiful.”

“It’s nothing. Bianca has chosen it.” He shrugged me off quickly what made me somehow disappointed. He didn’t care about me a little bit so why would he even write a note? Perhaps it was all Bianca.

“Anyway, they must’ve cost fortune that came from you and are beautiful so thank you.”

Salvatore gave me a short nod and by the look on his face I knew conversation was over. Eventually we parted and I came back to being handed from hands to hands, dancing even with Bianca. Finally, when my legs were ready to give up I headed back to the table. Even though my stomach was in knots I was craving to eat something – it was probably good two days since I forced some food into my system because of all tension and anxiety.

I sat back in my spot and put on some baked veggies on my plate that I started munching on, sipping on orange juice. I had enough wine for one night – that for sure.

“May I?” A familiar voice called from above me and once I lifted my eyes they met Astrid’s green ones. I was surprised that she was still here. I had a bit hope that she would leave after congratulations part. But then I also hoped she would never show up.

“If you have to.” I muttered and she sat down on Salvatore’s chair. Her black dress was tight in the bodice and nice and floaty on the bottom, a bit too short for my taste.

“I just wanted to have a little chat, we didn’t necessarily started on best terms. Perhaps my fault but who would remember? Anyway…I know Salvatore since forever, we were always together when we were children. He is my family so I want the best for him.”

“And why exactly are telling me this?”

“You see, I want to make sure that you won’t be acting out like a little prat that I think you are. Your father is crude that was incapable to keep a track on you but Salvatore isn’t and he doesn’t deserve you. So if I ever hear you gave him hard time just because you are feeling like you have all the rights to do so – don’t. Because I will deal with you myself even if he does that first.”

Her words coated with sugary voice made my gag on my juice. Did she just threaten to do something to me if I ever disrespect Salvatore? And pointed out that he would do the same? My heart started beating faster and my stomach tightened even more. So that was it for calmness and hopes for a nice husband.

Astrid stood up but a moment later she was back in her chair, taking my hand into her own. She leaned in closer to me what made frown. What else that viper wanted from me?

“And if you ever have some question, about you know what, just give me a call. I know how he likes it.” She said quietly with that stupid smile and just like that she walked away.

My whole body tensed and all of the sudden I regretted that I’ve even touched food since it wanted to escape now.

What Astrid said couldn’t be this awful as I thought. The images in my head were just too crazy and I was going too far with this wildness. She meant something different. She stated they were close so perhaps they just were close enough to share secrets like this. That’s what I hoped for despite vivid image of two of them that was painting in my head. It couldn’t be – they were cousins.

“You alright?” Salvatore’s voice made me jump in my sit and I looked up at him with eyes wide opened. He was looking at me with a question, his dark eyebrows pulled together. I quickly nodded in response, hoping that my face wouldn’t give up too much. All I wanted was to forget about this conversation.

“I think it’s time for us to go. I figured it’s the last thing you want is them all yelling about me bedding you so we could just sneak out.” He explained making my mind pull away slightly from Astrid. What overtook it was a fear of what was going to happen now.

There was no escaping. It was our wedding night and I doubt there was a thing that could make Salvatore skip it. It was a tradition – just as it was tradition to show off ‘blooded sheets’. It sounded horrible and actually was. Only the idea made me sick. What kind of joy it brought to all of this ill people to see evidence that marriage was indeed consumed and woman was virgin – no longer. This all thoughts mixed with still so fresh images of Astrid and Salvatore in my head, made me want to puke. For a moment I thought that I might actually do so and Salvatore must’ve see it as he passed me a glass of water, emotions that I couldn’t quite read painted on his face. Was it displease or concern?

Following Salvatore upstairs, to second floor where it was getting quitter, seemed like a road through hell. My fear was overflowing but I tried to keep my cool.

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