Chapter 1
3 months ago
"What are you going to do, Nyla?" Molly said as she stared at me.
I laid in the middle of my walk-in closet, which was now bare. Full of empty slots. All of his things were gone and mine followed suit once Molly came. Sullivan and I had been dating for three years, and lived together for two. While I was preparing for marriage, he was out fucking his secretary. Our sex life had been mediocre at best.
I wanted more and he wanted less. Mostly because Madison "the blonde bombshell" Brooks, was so eager to please him.
"Nyla!" Molly called out.
"I don't know." I said as tears began to well in my eyes.
I refused to cry at that moment, I tried to think of it as the answer to my prayers. I'd been asking for a sign to know if we were right for each other. I guess I never thought it would come this way, pictures of his secretary with a mouth full of his dick. Molly, my best friend who paced the floor for my next move, took the money shots.
Molly is a private investigator, and a damn good one at that. Her father was in the business and left it to her when he passed away five years back. Before we took the elevator down from the penthouse, I took one last glance sadly at the empty space I used to call home.
"You know you can stay with me as long as you need." Molly said while taking my hand in hers.
"Thanks, babe."
I'd never really had close friends until Molly, but she was more like a sister to me. Always there when I needed her, and it seemed like that was a lot lately. With Sullivan and his constant "meetings", which I now know were meetings with his secretary's mouth or her pussy. I needed her now more than ever.
"It's not much but its home." Molly said while putting her keys into the clear dish by her door.
It had been awhile since I've been on this side of town, and in her apartment, I didn't want to seem ungrateful. So, I forced myself to smile and said, "Moll, I don't care about size. I'm just happy to be away from him." Women always say size doesn't matter but the truth is, it does.
"Nyla, would you hate me if I ran to see Shane?" Molly said with her hands together as if she was praying in church.
"No, Moll. I'm going to shower and get some sleep." I said to her, only because I wanted to be alone. She strutted out and I walked around the tiny New York apartment, which, if you blinked you'd miss it. The traffic was loud, her window faced a brick wall full of graffiti. I let out a sigh and made my way to the small bathroom.
Molly was single and she let it be known, one towel, and one toothbrush. Mostly because she spent nights with Shane, her lover or working her cases. I began to undress myself, I started with my 5 inch red bottom heels. Once I stepped out of them, I felt smaller somehow. I felt like the room and I were now equals. I unbuttoned my skin tight black jeans, and my peach satin panties were a perfect contrast to my honey skin. I freed myself of them both, the panties were Sullivan's favorite color on me. When they hit the floor, I felt like a weight was lifted off of my pussy.
He only wanted me in nudes, pretty pinks and various shades of white. They made me feel plain and hidden, not sexy, as underwear should. Staring in the mirror, I undid my straightened out ponytail and ran my fingers through my hair. Another negative reminder of Sullivan was he wasn't a fan of my naturally curly hair. Thick with the color of toffee brown and blonde tresses. I slipped the white turtleneck over my head and unloosened my bra and set my perky c cups free. I couldn't look at myself in the mirror any longer, because the woman staring back belonged to Sullivan and she was dead, the minute she saw the photos.
I turned the stainless steel knobs and watched as the room quickly filled with steam. I wanted to wash myself clean of the last three years. I placed myself directly under the shower head. The water ran over me and I felt my hair curling up, my nipples hardening from the heat. I took the sponge in my hand and placed it over my body. The body wash felt like silk, allowing the sponge to travel over my body like a lover's hand. The soft sponge brushed my clit and I jerked, the chill it sent made me gasp. I looked around as if it was someone else's touch and not my own. I dropped the sponge and let my hands and the water explore me. I bit down on my bottom lip, as I took my right breast in my hand and gave it a rough squeeze.
My left hand trailed down to my pussy as I opened my slick folds to my soft fingers. I felt like velvet, as I began to stroke my clit. I placed my right leg on the tub to give myself more access to my opening. I wanted to feel my tightness, the hot water ran through my hair and down my back, caressing my ass. I placed one finger inside myself and bit down on my lip as I began to slowly move my finger in and out of my opening. I wanted more, so I inserted a second finger. Slow and steady I worked myself, my lips parted and my chest rising as I was getting close to releasing. I stroked harder and faster, as my other hand squeezed my clit. My back arched and I moaned as my leg shook from the pleasure that finally escaped me, I hadn't had an orgasm for weeks. Once I was done I felt drunk and dazed from the pleasure.
While I became a pinned up ball of sexual frustration, Sullivan got his rocks off, and very fucking frequently. After caressing myself with the cocoa butter and brushing my wet curls into a ponytail, I laid in Molly's guest bedroom. I sprawled out on the bed, and drifted off to sleep from my orgasm.
The next morning, I awoke to Molly talking loudly into her phone, it reminded me of Sullivan on the phone with his investors, at all hours of the night. I rummaged into one of my Louis Vuitton suitcases and found a knee length tan pajama nighty, with white lace sleeves.
"Hey Moll, everything ok?" I asked as I stood at her kitchen entrance. Molly pointed to the phone and rolled her eyes, I giggled and headed over to the Keurig. I looked through the k-cups, and found Starbucks blonde roast. She ended her call and let out a deep breath and said, "How did you sleep?" I took in the smell of the coffee and said, "I slept well all things considered."
With concern in her voice she said, "I could pull some strings and get you a job, at an office or something." I hadn't thought about working because quite frankly, I didn't have the need to. Sullivan took care of me, well financially at least.
He wasn't very satisfying in bed, but because I loved him, I didn't have the heart to tell him. A woman in love will withstand anything, even bad sex. Molly broke my thoughts with a wave of her hand, I peered at her over my coffee and said "I want to work in a gallery, surrounded by beautiful art."
I continued to look at her over my coffee as I sipped. She sat her coffee down on the counter and said "How about you come with me to work?" I thought about it, and figured it would be better than sitting here alone and miserable. "Yeah, let me get dressed."
She stared at me and said reassuringly, "It's all going to work out." I didn't have the heart to share the optimism in her voice so I smiled and walked to the guest room to get dressed. I looked through my suitcases and found the perfect mid-September outfit. The weather was still comfortable.
I looked at myself in the floor length mirror. I had on a white fitted buttoned down blouse, with a tan lace bra, fitted ripped jeans and my favorite tan wedge peep toe vintage pumps. I pulled my hair into a cute messy bun with a few of my natural curls falling around my ear and the nape of my neck. I put on Molly's red matte lipstick and I blew myself a kiss in the mirror.
"Damn girl, how much longer?" Molly called out as I grabbed my bag and she was waiting at the door. Molly was deep in her phone, dressed in a pair of white skin-tight jeans, a black long sleeve fitted turtleneck and a pair of classic red bottom flats.
"Ready." I said as I stood waiting for her reaction.
She looked me over puzzled "Nyla you going on a lunch date?"
I giggled and said "No, just wanted to slay the day." I winked at her and she giggled. We walked down the wide hallway and out the door and hailed a cab. I looked around and took in the city. I love this city but leaving here starting over could be an adventure.
Sitting in the back of the cab I stared out the window, I remembered the property in Chicago. A chic downtown loft. My name is on the property from when I would visit my father before he passed.
"You ok?" Molly asked inquisitively, while holding my hand. I looked at her and said, "Remember the loft in Chicago?" The cab came to a stop at the red light, and with a raised brow she said, "Yeah what about it?"
I took in a deep breath and laid my head back against the headrest then told her, "It's in my name. I'm going to go there, and start over." She looked at me intriguingly, then said "Ok, when? How?"
I sighed, "The sooner the better. I have some money saved." She was patiently waiting for me to finish the plan. “Sullivan gave me something like an allowance. I put it in a savings account. I'm going to withdraw it and leave tonight." I looked at her trying to predict what she'd say next. Without taking her eyes off of me, she told the cabbie, "Take us back to my apartment."
We were still holding hands, and I was on the brink of messing up my makeup. I'd have to leave her here; I'd be there alone. She squeezed my hand tighter, and a tear trickled down my cheek.
"It's what I need, Moll." I said with my head still on the headrest, the tears from falling down into my hairline.
"I think so too Nyla, he was so toxic." She said as she laid her head on my shoulder.
When we got back to Molly's apartment, there wasn't much for me to repack since everything was still in the suitcases. But there were still some things that I needed to get together. While I did that, Molly sat on the bed watching me.
"So what will you do when you get there? I mean job wise?"
"Honestly Moll, I hadn't thought that far ahead. I just know I have to get away from HIM. I knew that I needed that feeling of security again. And if I were honest, I hadn't felt that in a while with him, but now I know why."
"He's such a douchebag for treating you anything less than the queen you are. Just say the word and I'll have someone take out his kneecaps." Molly said cheekily.
But somehow, I didn't think she was joking. I told her, "No thanks Moll, he'll eventually get what's coming to him. You know, karma and all." I sighed despairingly, "It's you who I'll miss the most. You're like the sister I never had but always wanted."
Molly returned my sorrow, "I know, but it's only a plane ride away." The weather seemed to match both of our moods. There was already a chill in the air from it turning to fall, but in that moment it began to drizzle and become rather gloomy. It felt like my heart was breaking all over again, but ten times worse.
As I put the last items in their place in my luggage, Molly said, "Okay, so here's how our ‘see you later’ will go. And it will be a see you later, not a goodbye. When we get to the airport, there will be no tears shed, no sniffling, and no sorrows. I couldn't bear that. Agreed? Otherwise, I'm kicking your ass."
I chuckled, "Agreed. But as if you could take me on. You might have me in weight, but I've got you in strength." She popped me in the arm as her phone began to ring.
"Hello? Oh okay, well we'll be right down."
She looked at me with unshed tears in her eyes, realizing this is it, "Cab's here. If I was strong enough, I'd let you ride in the cab alone." I looked up at the ceiling, in fear of her reading the vulnerability in my face. That gave me a moment to recompose myself, "And if I was strong enough, I'd let you."
We gathered all five of my bags and headed towards the elevators, I looked back and thought to myself, "Well New York, it was a good run. And maybe I'll see you again soon.
The ride in the cab to JFK was a quiet and reflective one, both for me and Molly. We both knew it'd be a while before we saw each other again. Molly was trying to keep the business afloat and I was trying to get over my heartache. We were just content in being in each other's company. Thankfully, it wasn't as crowded at the airport itself (by New York's standards).
As the cabbie got out to gather my luggage, Molly and I got out holding each other's hand, silently offering support to one another. "I don't know why this is so hard, yet so easy for me to do..." I started.
Molly raised her hand abruptly and said, "Ah, what did we agree to do? If you start, I'm going to cry and then we'll be fighting."
I looked at her for a moment as if trying to commit her features to memory and said, "Okay, ladybug. You're right, but I'd still win in beating your ass. YOU just make sure you find your way out to me soon. And don't worry about trying to give me that money back. Think of it as an investment, okay?"
Molly replied back, "Sure honey. And as soon as I'm done with the current case I'm working on, you bet your round ass I'm coming out for a visit. Who knows? It may be for an extended visit?"
We stood holding each other, like it was the last time. My account totaled a little over $150,000. I gave Molly $50,000 for her business, she needed it. That was us. Always there for each other.
I overheard the chatter of the people saying the flight to Chicago was now boarding.
"Love you, babe." Molly said in my ear. I held her tighter, until we pulled apart, hooked each other's pinky together and said, "forever and always!"
Then, I walked toward the gate. I waved a final ‘see you later’ and walked to the passenger boarding bridge.