Chapter 4

Taking my hands placing them on the blonde's head, I force her head down on my cock. I know what I'm doing. I'm not fucked up at all. I like to push her buttons. Bringing the cigarette to my lips, I lean my head back and then look back to Courtney. I know I’ve pulled her into my game. Smirking at her, I take in her hurt and anger. Yes, feel the emotions I feel every day. You're just like the others.

Let the games begin, bitch.

"Hey, you can join us, the more the merrier."

She looks at me frozen in shock. "You're such an insufferable asshole!"

As soon as she turns and runs upstairs, I feel something turn in my stomach.

Is this guilt I'm feeling?

No.

It’s not guilt.

It can't be.

Why would I feel guilty about hurting her feelings? A whore just like the one on her knees in front of me. Anger courses through my veins, so I grip the blondes hair tighter. I know I'm hurting her by her whimpers, but she doesn't complain. I take her head and shove her down off my dick.

"Leave. Get the hell out of here!"

She scurries out of the house in fear, leaving me alone.

Should I go check on her?

It is my job to watch her after all. That's not why you want to check on her my inner voice taunts me. I argue back yes it is. I zip up my pants and buckle my belt.

Pouring a drink, I bring the glass up to my chapped lips. The burn feels good going down my throat. I guess I need to go upstairs and check on that woman.

I head upstairs and knock on her door.

No response.

I twist the knob.

Fuck!

She locked it.

How the hell am I supposed to protect her and do my job if the doors locked?

Banging on the door, I demand her to open the door. I kick the door open and the sight in front of me makes my chest constrict. There's a baggy on the table with a white substance on a mirror. There’s a rolled-up dollar bill.

I hope she didn't overdose. If she did, it’s gonna be my ass. I lightly slap her face and she moans making me hard. Alec, get a grip on yourself. You can't be thinking these thoughts about a girl you hate. I slap her face a couple more times and her blues green eyes open showing no emotion. She's too far gone. There's no telling how much she took.

"Courtney! Why would you do this to yourself!?"

"Why would it matter to you? I revolt you. You're just like him." She slurs.

Him?

Who is she talking about?

Is it the guy that I was ordered to protect her from?

Did he call her what I called her?

I try to pick her up but she slaps me. Circling her, I lean down behind her and breathe in her ear. "If you're going to die, it's not gonna be on my watch."

Taking my phone out, I call Lucien and I tell him what happened, leaving out the part of what I did to her. I know he'll find out eventually, but I don't care right now. Lucien walks in with Caterina. Shit. I'm so screwed.

"Courtney's high... she locked the door."

Caterina puts her hands on her hips and growls. "What the hell did you do this time?"

Before I know it, I'm tackled to the floor and she's attacking me with her fists. "You were supposed to be watching her. What the hell is your problem?"

Thankfully, Lucien pulls her off me. Courtney staggers as she stands and leans on the wall for support "Caterina, why don't you take Courtney down to your father and see if he can do anything to help her?"

I'm still down on the floor and I look up to my best friend is glaring down at me. There's blood running down my nose past my lips and dripping from my chin. He's glaring at me. I know he's pissed.

When Lucien finally admits his feelings to her, he gonna have his hands full.

"What happened to her to do drugs?" Lucien asked.

I run my hand through my hair and tell him how I was downstairs getting a blowjob from the whore from the club and Courtney got pissed and just left. I told him how I provoked her and then I went to check on her. How she had the door locked and that's when I called him. Pouring me a drink, he hands the glass to me and asks me. "Why do you hate her so much?"

I wonder why I hate her so much. My inner voice taunts me. Because you like her. You hate the idea you like her. I internally growl at that voice in my head. I don't like her. I hate the bitch. Lucien is slapping my face trying to get my attention. I hate myself right now. I hate these feelings she makes me feel.

"I...I don't know if I hate her or like her. She's got my mind all fucked up. One minute I like her, and then I saw her at the club that night and she was flirting with every guy, being a whore."

Lucien looks at me wide-eyed and then bursts out laughing at my confession.

Laugh it up, Lucien.

One day it will be me teasing you when you admit to me your feelings about Caterina. I've had enough of this and go to leave when he says "Shit man, I'm just teasing you. It sounds like to me your jealous of other men. Let’s get drunk."

We sit there and we are both feeling pretty good after that bottle. My thoughts go back to that certain blonde in the other room. Should I go apologize or just leave it alone tonight? She would probably scream bloody murder. I stand up to leave when he tells me "Where are you going?"

I down the rest of my last glass of whiskey stumbling to the door, "I'm going to sleep."

I don't know why but I find myself thinking about how I want her so bad right now. I barely make it down the hallway when I change my mind turning back around.

Screw it.

I know I'm about to mess up even more, but I'm too drunk to care. I find myself walking in her bedroom and she’s sprawled out on the bed. I find myself sitting next to her touching her soft skin and damn it is soft. I hear her whimper in her sleep. Is she having a nightmare? She looks so beautiful, so innocent when she's sleeping. I remind myself to quit thinking like that. She's gripping her sheets. I press my finger against her cheek and run it down to her neck. She tenses with fresh tears running down her face. I know that feeling all too well. Nightmares. Memories. She's whimpering quietly in her sleep, "Please don't do this Sergei... I'm sorry... stop your hurting me."

My body instantly freezes and now I know I have misjudged this woman. The guilt rushes in. I'm just as bad as him. I wrap my arms around her waist, pulling her to my chest. My heart aches for her. I rub my hand on her arm trying to comfort her. No matter how much I wanted to hate her, my body betrayed me. Something about her made me react to her pain. Hate or not, she needed my protection.

Finally, I manage to calm her down after an hour. She's sleeping peacefully now and my mind goes to that name she whimpered in her sleep. Sergei. I'm gonna kill that bastard for touching her. I'll make him suffer slowly.

I place a kiss on her forehead and whisper. "I’m sorry."

I sneak out of her bed and crack the door open to peek down the hallway. Nobody’s up. I turn the knob on my door quietly and see Lucien smirking at me. Shit. He knows.

"You know Alec, I came here to tell you something only to find you not here. I looked in the guest room to find you two snuggled up like lovers. Care to explain?"

He crosses his arms over his chest and patiently waits for my response. There’s no lying my way out of this. I run a hand over my face, "I don't know. I was going to check on her. Then she started having a nightmare. I guess I can relate. I just held her to calm her down. Nothing is going on."

"You want to fuck her!" he exclaims.

Do I want to?

Hell yeah, but Caterina will probably kick my ass. The demon inside my head taunts me.

Go ahead and fuck her.

Make her yours.

Pulling my hair I scream out, "Goddammit… fuck!"

My best friend steps back, raising his hands in surrender, "Get a fucking grip on yourself. She sure does mess with your head doesn't she?"

He left over thirty minutes ago. I contemplate whether I should check on her one more time. I walk down to her room and step inside only to find the bed empty. She walks out of the bathroom and she backs away from me.

There’s that voice again.

Claim her.

Take her now.

No!

I can't… at least not yet.

Looming over her small frame, I look into her eyes. She's afraid of me.

Taking a strand of her hair, I tuck it behind her ear. She’s trembling. I look at her closer and freeze when I realize what she was doing in there. She's high again.

"Please tell me you didn't...you didn't get high again," I whisper.

She pushes me away and I shove her to the wall gripping her wrists. Her body pressed against mine feels so good, so right. I grip her chin forcing her to look at me. Barely above a whisper, she whimpers in pain. “I'm sorry.”

She has nothing to be sorry for. This is all my fault. The guilt rushes in and I do the only thing I can think of. I kiss her. I crash against her mouth, forcing my tongue between her lips. She's at my mercy. I love the way she tastes and feels. Suddenly, I feel a stinging on my face.

She slapped me?

Kiss her again, Alec.

I force my lips back onto hers forcing my tongue back in and she knees me in the balls. I crumble to the floor holding on to my balls in pain. "What the hell?!"

At that moment, everybody comes running in and takes in the scene in front of them. My boss looks at me and laughs.

“You have a problem, Alec?” Giovanni asks, amusement in his eyes.

I glare at my boss and Lucien steps in and takes me away from the scene. I pour me a drink and down the glass. Lucien is my best friend but I swear sometimes he gets on my nerves.

“What did you do to her to make her knee you in the balls?” Lucien asks.

Pouring another glass, I glare at him. I can’t stop thinking about the way her body felt against mine and the way she tasted. Suddenly, my pants feel so tight. I’m so hard I can barely stand it.

I shake the thoughts away and look at him. "I kissed her."

It's his turn to pour himself a drink.

"That's why she got you in the balls?"

I nod at him and he laughs at me again then goes serious.

"Why don't you two just have sex and get it over with. All this sexual tension is killing all of us."

“I could say the same about you and Caterina.” I shoot back.