Chapter 7
[Amelia POV]
My shift at the café was busier than the day before but I didn’t even notice. All I could think about was that I was going to see Owen again tonight. I actually feel like I miss him which makes no sense because we are basically strangers, and yet I trust him completely already. I mean my mom taught me about stranger danger when I was a kid, but I don’t feel in danger around him.
‘Of course you feel safe with him! He is our mate, he will kill and die for us.’ Anaya says nonchalantly.
‘Kill?! I don’t want him to kill anyone!’ I respond panicking.
‘Mia there is a lot you still don’t understand about being a werewolf. There are dangers in the world. Other wolves who may cause trouble even harm others. If he needs to Owen will protect you to the death. You and him complete each other, now that he found you his protective instincts are stronger. He will protect his mate with everything he has, so no you don’t have to be afraid of him.’ She explains.
‘Really? That seems a little crazy honestly.’ I admit.
‘Maybe to humans, but you are not human Amelia. You are part of something bigger than just being human. It can be crazy but also beautiful. So be open minded as you learn more, the more you open up the more you will feel comfortable being what you really are.’ Anaya tells me.
She can be so poetic sometimes. I know she is telling me the truth and I know I need to trust people more, but there is always a side inside me that tells me that I need to be careful. That sometimes people lie or that people don’t care about my feelings and that I need to stay silent. I have always felt like I just had to do what people say and not complain. Even if what they say or do hurts me, I could never seem to say how it really made me feel. I just kept quiet all my life, and I had hoped that part of my life was over. But now there is some who I belong to again.
I belong to Owen because I am his mate, and because the moon goddess says we belong together. Anaya keeps saying he will be stronger because of me, but what will I be? Am I just to be an accessory so that he can become a more powerful Alpha? I am not strong as a human or a wolf so what can I expect? I have nothing to offer as a member of a pack, and yet I have to belong because I am going to be the Alpha’s mate. These are the thoughts that I can’t seem to let go. Of course, I feel the pull to wan to be with Owen, and I am guessing that has more to do with the mate bond and I don’t have much control over it.
I feel this urge to be near him and when we touch all I feel is electricity between us and I know it is a physical response, but it only confuses me. I want to be cautious and think everything through, but when I am around him I am a gushing blushing mess. I hate it. I need to think clearly and be smart about this, so tonight I need to ask questions. I need to understand everything, and I need to be clear about my feelings.
‘Amelia I know you are scared, and there are a lot of things you don’t know or understand but I promise once you know everything it will make sense to you. You are Luna Amelia, and that means something special. I have held back from telling you things because you have always kept me at a distance until now. I wanted to explain everything to you sooner, but you always shut me out. I didn’t want you to wait this long but you seemed scared. I didn’t want to overwhelm you. You are special Mia more than you know.’ Anaya tells me as I walk into my apartment at 6:30.
I feel guilty because she is right. When I first heard her try to speak to me I was scared, and I thought I was imagining things. I thought if I told my mom that I was hearing voices, she wouldn’t believe more. In our family mental illness is not a real thing, they didn’t believe in therapist or medication for problems that you should be able to just deal with. I was sure something was wrong with me but I just pushed it away and didn’t tell anyone. It wasn’t until I started noticing Liam spacing out once in a while and after seeing it happen enough times I asked him why. He didn’t want to tell me at first, but eventually he told me that he had been hearing a voice for over a year.
He didn’t know what it was at first but then he said the voice explained to him that because he was a werewolf, which he knew but he explained to him more about what being a werewolf meant. I knew what we were but not what it meant. He tired to tell me to open my mind to the voice and part of me wanted to but the other part of me was afraid to. I didn’t want to be different, and I didn’t want to be a werewolf. My mom hated them because of our father, and I didn’t want her to hate me more. I think deep down I thought I fi pretended I was normal she would believe it and not resent me so much. Of course that never happened, and I always wondered why she never just sent us away instead.
The night I talked to Liam I let my mind open and Anaya spoke to me and I listened. She seemed scared, like if she said the wrong thing I would block he rout again. I opened up to her and she told me that we could do more than just talk, that we could even shift but I didn’t want to. Having a voice in my head was weird enough and stressful to keep secret, but to shift into an actual wolf was too much and I never felt ready. Now I am 18 and wouldn’t even know how to shift unlike others who had started shifting since they turned 16. I moved here to be free, but maybe the person keeping my caged has been myself all along. I know I need to take more chances and maybe Owen is my chance.
‘Mia I am a part of you, and you of me. I would never tell you to do something that would bring us into harm. I can speak to his wolf too you know. He is funny and sarcastic and sweet; he cares about us so much already. He wants to help you and he wants to take care of you.’ Anaya says.
Damn I keep forgetting she hears all my thoughts. That’s definitely a down side to this whole thing, but I don’t want to block her again. I don’t want to hurt her like I used to.
‘I can block you too you know!’ She snaps back.
‘What?! You would block me?’ I ask nervously.
‘Only if you get on my nerves, which is starting to happen right now with all these thoughts you are having.’ She says with a slight growl.
‘I am sorry, ok? I am just nervous about everything. I don’t really know what to expect, but let’s do this!’ I say taking in a deep breath and feeling confident.
‘That’s my girl! You got this!’ She says proudly.
I walk into my closet and try to find something comfortable but also cute, because I still want to impress Owen. I decided on my black jeans and my favorite t-shirt, but I paired it with some cute earring and flats. I walk into the bathroom and look at myself in the mirror for a minute not really sure what to do with my hair. Its wavy but it has been up in a half up bun all day and had lost its waviness. So, I decided to us my curler and add a few curls then run my fingers through them to add more volume. I put on a little eyeliner, mascara and blush and decide I don’t look terrible so it should be good enough. As I finished up a text came in from Owen saying he was downstairs.
‘This is it! My first real date.’ I say letting out a shaky breath.
‘He thinks everything you do is adorable, so don’t worry!’ Anya says with a mall laugh.
‘What?! Are you allowed to tell me his thoughts like that?’ I ask a little taken aback.
‘Hey, if Samuel didn’t want me to know he wouldn’t have told me.’ She says with a giggle which she does often when she calls Owen’s wolf by his name. She is seriously in love.
I grab my purse and phone and lock the apartment door behind me. I can feel my heart racing as I walk down the stairs. This is really happening; I am going on my first real date with someone who I am destined to be with forever. No pressure. The café is mostly dark except a light left on in the back of the kitchen. I walk slowly through the and stop as soon as I am in front of the door. I caught sight of Owen leaning against his black Jeep and I couldn’t move. Seriously how can he look so perfect? I mean is he even real, he looks like he dropped right out of GQ or something.
‘He sure looks tasty!’ Anaya says with a low growl.
‘Down girl, we haven’t even gone on our first date yet.’ I tell her. Why is she so horny now?
‘Hey he is our mate! I can drool over him whenever I want and so can you! So go ahead and look, it’s all ours!’ She adds.
‘Oh my goddess Anaya, what is with you? Sheesh!’ I reply feeling a little awkward.
‘Hey, you are the one standing her watching him not me.’ She replies.
Damn she is right, how long have I just been watching him? I am such a creep! I finally break out of the spell I am under and open the front door and quickly turn to lock it allowing myself one last moment to breathe before facing the most handsome man I have ever seen. No! Stop! Focus Amelia! I can do this!
I turn and he is looking at me and smiling and it’s like he has stars in his eyes. He is just a guy, get it together! I smile back at him and walk over to the car.
“Hey beautiful!” He says smiling and walking over to the passenger side of the car and opening the door for me.
Damn! He is good.
On the seat of the passenger side are flowers, white daisies. My favorite! How did he know?
‘I may have mentioned a few things to Samuel earlier.’ Anaya admits.
‘That’s cheating!’ I say annoyed at her.
‘Owen really wanted tonight to be perfect, I just wanted to help make it special for you. You deserve a perfect date Mia.’ She says.
Well how can I be mad at that?
“These are for you!” He says grabbing the flowers quickly and handing them to me.
“I love them! Daisies are my favorite.” I say putting them to my nose and smelling them. “Thank you!”
He smiles and I climb into the car. He closes the door for me and jogs to the driver’s side of the car and gets in.
“You ready?” He asks after we are both buckled in.
I give him a nod and we leave. At things are really quiet, and I feel the need to turn on the radio or something before it feels awkward. I didn’t want to be too pushy though so I don’t say anything and just look out the window instead.
“I have a cable here if you want to plug your phone in and play some music!” He says handing me his AUX cord.
I was so happy, and I couldn’t help the excited squeal I let out when I grabbed the cord and plugged my phone in. He just laughed and smiled at me, which just made me feel embarrassed of acting like a little kid in front of him.
‘Just be yourself Mia, don’t worry so much!’ Anaya reminds me.
She is right, I need to just be myself even if its totally embarrassing sometimes. If I am going to be with Owen for the rest of my life I can’t pretend forever. I scroll through some of my music and I realize that I listen to way too many love songs. I don’t want to give off the wrong idea by picking the wrong song so I decide on my favorite song right now. Goodbye to love by a guy named Ginger Jamie. I had never heard of the artist before but one day when I was sad I came across the song and it was really beautiful, so I have listened to it several times since. The song is slow and beautiful, but I realize it is also kind of sad.
“Moving on
But I'm not letting go
Of all our memories
And I can't sleep
'Cause even though you're far away
You're still in my dreams
We need to fix this
No, we can't just say it's done
'Cause when you say it's over
It's only just begun
Look at the stars up in the sky
Look into the clouds above
Just listen to your heart
You can't say goodbye to love
You can't say goodbye to love
The distance hurts
It's so hard to move away
From the one thing I love
And it's killing me
To know that you're moving on
And I'm still stuck
We need to fix this
No, we can't just say it's done
'Cause when you say it's over
It means only just begun
Look at the stars up in the sky
Look into the clouds above
Just listen to your heart
You can't say goodbye to love
No, you can't
You can't say goodbye to love
You can't say goodbye to love
Oh woah
You can't say goodbye to love
'Cause you left me broken
And now I can't think straight
And every time I hear your name
It drives me insane
I don't wanna move on
I need you in my life
'Cause without you, oh
I don't think that I'll survive
You can't say goodbye to love, woah
You can't say goodbye to love
You can't say goodbye”
I realized that maybe this song choice wasn’t the best, because Owen’s face looked a little sad once the song was over. What did I do? I just ruined the mood!
“I am sorry, that was kind of a sad song. Let me put on something else.” I say quickly picking a more upbeat song.
Owen doesn’t say anything at first, but he seems to be deep in thought. I try to keep my eyes in front of me, but I can’t help but glance at him every once in a while. He still looks so sad. How do I fix this? I was about to say something before he spoke first.
“Do you listen to that song often?” he asks me in a serious voice.
I don’t want to tell him that I do, but I also don’t want to lie to him.
“Yeah, it’s one of my favorites recently.” I say plainly.
He doesn’t say anything but gives me a slight hum to let me know he heard me. I can’t believe I already ruined my first date and its only been 10 minutes.
“Can I ask why that song is your favorite?” He asks still serious.
I really don’t want to bring a damper on our date, but we did say we would get to know each other tonight.
“I usually listen to music based on my mood. I guess I have been a little sad lately.” I admit fidgeting with my fingers.
He looks over at me for a moment before focusing on the road again, he almost looks guilty. Does he think I am not happy I met him? Because even though I have been scared and worried, I am happy we met. I need to say something, so he doesn’t misunderstand.
“I mean I was sad before I came here, and well met you.” I say shyly.
That was really hard to say without blushing like crazy, which of course I do. I guess I am not used to saying such things to someone. His face lights up and reaches over and takes my hand in his and squeezes it tight. This really does make me feel so happy, being here with him. It feels right.