Chapter 4
Marilyn
Ryland finally came home, and he seemed distant, like he was lost in thought.
"What's wrong sweetie?" I asked him curiously.
"Nothing, just some stuff on my mind," he coldly answered.
"Everything go okay at the pack meeting?" I asked concerned. This was unusual behavior for him.
"Yeah, everything went fine. Don't worry. I just feel a little off today. But I'm sure that all will change now that I can spend the day lounging around with my gorgeous woman," he said, smiling and sounding more like his old self. He pulled us both down into the sofa behind us and I landed on top of him giggling.
"I am so lucky to have you. You're all I need in life," he said, placing a kiss on my forehead and making my heart melt.
"Awww you're so sweet. I'm lucky to have you too. I don't know where I would be without you," I told him sincerely.
"You won't have to worry about where you would be without me ever again because you will never leave my side. I will always protect you," I took my hands and brought his face closer to mine so I could kiss him.
"I love you, Ryland," I told him breathless.
"Not as much as I love you, Marilyn."
Destiny
I tried so hard to let things go and forget what I saw and how much it hurt, but I couldn't. I had been living with this pain for a while now, and I knew in my heart I would never be over it.
Flashback
I am from the Westwood Territory, and I was visiting one of my cousins who lived a few hours away in the Lake Moss Territory. I rarely got the chance to visit her and my aunt.
My cousin's name was Haley and we were inseparable when we were younger. Her Dad had died a few years ago and my aunt was lucky enough to get a second chance mate. When she met him, he won her over and they moved in together so she could be with him. I was a little sad at first but happy for my aunt. Richard was a great guy who loved her more than anything.
They were happy to see me. We laughed a lot, just enjoying each other’s company. Everything was fine until we went out to eat.
We pulled up to the new expensive looking restaurant. I couldn't help but admire its beauty. As soon as I stepped out the car, my wolf felt agitated. I tried calming her down, but it didn't seem to work, so I pushed her to the back of my mind and ignored her.
We stood in line waiting since we didn't have reservations. When I looked behind me, I immediately knew why she was acting the way she was, our mate was here.
I saw a man and a woman laughing and talking together. I only saw the back of his head but I knew he was mine. The woman was smiling at him, and they seemed so happy.
"Wow Ryland, this place is gorgeous and really expensive. Are you sure?" I heard the woman say to him. Call me nosy, stalkerish if you want, but this was my mate.
I could tell by the way he tensed up his wolf, sensing my presence too, so I hide myself from view, listening to their conversation. He seemed to try to shake the feeling, shut his wolf out if possible, and just continued to smile and focus his attention on the girl. Luckily, I was wearing heavy perfume and there were lots of people to cover up my scent, so it wasn't so overwhelming that his wolf would take control. I needed to know what I was up against before I made myself known.
"Of course. Anything for you," he replied. Damn his voice was sexy.
"But you didn't have to," she started before he cut her off.
"But I wanted to. We've been together a while now, and I didn't forget this is our three-year anniversary. I also know you haven't been here before since this place is new. So just let me spoil you for one night. No arguments okay?"
My heart stopped beating. Three-year anniversary? Were they married? I didn't even hear the woman's reply. I immediately looked at her finger. I was relieved to see no ring there. But I had to get out of here, clear my head. I needed to think.
Here was the man I waited for my whole life with another woman who seemed to have him wrapped around her finger. My wolf was clawing at me from the inside, wanting to rip her to shreds. The logical side of me wanted to talk to him and see where he stood instead of assuming the worst.
Despite what people may think, it's not always easy finding your mate. Yes, they bring you more happiness than ever imagined, but most of the time you go through hell and high water to get there.
People assume appearance wise that mates have always loved one another and their life has been one big fairytale. But ask anyone with a mate ,and they will most likely tell you that is a complete lie.
As much as I wanted a life with a mate, a happily ever after, I had to accept that maybe he didn't want me. He seemed perfectly content in his life and as soon as we lock eyes I would turn it upside down. Don't get me wrong, there was no way I would simply let him slip through my fingers. However, I had no needed to know how deep his love for this woman went.
Apparently he fell for her with no help from the moon goddess. This was his free will. Yes, we were made for one another, destined to be together for eternity but would he ever feel the way about me that he felt about her? I know the love between them would never compare to the love we hopefully would one day share. Ours would be much stronger, but only because the mate bond. I needed to know one day I could look into his eyes and see that it was something more. That he would look at me the way he did to her, no strings attached.
It may sound strange, but it made perfect sense to me. My wolf, however, didn't feel the same.
"I need to leave. Can we please go somewhere else?" I begged my cousin. I knew the longer I stayed, the more likely I would end up doing something I would regret. My wolf was a jealous one, and I didn't know how much longer I could control her.
"I suppose so. Any particular reason?" she asked. I could see the look of disappointment on her face, but there is no way I could stay.
"No, I just need to leave. Besides this place is way too fancy for my liking. I feel out of place," I said, which wasn't a complete lie.
"Sure honey, we can go somewhere else," my aunt said.
I breathed a sigh of relief. I would have time to sort this whole mess out. We left and ate at a less upscale place before returning home.
Later that night I couldn't sleep. I could feel the slight humming of pain in my chest. That is enough for me to know that it meant my mate was sleeping with someone else. It didn't really hurt since we hadn't mated or did anything that would strengthen the bond like skin contact. Hell he didn't even notice me since I kept hidden, but I knew he was mine so I did feel something.
I tossed and turned, thinking of how he was making love on his anniversary to another woman that should have been me. My wolf whined and scolded me, saying it all could have been prevented. I didn't disagree with her. I would have definitely put a damper on things by making myself known, but there were so many unanswered questions I didn't want to take the risk just yet nor cause a scene.
I woke up to my cousin bouncing on the foot of my bed excitedly. "Guess what, guess what, guess what?" she said happily.
"What?" I asked annoyed. I wasn't a morning person.
"We got invited to a party over in West Lake territory."
West Lake territory was the strongest territory in the country. Hayley's pack was a close third, and the one I belonged to was second.
"You think that's a good idea? You guys have had some issues in the past. Your packs are practically enemies," I told her truthfully. Everyone knew the two packs were not on the best of terms.
I wasn't sure what happened, but the former alphas had some kind of dispute about a prisoner, and before them there were even wars between the two. Relationships change with each alpha, but there would always be some bitterness. No peace treaty had ever been signed, and for the most part the two ignored each other.
"I know, but that's in the past now. It will be fine. Besides there have been packs for miles invited it’s only an hour drive. Pleaseeeee"
"Alright, alright but I'm not happy about it."
"Yaaaay you won't regret it," she squealed, leaving the room.
A few hours later we got dressed and headed out. I wasn't in the partying mood, but I looked the part in a red skin tight dress and black heels. I let my brown wavy hair flow and did minimal make up. I didn't think my mate would show, but if he did, I wanted to look somewhat decent.
Haley left me alone after she went to dance with some guy. I was sitting at the bar, drinking not really able to enjoy myself. I was about to Haley to let her know I would catch a ride home when I felt that slight humming of pain in my chest.
It was happening again. I couldn't stand. I drank too much, and I couldn't stop the tears from flowing. I could barely feel the pain, but knowing what he was doing made it hurt worse. I was glad the bond wasn't stronger, otherwise I wouldn't have been able to stand it.
I looked to the left and noticed I was sitting next to a guy who looked beyond drunk. I recognized him as Daniel, the gamma of West Lake. He came to our territory a couple times before. He was friends with our gamma Grant, and our alphas got along well. I remember when he came for a pack meeting. All the girls were crazy about him. They often went on and on about how they wished they could be his mate just to sleep with him, apparently he was good in bed, although it was rare for him to sleep around. It was no secret he wanted his mate.
I don't know what made me want to tell him my whole story, but I did. Maybe because I knew he wouldn't remember or tell anyone. Maybe because I knew I would never see him again.
After getting everything off my chest and telling him how good a listener, I wanted to thank him and stop the pain of emotions running through me for just a second, so I kissed him. Oddly enough, it felt good to get everything off my chest.
I know it was stupid. Here I am crying over my mate about him being with someone else when he doesn't even know I exist. I know he exists, but I just kissed someone else.
I didn't have feelings for Daniel and I would never give myself to anyone but my mate. I just needed to take my mind off things and the alcohol didn't help. My wolf was furious, but it was too late now. I finally got myself together, found Haley to let her know I was leaving and left.
Flashback over
After that night, I started trying to figure out where my mate was. I was leaving in a few days and I needed to do something. All I knew was that his name was Ry or at least his nickname from her was. I decided to ask my cousin to see if she could help but I knew she was preoccupied. She met her mate that night, and apparently he was the beta of West Lake. They had been talking and texting non-stop.
"Haley, can I ask you something?"
"Sure, what is it?"
"Do you know anyone by the name Ry? "
"Hmmm….. nope, but I do know a Ryland."