Chapter 5 - Part I
"Jenny!"
"Listen to me, honey. I will always want the best for you." She cooed as if I was a little baby throwing a tantrum.
"I know that, Jenny, and I love you for that. But this? No."
I let out a low growl.
"Oh, sweetie." She sighed, making me feel as if I was a rebellious and difficult child, which I was not, "I won't lie to you; I have no idea what you have been through. But even you know that the smart and sensible and decision, here, and now, is to be back together, with each other, where the both of you belong."
Both of us belong? I wanted to roll my eyes.
"For the tenth time, Jenny," I growled again but tried to calm myself down, "Terrence Powers is neither my boyfriend, husband, nor my ex."
"Denial is the first step after rejection, love, and then is anger. I know you are a smart girl, and I know that you've moved on from whatever the two of you had." She smiled a warm smile at me, that had me almost, almost melting.
I sighed.
"I have no idea what you are talking about. And I have no idea what's gotten into your head. Today was the first time I met him properly, Jenny. There's no way I could have had any kind of a relationship with him before. I had always thoughts he was married." I flopped back on the couch.
Jenny was a fifty two year old sweetheart, living with her husband, the love of her life, right across my apartment. She was amazing, and was a diehard romantic, along with being so lovely and kind. After the death of my parents, when I had decided to move into this apartment, she had helped me all along, and made me food whenever I was too tired to do anything on my own.
All the time I had been staying here, she always said that I needed to find a man who could take care of me and treat me like his queen. I never met that man, much to her dismay, but she never lost hope.
Now that she had seen Terrence Powers walking out of my doorstep, giving me a playful uninterrupted kiss on the cheek, it was as if her fantasies had come alive and now she believed that he was an ex of mine and had dumped me due to some misunderstanding.
That uninterrupted kiss led to a long cold shower so that my cheeks would stop burning. But no, I didn't have a crush on Terrence Powers at all!
"But he is not, is he? He might or might not love you, but he cares for you deeply, sweetie. I could see it in his eyes, how upset he was, when he was asking around for you. You both need each other right now, and maybe you might be able to forgive him and someday love him." She frowned.
This woman is delusional. Terrence Powers upset for me? No way!
I let out a deep breath, pinching the bridge of my nose.
"Jenny, you need to tone down the amount of romance novels you are reading. He is —"
"Calm down, Lisa. You have to think about your babies too, now. The fate of those two little lives are in your hands now, do what's right." She gave me a small smile, placing a comforting hand on my shoulder.
She knew! Oh my God!
"You know about the twins?" I asked her, dumbfounded.
She nodded with a smile, "I had stopped by to give you some cookies, in the afternoon. But it was Allie who had opened the door and told me you were out for work. When I was about to leave, I heard a baby's cry. Allie rushed inside your bedroom and I went in behind her, only to find that there were two babies. She told me they are yours. Why didn't you tell me you gave birth to twins? Was that why you didn't come to meet me for the past five months. You could have told me, I would have been there for you." She said, frowning at me, and giving me a disappointed look.
Allie didn't even bother to tell me that Jenny knew.
I looked at my feet, not being able to meet her disappointed gaze. I tried to make something up in my mind so that I could explain to her everything without messing everything up. But nothing came up, and I didn't know what to do.
She had always been like a mother to me. How could I lie to her?
She continued, "I know that man is their father, sweetie. You don't have to lie to me. He seemed quite disturbed when he had asked me where you live. But when I saw the both of you coming out of the car, I could see how happy he was when he held his daughter."
"Jen-"
"No, honey. You have two other lives dependant on you now. You have to let their father into their lives. Better yet, you should clear your differences so that you all could be a happy family." Her hand slipped down to hold mine tightly, "I know how much he cares for you and the babies, I can see it. Don't push him away. He feels guilty for what he did, I'm sure. Just think about it, okay, honey?" She kissed my forehead and got up from her seat. She muttered a goodbye and walked out of the door, as I stood there like a fool, gaping at her.
I couldn't bring myself to tell her the truth when I saw the hope in her eyes, the excitement to play cupid. But I couldn't find it in myself to lie to her too. She had always been fussing over me, sometimes even begging me to fix and reconstruct my love life. If I told her that the babies weren't mine and I had no idea what relation Terrence shared with them, she was going to be disappointed.
Terrence Powers might be the father, but I surely wasn't their biological mother. That pervert and Ryan were way too similar to ignore it as a pure coincidence, but I wasn't going to dig deeper to find out how they were related. I was sure Terrence was already at it, and would tell me once he found out, or whenever he wanted to.
I closed the door to my apartment and slumped on the door, exhausted mentally and physically. The twins were making me run all over the apartment and those few hours that we spent with Terrence exhausted my brain. It was kind of nice to know that he cared...
Recognising your own flesh and blood doesn't take years of practice or unexceptional skills. All it needs is a good eye. And Terrence had a pair of beautiful blue, healthy and functioning eyes. He wasn't stupid too, and I knew he could work something out.
I didn't tell him where I found the babies simply because that was something I would rather hide from the whole world. I couldn't pinpoint any other reason except the small fact that I was afraid how he would react.
And then the way he looked, the way he smirked and the way he talked...
I shivered.
It was difficult to convince myself that I was just an ordinary girl and a babysitter to Terrence Powers.
Nothing more.
I was still leaning against the door, but I now stood up, just wanting to prance around naked. Whenever I was exhausted, I always took off my clothes and lied down on my bed, loosing myself in my thoughts or just reading one of my novels. But around the babies, I felt a bit uncomfortable about walking around in my birth suit so I decided to put on a robe.
Both of them were awake, looking at the ceiling and kicking around, their little arms flailing. I sat down in between them and Ryan immediately snuggled closer. He grabbed my robe and stared at me, making me smile at him.
I picked him up and laid him down on my chest.
His opened his mouth expectantly when he rested his cheek just above my breast and I realised that the attempts Ryan had been making at my breasts the whole day were because he wanted me to breastfeed him.
He was going to get disappointed.
Deciding to grant him his wish, I held him and sat up, tugging my robe off from one side and exposing my left breast. I sighed as he eagerly latched his mouth to my nipple and suckled. He tried hard, very hard, but got nothing and when he was finally frustrated, he bit down.
Hard.
Motherfudging asshat pumpernickels!
I literally screamed out, trying to free myself, but his gums weren't leaving me.
My poor breast!
His mouth left the one his gums had trapped and tried to reach for the other one and I pulled him away.
"No, no, Ryan. You bit me and it hurt. It still hurts. I'm not giving you my other breast." I said sternly.
But when he whimpered and gave me a small pout, with his lower lip trembling, I sighed and gave in. I shifted him to my other side as that drama queen immediately opened his mouth, ready to suck.
Breastfeeding sucks, man.
This time, he bit harder and I almost started to tear up. Both my breasts were hurting now, as he tried to suck the life out of me and then bit me. Was this what all mothers had to go through? I was surely not going to wear a bra the next day, no matter what happened.
He started crying when he realised that my breasts were absolutely disappointing, so I decided to finally get him some milk.
Seeing Ryan frustrated like that broke something inside me. He didn't deserve this. Hell, both Raine and Ryan didn't deserve it. These twins deserved a real mother, a real father who could give them the world...
And most importantly, breastfeed Ryan.
Terrence's face immediately popped up in my mind, of course not for breastfeeding him. My first bet was that Terrence, the playboy he was, must have forgotten to use protection with some random chick at a one night stand. The woman, probably afraid or something, must have given up the children when they were born, not knowing herself who the the real father was.
Eeks! I couldn't even think about it that way.
It couldn't be Larissa's because she was way too stuck up to knock herself up right now. And as far as I, and all my colleagues knew, she wasn't pregnant the last time I saw her. Nor did she ever mention it to me.
I sighed and grabbed the bottle, tugging my robe back to its place and sat on the bed, with Ryan still in my arms. As quickly as I could, I checked the temperature and when satisfied, I brought it towards Ryan.
He refused.
He turned his head and tried to push the bottle away, refusing to drink it. Then he turned his head again, his mouth trying to find my nipple.
"Oh come on, Ryan, I can't breastfeed you now even if I want to. Why don't you understand?" I grumbled and sighed.
He whimpered, his big blue eyes staring up at mine desperately making me go weak in my knees. As much as I wanted to, I was incapable of breastfeeding him. So I thought of only one thing I could do. I brought his face closer to my chest, and he stopped crying. He closed his eyes, opened his mouth and I didn't waste even a moment in carefully bringing the bottle closer to his mouth. He immediately latched onto it, thinking that it's me, and drank it up soundly.
My boobs were still sore. But I was too tired to do anything or even move. So, once Ryan fell asleep, I placed him back on the bed and lied down. I closed my eyes too, my exhaustion finally overcoming my consciousness.