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Dear Maria

A sharp knock on the door brought Jonathan back to his senses , the soft smile that had been on his face slipped away as he put the letter aside and got up to open the door. On the other side of the door stood an elderly woman probably in her sixties her hair seemed to be made of finest silver threads, her blue eyes full of warmth. Her mouth turned down in a disapproving expression as she examined the state of the room and Jonathan. “Your mother won’t be happy to see the state you are in my dear boy. I thought that you were more mature than this. Do you think drinking will solve all your problems?" she questioned him disappointedly and before Jonathan could say something she continued “Look at yourself. You are such a mess. Go have a bath and I will prepare breakfast while you are at it" she said and left before waiting for a reply. Maria had been with Jonathan since he was a child and to this day she had remained with him. She was like a second mother to him. Jonathan sighed and went to take a bath. As hot water fell on his body his tense muscles began to relax and he felt a certain amount of peace wash over him. He leaned for support on the wall in front of him and allowed the water to clean all the grime on his body. Now only if he could clean his life that easily.

After showering he put on a simple black T- shirt and some blue jeans. Then he proceeded to the kitchen only to find Maria still in process of preparing food, so he wandered back to his room. He contemplated going to office but the thought seemed as appealing to him as the thought of willingly banging his head on a rock. He knew that he would be too distracted to do work anyways. He didn’t feel like socializing either but then who would feel like it if his wife cheated on him Jonathan thought to himself bitterly. He was playing with idea of getting a drink when his eyes once again fell on the box. He walked over to it and picked the second letter, this one was written on a pretty mauve colored paper. Remembering the pain in his derrière which was still present after sitting on the floor he thought better of it and went to sit on the bed. Folding his legs he started reading the letter

’18 July, 2013

To Jonathan,

Words can’t even begin to describe what I am feeling right now Jonathan. If three years back someone would have told me that I would be worrying about what to wear on a date or that I would have been lying awake thinking about it, I would have smacked that person silly. But you know that’s what has happened today. I spent hours before the date worrying about what to wear, whether I was overdressed or I was underdressed. You know, before this I had never given a second thought about my appearance but today I spent three freaking hours in front of a mirror. My roommate had to physically stop me from pacing saying that I would wear a hole in the floor by so much walking. I was so nervous to meet you and yet so excited at same time.

I was sure that you would be late today as usual but you surprised me by arriving exactly at time. You looked so handsome standing in front of me wearing a delicious dark blue button down and for the first time in my life I was glad that I had chosen to wear a dress. You said that I looked beautiful and though I couldn’t disagree with you more, the way you said it , caressing my name as if it meant so much to you , your green eyes roaming up down my body, taking me in from my head to toe, I felt like I truly was beautiful.

I had spent so much of my time in the past three days, wondering where you were going to take me for our first date and my imaginative mind had conjured up so many images but none of them even hold a candle to what you did. I bet you had to work very hard to seek permission from the Mrs. Bennet for allowing you to use her beautiful lakeside garden and for that you have my respect because even the knights having greatest courage would ever go and dare to ask that woman about it. It was so magical. All the trees were covered in golden fairy lights; you even prepared a picnic basket of my favorite ham and cheese sandwiches. Then you took me for a boat ride and it felt like I was in a dream until I ate those sandwiches and you let the oars go to prevent me from chocking on the food. And although I admit that the sandwiches you made were as dry as paper and you completely ruined my dress when you turned our little boat upside down in an attempt to catch the oar that you let go to save me from chocking but just know that my dear Jonathan it was the best date I ever went to and all these things made it more real.

I know that you are not a romantic person by nature, you are not used to setting up dates but the fact that you tried so hard to make this date, like one of those dates in a romance novel is enough for me. Novels are fictious, they create magic in our lives letting us live the story through characters but they are not real. And had this date been perfect like those in the novels, it wouldn’t have seemed as real to me as it does now. I may not remember that he boat we took was a beautiful swan shaped one but I will surely remember the sound of our laughter when we overcame the shock of being drenched in ice cold water. The way you offered me your jacket because while you could roam around shirtless I had no option other than keeping my wet dress on. I would not remember that the sandwiches you made were so dry that I had to drink juice to swallow them with every bite I took but I will definitely remember the pride that shone in your eyes when I assured you that they still tasted good.

It’s not the way in which we spend our time that counts but what matters is with whom we spend time. A guy could have taken me to moon for date but I would still have chosen our date because the simple fact is that everything looks good and everything seems fun when you are with me. I don’t care if you take me to a barn for a date as long as I get to spend my time with you.

You walked me to the door and when I thought that our date was over you surprised me by giving me a copy of ‘Pride and Prejudice’. You said that you were supposed to bring me flowers as per general customs but thought that I would appreciate it more and you were correct too. Now every time I read the book I will be reminded of you. I have already spent hours tracing your handwriting on the front page. Nobody has ever given me such a thoughtful gift. You have a way of making me feel special Jonathan, making me feel that although I am not perfect to the world I am still perfect to you.

I have replayed the memory of our date nearly thousand times now and I still can’t stop giggling at your expression when you found that a frog had jumped in your pocket when you were in lake or blushing at intensity with which your eyes were gazing at me as you took in my wet appearance. It somehow made me feel beautiful, something I haven’t felt in a long time. My skin still tingles where your lips had touched my cheeks when you bid me good bye and I can still feel the jolt of electricity when you laced your fingers with mine.

It had been wonderful to sit under the stars and talk about anything and everything. Your face has kept me awake till this hour and I have no doubt that it won’t let me sleep today but still if somehow sleep creeps in my eyes I know that I will still be dreaming about you and I hope that you will be dreaming about me too.

Eternally in love with you,

Yours and only yours

Liza’

Jonathan remembered that he had been so nervous about his date with Liza that he had screwed up epically in front of her. He remembered how beautiful she looked her dark hair damp, her wet dress clinging to her every curve and a blush forming on her pale cheeks as his eyes drank her in. He had wanted nothing more than kissing her at that moment but he had managed to restrain himself, telling himself that Liza deserved so much more than being kissed like some cliché movie on the first date. When he had bid her good bye unable to restrain himself anymore he had taken the liberty to kiss her on the cheek. As he left her house he saw her still standing on the front door, with her hand on the spot he had kissed and a soft smile gracing her lips.

Jonathan would do anything to get those days back, to get his old Liza back but as much as he loved her he was still hurt over her betrayal ‘And you have been a saint , haven’t you?’ his conscience asked him sarcastically. He knew he had done some things he wasn’t proud of but still it didn’t lessen the sting of her betrayal. Shaking his head and keeping the letter back in the box, he was about to reach for another one when Maria came in and said “Since it is already late I took the liberty of preparing a brunch, now come on and eat it”. Maria knew that Jonathan was hurting and he himself was majorly responsible for his suffering but she couldn’t let him ruin his health and his life, not after she had promised Liza to take care of him. She smiled her warm smile when Jonathan sat down and began eating. She knew that he was just swallowing down the food for her sake and that he would be hurting for a long time but she could do nothing about this except pray that he would soon get his senses back and realize where he had gone wrong.

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