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Chapter Two

Emma

By the time I was walking in the front door of my apartment complex I had started to question myself. Or rather, my doubt in myself. Was I being too hasty with my escape? Should I have stayed and seen how it could have played out? How...we could have played out?

I had half a mind to turn around and head back after imagining what life with this perfect stranger, Kelsey, could be like. But then I got hung up on that word: stranger. I was being ridiculous, we've known each other less than a day. And I like being on my own, it's freeing.

No, I was right about leaving. This is all for the best. We can both remember our time together fondly and end on a good note.

With that resolved I jumped in the shower of my two-bedroom unit and got work washing away the last of her cherries and vanilla scent from my skin.

I only got out after my skin was red from the heat of the shower and my fingertips were prunes from the extended exposure to water. With no plans for the day, standing around in the shower for who knows how long didn't seem like a big dent in the schedule.

After I finished drying off, I wrapped the towel around my body and got to work on my morning routine as I contemplated what to do with the rest of my day. There was a box mix for chocolate chip cookies in my pantry that I could whip up.

Then I remembered I didn't have any softened butter on hand...if I pulled some out now I could probably start baking in a few hours. Well, with that part of the day decided, I just needed to figure out what to do for a four hours.

Still in my towel that has definitely seen better days, I cruised into my kitchen, pulled out the butter, smiled triumphantly at myself then went back to the bathroom to finish getting ready for my day.

By the time I was dressed, I was considering cracking open some case files and getting some work done while I waited for the butter to soften. Ever since...the accident...I don't spend much time on the front lines anymore. Which means I spent a lot of time reading case files and researching. The background work, if you will, to the job of a crisis negotiator. For every negotiator out in the field talking a subject down, there is at least one other negotiator back at the office pulling intel, finalizing reports, updating training guides, and responding to requests for assistance. Basically it's a lot of paperwork.

I used to hate doing paperwork, I was constantly convincing my teammates to take up that part of the job for me while I went around and worked with people. Because people were my strength, I understood them and I knew how to reach them. I loved coming into work everyday and being a part of a team.

But then Sam died and I couldn't reach people anymore and I started to dread coming to work. I tried to push through it, I really did. Until the woman I was trying to talk off a ledge went the wrong way off that ledge...that's when I asked my boss, Drew, to keep me out of the field whenever possible. And he's been doing a great job of that for about a year now.

Not only was Drew a good boss, but he has been a rock in my personal life too. We started out as equals back in the FBI Academy and quickly became close friends, that was five years ago now. Drew is one of the only people left in my life that has seen who I was before Sam, during Sam, and after Sam. So when I first saw his name pop up on my phone I picked it up with the excitement of speaking to a friend. But then I answered and...

“We’ve got a new case,” his announcement was in place of a greeting but I followed along easily, hopping right into "cop mode".

“Okay, why are you telling me this on my day off? Last I checked, Saturday was part of my weekend, anyway.” It wasn't completely unusual for us to get called in on the weekends, but I did try to keep my work life and my personal life separate from each other. I've always felt like I was pretty successful at that. Especially recently, since I don't actually have a personal life most days.

“Weekends are an illusion and you know it." His little jab was an attempt to make me smile but I didn't say anything so he continued, "I would have waited until Monday but the suspects have been caught in the act. It’s a string of bank robberies, some in New Jersey, some in New York.” That explained our involvement, it crossed state lines and robberies usually included negotiations when police got involved. “The connection between robberies was discovered this past week. It made it to my desk yesterday, but it didn’t reach my priority list until I got a call from the 107 police precinct with the update that there’s a team in the bank off Union and 164th, holed up inside with at least five hostages. All the security cameras have been turned off so we aren't one hundred percent sure on the number.”

“If they’ve made it this far without running into police, what went wrong?” I was already collecting my gear and pulling my shoes on as my interest piqued. Even though I was no longer able to connect with people, I did still have all my training and all my understanding of people's actions and possible motives for those actions.

“A teller was quick on the draw and hit the silent alarm before they had a chance to separate her from it, I guess. I don’t have much on this one, just the history. I’m emailing you the case file, you’re the closest so I want you on site to handle the negotiation. Thompson and I will work on it from the office. Hill is still out of town on his honeymoon so we’ll have to do without him for now.” Drew liked to call everyone by their last names since he was a police officer before going into the FBI. I, on the other hand, did not fall into the community of people that called everyone by their last name so I called Thompson, Nikki, and Hill, Jamie. And I would be on my deathbed before I called Drew, Martinez.

But translating everyone's names from last to first, wasn't what had just taken me over in that moment. As I began to process what he was asking of me, my body filled with dread and my progress to the door stilled.

"Are you sure?" My question hesitant even to my ears. Every muscle in my body was clenching hard as my mind raced with the possibilities of how I could screw this up. "Don't you think Nikki could take this one?"

He sighed before responding, "we both know she isn't ready for something like this yet. Even if I sent her, I would still need someone to shadow her. And we can't risk losing the time it would take her to get there." He paused, possibly waiting for me to respond but I was too focused on getting my breathing under control and trying to get my muscles to relax. "It's been a year, Em. It's time."

I nodded, shakily, but then remembered he can't see me and replied quietly, "okay."

“Okay," he agreed before continuing, "there’s two police detectives onsite already. They were working the case before it got upgraded to federal. Work with them, they are assets.”

I groaned. So not only was he sending me out into the field on a possibly deadly case, I was going to have witnesses in the form of two police officers on my tail the whole time. That's just great.

There was a long pause on his end before he said anything back to me, "are you sure you're up for this?"

This was my chance to say no, just tell him no Drew I'm not up for this and I hate you for putting me in this position. But did I say that? No. You know what I did say? I said, "of course I am."

We sat in silence for a beat before he replied, “we are fresh eyes but they know this case. Thompson and I will reach out to the police department in New Jersey, you buddy up with Detective Collins and Lawson. Got it?”

“Fine, I’ll play nice.” I wouldn't say that I don't commonly play nice, but I certainly didn't make friends these days.

“I appreciate it. I’ll let them know you’re headed over. Keep us posted.”

“Always,” I hung up and headed out the door with my legs still shaking but my head held high. I could do this.

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