Mind-Blown

Angel raged around the room. The whole experience was too much. Thia watched her from the door.

"Who am I?" she yelled, "I...wh...why is this happening to me?" Angel tugged at the roots of her hair, "Why can't I remember who I am or where I'm from? But I can remember that I don't like coffee, or that I got a nosebleed from playing dodgeball in the 5th grade? I mean, it's not like I can't remember anything so why can't I remember who I am?!" She threw herself on the bed, nearly out of breath as she vented.

"I don't have that answer for you, unfortunately. No one knows and you don't remember because of where your torture loop was."

"I'm sorry my...what?"

"This is what I was going to explain before you ran for the hills and made us all look like idiots!" Thia spit, before calming down when she saw the fear in Angel's eyes, "In hell there's these things called torture loops. If you feel guilt about your life or what you've done to others, you are placed in a house with a loop that will manifest your own personal misery. And I know it sounds really bad but...you were found in one."

Angel gaped at Thia like she had two heads, "So I was tortured? Why? What did I do?"

"We don't know, we didn't torture you...you tortured yourself." Thia huffed annoyed that Angel wasn't understanding, "And since you can't remember anything but you're first name, we don't know who you are let alone what you'd torture yourself over.

Hopefully, when Lethe's waters fully recede, you'll have some answers. That's the black shit you kept throwing up, Lethe water, which causes amnesia. Hades said you were in that loop for like a year so it's going to take a while for your memory to come back."

"Why don't I have any scars? I thought torture in hell was supposed to be like burning fire and demons with pitchforks..."

"Ok aside from that being slightly condescending, your loop must have been a mental one, not physical. Either that...or...your guilt is attached to something you did...to someone else? Still, we've all talked about how...coherent you are. Hell has the power to shatter even Hades' mind, let alone a mostly human mind in transition. I'm surprised you're even talking."

"I think now is the time to explain the whole transition thing...It's like you're implying that I'm not fully human."

"I can't Angel, Hades specifically ordered me to stay quiet, he said he wanted to talk to you himself after your memories started to come back."

Angel sat for a minute, nodding her head up and down slightly. The answers she was getting weren't really providing more clarity. Frustration pressed her temple. Torture and transitions. She finally had to accept that she was in hell. It was clear, based on the half dead people, and Hades literally creating fire.

She had no identity, no idea where she came from or who her people were. She couldn't tell if she should trust anyone or anything. Thia was nice but really the only person who made her feel halfway okay was the asshole who treated her like nothing a few minutes ago. The tears chilled her as they fell.

"It's hard, I know," Thia said, placing a glass of tonic on the nightstand, "From what I know, Lethe effects everyone differently. Perhaps it latched onto the memories that have the most to do with your torture loop? And that could be why only specific parts of your memories are missing. I mean, we really don't know. It's not like we've ever had a human drink any before."

Angel started picking up on the distinction she placed on human. What were they if they weren't human? Demons? She wiped her face and tried to calm herself, "Well how many people have been trapped here before me?"

"None. You're the first. So, try to go easy on us," she said rolling her eyes, "We're no better equipped for this than you are."

"I'm sorry I got you in trouble. I was just looking for a way out."

"Thank you! Now we can be friends," Thia said happily, her face returning to the pleasant one from earlier, "But there's no way out of hell unless you're one of us or you have a specific destination with Charon." Angel's puzzled face made Thia smile. There was something genuine about the girl.

She just absorbed the information, no tantrums, no screaming, no hysteria. There was something so calming about Angel, so controlled. "Seriously, though," Thia said, "I need to examine you and you need to drink this pain tonic. Unless you want to go back into withdrawal?"

"Is that what happened before, that pain?" Thia nodded. Then peered into Angel's body.

"Good, looks like you've emptied almost everything over the last week."

"You didn't even examine me."

"Shit. Ok, this is the last mind-blowing thing I'm going to say today...I'm...a goddess. Not nearly as powerful as the gods and goddesses in the throne room earlier but I have my uses. I'm lower tier but I specialize in healing and foresight..."

She watched Angel for any signs of distress before continuing, "Just now, I looked inside your body with my power." Thia said with a worried look. She knew Angel was fragile, more fragile than she appeared. She feared that the strain would make her emotional state even worse. No one knew how bad it would be once Angel could actually remember her time in hell.

"Those beautiful people in the throne room, were gods and goddesses." Angel said not as a question but as a quiet statement. Hades is a god, she said to herself. He would never care for a human. No wonder he acted that way towards her. He actually told her flat out that she was an inconvenience and that he wasn't happy she was there. She most likely annoyed him. Thia sighed and Angel just nodded quietly at her internal thoughts, "No crazier than anything else. I guess I should just be happy you're not demons" She laughed but it sounded exhausted.

Angel took the tonic Thia handed her and downed it in one swallow before curling up into the covers. She just needed to sleep. Thia silently got up, extinguished the gas lights and left. When the door closed, Angel finally let the hungry tears out. Once the tears began it was impossible to stop them. She felt dizzied and nauseated.

Don't dream of him. Don't dream of him. Don't dream, she repeated to herself. Her body seemed so heavy. She didn't even notice when she fell asleep.

---

After the meeting adjourned, the other gods and goddesses travelled back home. It had gone quickly once Angel burst into the room. The other gods sided with Hades, that she should be allowed to complete her transition. And they offered their assistance in tracking what had happened to the girl. The other goddesses, of course, felt threatened and if they hadn't been outnumbered, the decision may have gone a different way.

Aphrodite cast the tie-breaking vote, declaring that the girl's strength and presence of mind alone to have survived a hell loop for nearly a century, allowed her the right to complete her transition. He smiled, knowing the truth of the matter is she most likely sensed a kindred soul in Angel and couldn't bear condemning her to death. He sensed they had a connection to one another though he didn't know how yet.

Now, Hades sat alone. Persephone kept throwing herself at him. After he used her to work out his frustrations with Angel, he realized his mistake. That would only reinvigorate her pursuit of him. He'd tolerated her up to that point, giving in to her body occasionally for stress relief. But in truth, she disgusted him. Her desperately clingy nature repelled him. Hades knew in his heart that she had no love for anyone, she only craved power. Power, a union with him would bring.

He wondered if she envied the girl. Did she sense how he felt? He kept thinking back to the way Angel looked as she burst into the room—her body wild and half covered. She had no idea how tempting she was. Or how hard he had to fight himself against the pull. He felt his eyes shading to black as his baser nature edged closer to the surface. He thought back to the dream where he didn't have to resist at all. How consuming had it felt to give in to her? The bed felt cold when he awoke without her and no quickie with Persephone would assuage his loneliness.

Angel was traumatized, vulnerable, and scared. There were many among the gods who would circle her like a wolf to a deer. Zeus seemed particularly interested himself. As much as he loved his brother, his morals fell far below the bar. But he couldn't let himself take advantage of her. Wouldn't. She needed a safe place and he needed to remember who he was. Hades, king of hell didn't fall in love. He didn't give people leverage over him. He wasn't soft. He pressed his fingers against his temple. He needed to prepare himself for the eventual loveless marriage of his future, most likely to Persephone, who he despised.

Once he avenged Angel, he would let her go, goddess or not, she wasn't his to own, though he wished with all of him that he could. That he could lock her there with him for none to see, but him. Even the thought of another on her skin made him furious. Shit. No, he wasn't avenging her, he was avenging his kingdom, which had been breached and disrespected. He was avenging himself. Stop letting her cloud your mind! He yelled at himself. He recognized that the attachment he felt wasn't good. He had to control himself, the same way she always seemed to control herself. Even in the face of everything she'd experienced. It amazed him.

He stormed toward his office, where he found Thia, Nyx and team one thoroughly consumed, papers scattered everywhere across the large table. They all looked up and bowed when he entered. Nyx sent him a particularly sweet smile as she smoothed her blouse down over her figure. He internally sighed. Why were they always so desperate for his attention?

"My king," Thia started, "On the subject of Angel, she is resting now and taking things as well as could be expected. The water did a number on her. But it looks like this past week she's expelled almost all of it." Hades seemed relieved. He shifted around to his desk and sat.

"But that's not why I'm here," she started again, looking at the others, "I know you all are searching for answers but I think there's a more pressing matter. What are we going to do when she starts to remember..." Everyone's eyes suddenly went to the ground as she whispered out the last part "her loop."

"We don't know how long it could take." Hades said without an ounce of emotion. Inside, however, he tensed. It scared him and he hated to feel weak.

"Yes but, not just the memories. What about when the feelings start to return? And she doesn't know why? I mean we've all seen what the loops do to souls. It's so traumatic its almost indescribable. She seemed fine today but what about in a few days? I just want it to be on our radar. We need to watch her for any changes in behavior."

"We don't even know what's normal for her," Zero mumbled. He wanted it to sound gruff but instead it sounded worried, his eyes pulled tightly, "how will we know what's out of place."

"I talked to her today. She's strong, a bit hard-headed but sincere. She's more open-minded than any human should be. You know I can see a person's nature. She's not naturally melancholy or easily depressed so if you see those signs, say something. We're all she has right now."

"Are you presuming to tell me what to do?" Hades asked coldly. He knew she hadn't been addressing him but the need to reassert how little the human meant to him, outweighed logic. He wasn't trying to prove it to them, he needed to prove it to himself.

"Oooof course not, my king," she bowed deeply, "I was merely offering a brief insight to the others. Do with that what you will." Then she abruptly turned but before she left she said, "And I haven't explained her transition yet but, based on my examination, I'd say she's just over a month away from completion. Right in line with the involution. Strange isn't it? Almost as if it were fate..." She knew they understood what she implied and they were silently coming to the same conclusion themselves. There was no way this was done without the help of the fates. Thia bowed again and left.