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Chapter 4

“People seem to believe that when you find your soul mate, the one person who completes you, that things will just be lollipops and sunshine. I hate to stomp on your tootsie rolls, but being the right person for your mate does not suddenly turn you into this giving, selfless, loving, gentle, and all that other crap person. You are still the person you were without them; the difference is now when you aren’t any of those good things, you have someone who will love you anyway.” ~ Jen

“Where are Fane and Jacque on this nice quiet evening?” Jen asked as she, Decebel, Sally, and Costin sat in the library. Jen’s feet were propped up in Decebel’s lap and he was absentmindedly rubbing them. Sally and Costin were on the couch across from them and Costin lay with his head in Sally’s lap while she ran her fingers through his hair. Both couples had inadvertently wound up in the library together. Now seemed like the perfect time to plan an intervention for their best friend and her wolf.

“I think they decided to go to bed early after the meeting,” Sally answered.

Jen let out a hard breath as she pulled her feet from Decebel’s lap and sat up on the couch. Her baby bump was still small enough that she could lean forward and put her elbows on her knees.

“I would love to take that statement and turn it into some graphic sex talk that would make Sally blush, but the reality is, they probably just went to sleep.”

“What’s wrong with that?” Decebel’s deep voice rumbled from beside her.

Jen’s head turned slowly to look at her mate. The look she gave him could have burned a hole through a brick building. “Did you seriously just ask me that?”

Decebel didn’t say anything. He just sat there meeting her stare.

“When have we ever just gone to…,” she was cut off by a growl from her mate.

“Jennifer stop,” Decebel’s voice was tight with irritation.

A smile spread across Jen’s face and nothing in that smile was friendly.

“You’re right Dec I should stop. That’s a dumb question for me to ask since the answer is every night for the past two weeks.”

Decebel stood up abruptly and his power radiated throughout the room. “Why are you always discussing the details of our sex life in front of every person we know? Have you ever thought that maybe I don’t want you to discuss it? Have you ever once considered how I might feel about it?” His voice was so deep that it vibrated in Jen’s chest.

Jen stood from the couch slowly. Though she wasn’t huge, she still was getting used to having weight protruding from her stomach and she lost her balance a lot. She swayed slightly once on her feet and when Decebel reached out to steady her, she snarled at him and slapped his hand away. “Keep your damn hands off of me. That shouldn’t be too hard for you since it seems to be what you want anyway.”

After several heartbeats, she looked up at his face. She mentally prepared herself to stay calm. Just keep it together Jen, she told herself.

“You forget that I am in your mind B. I am a constant shadow and I know how you feel and what you think,” she paused and gritted her teeth to keep from crying. Damn pregnancy hormones. “That is until now. So now that I can’t see what’s going on inside of you, I have to draw my own conclusion as to what has suddenly made you act like a pissed-off four-year-old whose ice cream has just splattered to the ground. And I’ve concluded that I must not be doing it for you anymore.”

She took a step closer to him and reached up to poke him in the chest. “How I figure it, Decebel is that as long as I’m raving about how amazing you are so you can puff up like a proud peacock..., holy crap that’s a good one,” she said with a tone of regret in her voice, but then shook it off and jumped right back into her tirade. “As long as you look like a freaking sex god, a mind-blowing fantasy for women everywhere, then you don’t mind me spouting off to everyone who will listen. But as soon as you start to lag in that area, as soon as your ability is put to question, then you are suddenly uncomfortable with your hot mate discussing the now sore issue.”

The room was wrapped in silence but the residue of Jen’s words rung out loud and clear. Jen stood there waiting for her mate’s response. Waiting to see if he would contradict her, yell at her, or decide to throw her over his shoulder and prove her wrong. She was hoping for that last outcome. She might as well have been hoping for the Fates to suddenly appear and say you got punked; you can keep your kid.

“You should go to bed Jennifer. I imagine you’re tired after your fit.” His jaw was so tense that it sounded as if the words had to be pulled from his throat.

Sally’s mouth dropped open as she stared up at Decebel and then looked at Jen. She pushed on Costin to sit up and then stood, about to take a step toward her friend, but Costin’s arm snaked around her waist and pulled her back to his chest.

“Not a good idea,” he whispered in her ear. She nodded, though it frustrated her that they had to tiptoe around the males when they went into possessive, butthead mode.

Jen closed her eyes and counted to ten. That didn’t help so she tried counting to fifteen. Nope, that didn’t help either so she just gave up and gave into her fury.

“You’re right, Dec. I need to go lie down.” Her voice was deceptively sweet as she stepped around him giving him a wide berth so as not to touch him.

“I will be there shortly,” he told her gruffly.

Jen stopped and turned slightly so she could see him, but it was more for his benefit so that he could see her. She wanted to make this very clear for him.

“I don’t know how they did things back when you were not over a hundred years old, but I know how we do things now. After the way you have just treated me, the chances of you getting near me, let alone while I’m in our bed, are about as likely as Peri putting on a tutu and pretending to be a fairy godmother. And if that doesn’t make it clear then this should. If you value any of your body parts you will stay away.”

Decebel didn’t try to stop her when she turned and walked briskly from the room. He didn’t know what to say to fix what he had royally screwed up, so he decided to let her go so she could cool off. She would be more reasonable after she had calmed down.

“Decebel what aren’t you telling her?” Sally spoke up breaking the silence that had descended once Jen left.

He looked over at the healer and he knew she saw past his walls, past the façade that he had put in place to make it appear that everything was okay.

“Some things are better left in the dark,” he told her gently.

Sally shook her head. “You know that isn’t true. We can’t see in the dark. There is nothing to light the way, so we stumble. We grope around hoping to find our way safe and sound. But there is nothing to grasp onto, and in the dark, we can’t see those who could help us.” Sally stepped out of Costin’s hold and walked directly in front of Decebel. Her eyes were filled with compassion and the need to help the wolves that were in her pack. But she could tell that Decebel was beyond help. “Nothing is ever better in the dark, Alpha. Darkness is for those who have lost their way. They have traveled off the road that they should take and the darkness wraps around them, pulling them in with false promises.” she paused again maintaining eye contact, which for all others, except a select few, would be impossible. Sally took a deep breath before she continued. “Now you listen to me, Decebel, Alpha of the Serbian pack, mate to Jennifer. You are pack, and because of that, the darkness cannot have you. You belong to us, and you know better than anyone that we do not give up what is ours.”

Decebel watched in stunned silence as Costin took Sally’s hand and lead her from the room. He gave Decebel a brief show of his neck and then left.

“Well, that’s a first,” Decebel said into the now empty room. “I’ve been put in my place by a gypsy healer.” He let out a low, weary chuckle that quickly faded away when he thought about the darkness that he was indeed walking into. He couldn’t tell Sally that his darkness was unavoidable because his daughter’s life was on the line. For that precious life, the life that his beautiful wife now carried, he would run with everything he had into the darkness without hesitation.

Lilly stood just inside the entrance to the mountain. She still wasn’t used to the magic. From her vantage point, she saw only a normal foyer and front door. But anyone passing by on the outside would only see a mountain, rocks, earth, and shrubs. She refused to admit to herself that she was going to miss this place, though she had only spent a short time here. But in truth, it felt like home, or maybe it was just because Cypher was here and that made it her home. She ran a hand across her face as she fought against the tears that had been relentlessly trying to escape her eyes. Crying wouldn’t do any good. It wouldn’t change anything and it would only make her look like a weak ninny. So instead, she stood rigid, trying to appear nonchalant while she waited for Peri to arrive.

She had been relieved when Cypher had told her that Peri would be escorting her to the airport. But the relief was overshadowed by the fact that Cypher didn’t plan on going with her himself. But then again, what had she expected? The man was kicking her out. Why on earth would she want him to wave to her as she boarded the plane? Oh, I don’t know, Lilly, maybe because you love him and want him to see you at the airport and realize he is making the biggest mistake of his life. Then, in the last moment, he would run to make the plane stop and board it to beg you not to go. Lilly groaned at her inner dialogue and pathetic scenario, which she thought must actually be from some sappy romantic comedy she had watched. She had to get a grip, and what better way to do that than by being distracted by an eccentric, ancient, and quite dramatic, fae?

“All right,” Peri nearly yelled as she suddenly appeared out of thin air beside Lilly who, for her part, yelped and jumped into the air.

“I hear you have been evicted and must vacate the premises immediately.” Peri didn’t acknowledge Lilly’s jumpiness. Instead, the fae just looked at her as if she hadn’t just nearly given Lilly a heart attack while simultaneously reminding her that she was being kicked out of her man’s house, or in this case, mountain castle, which she loved.

“Thanks for that, Perizada. I’m glad that you reminded me that Cypher has decided to send me home, because I sort of forgot, even though I’m standing here in the freaking foyer with my packed bags.”

“Okay, note to self, the human is touchy about the eviction topic,” Peri said absently as she picked up Lilly’s bags. “Alright, have you said your goodbyes? Have you done all the ranting you require? Have you shredded all his sheets and burned the curtains? I saw that in a movie once and it seemed therapeutic.”

“Can we just go?” Lilly said as her shoulders slumped forward, her eyes devoid of their usual spunk.

“Grab my sleeve please, and try not to puke.”

Lilly closed her eyes, expecting there to be some sort of flash or rush of air. But instead, there was nothing and then when she opened her eyes she was no longer in the foyer of Cypher’s home.

“Uh, Peri, I thought Cypher told you to take me to the airport,” Lilly said slowly as she looked around.

“You must not know me very well if you think that I always do what those bossy, arrogant supernatural men tell me to do. I mean, where would the fun in that be?”

“That sounds like something Jen would say,” Lilly smiled.

“Well if she does, it’s because she learned it from me.” Peri’s voice was full of her usual haughtiness.

“Whatever you say, Peri fairy.”

“I’m going to let that slide since your boyfriend just gave you the boot. Now, come on, let's go find your offspring and her cronies.”

Decebel knocked on Dr. Cynthia Steele’s door. He had debated for half an hour whether or not he should speak with her about his dilemma and finally decided that it was the best option he had. He wasn’t sure how Cynthia was going to respond to his admission, but he knew that as her Alpha he could command her to keep her silence if need be.

The door opened and Cynthia’s eyes widened in surprise.

“Decebel,” she said carefully, “is Jen alright? Do you need me to come and check on her?”

Decebel shook his head. “She is fine. I’ve come here to speak to you about something that has to do with me,” he paused and then amended, “well it has to do with both myself and my mate, but I do not want her to know that I have come to see you. I also must insist that everything that is said in this room tonight stays between you and me. Is that clear?”

Cynthia nodded as she stepped aside so that he could enter.

“What can I do for you,” she asked as she motioned him to a chair, which he did not take.

Decebel rubbed the back of his neck and Cynthia noticed then that his face was lined with worry and his eyes a little brighter than she liked. She waited patiently, not wanting to provoke an already agitated Alpha.

“I need something to keep Jennifer from being able to enter my mind while I sleep.”

Out of all the things that she thought he would say, that was definitely not one of them.

“I don’t know of any sort of human medicine that would do that, Alpha. Why haven’t you sought out Rachel or Sally?” Cynthia attempted to keep her voice as calm and clinical as possible.

“This is something that I cannot trust them with. Their loyalty to my mate will overrule their loyalty to me.”

“What about Peri?” she asked.

Decebel’s jaw clenched. As he breathed out, the air forced through his gritted teeth made an eerie snake-like sound. “Do you really think I can trust a fae who would rather skin us males than look at us?”

Cynthia nodded. “Good point.”

They were both quiet for several minutes. Cynthia wracked her brain for some way to help Decebel. He was obviously very distressed about something and if it had to do with Jen then he would be relentless until he found a solution. Then it hit her. She grabbed her cell phone and began texting quickly. She thanked the Great Luna that all of the females in their group had exchanged numbers.

“What are you doing?” he growled.

Cynthia held up a finger and hoped that he wouldn’t bite it off. She pressed the send button and then looked up at him.

“I realize that whatever it is that you are dealing with is sensitive and private. The person I just asked to come can be trusted. Please trust me.”

Decebel could see the sincerity in the doctor’s eyes. Though he didn’t really want to trust her, what other choice did he have?

“Fine.”

Just as the word was out of his lips, Elle appeared next to Cynthia. She glanced from Cynthia to Decebel and huffed. “This is going to be bad isn’t it?” she asked.

Decebel looked at Cynthia with tight lips and a raised brow. It was very much a look that said what the hell doc?

“You say I can trust her?”

Cynthia nodded and then looked at Elle.

“Elle, now would be the time to reassure the obviously upset Alpha that he can trust you so that he doesn’t make you a snack before dinner.”

Elle let out a quick breath. “Right, um, you can trust me, Decebel.”

“No matter what I tell you? You cannot share it with Sorin.” He narrowed his eyes at her and took a step forward.

To Elle’s credit, she did not back away.

“Yes, no matter what you tell me. And I won’t tell Sorin anything that you do not want me to. I’m capable of keeping my thoughts guarded.”

He told Elle the same thing he had told Cynthia and then waited for the fae’s response.

“I can put a block in your mind that will be triggered as you relax into sleep. Unfortunately, Jen will be able to tell that it’s there. There is nothing I can do to prevent that.”

Decebel would have preferred she make it appears as if his mind was just blank as he slept so that Jennifer wouldn’t think there was anything wrong, but at this point, she knew something was up and as much as he hated it, this was his only option.

“Fine,” he told her gruffly. “Do what you must.”

Elle stepped toward him slowly as if approaching a beast that could rip her to pieces in a matter of seconds. She cringed inwardly as she realized that was exactly what she was doing; only the beast was an alpha Canis lupus.

“I have to touch your head,” she told him as she raised her arms.

Decebel knelt down so that she could reach him. She placed her hands on either side of his head and began to speak in a language that he didn’t understand. He felt warmth radiating from her skin and his scalp tingled. Then it was gone, as well as her hands.

“That’s it?” he asked.

Elle nodded.

“Why does everything with the fae seem so anticlimactic?” Cynthia asked absently.

Elle smiled. “Peri likes to make a show of it, but the theatrics are more for intimidation rather than necessity.”

“For some reason, that doesn’t surprise me,” Decebel said dryly.

Elle smirked. “Well can you blame her? She’s older than the seventh layer of the earth. She has to get her kicks somehow.”

After reiterating several times to Elle and Cynthia that they were to keep silent, he left them and headed toward the indoor garden. It was the only place he knew to go to find solitude and privacy. He walked all the way to the back and took a small amount of something akin to peace from the rippling of the indoor creek and trickling sound the water made as it flowed over the rocks. Life seemed simple in here surrounded by nature, no matter that it was created by man rather than out in the open somewhere. His wolf longed for the forest, the smells of the earth, trees, and water. He longed to run with his mate alongside him, playing with him as they had done so many times. He forced himself to push those memories aside and to focus on the present.

He knelt when he reached the farthest corner of the garden and closed his eyes. His mind reached out to their Creator and he prayed she would hear him.

“Why is it that you insist on worrying that I will not come when you call?” The Great Luna sat before him on the steps that led up to the gazebo where a swing hung silently.

“I suppose that I feel very insignificant in this large world and imagine that you must have more important things to do,” Decebel admitted.

She smiled gently at him. “Well, there is nothing more important than one of my own seeking me out. It takes great strength to kneel and ask another for help, to know that you cannot do it on your own, and I never intended for you to.”

“Thank you,” Decebel told her and the words felt dry in his mouth as he knew they did not convey the gratefulness that he felt.

“I have some questions,” he paused and waited.

She nodded for him to go on.

“When will the bond be broken?”

He noticed that her eyes grew sad as she watched him. “It cannot be undone all at once. If I were to take the bond away immediately it could kill you both as you are of one soul. It must be done slowly, gradually, and even then it will be painful for you both.”

“Is there anything that will make it easier on her?” Decebel felt his wolf fighting him, the wolf did not agree with what the man was doing. His wolf was convinced that they could find another way to save their pup.

“Physical distance between you would help. As you know, you crave each other’s presence and touch. It makes the bond stronger.”

Decebel’s head fell forward as her words wrapped his heart in an icy cold embrace. The idea of not being with his mate, especially if these were his last months with her, made him sick and angry at the same time. He didn’t know how he would leave her. How could he? She would more than likely kill him if he told her he would need to be away from her. And what excuse could he possibly give her?

“Alpha, are you sure this is what you want?” The Great Luna met his eyes and the care and empathy he saw there comforted him briefly.

“Can’t you do something?” he asked and the words came out through a deep growl that he could not control.

“I have given you all free will. I do not force my own desires and will upon you, making you mindless robots. It is because of that free will that you sometimes choose things with consequences that are difficult to bear. Jennifer was offered a way out of death, a death that was meant to happen. And because of that, there are consequences. She will face the consequences of her choice in one form or another. Don’t mistake my words for uncaring. It breaks my heart to see my children hurt. It pulls from me the deepest of grief and I mourn with you.” She stood up and walked over to him and placed a hand on his shoulder. He felt peace rush through him and let out a slow breath.

“Death is a part of life, child. I did not create you to be immortal, even though I gave you long lives. Jennifer was to come home to be with me, and she chose not to. She went against the laws of nature. The Fates are the ones who watch over all supernaturals, not just my wolves. They keep the balance and even I cannot interfere with that balance. If you are still sure that this is what you want, then it will begin tonight. She is in her second trimester of the pregnancy. It will take the rest of that time to fully eliminate the bond between you. And do not worry about how you will put distance between you. There is an opportunity coming.”

Decebel’s stomach tightened at this information. When he started to ask her what she meant, she was already gone.

As he started to stand, he felt as though the weight of the world was now draped across his shoulders and he saw no way to be rid of it. He turned to leave the quiet peace of the garden, and just as he reached the door, he grabbed onto the frame as he stumbled. He felt a sharp pain rip through him and then it was gone. But left in its place was what felt like a small tear in whatever seam held him together. He closed his eyes, searching for Jennifer, needing to know if she was okay. He found her in their bedroom. Her face was pale and Sally was helping her sit down. He clenched his jaw as he thought about how it should be him helping her. It should be his arms around her, checking on her and comforting her. She looked so confused and scared.

It had begun, just as the Great Luna had promised, their bond was being broken—the bond that had saved him from darkness was now being taken from him and it was of his own doing.

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