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Women Just Want One Thing

After the pick-up game at the basketball courts, the brothers headed home in Eric’s Range Rover. Being the older, wiser and more experienced of the two he decided it was time to shine light on the truth about women and their nature.

Alex was young and inexperienced, and that player-groupie set of women clearly had one thing on their mind. He overheard the trio talking crudely about the players on the court, including Alex. He had opted to ignore them but when that rude young woman brought him into their conversations and not in a flattering way, he’d had enough. Maybe no one had ever pointed out how rude they were being, but he tasked himself the job.

Unfortunately, it had been the newcomer of the pack that bore the brunt of his anger because she was the one that stayed to try and mediate the situation after the original trio stepped away. She was very attractive, but he knew her beauty was only on the surface. Beneath her skin she was destined to be just as one-dimensional as her friends.

Eric gave a quick look towards his brother who was busy typing away on his phone with a big smile on his face.

A smile that big could only mean one thing.

“You already sent her a message?” Eric asked incredulously, turning his SUV in the direction of home. “You’re going to come across as desperate." he saw his brother shrug through his peripheral vision.

“So what? I like her and she likes me.” He said defensively. “Why am I going to waste any time playing hard-to-get when I have to go back to university in a few weeks.”

Eric shook his head. “I’d rather you not get involved with that one,” he tapped Alex’s phone, “or any of her friends for that matter.”

Alex pulled his phone away to where Eric couldn’t reach it.

“You don’t even know them.”

Eric huffed. “I know their type. They’re just after what you have in your pants, don’t mistake that for love.” He shook his head. “They’re not the ones that get stuck with the repercussions after a night of wild sex. They’re not going to care about what happens to you after they’ve had their fun.”

When Eric glanced at his brother, Alex was rolling his eyes.

“What’s the worst that can happen? We have sex and that’s the end of the story?”

“Just be smart.” Eric advised, maintaining his eyes on the road. “You may not see this but you’re living through an impressionable age. One false sense of hope can really do permanent emotional damage. If you want a relationship, find someone with similar goals, who’s not in a hurry to get tied down but has no interest in one-night stands, either. Maybe wait until you’re back at university.”

Alex clearly ignored the nuggets of wisdom his brother imparted and kept typing away with a foolish grin.

Eric pulled into his driveway shutting off the engine. He turned to his brother to continue guiding him but Alex exited the vehicle and made a fast dash towards the house immediately.

Eric quickly opened the driver’s side door and yelled out after his brother, “Don’t think we’re done talking about this.” He stepped out of his vehicle, staring in the direction Alex took. He pulled out his phone from the back pocket of his jeans, dialing his mom’s number.

“Great timing, son. Your father and I just finished a Saturday morning marathon-sex session and boy did we need a break from each other to eat, and I don’t mean each other, if you catch my drift.”

“Don’t make me regret calling you.” He uttered with disgust.

He heard her laughing on the other end. “Tom! Eric’s pretending to be an ingenue again!”

She yelled into the receiver. “Oh, honey. I’m very well aware of when you lost your virginity. I also have the password to your healthcare portal. I see every time you get tested for sexually transmitted infections.”

Eric gasped. “Mom, you’re breaking the law. That’s my information, and since I am over the age of eighteen, you have no right to look at my health records without my consent.”

“Tut tut tut, if you didn’t want me to have access to your health, you should have changed your password when you turned eighteen.”

She had a point there.

“Why are you looking into my healthcare portal anyway. If there’s something you need to know about, I’ll tell you.” Eric walked into his home, straight to his office to change the password to the aforementioned portal.

“I want grandkids.” She said without beating around the bush. “I keep logging in, hoping to see positive results of a nesting test but instead I have to come to terms with the fact you’re more likely to bring home a sexually transmitted disease before you bring home a baby.”

That is when Eric found his perfect window to divert the attention from him ... and to Alex. “Actually, I wanted to talk to you about Alex. I need your parenting guidance on how to keep his mind on his studies and away from sex.”

After more laughter on the other end, “Alex isn’t nearly as sexually alert as you were at that age. You're worried over nothing.”

Eric scratched his head. “I don’t think that’s the case anymore, mom.”

“This call isn’t about Alex, my boy. It’s about you.” She sighed. "So, let's talk about you. Have you met any interesting young ladies you'd like to slide your penis into on a normal basis?"

Eric cringed. “What?! No! This call was always about Alex. Maybe I should send him to you for the remainder of his winter break.” He heard suckling sounds on the other end of the phone.

“Oh! Mmmmm-Mr. Mmmm-Morgan! Again? Oh! You surprise me! Oh! Ohhhh!!!!!”

Realizing the “Mr. Morgan” in question was his dad, Eric unceremoniously disconnected the phone as fast as he could, a little bit disgusted at being an unwilling spectator to his parents’s sex-life.

“Alex!” He yelled out to his brother. “Have you changed your healthcare portal password?”

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