Chapter 6
Today is the day it's time to put my family 6 feet under the ground. As I get my black dress out of the bag, I hang it up. I look at it as tears start to feel my eyes this is my funeral dress never thinking I would be wearing it to bury my family. I decide to get a shower I turn the water on letting it warm as I take my clothes off I look into the mirror the bruises from the accident where all fading like it never happened. I'm so angry I let a scream of fury I just drop to the floor bring my knees to my chest trying to comfort myself as I cry.
I watch as the bathroom fills up with steam from the hot water in the shower. Forcing myself to get up and get in the shower, telling myself I stink I need to shower. As the hot water is burning my skin, I don't budge, wanting to feel anything but what I'm feeling right now. It almost feels like a relief to me, I can feel the burning is all over me. I just relax as I clean myself, getting angry that the water is turning cold. I shut it off and get out I look in the mirror see my skin looking red not giving a shit that it stings. I go to grab my dress slipping over my body as I stare at myself in the mirror I hate the way I look I can't do this I can't handle this I don't want too. I transfer in to my wolf tearing the dress apart and take off through the woods not stopping not being able to stop all my grief has taken over me, I can't come out from it, I'm stuck in this life I'm so unsure of everything, so I just run.
I feel so ashamed not going to the funeral I know people are going to talk, but I don't care. I was never much for funerals especially now it being my family I just can't. I can't bare seeing them lying in a casket, I don't want that to be my last memory of them. I know that my family would expect me to move on and live the best life possible. I am just hoping in time I will be able to just live not wanting to die. If it wouldn't be for my family being so disappointed in me for killing myself, I probably I already would have done so. I always ask myself why let me live and take them away.
Is my purpose just a beeder for the Alpha is that why I lived. It's crazy that he will be the Alpha of the pack I've been in my entire life, I have never met him until that day. I guess he just became alpha a couple of years ago when his father passed it over to him, but I still never met him. I know he has to be older, he didn't go to our school. So, why was he there if I never wouldn't have met him my fate would have been the same as my families he would have never cared to save me? I hate him for saving me and not letting perish with the ones I have loved.
I have been running for hours before I began to get so tired that my body just collapses. As I change back into my human and lay there naked, not caring if anyone sees me. It's so cold feeling the rain hitting my body. As I began to shiver and shake from the cold, I start to fall asleep hoping this time I don't wake up. I don't get to sleep long until I feel someone shaking, asking me if I'm OK. I shrug them off me, not wanting them to touch me.
They back away from me “I'm not going to hurt you I just wanted to make sure you were ok.”
I don't respond, I just shift into my wolf and take off searching for somewhere else where I wouldn't be found, so I could have peace. I get to the top of wicked falls I shift back to my human walk up to the edge just wanting to jump I then hear a shuffle of sticks I look it's the man from before.
“Look I'm the Beta my name Sam I am to watch over you if you jump then the Alpha will have my head so come on let's not do this.”
Knowing I'm not going to jump and not caring that he is looking over my naked body. I just sit down on the edge to rest, wishing things were different. Wondering why the hell I have a babysitter. Really, just wanting to be alone and not having someone watch my every move would be nice. I don't need anyone to try to protect me, I will be fine. If something would happen to me, it really wouldn't be the worse thing to happen. There is know one left that loves me, there wouldn't even be a person who would affect. The Alpha could enjoy his life with his girlfriend, not having to worry about his pathetic mate interfering with his relationship.
“Can you please just listen to me and get away from the edge, I really don't want you to get hurt.”
I rule my eyes, not caring about what he says. Wishing would just leave. I then shift into my wolf him still his human form I lot out a growl of anger. Trying to warn him to just leave me to be miserable alone.
“Wow your wolf is beautiful I have never seen all a silver wolf before you're one of a kind. You can't hide the pain your in I can see it through your eyes I can be your friend.”
I don't even know why he has to be here as jump over him, I run as fast as I can which really isn't all that fast I am too tired my body is getting weak I ran myself ragged. All I want to be alone, but there is someone everywhere I go. Next thing know is I'm being tackled I look to see who it is it's a large black wolf twice my size. I don't react, I just try to fight him off me so can continue to run. He is too strong I can't escape him not being able to escape his grip terrifies me. I then hear a voice he is our mate. Our mate doesn't want us, he only wants us for breeding purposes. That's not what his wolf wants, he won't allow anything to happen to you. He doesn't care about us, so don't get your hopes up. By the way, I'm Star your wolf you're not alone you have me we will get through this together. Not realizing I passed out I am being carried bridal style, his hand on my body comforts me makes me feel stronger. I'm so tired I just let him carry me to what I believe my cabin, so I can rest would be nice, I close my eyes and draft back to sleep.