Arduous
Night is yet to welcome day. There is barely any light outside, but I am wide awake. Running around his territory, warming up my body. Today is the day I have to prove myself to my so-called mate. It is not the fact that I am nervous or anxious as to why I feel upset, but that I have to prove myself. That I have to tear myself apart piece by piece to show him my worthiness to rule by his side.
All my life I had to fight, thinking there might be an end to it. Perhaps when I take my throne or even when I find my gift from the moon. But I guess my destiny is always to fight. I fought for survival, now I fight for acceptance. Acceptance from him.
I stop in my tracks all thoughts swirling in my mind flies, his scent overtakes my body. My mind growing hazy. Eyes searching, legs trying to take me to him. Hands itching to hold him, skin wanting to feel his warmth. It's a battle between mind, body and heart. A war I can't seem to walk away from, a war I can't win.
I watch him, the flex of his muscles to every stretch of his bones. Sweat dripping from his chest, downwards to his sculpted stomach. Every bob of his Adam's apple to the gulps of water he swallows. His jaw clenches, hands turning to fists. He feels the heat of my gaze on him. Eyes meet, my breath hitches the bond flaring to life between us. How can he fight this? Why does he wish to do so? I don't understand.
I take uneasy steps towards him, his eyes looking to my feet catching my movement however, I halt once more. A female walks up to him, smiling with red shy cheeks. Handing him a towel, to which he takes sparking a conversation between them. She slowly puts a strand of hair behind her ear, biting her lip. She desires him. Has he had her before? Has he tasted her?
I get my answer when his eyes meet mine once again. He answers my question with those eyes of his. The thorns around my heart dig deeper, tears wanting to be released from the hold I have on them, legs shake from the weight of my heart. I look at her, memorizing her features. She will be the first I destroy. My wolf agrees. Choices bring consequences.
Finding her, she is already looking at me. Disgust for me evident in her eyes. Hatred consuming her. Cracking my knuckles, licking my teeth I smirk. Today will mark the day of her death. My wolf will take pleasure in spilling her blood. Deimos walks to the centre of the field. "Today, each one of you will fight an opponent. You may choose who you wish to fight, put all your training and hard work into it. Make me proud." Wolves puff up wanting to show their Alpha their strength.
"Who wishes to go first?" Deimos questions, eyes looking from one wolf to another.
"Me." My voice booms across the field. No hesitation. "That female shall be my opponent." I point to her. I want her blood.
Deimos grows nervous. Good, I want that. "Do you accept, Nadia?" Deimos looks at her.
So, Nadia is her name. Did he scream her name when she took his thrusts? Did he call her name as a lover would? This just fuels my anger. This will be the last time he will speak her name, I will make sure of it. The female looks from him to me, determination in her eyes. She wishes to take my place. I laugh quietly. Not even in her dreams will she be able to acquire that.
"Yes, Alpha. I accept." Her voice doesn't waver, she's strong. Pity, she won't be able to see tomorrow's sunrise.
"Then let it begin," Deimos commands as he sits down on his chair. All the wolves around us curious about the outcome. Curious to see the strength I possess. I look at my male, smiling. His eyes widen. My smile not meant for him, but his wolf. For I will make my promise to him come true. My victory.
The female and I circle each other staring at one another. Feet bare, the snow beneath me making it numb. She attacks first, trying to knock me down kicking my legs. I catch her by her knee pushing her back, her steps falter. She attacks again swinging her fists to get a blow on my face. This female try's to fight without thinking.
I dodge it, grabbing her forearm twisting it behind her back, putting pressure breaking it. She screams, banging her head backwards breaking my nose. Struggling from my grasp, she circles me again. This is a waste of time and my stomach demands food, I need to end this now. She begins running at me at full speed, grabbing her by the neck lifting her into the air, I smash her body to the ground shattering her backbone. She struggles to breathe.
I laugh. "Aren't you a pup? Your moves are that of a juvenile." I question her. Her cheeks flushing red with anger. "I wasn't a pup when your mate thrust deep inside me, screaming my name, filling my warmth with his se.." I look straight into the eyes of Deimos, crushing her neck before she could finish the sentence. Her mouth wide open, life draining from her eyes. "I pray the moon won't take you into her gates, as you took what was meant to be mine," I whisper to her. Deimos just quietly watches without speaking a word.
Turning to all the females who are present at the field, I scream to them. "Anyone else who wishes to take my rightful place at his right, fight me here and now but know this, I shall send you straight to the moon." Only silence answers me with occasional whimpers. They fear me. Good, I did what I wanted to.
Blood still drips down my broken nose, wiping it with my sleeve. My wolf is happy as she looks at the female's blood coating the white blankets of snow on the ground. This is our victory. We won.
My feet take me to Deimos, his hands clench the handles of the chair. I lean towards his ear, he shivers to my closeness. I whisper, "Perhaps you do not wish for me to be yours but know this, I do not share."
I walk away from the field, back to the castle desperate for a shower and food. Feeling the warm water on my body, heating it. Steam covers vision, closing my eyes I keep thinking back to what the female told me before she died. How many times did he take her? Was she meant to be Luna if he didn't find me? Did he want her to birth to his pups?
My thoughts are interrupted when I feel him behind me. I don't run, scream or cower from him. I am no shy wolf, we belong to each other so being naked in front of him is not a big problem. He can look at my flesh all he wants. I keep my eyes closed not wanting to see him. I feel him slowly reach around me, grabbing the soap and washing me. He turns me around facing him. I still don't open my eyes keeping my head down.
"Look at me." He whispers to me.
I open my eyes looking straight into his. Can he see my pain? Can he see what he does to me? He continues washing me, keeping his eyes on mine. I look down at his body, his cock hard and straining wanting release. At least he physically wants me. I look back at his face. His jaw is clenched, teeth grinding, eyes darkening. He is trying his best not to take me right here and now.
"Did you have to kill her, mate?" He asks me washing my hair.
"Yes, she had what was mine knowing it didn't belong to her," I answer back.
"I never gave you permission to kill her, you were only supposed to fight."
"What about you Deimos? What would you do if I slept with a male and you smelt him all over me?"
"I will rip him piece by piece and watch him bleed to death." He replies calmly.
"So, her death is justified," I tell him looking into his eyes. Giving me a single nod he turns me around my back facing his front. Now we are aware of each other's bodies. I feel his gaze on my body as he washes my flesh. I want more. I walk backwards closer to him making sure our bodies are touching each other and slowly arch my back rising my ass into the air. The steam increasing the heat between us. His hands stop washing dropping the soap. His fingers grasp my hips bringing my ass to his cock, nesting it between my ass cheeks. We moan together, we both wanted... no.. needed this. He leans forward biting my ear.
"Are you teasing me mate?" His voice husky, he questions me. I moan loudly as his breath, voice and the feel of his length makes my core wet. My breath comes out in puffs trying to breathe through the heat. He thrusts his cock onto my hips, grinding, flexing his hips. Moaning he whispers into my ear. "You make me crazy mate, your smell, your touch is so irresistible. You make it very hard to fight you."
I turn around looking at him. Both of our faces close, just a little more further our lips will touch. I can taste his mouth. I wonder what he tastes like. I know he has the same thoughts as he looks at my lips and back to my eyes. We slowly lean in our mouths itching for a taste. "Why must you fight me Deimos? Why fight what we could have?" I question him eager for an answer. He moves back, away from me.
"Finish up and come out." His voice cold walls up once again.
One step forward, a hundred steps back. He leaves without answering my question for he knows his answer will kill me. A sob leaves my mouth, tears streaming down my face. Is this how my life is going to be? Is this how I must live? What of my dreams? Wrapping a towel around my body, entering the bedroom I see Deimos sitting on the bed with his arms on his knees. I feel his gaze on me as I enter the closet to dress but I spare him not even a single glance. He knows I cried, he knows my pain yet he offers me no apology. No comfort. I look towards him once I am finally done.
"Why are you still here?" I question him, making his nostrils flare. He walks up to me in one stride holding my jaw tight in his hands.
"Do not question me. I can do whatever I please." He snarls it out to me. He takes a deep breath to calm himself down. "Come." He says, that single word having a huge effect on me, making me follow him like a lost puppy. Going down the stairs, to the kitchen.
I sit on the stool by the counter as he heads to the stove to prepare food. Does he cook? That just increases my desire for him. No words are exchanged between us, just me watching his back muscles move to his every action. After a while, he places a plate with steaming food in front of me.
"Eat." He says. My eyes turn questioning, I look behind him searching for his plate.
"Are you not going to eat?" I ask him, my voice faltering.
"Don't misunderstand mate, everything that I did today with you was because of my wolf. I washed you and fed you to please him.” His voice is cold and harsh. With one last look, he walks away leaving me in this cold kitchen alone. I look around me, only silence to comfort the pain of my heart.
Trying to swallow food when your heart is tearing is arduous.