Chapter 3

The kids showered, and they were now getting ready to go to sleep. The number of people in the packhouse would sure make it difficult for them, so I made sure to stay in there reading them a book until each one of them fell asleep. Today was Sage's turn, so I read the book that he wanted; he chose an adventure comic book.

They fell asleep quicker than I expected, I put together tomorrow’s outfits, and I left, closing their door slowly to not wake them up. I step once again into the canteen; I look around, analyzing the number of new faces, and my eyes once again find their way to the Northern Alpha. I don’t know why I was behaving like this, he was attractive, but this wasn't the first good-looking person I had encountered, and even if that was the case, I hadn't spent that much time in a dungeon to be acting so recklessly. Why was I acting so weird around him? Must be the cleaning supplies.

I keep on walking; everyone seems like they have been served, so I start to grab my tray. I look at my Alpha and Luna, who give me a nod. I can eat. I start grabbing the food, now cold, but I’m already used to it, and I sit back down onto the same desk I was before. The canteen is made up of very long tables in the middle and small ones on the outside. I wasn't to be seating on the long tables as I wasn't to sit with anyone when I ate.

Nearly everyone has left, but I’m still there, finishing up my food. I only have my apple left, the best part of the dinner, but I don’t want to mix the cold chicken and spinach burger flavor that remains in my mouth with the apple, so I grab some water. The water tends to be perfect for me to take; however, due to a multitude of guests, the water is on the highest shelf. I stretch over to try and grab it, but I fail miserably. I look around, and there are only two tables left. They look way too focused on their conversation, and my Alpha and Luna have left, so I guess if I break something, I can make my way out of there fast enough.

I use one of the shelves, and I climb it; I don’t step on it for too long. I jump as high as I can, I get my hand on the shelf, but I’m incapable of grabbing the water bottle, only making it fall to its side but not off the shelf. A shadow casts on me, and the next thing I know, the Northern Alpha is handing me water with a smile. Is he laughing at me? As my face develops blush.

“You wanted this?” He asks with a grin, his voice is deep and rich, but his tone breaks it from being scary in this particular moment. My stomach flatters.

I nod, I grab it from his hand, stepping closer, yet he doesn't move a finger. I suddenly realize how close we are, but before I snatch the bottle from his hand, he quickly moves it away. “Next time, ask for some help,” he commands me; it’s more like he’s giving me advice, but it doesn’t feel like it. I quickly nod again, feeling too flustered to speak. He lets out a deep, low chuckle that makes me shiver and then hands me the water bottle. I take two steps back, making sure that there is sufficient space between the two for me to think clearly.

“Thanks,” I say, meeting his eyes; and for a moment, I forget, “Alpha.” He didn’t seem to mind that I forgot to address him as the Alpha he is, but I knew better than to fall prey to that. A lot of pain I endured in the past to think that it did not matter. Nonetheless, he just smiled and gave me a quick nod.

I curse myself as I gulp down the bottle of water, I make it to my table, and I sit down. While eating my apple, I glance over to the table of the Alpha every so often. Sometimes I catch him looking at me; other times, he catches me. I hope he doesn’t take that as insulting or challenging, that's the last thing I want.

There are five people at his table, their plates are empty, but they remain seated as they talk vividly. One of the men is surprisingly bulky, whereas another one is very lean. His body position seems like he’s hiding something. The other man is the Beta, and he’s more like his Alpha: he is bulky in a lean way. He has black hair so black it looks slightly blue and black eyes. The female I can’t quite see, but even from the back, she seems beautiful. I believe she’s the Beta’s mate as they touch each other every so often and it seems like they have some inside jokes that the rest of the group doesn’t quite get.

I finish quickly, I pick everything up, and I leave it to be cleaned by the maids. I get some snacks and water bottles to leave in the Alpha's room; they're still talking, so I doubt they'll go to their rooms yet. I enter his room, which now smells like him, snow and pine scent, clearly a Northerner. I place the food and beverages on the table, and I grab one of the notes and a pen. I write 'i hope you have a pleasant stay in Kylain,' and I finish it up with a happy face. I grab one of the chocolates and put it under one of the pillows. My mom used to always do that, and it always brought a smile to my face. I lean over the bed, trying to put the note right in the middle of the bed without touching the fluffy duvet as I shouldn't be here.

I hear someone clearing their throat. I jump, scared, and I quickly face the man that made the noise. Fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck. My heart starts beating against my chest hard, my hands shake, and I quickly hide them behind my back. "I believe this is my room," he points out calmly, his facial expression a mixture of a frown and a smirk.

I nod frantically, "um, yes. I'm so sorry, this morning I forgot to give you the water and snacks- I wasn't expecting you to come back this early- I was just leaving and uhm, if you need anything, don't be afraid to ask. I'm here to help," I say, now looking at the door, planning my escape. "Once again, I'm sorry, Alpha, this will never happen again," and I try not to touch him as I leave.

I change into some running gear, and I go for a long run. Running is the only time when my mind can relax when I can gather my thoughts and let my mind wander off. I stop thinking for a moment of my multiple interactions with the Northern Alpha, they've been too many, and all of them I've made a fool of myself. My pack already dislikes me and thinks of me as nothing more than that, a fool, but maybe that type of foolishness is not accepted in the North. They care about discipline and obedience, yet I've shown anything but that.

I hope he doesn't complain to Alpha Cassio about me; he has reasons too, probably too many. Perhaps as he's seen Alpha Cassio 'punish' me already, he doesn't find the need. Nonetheless, I like to think that he enjoys my foolishness. He never grunts or shows any sign of aggression or displease towards me- he usually smiles. Maybe it's my hormones talking, making me believe that he finds some entertaining in me, a small win for my body that has been aching for some action for some time.

I shake away those thoughts, and I hop into the shower. I change into my pajamas, and I go to sleep with my door open. If anyone comes downstairs, the light will wake me up.

My morning routine went like any other day apart from the fact that I felt slightly light-headed in the morning, and I had to sit down a few times as I was making the kids’ lunch.

"What's up with you, pretty face?" One of the maids asks mockingly, I dismiss her with a flick of the hand.

"She's too busy plotting a way to get into the Northern Alpha's bed," another one says, and it earns her a few laughs, "this time, don't push away the blame when it happens."

I mutter softly the lyrics of 'Under The Mountain'. Luckily for me, the light-headedness also affects my wolf, who isn't too faced by the insults. I wasn't to reply to those insults, never to defend her, never to defend myself. I had learned it the hard way.

Soon, the maids were all gone, getting ready for the day instead of trying to see how much more salt they could add to injury.

“Fuck me,” I say softly after realizing one long breath, damning every maid in this house, too consumed by my thoughts to realize that Sage is right in front of me, very energetic, while the rest struggle their way to me.

“Fuck me,” Sage repeats, and I quickly cover his mouth with my hand as my eyes go wide, “w-hu-d, das- da- mean?” He asks innocently.

“It means something very bad, so don’t say it, never again, okay?” I say looking him in the eyes, as serious as I can be.

“Then why do you say it?” He asks, I start cursing in my head.

I take a deep breath trying to come up with a good excuse, “I was very upset that I heard someone said it that I was thinking so much about it that it just slipped. I’m sorry you had to hear that," I grab him by his head and quickly hug him. I have to be more careful, these past two days, I've been too careless, "it’s horrible. Don’t ever ever ever say that, or you’re going to make me cry, okay?”

“Okay...” He says somewhat sad, I then grab him and push him on the couch, and I start to tickle him. Then Lotte, Cain, and Nova jump on top of me and start to tickle me, trying to help Sage escape.

“Run, Sage, run,” Nova shouts at him, her voice too soft and kind to wake anyone up.

Sage escapes, and they all start to attack me, I grab them one by one and try to separate them and get them to stop playfully, but they keep coming back. The room is full of laughs and little kids' joyful shouts. It would make anyone's heart warm-up, the way they stick their tongue out between laughs, too contagious for me not to laugh as well.

“Quick, quick, we can take the monster down!” Nova shouts again, she’s always been a bit of a leader.

“Mhm,” I hear someone clear his throat, and I pray to the Goddess that it’s not who I think it is. The kids don’t quite stop, but they are smart enough to sense that something is wrong from my face, the worry that it displays.

“Enough for today, okay?” I say, and they all quickly stop and sit down. I quickly comb my hair with my fingers, and I am met by the high commands, both from this pack and the North’s. I almost squint trying to let go of all the humiliation that suddenly fell on my shoulders. Alpha Cassio wears an extremely pissed look on his face. Fuck. Can you tell it's my favorite word? I wanted to hide, to run away as far away as I could from the humiliation and the sermon that was about to dawn on me.

“Your job is to fucking feed them, Aelin,” he shouts. I take a deep breath, trying my best not to flinch.

“Don’t swear please,” I answer. They’re just kids, they shouldn’t be listening to this. I already messed up with Sage today, let’s not make it worse.

“Aelin!” He threatens me, "who the fuck do you think you are to talk to me like that? You are nothing to them-"

“Guys, go get your bags and coats,” I commend them, and they quickly leave.

"The 'nice little family' you think you've made," he begins to mock me, "doesn't exist. Stop trying to earn their love, be thankful you're still alive, and you haven't lost this job yet," he threatens. "I wouldn't fuck up if I were you, I don't think you can handle losing more people because you can't control yourself." I open my mouth, he looks at me with daring eyes; he knows what my comeback would be, but things would end up ugly for me. I close it, I look down and take everything in, "you better start shutting up, misses. This isn't the place nor the time, but I would make your life fucking miserable if you dare do anything. Now go get those kids ready, 'cause if they're late," he begins, but I don't let him.

“They won’t be,” I say head down.

He wasn't wrong, but I'm so lonely. I miss my life, and every chance I get to feel any type of affection, I hold on to it for dear life, but those kids, they weren't mine. They would soon leave me to train and be their person, and they would forget about me. They would leave me just like she did.

“You better be right,” he says and then leaves. He goes into his office as the others follow. I look at the ceiling, and I close my eyes. I feel many gazes on me; I’m sure Alpha Cassio likes this, making sure they know he isn't afraid to lecture and if needed, punish those around him. He could be cold-hearted and determined like the Northern.

“Aelin, Aelin!” Sage comes running and quickly hugs me. Cain, Lotte, and Nova come rushing to hug me too. “Are you sad because he said,” he lowers his voice, “fuck?”

I look at him and I hug them all so tightly, I feel my eyes begin to water, “I told you not to say it!” I say with a smile fighting back the tears. They would leave me, they would forget me, but at this moment in time, I couldn't let that thought ruin me.

“I-I’m sorry,” he slowly says.

“It’s okay, but don’t say it,” I answer, and I separate them from me. “I just told Sage that Alpha Cassio said a bad word; he can say it because he’s an Alpha, but we can’t because it is such a horrible word. So don’t say the word that starts with f, okay?”

They all look at each other, nod, and then come to hug me, but I quickly run away, and I start to get their breakfast. “No more hugs, okay? Now it’s breakfast time, but we’ve got to be a bit quick today, okay?”

They all smile and sit down at the table. I make their bowls of cereals. They all eat faster than normal. I give them their lunch boxes and help them get their bags on; they hug me one by one, I wave them goodbye, and they get on the bus to school.