Chapter 3 - The Onyx Moon Pack
âRivers know this: there is no hurry. We shall get there some day.â â A.A. Milne
Neron
Three years ago, I never thought Iâd be in the position Iâm in today. Three years of laborious effort to ensure our survival; a direct result of Onyx Moon flourishing today. My pack. Instead of looking back with disdain and shame, I looked at my enormous family with pride and happiness.
Because I did that. I made it happen. After the strings of doubt plaguing me for those years, questioning my abilities, I could finally hold the keys to my new home and watch my members grow in number under my eyes.
Today, Onyx Moon was a prosperous community that continued to grow. Some old Zircon Moon pack members followed, but many departed to other territories. New wolves, seeking a new home, blended in seamlessly, and with my mother as acting Luna, she ensured that every family got the help and supplies they needed to settle in. As time went on, our Moon Goddess finally blessed us with the long-awaited peace weâve been praying for.
I wouldnât trade it for anything in the world.
The potent scent of maple wafted up to my nose as my car rolled down the streets from Portland to the pack grounds. Mellow music caressed my ears, tapping my finger against the steering wheel with the sunlight reflecting off my Alpha ring. The golden band encircled the large black onyx crystal, exposing a prism of rainbows hidden within. A symbol of my success.
It had been a long day of gathering supplies for my art class, and I was looking forward to a couple of hours of relaxation. Aside from my Alpha duties, I worked part-time as an art teacher to my pack disciples. Call it strange, but I found joy in teaching the younger folk about the pleasures of art and the history behind the greats, like Vincent Van Gogh. I still had a long way before I could become an actual teacher if I decide to take that path.
Two guards unlocked the double-gated doors once they spotted my car rolling in. Blurs of the maple trees filled my eyes, zipping past my peripherals. Sounds of pack activity graced my ears, picking out the laughter of children. My home opened in front of my eyes; the grand pack house standing in the center with smaller houses scattered around its infrastructure. Soldiers trained in the south, kids were playing in the east, adults shared conversations over tea and food in front of their homesâeverything that constituted a healthy pack was happening right before my eyes.
My heart unleashed a mighty beat. Itâs real. Itâs real. This wasnât a dream.
I rolled into the parking garage, exiting my car once I shut it off. Some members greeted me as I approached the front steps of my home with two statues of wolves on either side of the stairs. However, I was met with a different greeting when I nudged the door open.
And it came as a dramatic howl, and a wagging white and grey tail.
âHey, buddy!â I kneeled and petted my husky, Lupin, behind the ears. Lupin took the chance to assault my cheeks with his wet tongue. âAlright, thatâs enough. You better not have caused too much trouble while I was gone.â
Lupin barked in offense, stomping his front paws in a growl. Thereâs nothing that truly hits the mark of it being a wolf pack without a pet dog added to the mix. Rubbing his head one last time, I rose to my feet and walked through the grand foyer with the pup trailing behind me. The smell of my motherâs cooking graced my nose, my stomach roaring for sustenance. Before I could head inside the kitchen, Kwame walked by with a panicked look on his face, darting his head every which way.
âKwame?â He jumped, turning to me. âIs something the matter?â
âNeron, I didnât think youâd be back so soon.â Kwame laughed, toying with the ends of his dreadlocks. âSomething is the matter. Iâm looking for Naomi.â
âShe disappeared again?â His daughter liked to pull the vanishing act often. Causing her parentsâ heart attacks must be her favorite pastime. âShe couldnât have gone very far. Iâll help.â
âOh, no, you donât have to, bro. You just got back from the city.â
I laughed, patting his shoulder. âItâs no problem. Have you tried scoping out her scent?â
âYes, but sheâs awfully smart for a three-year-old. Naomi got her hands on the damn Anti-Spray.â
Lupin hopped around my feet, pawing at my leg like the attention-hog he was. âWeâll still find her. Maybe Lupin would have better luck.â
Kwame left to search for his daughter on the other side of the pack house while Lupin and I searched every broom closet and barren room. If I was a three-year-old, where would I hide? Somewhere Iâd think no one would find me. After coming up empty for the millionth time, I looked down at my husky, who hadnât left my side.
âTake me to the last spot you last saw Naomi, Lupin.â
Wagging his tail excitedly, Lupin took off, and I followed. He led me to the laundry room on the lower level. I thought my dog led me on a wild goose chase until I overheard faint muffles of⌠two girls? I looked high and low until I spotted the short recess nestled next to one of the larger dryers. I crept toward the cupboard and threw it open to be met with the shrieks from two small girls.
Naomi and Orchid.
âUncle Neron! Hi!â Naomi grinned while her cousin waved silently. âFancy meeting you here!â
âIndeed.â I crossed my arms. âYour Dad is looking for you.â
A wave of panic flashed over Naomiâs face, shaking her head. âDid you tell him I was here?â
âNot yet.â My eyes darted to the second girl curled in the cupboard. âWhy is Orchid here?â
âShe wanted company,â Orchid answered, darting her dark eyes to her knees. âAm I in trouble, Uncle?â
âNo, youâre not.â I sighed. âGo find your Mom. You can take Lupin with you.â Orchidâs eyes glowed at the mention of her favorite companion and Lupin howled in response. She crawled out of the cupboard and followed the husky out of the laundry room, shutting the door behind her. Now, with Naomi and me alone in the linen-scented room, I kneeled on both my knees and offered her a meager smile. âWould you tell me the real reason youâre here, Mimi?â
Naomi sighed, patting her curly mass of hair. âMommy and Grandma want to braid my hair, but it hurts a lot. I got scared when I saw the brushes and the gel and hid here with Orchid after I used Daddyâs spray thingy.â
So, thatâs what it was. While I couldnât fathom having my hair manipulated like that, I sympathized with Naomiâs fear. Distant memories of spotting Kiya and Raina having their hair done up as children came to mind. And their wincing faces. âDid you tell your Mom and Grandma that it hurts?â
âNoâŚâ She whimpered. âWhat if they get mad?â
Her look of both sadness and fear brought pain to my chest. I hummed, wracking my mind with a solution. How do I ease the fears of a small girl terrified of the brush? I couldnât tell Lorelai and Amani to stop braiding her hair, but⌠maybeâŚ
âNaomi?â She looked at me. âLook at my hair and look at yours. I may be Alpha, but my hair is no way as strong as yours.â
âMy hair is strong?â
âYes! If I got braids like you did, Iâd be a bald man because itâll fall out!â The mental image of losing my hair was horrifying, but that same image made my niece burst into laughter. Unfortunately, my damn wolf joined in, cackling up a storm. Pushing the asshole further back in my mind, I destroyed the mental image and eased the girl out from the small cupboard, picking her up and setting her on my hip. âStrong hair belongs to a strong and brave little girl like you. Do you think a future Gamma would run away from a brush?â
âNo?â She asked, cocking her head to the side.
âThatâs right! She would march back into that room and stare that brush down and tell it sheâs the boss! That brush has nothing against you!â
âUncle Neron⌠it has teeth.â
âSo? Ours is stronger.â I chuckled, exiting the laundry room, ascending to the main floor. âAll Iâm saying is that itâs okay to feel scared. But you can tell your Mom to not pull your hair too hard. If you say nothing, it wonât change. Can you do that?â
Naomi still looked skeptical, but in the end, nodded hesitantly. Once we entered the lobby, Kwame entered from the opposite side and visibly relaxed when he found me with his daughter. He reprimanded her for disappearing but was glad she was unharmed. As he led her out to find his wife, I shot her a double thumbs-up when she glanced back at me, giving me one on the way out.
Sheâs going to be okay.
I entered the kitchen to see Mom and our newest Lead Omega, Luli, cooking up a storm as the other omegas worked like a well-oiled machine at the sinks. Audibly inhaling, Mom turned her head and graced me with her sparkling smile.
âSkatten min, youâre back!â She exclaimed, settling her wooden spoon in a bowl of stew. She blessed my cheek with a kiss, and I reciprocated on hers. âFound what you needed?â
âYep,â I answered, peering over her shoulder at the stove. âWhat are you making? I smell fish.â
âWeâre making lunch.â Mom answered, playfully evasive as always. âI know youâre hungry, but I wonât have you spoiling your dinner.â
I arched an eyebrow. âMom, Iâm not a kid. I wonât spoil my dinner.â
âUh-huh.â She shook her head. âThatâs the same excuse your sister gives me, but Iâm not falling for it! Youâll have to wait like everyone else.â
âFine,â I whined but laughed it off afterward. âI got some stuff to take care of, anyway.â
âSpeaking of, have you confirmed your attendance for the Alpha Gathering, yet? And are you taking Nuria with you?â
Damnit, I forgot about that damn thing. I wasnât in the mood for dealing with pompous alphas and their mates for three days, in a state known for crazy humans and roaming alligators. Resting my elbows on the kitchen island, I huffed. âNot yet. Did someone call my office about it?â
âYeah, Alpha Erik, who is renting his hotel for the event.â
âI appreciate you answering for me, Mom. I wish I could get out of it, but the damn five-year privilege thing is kicking my ass.â
âJust two more years, darling. Itâll come by faster than you think.â Mom ran her hand through my hair, sinking her fingers into my scalpâher age-old technique of calming me down. Unashamed, I melted under her touch like I did many times as a child. She always knew how to make me feel better.
âSpeaking of Nuria, where is she?â
âIn the trees.â
âHuh?â
Mom and Luli pointed out the window above the sink. Well, they werenât kidding. There Nuria was, sitting on top of the thickest branch of a tree with her legs crossed, tapping away at her cell phone. She looked up briefly and gave us a wave before returning to whatever caught her interest on her phone.
Those bird mannerisms hadnât disappeared, so it seems. Shaking my head, I pushed myself off the island. âIâll be in my office. Let me know if you need anything, Mom.â
After spending a good ten minutes in my office examining and signing documents, something knocked at my window. When I turned to look, I jumped when Nuriaâs face was in full view, hanging upside down from a tree branch with a comic grin on her face. She gestured for me to open the window.
This is what I get for setting my office near the trees.
I set the documents down and allowed my sister to slip in with ease. âHi, Nero! Whatâs up?â
âI was busy.â I rolled my eyes, taking my seat in my chair again. âWhat were you doing?â
Nuria shrugged her shoulders. âHanging out?â
âYouâre not funny.â
âHumor is subjective, Mount Everest.â
I shot a glare, which was returned with a grin. Nuriaâs many nicknames for my height have yet to run out. Last week, it was Sasquatch. The week before, Beanpole. âAnyway, what do you want? I doubt you came to my office to chat about humor.â
âNope!â Nuria hopped on my desk, folding one leg over the other. âI wanted to ask how the plans for Momâs birthday party are coming along?â
Just like that, my annoyance was replaced with glee in an instant. âWell, Mom is a social butterfly, so I sent out invitations to all her friends plus advised the pack members to keep this a secret.â I pulled open a drawer next to my leg and pulled out a black folder I kept hidden from view. âI found a renowned bakery in Oregon called Pearlâs Delights and Iâve placed a custom order for Momâs cake.â
âButtercream frosting or whipped cream?â
âButtercream. Whipped would melt in the heat.â
âOkay, fair. How about presents?â
I slumped my head into my fists. âI donât know. I asked Mom if there was anything she wanted and the answer she gave me was âI have my babies, I need nothing else.ââ
Nuria snorted. âTypical Mom response. Why donât draw a portrait?â
âI did that last year, and I want to do something different. What are you getting her?â
âIâm deciding between a custom-made purse or a weighted blanket. Her birthday party is in a week and I still canât decide.â My sister sighed, rubbing her temples. âBut Iâll figure it out. I just need more time.â
âFair enough.â Flipping open the folder, my eyes were greeted with rows of colorful highlights. âIâll ask the Omegas to go shopping the day before for the feast. Now, the only thing we havenât figured out is how to get Mom out of the house for the day.â
âOh, donât worry about that! I got that covered!â
â⌠How?â
âTrust me on this.â Nuria giggled, crossing her arms. I arched an eyebrow in suspicion, but I let it go. âBack to the invitations, Neron. I donât know if you thought about it, but⌠since youâve invited her parents, I think you should also invite Kiya to the party this year.â
My heart jumped straight into my throat, stilling my body without fail. Lyra and Nikolaiâs names were highlighted as confirmed attendees to Momâs birthday party, but I didnât list Kiyaâs name. Not even on last yearâs list or the year before. Nuria waited for my response, but I simply closed the folder and set it on my desk and shook my head. âI donât think so.â
âWhy not?â She asked, baffled. âIt wouldnât hurt to ask. Kiya is a part of my family too.â
âI donât think it is the right time for her to come.â
âYou said that last year!â
âShe said she wasnât ready to come, and we discussed this. I donât know if it would change this year.â
âAre you saying that for her or are you saying that because youâre scared?â When I didnât answer, Nuria continued. âItâs been three years since you both saw each other last. I donât see why she wouldnât be invited. Mom would love her to be here since it is her party.â
âI donât know, Nuri. I donât think Iâm ready to see her yet.â
âNeron, you always do this!â Nuria groaned, throwing her hands in the air. âEvery time we breach the Kiya subject, you always avoid or shut it down. Whenever Mom and I visit Garnet Moon, you never come! What are you so scared about?â
âIâm not scared.â
âThen, whatâs the problem? Can you at least talk to me about it?â
âThereâs nothing to talk about.â I insisted. âI texted her yesterday to congratulate her on finishing her job with her students. We chatted, and that was the end of it. Thereâs no reason to push her to come here unless she wants to.â
âHow would you know if she wants to come if you donât ask her?â
I shifted in my seat, feeling the telltale bump of my phone in my pocket. Nuria was right; how would I know if I donât ask? My fingers itched to grab the device and invite her to the party, but everything in my body rebelled against it. I wasnât scared of Kiya, but I wasnât sure if I was ready. I love that woman more than life itself, but how could I look at her without feeling so⌠soâŚ
âGuilty?â
Yes. My work with Dr. Nilsen was far from over. Iâm thankful that he became my packâs official psychologist, but I have underestimated how hard the healing Iâve done was. The distance between Kiya and me has been beneficial for me to focus, and perhaps it was the same with her, but every time I think about her, the desire to hold her and keep her beside me grows stronger daily.
I desired everything about herâfrom her presence to her smell, to her intellect, to her heart.
But I donât deserve her. I donât care what anyone has to say about that.
âI canât ask her, Nuria.â I shook my head again. âCan I have some space, right now? I need to be alone.â
Nuria reluctantly nodded. She pulled out her cell phone and became engrossed with it as she left my office. Breathing in the silence, I turned my chair to face the window, watching the sun spring out from behind the clouds to highlight each leaf in its pale halo. I didnât acknowledge the tear that escaped down my cheek.
Why the hell am I feeling this way? If Kiya came to the party, itâll be for Mom. Hell, sheâll get to see Raina again and meet her niece. Itâll be a nice family reunion. But I knew the moment I smell her; I wouldnât be able to stay away from her. I would whisk her away and kiss her until she was breathless.
And thatâs what was the problem. Sure, our talks have become sporadic over the years because our lives got busy, but there was never a moment where I didnât think about her. She was doing so well for herself; a college-educated woman with her whole life ahead of her, surrounded by supportive friends and family. Mom treated her like she was her own, and Nuria has her best friend back.
I wasnât sure where I fit in the picture. If I did at all.
My thumb hovered over her contact when I pulled my phone out. Weâve talked yesterday; shouldnât that be enough for some time? I sighed, frustrated with myself at my indecisiveness. I missed her terribly, but I didnât want to intrude on her life.
âI canât⌠I canâtâŚâ
Onyx wanted to talk to me. He offered his strength and opened our mind-link, waiting for me to take the initiative, but like a coward, I walled up my side of the link. There was no way I could talk about her without jumping into my car and break every road law to see her. One day, Iâll see her. One day, Iâll be able to not feel the guilt when looking at her.
One day... one dayâŚ.
But not today.