Chapter 3

Tank

I see Lug Nut come out of the playroom where I know Lilly and the twins are. She always goes in there when she watches the twins here.I don’t normally pay attention because the brothers go in there to say hi to the boys. He is picking her up tonight? Is he taking her out? Like a date? Lug Nut doesn’t date and neither does Lilly. It isn’t club related I would know. I can’t stand when some of my brother’s or prospects touch her. I want to rip their arms off for putting their hands on her. You are probably wondering why I give a shit. It’s because I know every move Lilly makes. Most of the time whether I want to or not. Most people around here think I can’t stand the girl and I keep it that way. But it is furthest from the truth. When I rescued Lilly all those months ago as soon as I had her in my arms it just felt right. Like that was where she belonged. I got close to her the first couple of months she was here. And that is where I fuck up. I started getting feelings for the girl. Feelings I shouldn’t be having. She is barely eighteen at the time, still healing from what the Reapers did. I’m ten years older than her. I’m not a good man. I have killed for my club. I fight. I drink. I fuck around. I’m a hardass biker with a bad attitude on a good day. I shouldn’t be feeling anything for her. I’m not good for her. Lilly is everything good in this world. I am not. So I backed off from her. I stopped talking to her because when I heard her voice my dick would stand at attention. Hell, I can’t be in the same room as her without the fucker wanting to get close to her. So I leave. She got the hint and now avoids me at all cost. I have even agreed with some of the bunnies that she shouldn’t be here. Lilly doesn’t belong here. Not because of anything she has done. Lilly is too good for this place.

You would think that would be enough to get her out of my mind. No such fucking luck. I close my eyes and there she is. She is everywhere. From the way she smells like vanilla to her laugh. Most guys have no problem looking at Lilly. With her waist lenght hair that reminds me of corn silk that I want to run my fingers through. To her light caramel eyes that make you feel like she can see into your soul. And her body. Damn. She wears clothes that are way too big for her but I know she has a killer body under them. Thick thighs and hips. An ass made for my big hands to grab a hold of. And her tits christ I know she is hiding at least c’s under those baggy shirts. Fuck, my dick is like a steel pipe in my jeans just thinking about her.

I have tried everything I can think of to get her out of my head. I drank nightly until I blacked out. I fucked bunnies on a nightly basis trying to get rid of Lilly. But to get off I have to picture Lilly. I have gone as far as bad mouthing her with the bunnies. I have sat back and watched the bunnies harass her and even hit her. I didn’t intervene or do anything to stop it even though I should. I just let it happen. I notice the hurt and pain I saw in Lilly’s eyes every time damn near killed me. I had to get her out of my head.

Did any of that work? No. All it did was make me feel like shit. And make Lilly and my brothers think I’m disgusted by her. I couldn’t stand her. I wanted her out of the club. None of it was the truth but it kept Lilly away from me so no matter how bad it made me feel it was for the best. Lilly deserves someone better than me. Someone who won’t bring darkness to her light. I feel like shit for treating her like this but it’s the way it has to be.Though it is also costing me my brother's respect.