Chapter Four

River

She’s awake.

My word is she beautiful. So much more than I could have ever imagined, and she has this light about her, even in the darkness of what has happened and the confusion surrounding her.

“What am I doing here?” She asks again, her voice coming stronger this time. She turns her attention from Dr. Kahn to me, her blue eyes pleading for answers.

“You were in an accident.” Dr. Kahn answers in a monotone voice. I flex my fingers against hers, letting her know that she isn’t alone.

“An accident?” She whispers. The heart monitor picking up in pace as fear consumes her. “What happened? How long have I been here?” Her voice trembles, eyes going back and forth wildly between me and Dr. Kahn, begging for answers.

Lora turns off the heart monitor and removes the device from Chevelle’s finger, giving her a reassuring smile.

“You’ve been here for almost two years, Chevelle.” Kahn’s voice is cold, almost robotic. I thought doctors were supposed to give a bedside manner that was warm and welcoming. His stiff posture and cold demeanor are anything but warm and welcoming. It’s very much off-putting.

“Two years...” she utters in disbelief, shaking her head back and forth. “How come I don’t remember?” She pauses for a moment, eyes downcast to her lap as she begins shaking her head “I-I don’t remember anything…” she whispers as her shoulders begin to shake.

“Chevelle…” Nurse Lora’s voice is full of warmth and life, trying to bring back the warmth in the room that Kahn’s coldness had taken away. She waits until she has Chevelle’s attention and then continues to speak. “Honey, amnesia is common among accident victims. Typically, recollections of what happened come back to the person suffering from the amnesia, but sometimes they don’t.” Kahn clears his throat, casting a look at Lora, clearly irritated with her for butting in.

“Can I ask you a few questions, Chevelle?” Kahn asks, taking a notepad from the pocket of his white lab coat. The coldness seeping back into the air with every word uttered.

Chevelle nods her head yes, but turns her worried eyes towards me, squeezing my hand for comfort.

“Do you know who you are?” Kahn starts off.

“No.” she says, shaking her head in response, “You keep calling me Chevelle, and he” she says, nodding her head at me, “called me Chevy. But I don’t know who that is.” Her voice trembles as she speaks, betraying just how scared she actually is.

“Do you know where you are?” Kahn asks, continuing with his line of questioning.

“St. Anthony’s Hospital.” She answers, very matter of fact. But then she turns her attention to the mug of water in her lap, murmuring “It says so right here.” She raises her gaze back to me, tears pooling against eyes the color of Blue steel. She shakes her head no as they begin to stream down her cheeks, one at a time. “But no, I don’t actually know where I am.”

My heart breaks for her as I watch the fear grow in her gorgeous eyes.

I stand back half an hour later, watching as everyone rushes around her, our eyes never breaking contact. When they first told me that I needed to leave the room, she insisted that I stay. She wouldn’t let them so much as breathe in her direction until they agreed.

It was quite comical actually. Watching this pixie of a woman stand up to several different nurses, big and little, men and women, who are all trying to check this and that on her to make sure that she’s okay and no one was doing a thing unless they agreed to my staying.

So here I am, locked within her gaze. It’s like she needs to be able to have some form of contact with me, even if it is only our eyes that are doing so.

I’m okay with it. I actually kind of really like it.

“When will I be able to go home?” Chevelle asks once the chaos in the room has settled down a bit.

“There are several tests that will need to be performed over the next week or so. You will also have to have some rehabilitation for your muscles as they have severely atrophied due to lack of use over the last two years. We will begin the rehabilitation tomorrow, giving you today to rest. Depending on what the tests reveal and how you manage the rehab over the next week or so will dictate when you are able to leave.”

The look on her face slowly morphs into one of sadness and then transcends into fear as the nurse’s words settle in. I can’t imagine the amount of fear she is no doubt consumed with. She has absolutely no recollection of who she was or anything. She doesn’t know anyone or much of anything. She is a completely blank slate.

“What kind of tests?” Chevelle asks, momentarily breaking our connection to look at the nurse.

“There will be both Psychological and Neurological tests performed today. Tomorrow, as already discussed, we will begin your Physical Therapy, conducting tests to see to what extent your muscles have atrophied.”

Our eyes meet again as she nods her head in understanding. As soon as the last nurse leaves, I am across the room and back at Chevelle’s bedside.

“It’s going to be okay. I promise.” I reassure, folding my hand around hers.

“Chevelle?” A man says, startling us both as he makes his way into her room. “My name is Dr. Reuter. I’m the neurologist who has been looking over you the past two years. You will be coming back shortly so that we can get a look as to what your brain functions look like, but I wanted to officially introduce myself to you before the torture begins.” He gives her a kind smile and chuckles a bit before stepping back towards the doorway. “I’ll see you shortly, Chevelle.”

Chevelle nods her head in acknowledgement but never utters a word, never breaks eye contact, and never releases her hold on my hand.

“Please don’t leave me.” She murmurs as soon as the door shuts behind Dr. Reuter, burying her head into my left shoulder.

Edging closer to the bed, I wrap myself around her. Planting a soft kiss against her silky hair, I murmur the words that I will honor for as long as she will allow me to.

“I’m here for as long as you will allow me to be.”