Chapter Five

I fell asleep on my way home from work . I couldnt help it . I had to stay there until midnight just to get things finished . I spent most of the last hour just trying to keep my eyes open . Things had to change . I couldnt spend all day working and all night working too. I'd sit at my desk for hours just pushing through the exhaustion while I signed form afater form . I didnt even read them anaymore . Everytime I tried , the words would scramble themselves up, and I'd just get distracted .There was no way I was going to get any work done on two hours of sleep .

When I got home that night , It was already four , it was too late for me to get any sleep . I walked back up to my room and started getting ready for the day . This was the first time in years that I'd siriously considered not coming into work . I felt like I was contemplating murdr , but I wasn't sure I'd make it throughout the day without a nap.

Mona was waiting outside my bedroom door once I'd finished getting dressed .''Come in .'' I told her.

''Did you get any sleep last night ?'' she asked.

''No , and I'm dying , Mona .''

''What are you going to do ?''

''No'' I told her flat out and started walking out of my bedroom.

''Okay have a good day .''

''I will.'' I thanked her and walked out to the car.

The day started quickly , with six messages already on my phone by the time I got out of the driveway . The Navy was planning on purchasing the Hawkeye, and my staff was going crazy trying to get everything together.

I drove into work right away and spent most of the day on the phone , going back and forth btween Navy big sticks and the testin department to make sure that the equipment was up to their standards . moses did most of the work , but I had to sign off on everything . At the end of the day . I decided to take a trip down to testing.

Moses was sitting in the warehouse office next to a athree- screen console going over some of the videa feed when I walked in .

''Hey .'' i leaned against the desk next to the door.

''Uh-uh,''he said , laughing . ''You can't just come walking up in here looking like that . smile/''

''No,I flat out refuse and I mean it.''

''You're backing out , aren't you?''

He wheeled his cahir back to get a good look at me .

I should . I'm running on less than seven hours sleep in two days.''

''So you're going ?''He lifted one eyebrow , as if that were a big surprise.

''Yeah.''

''How about I pick you up aroind nine ?'' Moses asked.

''Yeah, fine by me .''

''Good . You wanna see the display?''

''I've beeen staring at screenshots for the past hour . If it works , it works.''

''Good .''I starightened back up.

''I should probably get going , man ''

''Nine O'clock.''

''Yeah.''

I checked my phone when I left . It was only four- thirty , but I was too exhauseted to get back to the office, so I took the car back home and crawled into bed . If I was lucky I would get a few hours of sleep before the club. I closed my eyes , laid my head down , and tried my best to think about absolutely nothing , No Mona . No Hawkeye.

I just kept thinking of how things were going in the office , damn I need to sleep.''

''I could go to the club and act like a zombie or stay home and get the rest I so badly needed. It wasn't really a choice . There was no way I could go to the bar feeling like this , not if I wanted to find somebody to take home .I decided to lay back and block out the world . Moses could wait.

As soon as I got comfortable , my violin ringtone started going off again. It was Moses of course which meant that he probably wanted to make sure that I was coming I ignored the call and laid back down , but he wasnt having it . He called right back.

''Oh come on''I answered .''Do you know how exhausted Iam?''

''I'm outside ,''he said '

''You're what ? I sat up.

''I'm staring at your front window right now.''

''Jesus , give me a minute , will yo ?'' I rushed into the bathroom .

''You have five minutes .''

''Fine.'' hung up and started rinsing off . I didnt know what I was going to wear . I went to bars all the time , but this was different. This was a nightclub, where the only thing that mattered was how I looked and how much money was in my pocket . I chose a navyblue button-up and a pair of tight jeans .

It was simple, maybe a little too simple to go to the club , but it looked good and I liked the way the jeans bunched up my crotch.

Moses was hanging out of the passenger seat when I waled out.

''You're late,'' he said

''Yeah , well you're early .''I climbed into the car .''Where are we going?''

''Oxygen.''

''You mean the hipster bar downtown ? We're gonna be the odest ones there.''

''Exactly.'' He got in and got the car srated .

I watched out the window as we weaved through traffic until we reached downtown , where the kids were out, weraring brihtly colored outfis and tight- fitting dresses , all of them ready for a night of sex and debauchery.

We parked across the street from the bar , next to a ridiculous lime-green lowrider with spinning rims to match . I felt like an old man . This wasnt y world .It never was. The people were shallow and undisciplined , more worried about how much drugs they had then whether or not they'd find a way to wake up and go to wark in the morning . I couldnt respect people like that.

We walked inside , I felt my body swaying , back and forth , my hips swinging to the club beat .There were people everywhere , crowding the dance floor , and of course , the bathroom , where most of the magic was hapening that evening.

''I'm gonna go get some drinks ,''Mosas said .''Go find us a table .''

''I dont think I'm gonna drink tonight . It's probably not a good idea.''

''Suit yourself .''He left me standing near the front entrance.

I wases through the crowd , pushing past people as best as I could wthout disturbing anyone . Thre was a table outside on the patio, where we could sit and look at the dnce floor . Flashing red and blue lights streamed acrross the room, offereing brief glimpses of couples kissing and holding one another. I took a seat and waited for Moses to come back . The mood was infectious but I wasn't sure I could really dive into it , not wit the way that I was feeling.

Moses came back to the table with a cup of beer so dark it was almost black.''What are you doing just sitting there?" he asked .

''I dont know.''

''You should dance.''

''By myself?"I asked .

''Why not ?"

''Because it'll make me look like an idiot.''

''Well , atleast take a look around . You're not going to find somebody if you're staring into space like that.''

''Fuck ot.''I got up and walked to the bar , where six bartenders were running back and forth , making one order fater another . I looked like there were trying to supress o riot . I cut through to the ege of the bar and waited.

Something shifted , and I caught the scent of wildflowers , I looked over to my right , there was agirl-no, a goddess- leanig over the bar. She noticed me , but she didnt let on. She probably wasn't interested , but at that moment . I kew I had to have her.

She was tall and blonde, with curves in all the right places . From the way she stared staright ahead , I could tell this woman felt as out of place in the club as i did . i wanted to say something , but when I turned back to her , she was gone.

''Are you sure about this ?'' I asked chloe over the phone . I had my cell in one hand and was using the other to sif through different outfits.

''I couldn't be surer. You've had a stick up your butt for fat too long.''

''Yeah , but we dont even know those guys .'' I pulled out a short red dress . The ruffles wrer nice , but it made my skin look red , so I moved on.

''It doesnt matter whether we know them or not . You dont have to get with them. I just want you to get out and have a little fun.''

''Yeah ,''I sighed .''I'll go ''

''Good , because I'm on my way.''

''You're what?''

''It's almost nine. We have to go. Are you dressed ?''

''I will be.''

''Well, hurry.''

''I'll see you in abit .''I hung up and went back to my closet . Laura could be a little insistent at times , but she knew what was best for me, even when I didnt know myself . This was a good idea , but I couldnt help but feel guilty about it.

I finally decided on a black dress with ruffles that gathered up at the bottom . It was short , Tight and sexy , and it matched my black pumps and cat eye makeup . I felt ridiculous doing myself up like that like I was puttion on a costume or something .I was too old for this, when I waslked out to meet Laura, she was standing nest to her car hlding a suspicious looking brown bag. ''What is that ''I asked .