7 – The Heat, pt 1

Nel

I wake up startled and jump up in agony.

The last thing I remember, we were behind that fence in the Golden Moon territory. I frantically look around me. I’m on our bed, back in the cabin, and it’s dark outside, which means I was out for quite a while. Suddenly, the light turns on and I see Tim standing in the doorway of our bedroom. His normally blue orbs were now bleak and worried. His wolf is peeking out to take a glimpse of us, agitated, almost desperate.

“Where’s Greg, Tim?” I ask, with tears already pooling up in my eyes.

“He hasn’t returned. We can’t reach him either. His phone is dead and there’s no sign of him at his house or anywhere else we can think of. It’s as if he’s vanished into thin air…”

“No, no, noooo…” I collapse and cry with loud sobs.

I failed him. That’s the sole worry sweeping through my brain right now. We had the perfect plan. We had worked so hard to make sure it would all go according to it and there I went and ruined everything. I’m inconsolable even at the idea of what I might have caused.

The sound of a neck clearing next to me only brings me back to reality for a brief moment.

“There’s one more, quite pressing matter at hand now, Nel. You realize you need to return there without altering your scent and surrender to the pack unarmed, right?” his voice is somber and I turn to look at him through blurry eyes. The fog covering my mind is too thick to think straight just now. Greg has grown as special to me as a brother during the past few years that we spent together.

“Why would I do that?”

His head, that was bent towards the floor till now, snaps in my direction.

“Nel, I know you’re extremely worried about Greg. Honestly, so am I, but I really need you to concentrate. This is urgent. And your only way to get to the Alpha on time is if you surrender to them in good will. Even out of doubt, their first move will be to call him to check on your statement himself and from there on you can just trust nature to work the rest of it out.”

We’re both silent for a little while.

“No, Tim… I am totally sane, concentrated and deadly serious. My only two reasons to return to their territory would be in order to finish off what we left unfinished with Milton or to retrieve Greg.”

“You can’t seriously intend to ignore the fact that he’s your mate!” his voice comes out strained and his entire posture radiates the sadness for an impending doom. His eyes are constantly on me, taking me in, as if he’s persuaded I’ll soon disappear and he’ll never see me again.

“What makes you think that even if I was interested in going to him, a man like Alpha Nicholas would need or want a mate like me? A rogue that’s not even… ‘pure’? And what am I supposed to tell him? Hey, I came to check on my friend. Remember the one that betrayed you? Oh and please, as a mating gift, could I kill your pack’s former Gamma?” I bark, getting irritated at the very notion of the hypothetical scene.

“You’ll never know unless you go to him. We knew from the beginning that this was likely to happen at some point. I’ve always been prepared to let you leave, if that means you’ll get what you deserve.” he whispers.

This is seriously too hard for him, still he goes on trying to persuade me about what he thinks is right for me. He comes and sits next to me on our bed. He takes my hand in his and caresses my knuckles all so softly. The deep, deep loving note stirs something deep inside me. I recognize his mind runs to his late mate, as he has experienced the pull. Bringing my body as close to his as possible, I raise myself a little bit and grab his chin with my fingers, forcing him to turn and peer at me.

“There’s only one way this could go. He’d reject and kill me right away.” I audibly gulp. The tension is palpable between us.

“I am aware I’ll go into heat soon. Help me, Tim… Please, help me through it. If you ever loved me even a bit, take me and mark me. I’m yours and that’s the way I want it to stay.” my voice fades as my pleading dies off in the quiet evening.

He’s visibly hesitating. I’m well aware of his opinion on this specific matter and I was hoping it would never come to this. Who the hell finds their fated mate nowadays, anyway?

“Are you certain about this?” he asks disapprovingly.

His gaze is burning me at the moment. He doesn’t agree with my decision.

“Don’t get me wrong… I was your first and I would gladly be your last and all your in-between. Whereas there’s nothing that would bring me more joy, it’s your fated other half we’re talking about and what you’re asking from me is seriously fucked up… You’ll most probably ruin all your chances with him. So I’ll ask one ultimate time… Are you positive about this?”

My throat is too dry, I can’t speak. I feel as if I’ve swallowed a handful of sand and it’s stuck there. So I just look at him and nod shyly, blushing like a schoolgirl. He brings his hands up and squeezes me in a bone-crushing hug, at the same time kissing the top of my head.

“Then I’ll help you in every way that I can, my girl!” he whispers, nuzzling his face in my hair. “Even when there’s not too much that I can do. But for sure I can’t mark you… I can’t risk your life if something happens to me. I’m a rogue fighter, babe. I put my neck on the line each and every day. Completing the mating could kill you too, if I get killed.”

What he says is actually no news. We are all more or less on the same levels of daily risk, but today has been too much for me, so by this time I can’t withhold my tears anymore. Uncontrollable sobs take over me once again, shaking my whole body. Losing a friend, finding a mate I was never looking for in the first place, failing to take the revenge that would help our beloved ones rest in peace and on top of it all the imminent heat that will most probably hit me soon and hard, as being mated to an Alpha is no trivial issue to joke about. It is more than I might handle all together.

Tim moves slightly and comes to brace his torso on the bed rest behind me, scooping me up and clashing my back to his chest. I love the comfort of nestling against him and he goes on holding me in his arms, close to his heart without speaking, caressing me as if I was a little child that just woke up from its sleep during a fierce nightmare. Only difference is that it is all a short time illusion, because my nightmare has not ended, it’s only about to begin.

Too many thoughts are running wild in my mind. As a result, my body is too tense. I’m pretty much scared and disillusioned. I never imagined things could turn out this way. Tim can sense everything as he’s holding me firmly, and he’s offering me himself to help me relax. He showers my shoulders and my nape with small kisses, his hands lazily stroke circles on all the parts of my body that he can reach. His nose snuggles up in the crook of my neck, reaching behind my ear and taking in a deep whiff.

“You should get some rest, Kitty! Today’s been very harsh on you and your smell is already changing. There’s not much time left. You’ll need to replenish some energy in order to make it through what lies ahead. Don’t worry, I’ll be just here. I’ll take good care of you no matter what…” he says. His steady breath that tickles my neck connects directly with my exhausted heart, sharing some of his calmness to soothe my anxiety.

His warmth and his caresses can work miracles on my body. I feel so secure like this. I could stay lost in this sensation forever, my insides turning to mush at his touch and desire starting to slowly burn me and liquify my legs. But it’s true that I’m too drained and I can’t hold back my sluggishness. Even though I fear sleeping right now, I can’t win this battle. My breath stabilizes against my will, as I slowly drift off in a short, but deep slumber…