Disgustingly Perfect
Three months had passed, three months in this agony…
And it is not getting any better…
I feel like I am fading every single day, vanishing, turning into an invisible shadow…
I feel unneeded, unnecessary…
It feels as if I am in a perfect picture, one that holds a beautiful sight filled with beautiful colors, and I am the splash of paint that was mistakenly placed there, no one wants me here, for I don’t fit in this perfect picture, yet I am here because I don’t have anywhere else to go...
I’d like to go back a few months ago, if you’d ask me, I want to go back when I still had hope, when I still mattered in his life, when he needed me when there was no one…
But now she is here, bright and colorful, her light radiating his existence and casting a shadow on mine.
Ciana…
The white witch who stole everything from me, my lover, my home, and my joy…
The whole pack is very welcoming towards her, and why wouldn’t they? She is a white witch, a force of nature in its kindest forms, ever since her arrival, she made a place for herself inside everyone’s hearts, she is kind, sweet, loving, she cares about everyone, helps the ones in need, with her special healing abilities, she was a healer for fuck sakes, she was able to cure and erase the pain while I was only able to predict death, like a fucking crow, of course, they would welcome her and not me, and she was the Alpha’s mate on top of that.
I know she is perfect, and more so, I know she is perfect for him, she completes his strength with her kindness, a perfect match made by the Goddess’ hands herself, everyone could see it, even me…
And that only makes me feel more bitter.
Gathering my black locks in a low ponytail, the same way I have been doing it for a month or so, ever since I stopped trying to change things, throwing on a random black hoodie I walk out of my apartment, knowing for a fact that no one wants me where I am heading, ever since Ciana’s arrival and Axel falling head over heels for her, not seeing anyone else other than her, the whole pack has been treating me more severely, they no longer try to hide their disdain and disapproval of my existence, nothing that I do is appreciated anymore, no one talks to me, not in a kind way at least and not unless it is absolutely necessary, probably because I no longer have Axel’s attention, as well as the fact that I have tried to attack his precious Ciana.
I still remember that day, when he had locked me in the facility for six days, alone with my grim thoughts, I still remember how the conversation went, with me being silent, unable to say anything nor even look him in the eye, just nodding like a scared docile girl, hating and cursing myself for my weakness as I listened to him.
“she is my mate, Ora, she is the one I have been waiting for, and she is amazing for me, in every single way, I don’t it doesn’t make sense to you, because you are not a werewolf, but to me, she is the best thing that ever happened in my life…
Ciana is a wonderful creature, she is so caring and loving, I feel blessed to have her, so please, Ora, as my best friend, I truly expect you to be happy for me…
The pack loves her, they are so happy to have a Luna who is so sweet, beautiful, knowledgeable, and strong in her own way, she even helped treat our injured wolves, even the ones you predicted their death, she brought hope back to so many families, she brought life and sunshine with her, she is a great addition to our pack, and a Luna I am proud to call my own.
The pack had had a word about what you tried to do to her before I could prevent it from happening, they have urged me to punish you, but I know you, Ora, I know where did that come from, I am very aware of your feelings, but I can’t deny my own just to protect yours, she is my mate and I will claim her the moment she lets me.
I will not punish you for this one, Ora, and you are allowed to go back to your apartment and duties in the pack, everything will be back as it was used to be, you just have to promise me that will never, ever, try to hurt my mate again, in any kind of way, otherwise, I can’t stop my pack, my wolf, nor myself, from punishing anyone who dares to hurt her…
She is your Luna too, same as I am your Alpha.”
Those were his words, and every time I looked in his eyes while he spoke about her, I realized how much he cherished her, in what? Six fucking days?
I have been fucking here for ten fucking years!
And I have lost to her.
Entering the meeting room, I greet everyone discreetly and take a seat, trying to not look at anyone in the eyes, Goddess, if only glares could kill, I’d be six feet under already…
I keep my eyes down as I pull out the few documents I have carried with me, ignoring all the rude hints here and there, Carmen keeps repeating the words: useless, and intruder, while Leo and Liam mumble about how would they kill anyone who dares threaten their mate.
Goddess, I am suffocating…
“oh, Alpha and Luna are here!” Carmen says with a sly smile on her face, her eyes focused on me, swallowing the pain and the humiliation, I stand up, head down as the two lovebirds walk in, holding hands and smiling at each other as if none could see anything else but the other.
That should have been me! This is my home! That is my man! She is the fucking intruder! Not me!
“Sorry, we are late!” Ciana speaks with that disgusting angelic voice of hers, a disgusting flush on her cheeks, and a disgusting radiant but shy smile on her face.
She is so disgustingly perfect, and I hate her for that!
I hate that she is this beautiful, I hate that is this sweet and kind, I hate that she is this loving and adorable!
I fucking hate her whole existence, I hate her!
“Well, I am not! I have enjoyed my time.” Axel retorts with a playful smirk, his wink deepens the blush on his mate’s face, and I can barely hold myself back from screaming.
“Okay, lovebirds, save your affection for the bedroom!” Carmen says in a sweet voice, but I am not blind to not seeing the way she had looked at me.
Rejoice!
“Sadly you are right, sister, we must get this meeting over with, so I can have my mate all for myself.”
“Aren’t you going to tell them?” Ciana asks, and something warns me that I am not going to like what is coming.
“Not now, baby.” He says while kissing her cheek before taking his seat, the meeting rolls normally, everyone hands him their reports, with nothing much to do, all I have at hand are the reports from my project with Mr. Bells, thanks to Ciana who took over most of my duties, my role in the pack has kept on shrinking, my report is almost identical to last month’s, and of course, Carmen is the first to point that out, and call me useless on the way.
But this time, instead of standing up for me, Axel just sighs tiredly and brushes the whole thing off to talk about other things.
Other things such as praising his mate for putting protective spells in the pack, healing the wounded, dealing with humans, and negotiating with vampires over an elongated peace treaty.
“I guess this is all for today, I will see you all next week.” Axel looks at me, words on his tongue but he doesn’t say them, well, he probably doesn’t think my presence is needed next month, and I can’t disagree sadly.
“Now, for the announcement, you were all waiting for.” Axel stands up just as my heart falls to the bottom of my stomach, looking at his eyes, the way he holds his mate’s hand, the smile on her face, the way they are standing together, I know what he is going to say, nevertheless, I still am not ready to hear them.
“This beautiful woman has finally agreed to be my wife, we will marry during the next full moon, just as she wishes.”
Goddess!
Everyone is congratulating the couple, genuine happiness in their voices, his words ring in my head, his announcement, and how he had expected me to be happy for him!
Happy? Fucking happy?
He wants me to be happy that he is marrying someone else? That he is handling my dream to someone else?
I can’t! I just can’t, I can’t stay here a while longer, I rush out of the meeting room, not caring about the voices behind me, the ones calling me, the ones rejoicing my pain, the ones huffing with annoyance…
I don’t care about it all, I had to take my heart to safety, to where I couldn’t see its noose being hanged.
“Ora! Please, wait!” what the fuck is she doing here? I turn abruptly, wiping my teary face because she could see it, she took everything from me, I refuse to let her see me cry and take that part of my dignity as well.
“What do you want?” my voice comes out sharp, we are standing in the park, I was fucking ten feet away from my car for crap sakes, why did she have to follow me here?
To humiliate me, maybe?
To gloat about her coming out as the winner? Despite all my pathetic efforts to gain Axel’s attention back? With putting extra effort into my appearance as if that mattered to him? With clinging on him like a lost puppy when he only wanted to be with her?
Yes, I did that all, and still, she is the one who won.
“Ora, I just want to make sure that you are okay!” she says in a small voice, her eyes laced with pity! This bitch dares to pity me.
“What makes you think that I am not?” it is petty, I know, but I will not allow her to humiliate me, I think as I stand tall, eyes filled with defiance even when my heart is breaking.
“I am a white witch, Ora, I can sense your pain…” she says with a soft smile while marching towards me, not stopping until there is one step between us, “I know how you feel about Axel, and myself, to be honest, I can’t blame you, but this is mother Goddess’ will, I and Axel are made for each other, and we love each other, I am sorry if my love and happiness were the reasons to your pain, but I trust that fate has something greater for you, you just have to be patient for it.” This fucking skank! How dare she!
I feel sick with her words, Goddess, I want to vomit all over her pretty face and white sundress! What an ugly color! Just like her words!
And the bitch even dares to pat my shoulder! But the moment her palm makes contact with my body, the whole scene in front of me changes…
And boy! Was I not ready for what I saw?