Baby Bump
It's as though the weather reflects how I'm feeling. As I peered out the window of Grace's car, my tears continued to fall. I suppose now would be the right time. To let him go. Maybe we're not the only ones for each other, and so things like this happen.
It was only a matter of time before we were in a place where I felt like I had given up completely.
I just smiled bitterly when I saw him having fun with Catherine. They are expecting a baby.
How they talk and what they say to each other makes my heart even more broken. Many memories entered my mind especially when we used to be together at GZNZ Resort. I remember we were hugging when Catherine suddenly came.
Now, I’m the one who looks stupid in their relationship, Catherine always tells me that she’s the one Jacob loves. And that moment, it was like I was slowly being killed.
I loved him, but he love her. It was those thoughts that made my heartache and echoed in my mind over and over like a broken plaque.
—
"Babe, you’re going to marry me here? Right? Right?" even though I can't see Catherine's face I know she's happy.
I just looked at them as Jacob hugged Catherine as they watched the sunset.
"Yes, I will marry you here while our background is the sunset. That day we will be with our baby." A big smile drew on his face and he kissed Jacob deeply.
I wiped away the tears that kept streaming from my eyes, hoping they wouldn't hear my sobs. Catherine's baby bump gave me the impression that she was pregnant. She turned around and kissed Jacob on the lips once more, this time with sincerity.
"Why are you happy? Did you like my kiss?" She still didn't notice my presence but when she saw me I could see the shock on her face but it was also replaced by a crazy smile that made me annoyed.
She looked at me as if to make me look like I was no longer the loved one of the person I loved. It was as if he was saying in his eyes that I had just given up.
"I said, I love you." Jacob must have noticed that Catherine was smiling behind. So he was about to face but Catherine touched his face.
"Do you love me, Babe?" She repeated the question so it looks like Jacob smiled and he hugged Catherine more and I was surprised that he volunteered to kiss her and hug her even more.
Please, don’t answer her question. Please, I can tolerate everything. Even if I see you happy, even if I see you kissing her, even if I know you are going to have a child, I will accept. Don’t just answer her question.
"Yes. I love you and our future child." words that awakened me.
But I was wrong, I was no longer the person he loved the most. I couldn’t stop my tears from falling. Promise, this would be the last. This is enough.
—
Why do we become stupid to the person who repeatedly hurts us? Maybe we are really numb and can no longer feel the pain. They do not value our love for them.
Maybe my foolishness is enough, isn't it? Because I need to accept to myself that he doesn't really love me anymore, that he doesn't really like me. I don't want to chase anymore, it's enough to fool around too much then. Don't just go on being a martyr and stupid.
"I-I told you, Abigail! Let's get out of it here! You'll only get hurt." I smiled bitterly and just bowed when Grace said that.
Grace pulled me back to her car, I don't know how we got out of that place so quickly. I also told Grace what the man whispered to me. But I'm not sure if that's really true but I have a strong feeling he's right.
It’s embarrassing to Grace that she sees me like this, who looks stupid. I also felt sorry for myself. You will be hurt even more if you continue. Remember, even the last time you loved him you didn’t intentionally hurt him. I gave everything, I have nothing to regret, nor did he.
"I think I'm pregnant too, I still have a fight, right? I guess I'm still the pip ---" I stopped what I was saying when Grace suddenly stopped the car and hit the steering wheel.
"Abigail! Can you please stop? Please! Even if it's just a few percent, that's enough. Yes, you're pregnant! Will anything change when you fool around again?! You'll only be hurt! I also get hurt when I see you like that! Please." I rubbed my tummy as Grace said those words.
"Will he be happy too when he finds out that I'm pregnant and we're going to have a baby?"
A minute passed but no one spoke, so I looked at her, Grace was crying and sobbing. I just smiled at her and wiped away my tears. I'm wondering again. Am I a twin of stupidity?
"I hope I can trust you. You have nothing to say to Jacob about our son, except when I need proof when he doesn't believe ---"
"His face is so thick if he still can't believe it?! Damn Abigail! We have a rest house in Masbate. If you need a place to stay, just give it to my Mom and they'll let you in. I'll take care of it and you'll be safe there." Grace handed me a card so I stared at it.
What am I going to do here? I probably won't need it anymore because I already have my own plan. But just in case, I nodded and still accepted it.
"Thank you for this, but I have a plan. I won't disturb Jacob and Catherine anymore, but I will announce that we will have children because I don't want to make my son unhappy with him, but I won't go back to him; after I inform him about our son, I'm going home to the province and I'll stay with my Grandpa and Grandma. I miss them too; I need them now," she smiled and hugged me.
"Grace, as long as you don't tell them anything, I'm happy. No matter what happens, let everything come from me first. I hope even with your boyfriend, don't tell him. I'm sorry." She hugged me so I cried again.
"You can count on me, Abigail. I don't want to see you always crying. It's better to be an old lady than to just cry all the time–" I laughed because of what she said. "I love you, Abigail but promise us, be careful always okay?" I nodded after Grace said that.
When we parted in a hug we smiled at each other. They touched my tummy and smiled.
"Baby, don't leave Mommy when your Daddy hurt her. So, Abi where are we going?" I laughed a little when Grace talked to my baby bump and when I realized it, I sighed.
"At home... At Jacob and I's house." she looked at me with a serious face but just nodded.
I still want to ask him why he lied to me that he went to Europe for a business trip even though he didn't. And why do they have a relationship? Why he betrayed me. And now they're going to have a child. but I don't know if I'm in the right position because we don't have a clear status, and I also don’t know what place I have in his life.
Is this the reason why he left early in the morning and came home late at night? Because they have a relationship?