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Chapter 2

The days passed excruciatingly slowly as if someone was doing it on purpose but finally, the weekend arrived. I had a short shift on Saturday morning and then I had to travel to see my family in the afternoon. My mum has been persistent in her efforts to get me to go home. And finally tired of her nagging and endless phone calls, I decided to go home.

It was no secret that I had been avoiding my parents because I knew they'd bring up Marcus and I was unwilling to discuss the topic. Am aware they meant well as they were my parents but they had to understand that I will process this when am ready.

My shift went on pretty fast because of my anxiety. After getting off work I boarded a matatu (public service vehicle- Nissan) and made sure to it near a window. It gets really hot in these vehicles, especially in the summer and we have two summers in a year.

I popped in my earphones and started listening to James Arthur's song, Train Wreck. I didn't know why but I felt like this song resonated with me at the moment so I put it on shuffle. The music in the matatu was loud and awful, I was grateful I didn't forget my earphones. Otherwise, I would have had the worst trip.

After an hour's drive, I was one town closer to home. And this didn't reduce any of my anxiety, in a way my anxiety levels were getting worse. I decided to do some shopping for my parents. Buying things always calmed me down a bit. My parents raised us to never go anywhere empty-handed. It was deemed rude.

That reminds me of high school, when we closed school or had a mid-term, I used to go home with a large loaf of bread and two kilograms of sugar. It started as a joke to me but it became a habit and now the more money I earned the more shopping I bought.

I entered the Society stores supermarket located not far from my next bus station and it being slightly cheap was an added advantage. I picked up a shopping cart I found at the entrance and went searching for what I needed. When I had everything on my list, I rushed to the counter to check them out. Once I was done I went to find the next matatu that would take home.

I got in, paid the fare, and waited for other passengers to fill the matatu. After 20 minutes we departed the bus station and started a 40-minute journey home. I kept my eyes pinned to the window, checking if anything had changed since I left a few months ago.

The scenery was still the same, beautiful. My home was close to Mount Kenya so we got a lot of rainfall and it was always green as far as the eye could see. I could see the cows grazing peacefully and I just smiled. Some people were on their farms trying to uproot weeds to allow their crops to grow properly while some were watering their plants, like I said it was summer and it could fail to rain for a week or two. Some women were fetching firewood to cook their dinner. This was a typical day living in the upcountry.

I have experience doing all those things; taking the animals to graze, farming, fetching firewood, harvesting crops, and carrying them home. But the hardest task of all was taking the animals grazing. It was so boring and repetitive, you could not leave or even take a nap, you're forced to stare at them the whole day while they ate, so monotonous.

I recalled the last time I took our cows out to graze like it was yesterday, I can't help but smile at the wonderful memory. I fell asleep while looking after the cows, like I insist, it was basic and boring plus having a full stomach didn't help the situation. So when I woke up I couldn't see any of the cows. So naturally I started panicking and running around everywhere searching for them.

" God, please don't let them go to anyone's farm and ruin it, or get eaten by leopards. I'll be good, I promise"

That was the only prayer in my head at the time. Leopards were typical at our place especially when we were experiencing hunger and less rain. My parents were going to kill me, then resurrect me only to kill me again. Yap, this was it, I was so dead. My tombstone will read 'murdered for failing at her job'.After searching for an hour and coming up empty, I decided to go home and face the consequences of my actions.

My walk home was slow, I was trying to drag out the inevitable as much as possible. I felt guilty and I knew that I would receive a severe beating from my mum. Before I knew it I was standing outside our gate. I opened the gate slowly as I didn't want anyone to hear me coming in. When I turned away from the gate I was met with a miraculous scene, our stupid cows were resting on the grass in our compound.

At least they didn't eat anyone's crops. I let out a sigh of relief before I noticed my mother. Standing behind them was my mum with her hands on her hips glaring at me. I looked away from her furious face as I didn't want to see how mad she was and the fact that she hadn't said anything was worse.

" Zee, stand right there! where have you been? " She asked.

"I was looking for the cows"

" And how pray tell did you lose the cows?" she asked

" Mum I swear, I just turned to eat some berries for a minute and when I turned back they were gone"

" So this is the story you're going to stick with?"

" Mum but it's the truth" I insisted.

Both of us knew I was lying.

" When are going to learn to stop lying huh? Do you think am a child that you can lie to?"

" No mum"

" Just go and take a bath, we will talk about this later"

This was certainly not a good sign. When my mum postponed a beating it was going to be worse. I didn't wait for additional yelling that was sure to follow. I rushed inside the house and into the safety of my bedroom.

This was one of my happiest memories of home. When my mind was back to the present, I noticed, I was almost home. I stopped the matatu at my stage and alighted. With the shopping in one hand and my bag in the other, I walked the rest of the way home.

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