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Chapter 10

I dragged myself from the deep folds of my duvet, quickly dressing in a pale blue gown before I left my chamber, slowly making my way towards the shared dining hall. Though I doubted my stomach could take the hefty weight of breakfast, I hoped to hear some news of my father and brothers; of if the battle had been won and we were victorious. Or if we must prepare to evacuate the city. My heart had swelled by the time I had changed, unable to take the silence any longer.

I rushed into the dining hall to find my sisters sat in simple conversation, each one more elegant that the last. Shaking my head, I hesitantly took a seat beside Flo, her smile lifting my mood, though only slightly as I poured myself a glass of milk. Normally I would allow the butler to pour my drinks and retrieve me food, though somehow it now seemed wrong, as though I would be betraying my independence by allowing them to do so.

Marcella turned towards me once she had finished speaking of her many suitors with our other four sisters, her tone sharp and vicious as she glanced over my small frame. “Sister, you embarrass us with your appearance. Do you not care what others will say?”

Why should it matter how we looked when our father and brothers were in battle at this very moment fighting for our survival; for all of our lives? - I thought bitterly, glancing around the vast rectangular table at my sisters; each one appearing more elegant that the last.

I shook my head, laughing slightly as I pulled the small hair tie from my knotted hair, allowing my coppery waves to fall over my shoulders. Each one of my sisters wore shimmering gowns with large amounts of extortionate jewellery, their actions screaming with arrogance and greed. Father always wished us to be humble about our standing in society and flaunt what we had to those who could not afford it; yet here they sat, doing the exact opposite to what he had requested. I turned towards Flo with a smile, her gown simple and yet flawless as she cared not for the finer things in life, nor for the allowance that our father permitted each of us.

Like myself, Flo uses her allowance to aid those who were left fortunate, together aiding the orphanages and the poor in weekly runs to get them supplies; this is the sister I wished to be like. The one I loved more than all the others. She had accepted that her gender put boundaries on what she could do for the people, and yet never allowed it to stop her; or her kindness. We spend more time that I could possibly imagine in the poorer ends of the city, that is, when Marcella did not require her presence to accompany her on visits with many suitors.

“No Marcella I do not care for my appearance when our father is out fighting just beyond the city walls.” I snapped harshly, taking a small gulp of the milk before slamming the glass into the table.

Marcella shook her head, her lips slimming into a thin line as she held back her anger. “That does not give you the right to look like a peasant sister. Really, you must learn how to groom yourself in the appropriate manner.”

“What do you believe me to be Marcella? A horse? That is what they do when horses must look their best, they groom them, and so are you meaning to tell me that without your three hour morning routine you would look no better than a horse?” I countered viciously, causing all of my sisters to turn towards me in shock; Flo taking a short gasp of breath.

“Sanctus, don’t speak to our sister in such a way. You are acting like a child.” Mary scolded from across the large table; her marble black eyes filling with fury.

Of course – I growled silently – all my sisters would take Marcella’s side in this. See her point over the sister that killed her mother in birthing.

I snapped my head towards Mary as she continued to glare, her silk-like blonde hair pulled back into a tight bun; her radiant silver tiara only reminding me of her greed. “If you had not noticed Mary, I am still a child.”

Sofia gasped from the other side of me, my second eldest sister also shocked at the manner in which I spoke to Mary and Marcella; her tone light and yet, cruel. “Do not act like a brat Sanctus; calm yourself before this gets further out of hand.”

I glanced towards Sofia with a sigh, her emerald green eyes ordering me to watch my tone; I know that they all believe me to be irrational and childish. But it seemed as though none of them cared about the danger that loomed over the city, only becoming agitated when the way in which I presented myself became somehow inappropriate.

So they care not for the health of our father, but only for the way that my appearance angers them, - I huffed silently; shaking my head in continuing anger.

I took a deep breath, attempting to calm myself before I spoke again; forcing my tone to appear docile. “I apologize sisters; I am only worried for the safety of our father.”

Flo smiled down at me, her tone soothing and gentle as she stood from her seat and began tugging my coppery hair into a tight bun. “We are all worried Sanctus, but we must keep up appearances for the people.”

I nodded, understanding Flo’s words better than anyone else’s and the way that she believed that as long as we looked the part; the people would take comfort in our smiles.

But I couldn’t see how I could possibly smile when I had no idea whether we were on the verge of victory or annihilation. I shook my head, forcing my best fake smile as I replied; my tone light and fluffy. “Of course, I’m afraid I did not get very much sleep last night and it has placed me out of sorts. I do apologize sisters.”

“Then you must eat something sister, it may help to improve your mood.” Marcella purred lightly, her tone dark and hateful as she turned her head away from me; concentrating instead on the many names of her suitors.

Flo shook her head as she finished tying my hair in a tight bun, allowing two small waves to curl against my cheek before she began to speak; her tone low and soft. “Don’t listen to her scorning Sanctus, she was rejected by two suitors today and it has made her rather intolerable.”

I smiled, finding some comfort in Flo’s words as she moved to sit beside me, her smile matching mine as I thanked her for being so kind. Breakfast went by at an alarmingly slow pace with still no news of our father or the battle that raged just outside our home; my heart sinking with each hour that passed.

Attempting to snap my thoughts away from the war, Flo and I ventured into the city a little after noon, stumbling through the packed streets as we passed out what supplies we had bought to those who needed them.

The city had been forged from various stones and metals, the best craft dealers in all the kingdoms creating structures that could withstand the harshest cannon; though most had been damaged in the last battle for our city. One that we almost lost. I sighed, holding a small child as one of the women spoke with my sister about political matters, something in which I had no interest.

The child wept suddenly, its cries filling the busy street as I bounced her up and down, doing my best to ease her pain; whatever it was. The mother her took her back quickly, attaching the sobbing infant to her breast. I looked away in shock, feeling as though I was being rude by watching such an intimate show of womanhood; though the woman only laughed.

“You do not have to turn away princess, this is only natural.” The woman chuckled, adjusting the child as she suckled on her breast.

I slowly turned back towards the woman, clearing my throat as I attempted to hide the blush that rose in my cheeks. “Of course, my apologies. I have just never seen something so ... Intimate before.”

She chuckled again, her muddy brown eyes filled with affection. “That is perfectly alright princess, though do not spend any more time here with me; there are others in the city that will need your assistance. Though I must thank you again for money and supplies.”

I nodded, my own smile increasing as I spoke; my tone light and pleasant. “It is not a waste of my time to speak here with you, though you are right about the others who need our help and so they will get it.”

Flo stepped towards us in an elegant motion, passing the woman a large loaf of bread as she spoke; her tone light and pleasant. “We will come back and see you tomorrow Madelia. Please let us know if there is anything else that you require.”

“Thank you princess, thank you both. I have no doubt that we would never survive without your kindness.” Madelia smiled, once again adjusting the child that clung to her breast.

My smile grew as we moved to leave, the city almost overflowing with refugees from the destroyed villages. Each of them needing both our help and our kindness. Though sometimes, I doubted that a few silver coins, some dried meat and bread were enough; always wishing that I could do more.

Take away the troubles that plagued out people, but for now; I would continue. Doing all I could to ensure that they survived, that they lived how my father had always imagined they would. In peace. Without the constant heartbreaks of war.

And perhaps one day we will live without battle, without our men leaving home to die on a lonely field surrounded by the enemy.

Strange that, to think that the last thing a soldier would see was the face of someone who had tried to killed them and succeeded; unable to change their fate.

Flo smiled wondrously to everyone we helped, carefully masking her fear that our father and brothers would not return along with many other of our soldiers; of our people. But what then? John would take the throne as first born son, but he had no kin, no wife.

Who would take his place should he perish in another battle, another war? I dreaded to think of what would become of our people should we lose, should my father not return; instead focusing once more on the people who needed my help. My kindness and standing as a princess.

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