IV

IV

Every of my mischievous deeds had steamed from the relationship with my adoptive brother; Jonathan Russell. The first time I saw him, he was a freckled kid with an air of complete narcissism. He worshipped the ground he walked on. With two years age gap between us, Jonathan turned my life to what ever he felt like.

At first he was threatened by me, he thought I was there to take everything away from him, he didn't say it but I saw it in his eyes. He chewed the inside of his cheeks whenever they asked me instead of him if I wanted to do something fun, I understood they were trying to make sure I was comfortable, they didn't know that they were making their son skeptical. He tried his best to hide it, unfortunately I saw it clearly. In his nervous expression, his clenched fist, his constant need for attention, the rough shoves I got in the hallway, every thing a scared teenager did, he did, maybe even double.

People watching was one thing I did best, sit in silence, in the dark and observe everything, the tiniest details no one saw, it was the first thing I saw clearly. The things most people missed, I caught on.

"I'm not trying to take them away from you." I whispered to him one Sunday evening, when the parents were out, both of us sat opposite each other, he had roughly dragged me to the sitting room, like he did every Sunday.

His eyes almost broke out his head, I had never spoken to him before today, I didn't talk to anyone much, asides Cam, but to talk to Jonathan personally? Even when he bullied me, I never said a word.

"You.. you.. you spoke to me?" His stammer wasn't of shock, but of relief.

I was taken aback for a minute. Did he want me to talk to him all along?

I nod in response. He jumped out his seat, ran towards me, the emotion on his face was something I didn't expect.

He was smiling, at me.

"Why didn't you tell me that Jonathan was here?" I ask Cam as he drove to the house.

He shrugged.

"You know you missed him."

I rest my head back, and closed my eyes. I needed to prepare myself if I was going to be in the same place as Jonathan and Cameron.

Jonathan was the first one of our trio to go to a club. He dragged Cam there, but Cam wouldn't go if I didn't. So I go, on the promise that I was going to be on my own, no dancing. They agreed to my terms. Later that night I had to carry two drunken men home.

He gave Cam his first blunt, fortunately Cam never took it again. Also his first substance. They didn't make me take it, they made me watch out for them, so they didn't do anything out of the ordinary.

He was the second person I opened up to, the second person I trusted. One day, Jonathan packs up and leaves the house, without an explanation, to me, or our parents. Our parents could find him if they wanted, but they let him be. And that made me angry, unfortunately I wasn't built to show my anger. It was always inward.

The only thing we heard of him was that he had opened his own Cigarette company. I called him in the first few weeks he left, but he never took my calls. He never returned them either.

Slowly but surely, Cam and I continued our lives without him in it, Cam was over at mine most of the time as I was home schooled, I did not have anywhere to go.

By the time we knew it, we had moved in with our lives completely. Forgetting all about Jonathan. Now? He just comes out of where?

"We are here." Cam announced.

I looked at him, his face was peering into mine worriedly.

"We can leave if you want.."

I smile at him, Cam was the sweetest person, but he wasn't a fool. He knew I wasn't sensitive to people, and didn't let people in easily. And talking to people after they have hurt me was hard.

"I can't run away from my brother forever, can I?"

His cheery smile came back out

"What do you think he looks like now?"

I let out a short laugh, thought about it for a second.

"I can't say for sure, but if he's still the same Jonathan? Then I'm more than certain he is not as pretty as I am."

Cam laughs before getting out of the car, a second later he was by my side of the car giving me the all clear signal. Meaning there was no paparazzi in sight. I nod and climb out of the car.

I felt excitement surge through me, I did want to see him again.

"Someone looks eager."

My head whipped left and right as I searched for the familiar voice.

"Right here sport."

I looked up, his familiar face came into view. He was on the balcony facing me from upstairs. Orbs black as always, facial hair that hadn't seen shaving cream in months, his baby face was gone, replaced with a man that looked similar to my elder brother.

"You better make yourself fucking scarce." I told him.

He chuckled and went out of view, most likely coming downstairs to meet us.

Cam and I walked inside the house, both of us stuck in our heads, Cam was probably reminiscencing on our times with Jonathan.

"Hey baby." Mom said coming into view.

Her appearance made me smile. She was almost as young as I saw her that day in the orphanage home for boys.

I put my arms around her in a tight embrace.

"My home is complete again." She murmured against my chest.

I chuckle.

"Hug me too!" Cam demanded like a baby. Mom chuckled and hugged him too.

"You definitely get a hug too, after all you're my son too. Eliza's son is my son too." She said shrugging.

"I don't think I can wait any longer, I'm too hungry." Dad commented from the dining.

I walked to him and gave him a side way hug. I missed them terribly.

"If you missed me that much, visit us often." Dad groaned before patting my arm.

"You guys sit, Anita's serving the food."

I waved at Anita, she has always been the care taker for the house.

She waved back.

Soon, Jonathan comes down to join us. Everyone went silent, there was a noticeable tension between Dad and him.

"You too Jonathan, sit." Mom sat down beside Dad. Jonathan sat on the seat on Dad's left hand side.

Before we had the chance to say anything, Anita served the food. Everyone us started to distract ourselves with the food.

"Uhm.. my wife's pregnant?" Jonathan dropped a bomb on us.

Everyone went silent for a while, then like well oiled machines we expressed our shocks the same time, different manner.

"You have a wife??"

"You're married??"

"A child??"

"What the hell??"

"Yeah.. as unbelievable as that may sound.. I'm married." He answered nervously, his left hand scratched his beard. His right hand flashed his ring.

"To who?"

"You haven't met her.. yet.. her name is Clarissa.."