Chapter 11 - Decision

Emma moved all of her belongings into a spare bedroom in Melora's house. She made sure nothing she wanted was left at Martin's because she had no intention of ever stepping foot back in that house.

Ezra told her that the prosecutor had been successful in keeping Martin locked up without bail until the trial. He also told her that Leo had been placed in a foster home. Emma hoped that, for Leo's sake, he would change by being away from his father's influence.

She stayed out of school for a week to give her body time to heal. Melora brought her homework to her every day so she wouldn't get behind. Emma started getting into a routine of work and school. She was even more determined now to save as much money as possible to support herself after graduation.

Emma wanted to go to college to be a nurse, but she had waited too long to apply, so she decided to work for a year to save money. She remembered how kind all the nurses had been to her and her mother over the years. They were her inspiration to become a nurse and help others.

It had been almost two months since the rape. Emma was planning on testifying in his trial, and she was going to make sure she said whatever was necessary to send him away for a long time.

She and Melora were walking to school when Emma suddenly felt sick. She had to stop along the way to vomit, and she felt extremely nauseated.

"Emma, do you want to go back home? I'll walk back with you." Melora was worried about her friend. She had never seen Emma look as pale as she did now.

"No, let's go to school. Hopefully, I'll shake this off and feel better." They continued on their way, but Emma had to stop three more times due to nausea. When they finally got to school, Melora talked her into seeing the school nurse.

"What's wrong, dear? You don't look good. Why don't you lay down on the table." Claire watched Emma as she laid down, and she put a cool cloth over her forehead. The school nurse was short and round, with curly gray hair and kind brown eyes.

"I don't know what's wrong. On my way to school, I started feeling sick. I vomited a few times on the way here. Can I just lay here for a few minutes?" Emma felt better laying down with the cloth on her head. The nausea seemed to be subsiding.

"Yes, you can stay here as long as you need to. I'll turn the light off so you can rest." Claire shut the door enough so that Emma wouldn't have any light on her face.

Emma wasn't one of her frequent flyers trying to get out of exams, but Claire knew who she was. The whole school knew what had happened to her mother, and they knew she had been attacked by her stepfather a couple of months ago.

Claire thought Emma was an extremely strong young woman to go through everything that had happened and still hold her head high. She would do whatever she could to make her feel better.

Emma fell asleep, and when she woke up about an hour later, she felt better. When she sat up on the side of the table in the nurse's office, Claire came in and smiled.

"Are you feeling better, Emma?" Claire asked her while looking her over.

"Yes, I don't know what it was, but it hit me all of a sudden, and now it's gone. Can I go to class now?" Emma started to get off the table, but Claire stopped her.

"Emma, can I talk to you for a minute?" Claire pulled up a chair and sat across from her.

"Sure." Emma didn't know what she wanted to say, but maybe she had an idea of what was wrong with her. She assumed it was a stomach bug or something.

"With your symptoms, have you considered that you may be pregnant?" Emma was ready to argue with Claire and tell her she had never had sex, but she stopped. She knew enough from her sex education class that she may be experiencing morning sickness. The only person who could have gotten her pregnant was Martin.

"Why can't I escape him? Claire, I know everyone here knows what happened to me. My stepfather is the only one who could have gotten me pregnant. How can I find out?" Emma wanted to take a test as soon as possible; she needed to know if she was carrying that monster's child.

"We have some home pregnancy tests here. I'll give you one, and you can use the restroom here. Just pee on the stick, and then we'll check it in a few minutes to see what it says. Emma, if you're pregnant, no one would blame you for wanting to terminate the pregnancy." Claire couldn't imagine having the baby of her rapist, especially at the age of eighteen.

"Let's take one step at a time. First, let me see if that's something I even need to think about." Emma got off the table and took the test from Claire before going into the small restroom.

When she came out, she and Claire waited for the ten minutes it said on the package before checking the test. Emma was confused at first when she saw two lines on the little windows of the test. She felt sick again when she compared it to the image on the packaging. She was pregnant with Martin's child.

"Claire, I'm pregnant. I don't know what to do. I have a lot to think about, but I need to go to class right now." Emma grabbed her backpack and headed for the door.

"Emma, if you need to talk or need any help, let me know." Claire felt terrible for the teenager. She was so young to try and make this decision on her own.

"Thanks, Claire." Emma waved as she left the office and went to her class. She was in a daze the entire day. No matter what Melora or her other friends said, she couldn't focus on them. All she kept seeing were the two little lines that showed she was pregnant.

"Okay, what's going on with you?" Melora looked at Emma as they walked back home. She had wanted to say something to her all day but knew Emma wouldn't say anything personal until they were alone.

"Melora, when I was in the nurse's office, I did a pregnancy test, and it came back positive. I'm pregnant with Martin's child." Melora stopped in her tracks and stared at Emma in shock. That was the last thing she had expected her friend to say.

"Oh, Emma, I'm so sorry. That bastard keeps coming back to haunt you. When we get home, do you want me to help you find a doctor who can get that thing out of you?" Emma looked at Melora in surprise.

"I haven't made up my mind yet on what I'm going to do. On one hand, I don't want anything to do with something that is a result of what Martin did to me. On the other hand, I can't blame this baby for something that is not their fault. I totally believe in a woman's right to choose, and I'm thankful to have a choice, but I never thought about what I would do if it was my choice."

As they approached the house, Melora stopped Emma before going inside. She understood what Emma was saying but thought it would be better for her to end it now, so there were no reminders of that man.

"Emma, think about it before you decide. I want you to do what's best for you. Think about the sacrifices you will have to make to raise a child. It will change your entire life and whatever plans you had for the future." Emma listened to her friend, but she was still on the fence.

"I know, Mel. Let's talk to your mom, so I can see what she thinks." They walked into the house, and after dropping their backpacks in their rooms, they went to the kitchen where Tilly was waiting.

"Hello, girls. How was your day?" Tilly smiled as she pulled out a cookie sheet with freshly baked chocolate chip cookies from the oven. When Emma didn't reach for one right away, Tilly knew something was wrong.

"Tilly, I need your advice on something." Emma relayed everything she had told Melora, and she watched Tilly's eyes fill with tears.

Tilly walked around the counter and hugged Emma. She loved her like her own daughter and couldn't believe that life kept throwing her curve balls. Her first instinct was to tell her to terminate it right away, but she could tell Emma was conflicted.

"Let's take some of these cookies and milk out to the deck and talk." The three women went outside and sat at the picnic table in the backyard. Emma nibbled on a cookie and sipped some milk. She loved nothing better than warm chocolate chip cookies.

"Tilly, I don't know what to do. I know that whatever decision I make will forever change my life. If I have the baby, I will be responsible for another human being for the rest of my life. However, if I have an abortion, would I be able to live with myself, not knowing what this baby could have been?" Emma put her head into her hands and sighed.

"Emma, no one can make this decision except for you. We may have our own opinions, but we'll support you no matter what choice you make." Tilly held her hand, letting her know that they would be there for her.

That night Emma tossed and turned in bed, not able to sleep. She was trying to decide what to do because she wanted to make a choice before she didn't have an option anymore.

When she finally fell asleep, she had a dream about having the baby, and she saw herself happily cuddling the little one. When Emma woke up, she had a smile on her face. After that dream, she knew she was going to have her baby. No matter the reason for this pregnancy, she was going to shower her child with love.