Chapter 1 - Eggshells
(Warning this chapter contains content that may be very sensitive to some readers)
Emma cried as she watched Martin throw her mother onto the floor and kick her. This was almost a daily occurrence, but it never got any easier for her to see. Paula curled in a ball, apologizing for something she didn't do.
When he finally stopped, Emma ran over to her mom to hug her, but Martin stopped her by slapping her hard across the face. When Emma began crying, he pulled her hair.
"You, little brat. I told you not to drink juice in the living room. Now, look what you made me do to your mom. This is all your fault; you made me hurt her because you're too stupid to do as your told." Martin threw Emma to land on top of Paula. They were both crying but too scared to move.
When he left the room, Paula sat up wincing; she could tell she had at least one broken rib again. She pulled Emma onto her lap and kissed her red face where Martin had slapped her. Paula could put up with him hurting her because she deserved it for always messing up. However, she hated when he hurt Emma.
Three-year-old Leo walked into the room and put his arms around them. Emma loved her little brother, and she hugged him back. Paula hugged him too, but she was in too much pain to move much. She had to sit for a few minutes and try to focus on something other than her bruised body.
They had lived with Martin and Leo for over three years. At first, Martin had been the perfect gentleman, not forcing anything on Paula. She cooked, cleaned, and took care of the children. She even had her own bedroom next door to Emma's on the opposite side of the house from Martin.
After a few weeks, Martin started buying her flowers or little trinkets. He continuously surprised her with little gifts for her or Emma. It appeared to be spontaneous the first time he kissed her, but Paula knew now that he had planned this all out from the first time they met in the park. Before she knew it, she was sleeping in his bed.
After living with him for only three months, he asked her to marry him. Paula wasn't sure she should say yes, but she was scared he would make her and Emma leave if she said no. Their wedding night was the last time that he was nice to her.
After they were married, he began ridiculing everything she did. Martin hit her if he didn't like what she wore, how she did her hair, or if the kids weren't behaving. He constantly told her that she was worthless, stupid, and ugly. When he wasn't hitting or yelling at her, he was forcing her to have sex with him. There was nothing gentle about it, and sometimes she was hurt worse from him in the bedroom than from the beatings.
Martin broke her down so badly that she began believing the things that he said, and she would apologize, promising to be better. When he hit her, she would beg him to stop until she realized he liked her to beg, making him hit her more.
Craig had never laid a finger on her, so the first time Martin hit her, it had taken her by surprise. When she questioned him, he hit her again. Paula thought about leaving but had nowhere to go, so she put up with it.
Martin alienated her from everyone, so she had no one to talk to except him. Paula did her best to keep him away from the kids, but she quickly learned that she only needed to worry about Emma. He never punished Leo.
If Leo spilled something on the floor, Paula or Emma got hit for not watching him better. If Leo broke something, Paula would be punished for leaving the object in his reach. She had come to the point where she resented Leo a little. Why did Martin treat him well, but not her and Emma?
Paula looked down at her daughter, who was still crying in her lap. She hated that she had brought her daughter into this environment, but she didn't know how to escape. No matter how hard she tried, Martin found something wrong every day, giving him a reason to hit her.
She thought about calling one of the women's shelters for help, but she didn't want to take Emma to one of those places. Paula decided to accept her fate and try to do better at not making Martin mad. She knew it was an impossible feat, but if she could at least protect Emma from him, she would take the beatings he gave her.
Paula put Emma up on her feet and slowly stood up. She had to finish dinner before Martin got angry at her for that too. She sucked in her breath as she stood; her side hurt so badly it brought tears to her eyes. She saw Emma looking at her with her big blue eyes, and Paula tried to smile through the pain.
"It's okay, baby girl. Let's get dinner ready." Paula took Emma's hand, and they walked slowly to the kitchen. She had to bite her lip with every step as she tried not to yell out.
Emma watched her mother trying to hide the pain. Even though she was only five, she knew Martin shouldn't be hurting them like this. He wanted Emma to call him dad, but she only did it when she had to. She knew he wasn't her real dad; her mom told her about her dad whenever Martin wasn't home.
Emma helped her mom as much as she could with setting the table and carrying whatever wasn't too heavy. Her face still stung from Martin's slap, and her body hurt from where he threw her. However, she had taught herself to focus on other things rather than the pain. She was more worried about her mom.
Emma didn't like seeing the different colored bruises on her mother's pale skin. Her mom's lip was bleeding, so Emma took a tissue and handed it to her. She wanted to talk to her, but she was afraid Martin would hear and hurt her mom again.
Paula saw her daughter's worried eyes, and she smiled at her. She knew Emma was trying to be quiet so as not to upset Martin. She felt a wave of guilt wash over her. A five-year-old child should not be worried about being hit or their mother being hit because of a little noise.
Just as they finished setting everything on the table, Martin came into the room and sat down at the head. Paula helped Leo and Emma into their seats. Paula then took her seat across from her husband.
She watched as Martin took the first bite. If he liked it, she could relax and eat. If he didn't, then she had to be prepared to be punished. He put a forkful of food in his mouth and didn't react as he continued eating. Paula relaxed; no reaction was better than the alternative.
She ate small bites keeping an eye on the kids to ensure they didn't spill or drop anything. Emma was the perfect angel because she knew her mother would pay for any mistakes she made. Leo was less careful, so Paula had to constantly clean up after him before Martin became angry.
When dinner was over, Paula cleaned up the kids and the table while Martin went into the family room to watch television. Emma helped her while Leo played on the floor. After everything was clean and nothing was out of place, Paula took Leo into the bathroom for his bath.
Martin suddenly walked up behind her, and she braced herself. She felt him grab her by the hair, pulling her up, so she was standing; the pain was causing tears to run down her face.
"Where the fuck is my blue shirt? I need it for court tomorrow, and I don't see it in the closet." Martin gripped her hair so tightly she thought he was going to pull it out by the root.
"I ... it's hanging next to your suit. I just picked it up from the dry cleaners." Paula could barely get her words out because of the pain in her scalp and the beating earlier.
Martin didn't let her go; instead, he continued holding her hair and forced her to her knees. When she was on the floor, he bent her over the bathtub and held her head under water. Paula had no time to hold her breath, and she struggled as her lungs began to fill with water.
Martin finally let her go and kicked her in the leg before walking out of the bathroom. Paula sat on the floor, coughing up water and crying silently. She didn't want him to hear, or he would come back.
Emma, who had been right outside the door, went to her mother and wrapped her arms around her. She hated seeing Martin hurting her mom and wished they could leave. Emma got Leo out of the bathtub and dried him off. She even dressed him and helped him to bed.
Paula watched her daughter take care of her little brother and smiled. If anything in her life could make her smile, it was Emma. She had such a big heart, and no matter what Martin did to them, Emma stayed strong.
She got up off the floor and cleaned up the bathroom. Martin liked everything to be in perfect condition all the time. Paula had learned her lesson the one time she left the bathroom a mess while putting the kids to bed.
After the bathroom was spotless, she went to check on the kids. Emma was sitting on the bed next to Leo, looking at a book. Paula stood in the doorway, watching them. If only Martin could be a kind, loving husband, he would get pleasure out of watching the children together. Paula frowned as she turned away; Martin only got enjoyment from seeing how much pain he could cause her until she broke.