Chapter 8 The Secret Is Out

They say that broken people give broken love. But are all people not broken in some way, it just depends how well you sow yourself up at the start of each day.

I am not ready to show Isabella how broken I really am but I also do not want to mess up this good thing that we have.

I have one of two choices, I walk out and this ends here or I stay and might not be able to walk for the next few days. The last time I slept with my prosthetic leg on, I hurt my stump and could only use my crutches for those next couple of days. And that poses a completely new problem as I do not have crutches here. Yes, I am so over thinking this but all decisions come with consequences.

"Boo."

"Yes, soldier?"

"Come here."

I pull her closer.

"Yes, soldier?"

"I just wanted to taste your sweet lips."

"You starting something again?"

"Sshhh. Just kiss me.

She lifts herself up on her toes, and my face goes down to hers. I kiss her. The kiss speaks. It begs. It wants, it wants more than I am willing to give. Her fingers grip my hair, pulling me closer. My veins throb and my heart explode. I have never wanted anyone as much as I want her. She plays with the stubble on my face. Her touch feels warm and soft. My hands are everywhere, I want her closer and closer. I want to breathe her, taste her, touch her, I want her to consume my senses.

"Do you want to go to bed," I ask quite nervously for I have no idea what I am going to do now? "I think it's something past midnight."

"I got some sweats from my husband that should fit you."

"How can I say no to that?"

"Hahaha ok, that sounds bad unless you want to wear mine."

"As much as I am tempted to slip on your pink sweats, I am sadly going to have to pass."

This could just work. She disappears off to the guest room and comes back with a pair of grey sweats.

I quickly head off to the bathroom while she goes into her bedroom.

"Are you scared to change in front of me, soldier?"

"Can't let you feel and see it all on one day now can I."

"What? You telling me I have to work for it?"

"Boo this is all yours if you want it, you ain't going to work for anything."

I slowly walk up to her and pull her closer and wrap her in my arms. With her, in my embrace, it is as if the world has stopped still. There is no time. My mind is at peace. How could it be that I have not noticed this before? She is pure, unselfish, and undemanding. This is what I have waited for. A woman like this is to be cherished for life. Finally, I feel like I am at home

"Boo."

"Yes, my soldier?"

"There is something we need to talk about."

"Fuck, am I pregnant?"

"Hahaha, I somehow think that would be far better news than this."

"What is the matter then?"

"Would you like me if I was any less of a man than you think I am?"

"How can you possibly be any less of a man?"

"Just humor me. What if I am not all than what I seem to be?"

"I don't understand you soldier?"

"What if my body does not work all the ways it should be?"

"Trust me your body works perfectly fine."

"Hahaha trust you to see the silver lining to something you don't even know about yet."

"Soldier, I know where you came from, I know that your mind might be a bit broken and that does all."

I can't do this. My mind is the last thing she needs to worry about but then again the nightmares show that maybe that is also not quite all there as well.

"Do you get nightmares at night?" she asks me as I can see the clear concern in her eyes.

"Whenever I close my eyes, it's the same thing over and over again."

"Mark also used to have those, he used to scream himself awake at night. He used to go sleep in the guest room just so he won't wake me up."

"Boo, what happened to him?"

"Their Humvee he was traveling in hit a mine, he was blown to shit. They sent what was left of him home in a body bag just big enough for a child."

"God Isabella, I am so sorry."

I wrap my arms around her and stroke her long brown hair. She buries her face into the crook of my neck and we stand like this for a while, she cries and my heart aches for her. I don't want her to hurt. It feels as if when she is in my arms all her pain will go away. If we could only stay in each other's arms forever, we will be safe from the world.

"Come boo, let's go to bed."

I lay down next to her on the bed, laying on my right-hand side, keeping my leg away from her. I fall asleep with her wrapped close to me. For some reason tonight, with her in my arms, my sleep is not riddled with nightmares.

Morning comes too soon. When I open my eyes, she is not next to me. I get up to go find her but I am rocked to my core with incredible pain.

"AAHHH FUCK!"

She comes rushing into the room.

"Are you okay soldier?"

"Yes, I think I must have hurt my back sleeping funny."

"Shit, I don't even have painkillers."

"It's fine boo, I will get some from home."

I try to get up but the pain shoots straight through my stump.

"FUCK!"

"Please tell me what I can do? What must I do?"

"I'm fine boo, I just need to get home."

I try standing up again.

"GODDAMMIT!"

"Must I phone Matt?"

"Please boo, ask him to bring the car."

She rushes to go find my phone. I muster all my strength and bite on my lip as I walk the way to the lounge.

"FUCK!"

"He is on his way soldier, just hang in there."

"Please come here boo."

She moves closer to me.

"Thank you."

"For what soldier?"

"For being you."

I gently lean in and give her a kiss on her warm soft lips. It is slow, soft, and comforting. My hand rests below her ear, my thumb caresses her cheek as our breaths mingle. She runs her fingers down my spine, pulling me closer until there is no space left between us and I can feel the beating of her heart against my chest.

Then there is a knock on the door.

"Come in Matt"

Matt comes into the lounge

"Bro, what is wrong?"

"I messed up my back, I need to get my pills."

He knows full well that I am lying. But he helps me up and walks me to the car. I give Isabella a kiss before getting in.

"I will speak to you later boo."

"Please rest soldier, I will speak to you soon."

With that Matt pulls off and heads home.

"I take you did not tell her?" Matt asks with both concern and sadness in his eyes.

"Matty please do not grind my ass now, I just need to get home."

"Bro I am just worried about you, what happened?"

"I was laying on it the whole night. The pressure must have restricted my blood flow so it has swollen now and the damn friction has to cause fucking blisters."

"I see, you fucked yourself up because you were too proud to tell the girl you in love with."

"What did I say about grinding my ass?"

"Well the old man is on his own mission, I just hope he does not start his shit with you because you never went home last night."

"Fuck I forgot to send mom a message, she is going to kill me."

"Don't worry, I did. I knew you would be too busy scoring. I hope you damn well did, especially after fucking yourself up like this."

"Don't stress man that one was easier to get past than the sleeping bit."

"Damn dog."

"And no, you are not getting any details."

"Bro, I don't even think you lasted a minute."

"Your ass, I at least made it to five."

"Hahaha, it is still something I won't brag about."

We come to a stop in the driveway at home. I brace myself for the shit that is about to go down.

"Do you want me to help you?" Matt asks as he climbs out of the car.

"Nah, I think I will manage."

I get to climb out of the car.

"AAHHH FÜCK!"

"Bro let me help you."

"It's fine, I am taking it off."

I pull up my denim as far up as I can and take my buddy off. I can see the horror on Matt's face as he watches me do it. His expression is blank and his mouth is almost gaping."

"Can you help me now, I don't think I have the strength to hop it on my own."

He stands there wordless just staring at my leg.

"Matt!"

He does not move.

"Matt! It's just a damn leg. Please help me."

"Sorry bro, that shit is sick."

"Hahaha, what is going to be sick is if I smack you against your ass. Please help me before the old man comes."

But it's too late, mom comes rushing out the door. "Clay, baby, are you okay? Matt said you got hurt."

"Nice going Matt," I glare over to where Matt is standing next to me. "For someone that lies to woman all day long, you are sure a bad liar when it comes to mom."

"Clay, what can I do?" my mom asks concerned for she has no idea what to do. "Tell me what you need?"

"Mom let Matty just get me inside first."

And then all hell breaks loose. My dad comes storming outside in full force.

"What is the commotion outside here for? You boys don't come home then you come throw up noise so early in the morning."

"Oh Richard just keeps quiet," my mom snaps at him. "Clay is hurt, just keep your judgemental ass comments to yourself."

"What are you on again about Denice?"

"

My father comes around to where Matt is helping me out the car. "WHAT THE FÜCK!

I completely ignore him as he speaks. "Matt, mom, please just help me up."

"Clayton what happened to you?" he carries on. "FUCK I told you not to go to that place. What happened to you?"

"Dad, please, not now" I beg as another sharp pain stings through my leg.

"Don't not now me," he completely ignores my plea. "What the fuck happened to you. Why don't I know about this? Why does everyone else know and I don't? What the fuck is going on here?"

"Dad can we please talk after I have looked at my leg."

"NO! We are talking now! When did this happen? I told you so many times not to go and you did not want to listen, look now what has happened."

"Richard shut the fuck up and get out our way! NOW!"

"But Denice look at the child,"

"Yes Richard, look at the child, he is your son, and right now he needs to look at his leg and not listen to your shit. Now get out the way. Now!"

Matt and mom take me to my room and I sit down on the bed.

"What do I need to do Clay?" my mom asks as they sit me down on my bed.

"Mom just bring me some warm water and soap. I got some gauze and bandage in that bag."

"Where is your painkillers bro?" Matt asks.

"In the bathroom, thanks."

"Do you want water with that?" my dad surprisingly asks

"Yes please, dad."

Everyone goes their way to grab whatever it is that I need. If I did not insist on keeping it from my boo, I would not be sitting here in pain but hey, at least my dad knows now.