Him really wants me

Giulia De Angelis

The proof of this is that I've come to kindly ask him to stop the insinuations of interest, but of course he's not interested, how could he be interested in someone like me.

I close my eyes trying to concentrate my thoughts on a single goal, there is no possibility of marrying anyone, of forming a family.

Dirty like any other.

You can turn now Giulia - I wake up the derogatory thoughts with a deep voice.

A little apprehensively I turn to take a closer look at the large living room with the infamous empty black sofa, the panoramic view of the city through a huge wall of glass and the huge man leaning against a black glass table wearing a tailored suit marking his muscular legs.

I get caught under the heavy gaze doing a meticulous analysis trying to see all my sins.

I suck in a breath trying to lessen the heat that spreads through my cheeks with the dirty memory of the sounds he made with the girl, I open the small bag pulling out the velvet box.

I came to return this. - I push the words out by stretching the hand with the object.

I look down too embarrassed, looking down at the polished luxury dress shoes with a small silver buckle, squinting, managing to decipher the Costello family symbol, when I feel the object being pulled.

I lift my head, analyzing the man opening the box, removing the jeweled bracelet and losing words as he tosses the box into a corner of the room without showing any kind of emotion by the sculpted face.

I feel awkward when in two steps he closes the distance between us, I look at the box thrown in the corner of the room and at his face, his gaze expressing a determination, I feel an intense shiver noticing that he pulls my left wrist with his long fingers, the hand covering all my skin making my body heat up in an indecipherable way, closing the bracelet around my wrist, stroking the exposed skin with my thumbs.

I can't accept it - I speak quickly trying to put a safe distance between us - Stop it Giacomo.

With what specifically? - The sarcasm oozes through his words, achieving the feat of achieving a kind of feeling erased for years.

To send flowers and gifts. - I answer firmly, feeling my cheeks heating up with anger at being ignored with her grotesque ways.

That bracelet doesn't match a single fraction of your beauty, Giulia. - The intense eyes together with the firm voice destabilize my legs - Also, why can't I send you flowers? - His voice sounds cynical.

It takes me a while to get my thoughts together and why I'm here, what should I do, I can't meet his dark eyes.

You're making everyone think you're interested in marrying me.- I say with some regret.

And why wouldn't you be interested? - I look at his face showing curiosity.

Your secretary had her mouth on yours… - I can't complete it- you know, and my brothers wouldn't allow it.- Completely speaking the truth

I'm not worried about them Giulia -Her hand holds my hip increasing the sensations that pass through my body, I'm startled by the affectionate way she looks at me. - But I would like to know what I need for you to want to marry me - The calm way you treat me is so...

Frightened by these sensations, I try to move away, being prevented by his strong hands.

How can you say you want to marry me if you were with… - I'm speechless to argue, intoxicated by the scent of the woody perfume.

I start to take steps back as his body advances, in an instant I realize I'm trapped between him and the wall, feeling the firmness of the muscles against my hands, I feel the fear coursing down my spine in the familiar sensation, when I'm going to be able to talk to someone without be a complete temptation.

I can fire that secretary and hire a 50-year-old old lady if you'll marry me. - I look up at him, amazed that he can for a single moment think of changing something about his company just for me.

I try to push him away, without any success, becoming more embarrassed for enjoying having my hands against his suit, wanting to decorate every trace of the fragrance of this perfume.

My brothers will never accept. - I say, trying to get back to sanity.

They don't need it, Bella - His left hand comes over my cheek, gently and carefully I end up sighing with the explicit affection. - I just want your acceptance.

I stare at the dark eyes now so wide open, leaving the emotions expressed in every feature marked by the cheeks, in the small dark circles marked the sculpted nose completing the square jaw drawn under the well-made beard, and the length of the hair a little longer compared to the other men in the family. mafia giving him an air of scoundrel. I need to take a deep breath which becomes a mistake when his scent is able to take the strength out of my body, I'm tempted by such beauty, how could I be a wife? What would it be like if I had the love of a man beyond my beauty?

I feel the weight I've carried for years knocking down the hopes he insists on giving at the same time that he would like the freedom to experience happiness, any in fact.

What's the point of my acceptance if it's Giovani and Vicenzo's decision? - I snort with the truth, I'm not a woman to marry, I keep that thought- I'll never end up getting married.

With the Don's blessing they will have to accept - His smile is able to light up everything filling my mind with an illusion. - If when he goes to talk to his brothers, you say that you accept, they will be obliged to have me as a brother-in-law. - The thought of leaving that house is a temptation.

The fingers open against my cheek, increasing the affection comforting the scars that you can't even imagine exist under this facade, I close my eyes feeling the fear leaving for a few minutes bringing a forbidden desire.

Giacomo - I open my eyes curiously - Why now?

My family party was years ago, because now he just starts talking like that, giving my broken heart hope. I don't even know why I want to believe him so much, this childish dream of being loved putting me in bad ways.

Because now I can be worthy of you.- With this declaration, I need to force my breath, how can he feel unworthy? I make a move to respond being silenced by the finger against my lips - Bella, I'm not a prince charming, but I can promise you to be a good husband and still save you from having to spend the rest of your life in that house with your brothers.

Doubt courses through my veins at this, the raw truth pouring out of the well-shaped full lips touching the wound. I'm dumbfounded not knowing how to respond at the same time I want to take him away from the risk.

Can I kiss you, Bella? - The whispered question as her face approaches mine, I've never kissed..

You're looking for trouble - I try to run away.

For you, anything mia bella .” She lifted my chin, placing her right hand on my hip. “You didn't deny my request, Bella.

With no time to respond, I feel her soft lips against mine slowly, I end up closing my eyes, feeling the caress making my heart flutter, while I feel it melt against his hand, holding it tight by the back of my neck. Not knowing what to do, I open my lips a little and end up moaning at the feel of his tongue with the taste of alcohol and mint.

My mind is clouded by the sensations of the kiss that starts to become stronger, I feel my legs shaking as I nibble my lower lip, causing a euphoria, unlocking so many things you can't even imagine.

I push his chest harder feeling my eyes burn from unshed tears, how can he care? ask me for permission?

I'm sorry - I'm sorry to wipe a runaway tear- Sorry, Giulia didn't mean to hurt you, I'll understand if you don't want to get married.

I'm scandalized by the apology, it's totally contrary to everything I've lived through since the death of my parents, that an honorable man cares about me soon.

Why do you care so much about my opinion Giacomo? - I need to know, I need to have something to hold. .

Because I've always watched you beautiful and far away knowing that I would never be worthy of being your husband, and now that that possibility exists - His eyes shine with sincerity - If I accept, my wife will be part of me, bella. How could I not care about your opinion.

I gasp at the statement, even more realizing that he really cares about me.

What if it's just a lie, if when we get married it's not real? -I ask trying to put hopes deep in my corrupt soul.

Ahhh mia bella, I can only tell you that the feeling I've been keeping here- He lifts my hand to place it under his chest, the racing heart beating under the suit - It's real.

I shudder at the statement, wishing I wasn't afraid, wishing I could build something real in place of the sandcastle I live in.

I've never been kissed before - I speak softly, seeking courage to speak a truth that not even he can change. - Giacomo, perhaps I should consider that I may not be worthy of you.

I see the surprise in your eyes at the same time I am disconcerted by the expression of disbelief, at no time since I walked into this office has this man put his will over mine is worse than that at no time has he shown that I am not worthy of his affection .

I will never be worthy enough for you, Giulia - The firm answer increases the urge to cry. - And now, I don't want to let any other man kiss you.

How can I make him give up this madness when now all I want is to have someone fight for me, as long as it's him.