hope is dangerous

Skin so fair, it's almost blue (on)

For every photo you take, I'll take two

Feeling strange, feeling strange, I was born against the current

I never quite know what to say, all I do is pray for rain-

Vampire at the swimming pool - Skylar Gray

Giulia De Angelis

I get inside the car, lost in my thoughts, the madness of thinking about escaping the prison in which I live, tormented by the taste of his mouth, attracting all the lost pieces of the heart that has been dead for many years. The dirty making itself present by the mind, raising questions buried deep in the consciousness waging a bloody war around the most painful memories, I took a deep breath looking for a calm and peaceful place, fighting against the inhospitable mind itself.

I've always been a happy, lively, playful child with a certain fear of thunder. What doesn't go through the mind of an innocent child is that there are greater dangers than thunder and that people are much scarier. I saw the dreams being killed one by one, without mercy or compassion having their wings cut with tweezers, slowly.

I was chained to the great De Angelis mansion, I still have my doubts if Giovanni was the one who negotiated so Stefanno wouldn't want to marry me, that was the last nail in the coffin of my hopes of getting out of there.

Now, Giacomo appears in shiny Armani-branded armor, making a flawless statement. Perhaps having lost both his sisters so quickly might have made him rethink his single life, which can be completely belied by the scene I caught inside the office. And like an idiot I let him touch me, I sigh, wrapping a strand in my fingers, the memories igniting the desire that he insisted on erasing, now coming back with a vengeance, I cross my legs and check Dominus's gaze on the road.

I wish I hadn't believed his words, much less that sincere look, it would have done less damage to my confused mind. I was prepared to deal with rejection one more time, although what I said today doesn't guarantee that you won't reject me when you find out my secrets.

I run my hand over the jewelry, imagining the moment I'll need to hide it inside the jewelry box, at least at that time the guys must be taking care of business. A moment of peace in the middle of my week is something to be cherished.

That's if the soldier isn't ordered to watch my every step inside the house, it's been so long since I've been excluded from family organizations that I don't even feel that much difference being at home anymore. Sometimes I stop admiring the clear sky wishing I was a bird to fly away from the walls.

They would bring me back with wings chained so I wouldn't take the risk, then the punishment would come without fail. I lean my head back on the bench, enjoying the few minutes of peace I still have before arriving at the property, I close my eyes and the woody scent returns.

What if it's real? If everything he said is real, and this is my best chance to get out of hell, getting out of the mafia is impossible and the infamous executioner must not be a kind man yet I feel so much sincerity in every one of his ways of looking, in some moments I could swear that I looked with admiration.

snort…. as if anyone had something to admire in this chaos wrapped in expensive clothes.

I'm jerked out of derogatory thoughts with the car door opening in front of the mansion's stairs, I go downstairs without an ounce of will. I follow the stairs through the door opened by the housekeeper.

Miss. - I stop when I hear the soldier's voice.

My shoulders feeling tight with the fear of being caught, I turn slowly, waiting for him to unleash some blackmail. The indifferent face.

Your brothers asked to let you know that they had an emergency trip. - Speaks calmly heading towards the kitchen with the housekeeper.

I need a minute to recover the strength of my legs with the scare, I mentally thank you for the time further away from the two of you.

I run down the stairs hiding my smile until I walk through the bedroom door. I keep looking at the white ceiling reflecting on the madness I committed in that office without being able to reduce the size of the smile looking at the jewel in the wrist remembering your words, hitting my walls like a demolition ball. I kick off my heels, tossing myself onto the bed along with my bag.

It's a mixture of fear and hope afflicting the little barriers of my world in every way. I feel the strange feeling building along with the anticipation for Friday to arrive quickly, a hidden moment from this hell in those warm arms.

I hear the sound of my cell phone beeping, ending that little happiness at the thought of the kind of warnings Giovanni might want to pass on.

I put my head in the soft duvet looking for strength to come back to reality, contradicting him won't help and it takes even less time to respond, with that I pull my bag, taking my cell phone, I see an unknown number on the app.

• See you Friday, Bella*

I jump in bed with the nickname, how did you find my number?

Ah Dio he is the enforcer of the family of course getting a number should be something easy, I get out of bed nervously walking across the room not knowing what to answer. My brothers traveled in a hurry, something could have happened, if it did, did Giacomo go too?

Or does he just want to reinforce your desire to have lunch on Friday?

I just don't know what to say, what can I say?

I go to the bathroom wanting to wash my face to think discovering red cheeks and bright blue eyes in the reflection, per Dio, Vincenzo will see and find I did something wrong, I can't put him in this family mess.

I bite my lower lip, squeezing my thighs with the sensation of kisses marked in memory corrupting everything I was taught, kisses without pain full of caresses, soft touch igniting a pain full of desire without hurt or punishment.

The girl reflected in the mirror is the same girl I dreamed of fondly, which might be silly considering he has every reason to cheat, not even my family.

But what good has my family done for me all these years?

Just let Giulia go, I think.

I wash my face, removing the little makeup I put on before leaving, I dry my hands on the towel with the coat of arms, admiring the golden thread adorning the white fabric, bringing an exquisite air to such a small piece while emphasizing the importance of that name in the middle of it. we live in, boasting all the luxury the De Angelis family can have.

I run back to the room wanting to grab whatever crumbs fate has decided to offer, maybe the prayers might be resulting in some forgiveness for my sins, I close my eyes and take a deep breath. Since it all happened I've completely lost hope and now seeing some form of light in those dark eyes hits my chest hard.

Careful, go back to lunch

I quickly delete messages without saving the number on my cell phone for fear that I might be discovered, smiling expectantly, even if I have to face some lions to go to this lunch, I know it will be worth it is what I prefer to think about instead of admitting the truth, running from two executioners does not make one better than the other.