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Chapter Five: Heartache

I was completely taken by surprise at the statement Elijah just hit me with. He loved me? I mean, as a friend I always felt but as a lover? I look away from Elijah in this moment trying to process what he’s just said to me. I think back to all of the times we’ve caused mayhem, however I only recall those times as banter between two friends.

Glancing towards Elijah, I take in his current appearance. He’s very fit for an elven ranger and definitely works out. His muscles bulge under the thin fabric the Elves wear, even in the winter. He has always kept himself composed but today his black hair is ruffled up giving him a bad boy look. He currently has a beaming smile on, with his brilliant teeth. His eyes are a deep green with specks of brown, like most elves.

Thinking about the whole situation deeply and thinking back to all of the time I have spent with Elijah, it seems as if he’s never really glanced at any of the elven maidens who seem to pine over him…Does he not take notice because of me I wonder? I’ve never thought about it before now, but now…now I am unsure. I’ve spent more time with Elijah than anyone else here, because he reminds me of home in a way, mostly being in a place so safe around those who make me feel safest.

I look my dearest friend in the eye and begin to roll the truth out “Elijah…..I do love you, but not in that way. You were the first person I met who reminded me of my sanity and had bought me into your humble home, showed me kindness I had not seen in a long time. We’ve bonded in ways I’ve not bonded with anyone before, even before I left my home, my real home.”

Tears start to form and I can feel a few roll down my cheeks which is a feeling I have not felt in a long time after closing myself off from the world and learned to be brave. “But I must leave. This is not my home, and I’d be surprised if I ever felt somewhere did feel like home again. There are forbidden rules here that stops us from ever being together if it ever were to come to it, and I have always respected the rules here. I need to find a purpose, my purpose for being the only human alive, and I won’t find it here. I’m sorry Elijah, I hope you’ll understand.”

I looked at Elijah through my tears and could see he looked destroyed. We sat there, hand in hand for a few moments before he embraced me. “I understand little duck. I know you feel that way and I shouldn’t have let my feelings get this far. Just know I will always feel this way for you and I won’t feel the same for someone else, at least not in a long time.” He let go of me and stood up to the side of the bed.

“I’ve got to go now, I’m back on duty after skiving.” He laughed and started heading towards the door.

“Eliajh?” I called as he was going through the door.

“Yeah?”

“How old are you?” I asked. It had been playing on my mind since the Elder mentioned he was thousands of years old.

“I’m only Sixty-seven, still pretty young if you ask me!” He winks, and walks out closing the door behind him. I sit there, shocked for a few moments and brush it off, I guess it’s a good thing Elves don’t have interspecies relationships, possibly because they live for years beyond their partners.

After Elijah left the room, I sat and thought about the ‘what ifs’ about having a relationship with Elijah. It was now on my mind but it just felt so wrong. I did, in a way, love Elijah and I guess if we were to go for it, it could work in the long run. We had many things in common and generally enjoyed each other’s company. But deep down I know this is not where I am meant to stay and have felt this way since I first came into the community. This was always a half-way place. I know I couldn’t stay with the elves, as lovely as they have all been. That and the fact that it was strictly forbidden to have any sort of relationship with any elf here in the Druida community unless I became one of them in a forever bond. It was once of the first things I learned when I arrived here, that and of course no weapons, murdering or looting, which is obvious enough.

As I sat, continuing to be consumed by my own mind, I was suddenly startled by Orla clicking her fingers in my face. “Hello? Sorry love I didn’t mean to frighten you, but you’ve been sat staring at the wall for about five minutes, did you really not hear me come in?” She asks as she giggles.

“I’m really sorry, just in a really deep thought.” She takes a side glance at me and continues to fold some sheets at the side of my bed. “I’m here if you need an ear. But I don’t have those results yet, should be this evening” She says, inviting me to have a conversation with her, which I’m a bit unsure about.

“Can you tell me how this special bond works? Before the light hit me at the ceremony, Elder Dioder was telling everyone that the Goddess gave all Elves a special partner or something like that” I ask, trying to recall the information that was provided.

Orla thinks for a moment, as if trying to recall the whole speech herself, when she follows on. “Of course! I’m surprised you don’t already know but then I assume no one has mentioned anything because you are human.” She brashly stated without flinching, but then quickly apologised before she noticed I flinched “Oh, sorry petal, I didn’t mean it like that, I meant that I don’t think anyone thought to tell you because it is only given to certain…species?” She composed herself after realising how she worded it and then straightened herself out.

“So from what we have seen or well, been told, only certain species are given the lovely gift of being given the other half to their soul. The species we know that have this gift is elves, vampires and werewolves. The bond is never confined to its own species though, for example, an elf has been known to fall for a vampire.” She stopped here, seeing the look of confusion on my face so I stopped her there.

“But wait, I thought that interspecies relationships weren’t allowed in this community?”

“They’re not, but that doesn’t mean that an elf cannot leave the community to be with their beloved. It just means that they are not allowed back.”

I pondered on this for a few moments, thinking that Elijah was maybe thinking of doing this for me and I was worried that I may have been the other half. “Do you know when you have found the other half of your soul? Does the other half know themselves?” I inquired, hoping that Orla would know the answer.

“Well, most times, both parties will know. My husband and I are destined to be together. When I first looked at him the whole world was swooped beneath my feet and I immediately found the second beat to my heart.” She said this whilst also blushing thinking back to whenever this happened. “It was the same for both of us as soon as the other turned a certain age. Twenty-one I believe it is for elves….but I do not know if it would be the same for a human. From what I have seen in books, if it does happen then the human would feel an incredible attraction to their other half. I guess it is the same as what humans call falling in love.”

I felt some relief that this was not how I felt towards Elijah. I loved my friend and he may have felt some love for me, but if we were to ever elope and he then found his soul mate I would be destroyed or he would be knowing he’d have to choose, which is not something I wanted to involve myself with. I’ve let my friend down greatly but I hope it won’t last long for him.

“So do all elves find their destined other half?” I asked thinking about Elijah never finding true love.

Orla thought about this for a few moments before replying. “The Goddess gives one to each of us, she can sense when they will meet. She would never give one to someone and not allow them to ever meet.” Orla then took the several sheets she had folded and started towards the door “I’ve got to look over one of the other patients I have, I’ve left some books over there on the counter for you to read. Don’t worry, they’re in the common tongue so you can understand them.” She winks at me and then closes the door behind her.

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