Difficulties

Chapter one

"Gwen!" I heard the voice of my stepmother and my heart made a sudden thud.

I quickly drop the mop in my hand and rush inside.

What have I done this time?

God, please, I want to eat breakfast. I want to.

I ran inside my stepmother's room. She's standing and looking down at the bed with an annoyed face.

"Here I am," I say and she looks at me. If looks can kill, I should be dead with the stare my stepmother is giving me.

"What did I tell you about these bed sheets?" The intensity her voice is carrying isn't good and I'm really scared.

I raise confused brows, "I don't understand what you mean ma," I try to be simple so she would be convinced.

But, before I know it. She moved nearer and hit me across the face.

The intensity of it makes my vision go blurry for some moments.

When I eventually look up, I discover I'm sitting on the floor. I must have fallen with the impact.

Hot tears sting my eyes and I couldn't even blink them away. I struggle to keep my stamina instead so she wouldn't come back and pounce on me.

"Are you still there!" Her dangerous voice gave me the strength to get up quickly. I rush out of her room, back into the sitting room.

My cheek hurts so much and I couldn't stop crying.

I don't know why I have to go through all this trash. I don't know why I have to be born if this is all I will ever pass through.

My name is Gwen Brooks and I'm twenty-two years old. My father is dead, he died five years ago.

Well, I never cared. I didn't even cry when he passed away.

He never loved me and I didn't love him either.

Though, I never knew why he hated me so much.

I have been suffering under his nose. There were times when I would get slapped or beaten because I didn't clean the room earlier or I didn't wash the clothes. And my dad wouldn't say a word about it.

I have been suffering ever since my mother died. That was when I was ten years old. I miss my mom, I miss her.

I know I wouldn't have been in this position if she was alive.

What should I do? You might wonder.

I don't have anything else I do asides taking care of the home.

I have sisters and they are way younger than I am. But they are not allowed to do anything that would make them dirty.

I am a maid, a keeper, a slave, an assistant, and whatever they wanted me to be.

I've always hated my life.

I've always cried.

I've always expected help but I stopped hoping.

I stopped wishing I would ever be happy.

I got out of college but my stepmother wouldn't let me further my education. I've always wanted to go to university.

But even while I was in college, I've always hated my life.

Heidi and her sister were always making life much harder than I was scared of going to school then but I had to complete my education.

Then, I thought my only way out of the mess I called life was by studying harder and becoming something worthwhile in life.

I had hoped to get a scholarship but my dream got shattered when Heidi kept the book I was supposed to read for the exam.

Anyways, here I am. Battered and badly maltreated.

"Gwen!" Heidi calls and I rush to the dining table. I know the consequences of lagging behind or not being fast enough.

Even though I'm older than she is by two years, yet I am only allowed to be on the receiving end. She must be the only one to slap and hit me and I'm not allowed to do so.

I move closer and bend my head slightly, also part of the rule.

Heidi stares at me for a while before sitting. Her sisters named Elsa and Dixie giggle before sitting too.

"We are hungry. Serve us our breakfast," Heidi commands. She's always commanding.

"Yes, I will be back," I tell them and dash into the kitchen.

I had woken up at around five this morning to cook. That was my usual routine. I'm not meant to sleep off. The last time I did that, I almost died.

I dish out the food and stare hard at them.

I feel so hungry but I'm not allowed to eat until I'm done with the morning chores which is always at noon. No matter how much I tried to get used to it, I will never do it.

I take them to the dining room and bring them a glass of juice each before I continue mopping the floor.

Maybe I can eat earlier today if I finish up on time.

I finish up and run to the laundry room. We have a washing machine but I'm not supposed to use it. I'm always washing my hands.

While I was rushing to move out, my legs slipped and I ended up on the floor. I stay still for a while and look out into the air, perhaps I would see my mother.

The tears came back and I didn't even try to stop them. Cries and sobs have always been my comfort these days. They are also my hobbies. While I blame my fate on myself, and my father, I also have to admit that my mother has a huge part to play here.

When she knew she was going to die, why did she give birth to me?

She could have killed me the day she was going.

When I walk inside now, Heidi and her sisters were done eating. I take the plates and resume washing them inside. When I was done, I dish my food out and start to eat inside the kitchen.

I'm so hungry that I didn't even sit while I eat.

"Gwen!" Heidi's high pitched voice rings in the air.

I sigh, frustrated. Why is she calling me now?

I drop my food and rush out again, almost choking.

"Yes".

She gave me long scrutiny before she look away now, "You are going to follow me somewhere"

What?

My head did a flip," Today?"

" Yes," she didn't look at me as she made the announcement that's going to shatter my day the more.

I'm so damn tired and what I want now is to sleep. Why is she bothering me?

Heidi looks up at me, with thick brows and a scary look, "You don't want to go?"

"Please," I plead softly, "I want to stay at home. You can go anywhere with your sisters. Just leave me out of it this time, "I say softly with so emotions and also praying she would give in.

Instead, she stood up and hit me across the face. She and her mother have both resulted in hitting my pitiful face. I wonder when my cheek would fall off.

But the thing is, her slap hurt less, unlike her mom.

"Did you just defy me?" It wasn't a question, yet it felt like one.

I couldn't talk, I just watched her.

"Don't mind her sister," Dixie says, laughing in between, "Let me intervene," She says and I felt a surge of happiness as I expected Dixie to beg Heidi on my behalf.

She got up and walked to me, "Sister, what I can say here is that you have been getting so easy with this girl. You can't imagine this girl said your slap isn't as hurtful as a mom".

What! My eyes shot out with fear.

Just how did she know?

I stare at Dixie and quickly think of a way to defend myself but nothing was coming to the head I call mine.

Dixie looks at me again, in a sly manner, "Am I lying? Will you lie if you didn't talk about it yesterday night? While you were cooking?"

That's it!

I've just dug my slave.

I kneel immediately, my eyes already teary. I know what Heidi can do. I know what Heidi will do.

I feel so much in pain already, I don't want to add more.

"Please Heidi, please. That was not what I meant"

Heidi looks at me and I saw the rage on her face. I bet she's thinking of skinning me alife.

"You said that?" Her face registered annoyance mixed with wickedness. There's absolutely no way I would describe how she looks right now. She's damn scary.

"No! I didn't, I_," I was forced to a stop by the slap on my face. Blood gushed out of my nose and I felt dizzy all of a sudden. Also, I felt pains and blood on my cheek.

Before I know it, I'm laying on the floor and my eyes were closing. Perhaps, death was coming.

I couldn't tell that but I know that pains have taken over all of my body.