Chapter Five: Ezra

I watched Lacey walk out of the apartment and shut the door behind her, leaving me staring after her wondering what in the hell I’d just gotten myself into.

One month. Of no sex.

One month of no sex.

Fuck me. I wasn’t sure if I could do it.

Sure, I could brag to Lacey like that would be a piece of cake, but honestly, I wasn’t so sure. Sex was my life. Sex was, well, everything. How could I survive thirty days without getting my fix? Sometimes I felt like a drug addict. I guess there were sex addicts; was I one of those?

“Fuck.” I went to the liquor cabinet to make myself another drink, feeling restless already. I knew that if I left my apartment and went downstairs to mingle, it would be a matter of minutes before women were throwing themselves at me, hot and sweaty and ready to fuck. I wasn’t sure I trusted myself to be around them, honestly. But what could I do? Just hole up here for the next thirty days? That wasn’t feasible. I was a club owner. I owned the damn place. I couldn’t hide forever.

Or could I?

As if I needed to give Lacey another reason to call me lazy. She hated how little work I did already, and sadly I knew she was right. Most of this club was run by her, and to say otherwise would be unfair. She was the reason Club Phoenix was what it was, period.

And I needed her at Elijah’s wedding as much as I needed air to breathe, water to drink, and food to eat.

Since childhood, Lacey and I had been best friends. She had been there through my parent’s ridiculous divorce, her who had comforted me—and even Elijah—as my folks screamed at each other downstairs. She was like family to me, but she was also more than that. I needed her to be there to help me stay sane. Without her, I didn’t think I’d be able to do it myself.

That’s not the only reason you want here there, I mused. You want to see if this vacation would change anything between you.

I shot back the remainder of my drink and sighed, taking a deep breath. That was the truth, too, even if I couldn’t admit it out loud. A full, romantic week in Hawaii with the woman I was secretly crazy about? Talk about opportunity knocking on the door! But it didn’t matter, and I knew that because Lacey wanted more than I wanted, and I couldn’t just string her along like that. She knew what she wanted, and all I knew was that I didn’t want to settle down. I couldn’t. Not at the risk of going through a messy divorce and losing her from my life forever.

I set my empty glass down on the bar, then crossed the floor to slip my flats on, convincing myself it was time to go downstairs and mingle. First, I had to stay sober. If I got too much liquor in me, all bets would be off, and it hadn’t even been a couple of hours yet. I was stronger than that. Lacey knew as well as I did that when I wanted something and put my mind to it, that was all there was to it.

I could do this.

I would do this.

I would prove to my best friend that I didn’t need to fuck anyone for thirty days. And when that happened, she’d have to go to Hawaii with me. That’s all there was to it.

Downstairs, the music thumped against the walls, and hot, sweaty, excited bodies danced and writhed together on the dance floor. Women in scanty clothing eyed me as I passed them, licking their lips like hungry animals, popping their breasts out. You could say that I had somewhat of a reputation, and word got around.

This wasn’t going to be easy.

“Hey, boss,” our bartender James said as I approached the bar counter. “The usual?”

“No, thanks, man,” I said, clearing my throat. “Can I actually just get a coke?”

“Rum and coke?”

Next to me, a young woman I’d seen around here once or twice sidled up beside me, and I had to focus on James instead of the chick’s breasts. “Ah, no, just a coke.”

“Oh,” James said, looking taken aback. “Sure, boss.”

“Thanks.”

“Hi,” the girl said as James went to fill a glass with ice. “You’re Ezra Trevino, right? The owner of this place?”

I sighed inwardly, pressing on the most charming smile I hoped didn’t make it seem like I was checking out her rack. “I am,” I said, offering my hand. “How are you?”

“Great,” the girl said, her eyes lighting up. “I’m Melissa. My friends call me Sissy for short.”

“Okay. Cool.” I took the glass of soda that James handed to me and took a sip, knowing damn well that I would be on edge now for an entirely different reason than just being sober. Fuck, why had I ever agreed to this?

Because you need Lacey, the tiny voice in my head reminded me. You can’t survive a week in Hawaii with your family without her. You can’t survive without her, but you just can’t admit it.

“Hey, well, it was nice to meet you, Melissa, aka Sissy,” I said, finding that extra push of motivation that I needed to keep my dick in my pants. I stood up and shook the girl’s hand. She looked sorely disappointed that I wasn’t inviting her to my apartment. I was disappointed, too, but I just had to get over it. Now wasn’t the time for sulking. I had a bet to win.

Taking my plain coke, I headed back upstairs but took a left to go to Lacey’s office instead of my own apartment. I knocked on the door before going in, not really surprised to see one of my servers and fill-in employees, Tilly hanging out with her legs flung over the chair when I came in.

“Oh hey,” she said, waggling her heavy eyebrows at me. “There’s the man of the hour.”

“Talking about me?” I asked, and Lacey giggled.

“Someone is always talking about you, Ezra,” she said with her charming, childish smile. “You know that.”

“All good things, I hope.” I plopped down on the empty couch near Lacey’s desk, watching my best friend frown at the computer screen in front of her. She had her reading glasses on, the cute, black ones that made her look like a nerdy librarian. She’d also pulled her hair back since I’d seen her not long ago, and a brown tendril fell from her head and cascaded over her shoulder, falling from her messy bun. Somehow it was just so … endearing.

“Drinking still?” Tilly asked, pointedly looking at the glass in my hand. She glanced with Lacey, who shrugged, then looked back at me. “How will you stay abstinent if you can’t stay sober, Ezra?”

I shot a glance at Lacey with a sigh, who pretended not to notice my irritation. “Tilly, it’s just soda. Besides, what are you even doing up here? Why am I paying you to hang out with my secretary?”

“Excuse me,” said Lacey, taking the glasses from her face. “I am much more than just your secretary, Ezra.”

“I know, Lace.”

“Okay, point taken,” Tilly said with a dramatic sigh, dragging herself out of the chair and to her feet. “I’ll go work or whatever and leave you two to mingle.” She went for the door, resting her hand on the handle, and then turned back to look at Lacey and me. “Don’t do anything naughty up here,” she said. “This door doesn’t lock.”

“Tilly, get out,” Lacey snapped, and we both shook our heads as she walked out and shut the door behind her.

“So,” Lacey said, replacing her reading glasses as she turned again to look at me. “Are you ready to give up yet?”

Yes.

“Nope,” I lied, taking another drink of the bland-tasting soda. It wasn’t the same without the booze to numb the overwhelming feeling of sexual grief that felt to be oozing from my pores, but it would have to do for now. “I’m excited for this, actually,” I continued. “It will be like a breath of fresh air. What is it they say? Distance makes the heart grow fonder or something.”

“Yeah,” Lacey mused. “I don’t think that’s the same thing. Like, at all.”

“You know what I mean. It’s a nice challenge. Once I complete it, now only will I have won this bet, but I can go right back to fucking—”

“Yep,” interrupted Lacey. “We all know, Ezra, that fucking is what you do best. No need to tell me.” Something in her voice caught me off guard, and I hesitated, wondering what I’d done to piss her off.

“You okay?” I asked timidly, and she sighed, rubbing her temples. Another strand of hair escaped from her messy bun, and I had the fleeting urge to reach out and tuck it back behind her ear. And feel the softness of her skin beneath my fingers.

Kiss her.

Fuck her.

“I’m okay,” she said softly. “Sorry for snapping.”

“You don’t have to apologize to me,” I said. “You just need to be honest with me.”

She looked up and smiled, but I could tell it wasn’t necessarily genuine. “I’m fine, Ezra,” she promised. “I am looking forward to winning this bet, however, because I know as well as you do that you’re not going to make it longer than a few days.”

“A few days?” I repeated. “Such little faith you have in me.”

“I’ll give you the benefit of the doubt and make it a week,” she said, and this time the grin was genuine. “One week before you lose all self-control.”

“Don’t kid yourself, girl.” I got to my feet, swallowing back the last bit of coke in my glass. “I just look forward to proving you wrong. Now, if you’ll excuse me, I need to go to bed to avoid the temptation for the rest of the night.”

“Good luck,” Lacey called after me. “You’re gonna need it.”

I was exhausted and dragging by the time I finally went home, yawning back to my tiny one-bedroom apartment downtown. It was nothing special, just a private little flat in an only semi-sketchy neighborhood, but it worked for me. I spent most of my time at the club anyway, but I was trying to make it a habit to go home and get actual sleep. I didn’t have to spy on Ezra, either; if he screwed up and lost the bet, he’d tell me. If he was anything, it was honest.

I still hadn’t bothered calling Carl back, and I knew that I probably wouldn’t. After all, I already had my hands full with Ezra. I didn’t have the time or the energy to deal with a man like him. But even though the decision was made not to deal with it anymore, part of me wondered if it was his fault or my fault. Tilly and Ezra had both been quick to tell me in the past that sometimes I sabotaged relationships before they could begin because I was afraid of the commitment. And while I wasn’t necessarily sure that that was true, I had to admit that sometimes it did feel like I was ready to throw in the towel before my date was. But—there was a reason for that. And that reason came in the embodiment of my best friend.

I didn’t know how long I’d been in love with Ezra. Not really. For as long as I could remember, honestly. Often, that was a bitter pill to swallow. I knew Tilly meant well when she told me to forget about him and find someone else to focus on, but it was easier said than done. Ezra had been the one constant in my life for a very long time. He’d been my shoulder to cry on when my father walked out on my mother and me when I was in fifth grade. And then again, when my mom got sick years ago. When I lost her, I felt like I’d lost everything for a while. But I hadn’t, not everything, because Ezra was still there. He always was.

Our relationship had bloomed over the years. We were more than just friends; we were family, and at this point, I knew that he probably saw me as a sister and never saw me as anything more. I wasn’t Ezra’s type, and I knew that. I’d spent years watching him screw one long-legged woman after the next, and not even once did his taste change. He was a man who knew what he wanted, and it wasn’t me. That wasn’t even all of it, of course. Not only did I know that I wasn’t Ezra’s type, but I also knew how much he was afraid of commitment. Sure, he tried to tease me about it, but no one on the face of the earth feared commitment to Ezra Trevino's extent. He wasn’t ready to settle down, and I wasn’t sure if he would ever be ready. Ezra would make it to his death bed for all I knew, never having married or settled down, but certainly sexually pleased. I wanted more than that. I wanted a good man, a happy, stable marriage. And someday, maybe even kids.

Fatigue washed over me as I kicked off my shoes by the front door, locked it, then went to the tiny bathroom to shower off the day and night. As the hot water poured over my skin, soothing me, I thought of Ezra, hopefully alone in his bed right now. I thought of how cute he looked sleeping, how he sometimes snored a little bit when he was extra tired, or the way his brows crinkled when he was dreaming. I longed to be in bed next to him, running my hands over his body, pressing my lips against his rock-hard abs.

With a small moan, my hand slipped below my navel, and I pleasured myself under the steam of the hot water, thinking, as always, of Ezra. Then I closed the curtains to my bedroom, fell into bed, and slept soundly for the next nine hours.