She didn't survive

"Is it you?"

I laugh at his amazement.

"Yes, I woke up yesterday but nobody wants to tell me anything" I explain. I feel the gaze of the lady at the counter on my neck.

"I'm going there right now. What room are you in?"

Visitors are prohibited at night, so Jason could climb the same place that I suppose the boy who had jumped out of my room window moments before must have climbed. Because I can't explain any other way that he entered other than that, since being on the second floor he is not very high either.

But of course, I can't tell you all that in front of the lady, so I use a game that we used as children to speak in code.

"Jason, extreme sauce-soaked little utensils have great reviews but love them. Second, for the spider, he has no friends. Two hundred eleven"

The lady at the counter looks at me as if she has gone crazy, I offer her a smile and hand her her phone, thanking her, and then return with the dropper to my room.

But what I've told Jason is:

You can climb, the second floor two hundred and eleven.

It is a simple word game where you say random words and only takes their initials, except for numbers or proper names. As children, we played here in the hospital when my mother worked and there was no one to take care of us, so we knew the hospital by heart.

I wait about half an hour and I take the opportunity to stretch my arms and legs when I hear some noises. I look out the window and see my best friend's brown hair crawling up the pipe.

"Oh, Romeo" whisper. He raises his head and smiles.

"Oh, Juliet" He responds looking at me hopefully.

Once upstairs, I help him pass through the window. He stands in front of me, looking into my eyes with fascination and a halo of sadness. He runs a hand over my face and then pinches one of my cheeks. I frown, I don't understand what he's doing.

"Tell me I'm not dreaming" he murmurs. I lift my arms carefully and wrap them around his shoulders, hugging him.

"You are not dreaming" I whisper to him.

I notice how his arms surround me and he sighs. When we part, his eyes are wet.

"You remember?" Refers to the accident. I shake my head. I do remember something, but they are blurry memories.

"I woke up yesterday and did not understand anything, a few hours ago I went to the archives room and looked in my file. Two broken ribs and one arm, bruises, tears, stroke, and a three-month coma" I recite it to him as if I'd memorized it "What happened, Jason?"

His eyes get wet. A tear slides down his cheek and I wipe it away with my thumb.

"It was the day of the end-of-year dance. The three of us were on the way in my car, singing a song at the top of our lungs, distracted, when around the corner, a car coming from the opposite direction crashed into us" Breathe deeply. "My car gave a full turn, my airbag jumped and prevented it from going off but ... " His voice and hands are shaking. I don't like where this is going.

"Keep going" I encourage her. Although a lump begins to form in my throat.

"But not yours. You hit your head against the glass of the car and I couldn't see anymore because I lost consciousness, but I know you appeared outside the car"

I close my eyes and the images I remember from that day come to my mind. I already remember. Tears begin to fall down my cheeks, as does Jason, causing us both to cry.

"And Ali?" I ask, hoping that she's okay.

Jason doesn't answer me, he just stands there, looking guiltily into my eyes.

No ... no ... I shake my head. Taking out of this the thoughts that cross me and that do not carry anything good.

"What happened to Ali, Jason?" I repeat. I hear a sob from his side and he rubs his eyes. He still does not answer me and I feel that something inside me breaks, I have a huge lump in my throat that does not allow me to swallow saliva and my legs are weak. "No, right?"

He already knows what I'm asking him and he nods.

"No no no. Jason no, please. It's impossible, my best friend can't ... She can't ..." I'm unable to say it.

Right now I just want to hug her and for her to tell me another of her stupid phrases, for her to discuss anything silly with me, or force me to wear makeup. I don't care about everything, I just want to see her, I want to be with her.

"She didn't put the belt on, she didn't put it on, and... she shot out" Wait a few seconds. My breathing is failing at times. I feel like I can't breathe. A huge beep starts ringing in my ears "This is all my fault. I'm so sorry"

A swirl of dark clouds my vision as the air I should inhale runs out.

"Jason" It's the only thing I can say before my legs give out and I fall to the ground in a faint.

XXX

When you have everything planned in life, you know that something can always go wrong.

Because if something is clear to me, it is that things never go as you expect.

Finish high school, get a scholarship to study abroad, or go to one of the best universities in Brooklyn with your best friends; finish my degree, have money, a house, a life ...

But suddenly, something goes wrong, that switch is turned on that has to screw everything up, that damn switch. And you don't know what to do anymore. You are lost and aimless, you have lost the anchor that held everything, your point of support, and you just want to go back ...

It's been two weeks since I found out about her loss ... Just two weeks and it feels like years. But I can't stay permanently in shock. My father always taught me that I must get ahead despite everything, and now more than ever I am not going to fail him.

"Honey, there are fifteen minutes until high school begins" My mother watches me from the doorframe of my room with compassion in her eyes. I hold Ali's silver necklace in my hands, the one she always wore with a small daisy dangling. She loved those stupid flowers.

I look at myself in the small mirror on the dresser, it shows by my appearance that I have not slept for days, I have been having nightmares since I recovered from the memory of the accident.

"Will you fasten it?" I ask my mother, removing my hair from her so as not to make it difficult for her. She does it and gives me a motherly smile, which makes me feel like I'm not alone and gives me enough strength.

"Are you okay?" she asks me cautiously. I nod and touch her hand resting on my shoulder from her, returning her smile from her.

"Give me a minute"

She leaves my room and I take the opportunity to shed the tears that she was holding back, but I wipe them away quickly.

"You won't cry" I tell myself "New day, new life"