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1: Miser and the Stairs

“I know that I’m not supposed to say this but you check all the boxes”, Mr. Lawson said without looking up as he shifted his glasses to better read the documents. Sophie almost blushed but managed to maintain a straight face. She just nodded, half wondering if that would be taken as a rude gesture. It wasn’t. The interviewer was a revered retiree of the company whom the owner wanted to drag as much as he could, so he had offered him a contract job. He was in his seventies, stood just below five feet tall and wore plain formal attire along with suspenders and a bowtie. He was a plump, clean shaved man with hair full of stark white hair. The man’s sincerity and competence were unmatched. Genuinely impressing a man like him was no joke. She was exactly what the ad had asked for. She was even over qualified in some cases. After a long look at the papers, the interviewer put down his glasses and rested his chin on his hands that stood on the table on the support of the elbows.

“Any other stuff that couldn’t be put on that piece of paper?”, the interviewer asked. Sophie looked in the air for a moment and responded, “I am always attending some sort of professional training course, so I have only mentioned the relevant ones”. Mr. Lawson was surprisingly impressed further. He sighed and closed the folder that was offered by Sophie. He pushed it forward and spoke, “Okay, all things are in place. Now for a question that is a mere formality”, he put his weight back on the backrest of his chair and added, “Why do you think you are suitable for the job?”, Sophie had practiced the lines far too many times to mess this one up.

“My family always used to say that there was never any way to make me lose my cool, so I decided to try Customer care to make the most of that skill”, Sophie responded with the smile. The smile was returned by Lawson and he asked if he could ask a personal question, Sophie nodded. “If you don’t mind me asking, isn’t this your first job?”, Lawson spoke. He was beyond formalities at that point. The deal was done so he had resorted to small talk to pass the time. Sophie nodded again. “Then how the hell are you so seasoned?”, Lawson couldn’t help but ask. Sophie grinned and replied, “First job but a ton load of failed interviews”. Lawson would have punched the person who rejected her and she could see that on his face, so she added, “Aimed too high”. Lawson chuckled and Sophie felt embarrassed.

“You know my father used to tell me a story. I don’t remember the moral of it so I help myself to anything I can get to”, the interviewer said and Sophie listened keenly. “A miser was beating up his son. A passerby saw it and inquired. The miser told him that his son broke his new shoes. The next day, the miser was beating the kid up again. The same passerby happened to see it and so he couldn’t help but inquire again. The miser said, ‘I bought him new shoes and told him to climb two stairsteps at a time to reduce their usage’, the passerby was puzzled so the miser added, ‘this moron ripped his pants trying to climb four at a time“, Lawson barely finished the joke with his out of control laughter. Sophie found it hard to laugh in agreement. The joke was at least a generation older than her but she knew some characters personally who would do that. When he had finally taken over the reins of himself, Lawson explained, “I take many different meanings out of it according to the situation but right now, it tells you to take one step at a time to preserve your dignity”.

Sophie hadn’t expected such a friendly atmosphere but she wasn’t complaining. Mr. Lawson motioned her to pick up her resume and told her to expect a call from the company. Sophie understood that the gesture meant that their conversation had reached its end. She picked up her belongings from the table and walked to the door.

“I’m not one of those who vend out recorded messages. When I say that a call is coming, you can count on it”, Lawson added from behind her. She turned back to offer a grateful nod but saw him packing up himself. She had probably been the last on the list or he may had concluded that there was no need for any more candidates. She exited the office.

Sophie stepped out of the building and found herself surrounded by officegoers blathering on their earpieces. It was like a stampede. Sophie was blonde, stood five feet tall and wore a black suit over a white shirt. The outfit suited her long and straight blond hair. New York was being as ruthless as it was colorful. People who bumped into others neither bothered with apologies nor did the people on the receiving end expect any. It was a norm. People on the road didn’t acknowledge one another. Black suits filled the view. They were too consumed by their jobs, stocks and businesses. Sophie herself looked part of the picture because of the typical lawyer-ish attire she had picked for the interview. Even the coffee places were packed with men and women having video calls on their expensive laptops. Sophie decided that if she was to have a minute of peace, it would be anywhere but this place. Thinking of the place of peace she realized that her phone had been on silent for three hours now. When she rummaged her bag for it, she found what she feared, “15 missed calls”. She knew exactly who was behind them. Fourteen of them were from her mom and one from her best friend Chloe. She decided to callback but her mom didn’t leave any need for that. Just as Sophie was about to make the call, her mom beat her to it. The phone buzzed and her mother’s flamboyant photo from Sophie’s last birthday popped up.

“Hello Honey! I was worried sick. Why weren’t you answering the phone?”, Sophie’s mom rambled on as soon as Sophie tapped the green button. The massacre went on for a few minutes until she finally vented out all of the steam the fourteen missed calls had mounted up.

“I had an interview, remember?”, Sophie responded as soon as she found the brief gap in the scolding. “Of course, I remember that but …”, her mother was firing back when Sophie interjected, “Was I supposed to answer your phone during the interview?”, Sophie retaliated. There was a brief pause. “But he would have understood!”, her mother dealt the final blow that couldn’t possibly be countered and Sophie thought to herself, why did she even bother explaining?

“So how did it go?”, her mom abruptly asked. Sophie’s stomach was growling like a lion. She ran her eyes for any street food in the vicinity. “They said they’ll call”, responded Sophie.

“Oh… Isn’t that a pleasant way of saying ‘piss off’?”, her mom softly replied. Sophie strolled through the crowd of sharply dressed zombies. She motioned a hotdog vendor to prepare one as she gripped the phone with her shoulder and used her fee hand to pick a dollar from her coat pocket. “No, this one feels different”, said Sophie. There was a bunch of sounds on the other side. Sophie could imagine the different kinds of dance routines her mom was performing. “Just don’t spill the beans yet! Wait until it’s on paper”, Sophie said as soon as she sensed her mom come back to the earth. She knew her mom so she expected to hear all about it from her relatives an hour later. The hotdog was ready. There was a brief pause.

“Did you tell your dad?”, her mom hesitantly put in. Sophie knew the question was coming. She was planning to play the “I was too busy to call anyone” card but she had exhausted that option calling back her mom. Her mom’s inability to keep things to herself would make things worse if Sophie didn’t break the news first. “Is he home?”, Sophie softly asked and took a bite on the hotdog.

“Another one of the damned meetings”, her mom responded with a sigh. That gave Sophie an even better excuse.

“I’ll let him know when I get back”, she said and both parties knew that that concluded the phone call. She stood idly for a few minutes and enjoyed the hotdog. She texted Chloe, “Got it!!!”.

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