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CHAPTER 6:

Day two of pretending not to care

I walk around the halls of the school not wanting to see Ruby, I don't think I could handle

being rude to her by just walking away. She's been nothing but nice to me. Jake's here

today, he doesn't care that we aren't on speaking terms; in fact he's rejoicing, when I catch

him looking his smirking and being too laid back for my liking. D*ck.

My twin brother has gone back to being an asshole, it was all expected though. So no

surprise there. It usually happens. For a week or two, maybe a month he is extremely nice

and we actually act like siblings then after that he goes back to being a fa*got with Chad. But

I'm pretending not to care remember? I'm hoping that this works and they will stop picking on

me and actually treat me like I'm a human being. But I honestly think I'm dreaming. Nick

needs to remember that I'm the one with the car... he's an ass so dad hasn't got him one.

I've gotten numerous "hi! How are you?" From people that I don't even know and didn't care

before. I'm guessing that they are trying to get on my friend list cause they thought I was

dating Jake. Everyone likes to pry in other peoples business so they can know the gossip.

People always ask the simple questions "hi! How are you?" But they never really want to

know. Have you noticed that? They don't care, they just say it because they pity you. I bet

that if I went to hospital right now then people would notice me, it's just how or society is;

lucky that I don't want to be noticed.

"Faye, you absolute angel," Chad throws his arm across my shoulders and grips the

shoulder he is opposite to. I look at him and roll my eyes.

"What do you want f*ck face?" I hiss at him, an amused expression crosses his face and he

chuckles at what I said.

"Such kind graceful words for a young lady like you.... I see that you have no friends

whatsoever, so I guess my plan worked? Where's that boyfriend of yours?" He taunts me like

it actually bothers me. Okay it actually does but he doesn't need to know that.

"Oh he's somewhere in the future... but Chad honey.... at least when I make friends, they

won't be fake and using me for popularity." I pat him on the chest 'sympathetically' and shove

his arm away from me, after giving him a pitiful look I walk away hearing him mutter 'b*tch'

oh I know honey.

An easy going smile is across my face constantly when internally I'm screaming, I hate

everyone. Maybe there's a good reason why I had no friends, they end up hurting you in the

end anyway as I've heard. Maybe gods looking out for me and saying 'Faye mate. You don't

need friends! You're going to hate everyone in the end anyway buddy.' Yeah. Maybe god is

looking out for me. And them....

"Faye, is that you?" My eyes widen and I spin around quickly. Ruby. Abort. Abort. I repeat￾ABORT!! I'm about to get the f*ck out of here but she grabs my wrist, preventing me from

doing so. "Why are you avoiding everyone?" She raises her eyebrows, I look around

awkwardly and feeling guilty.

"A-avoiding you? What are you talking about? Pfft-" she cuts off my lame act of pretending

that I haven't been avoiding everyone when I actually have. 1- I hate Jake Collins. 2- this

friendship will most likely end soon. 3- I'm going to get hurt and I don't want that. 4- I will hurt

someone along the way. 5- I HATE JAKE COLLINS!!

"Oh shut up, we all know that you're avoiding us. Cut your act and stop pretending. Is it

Jake? Has he done something to upset you? Or is it your stupid ass lame brother and his

pet?" She rolls her eyes. I rip my hand away from her as if she's burned me and I clear my

throat.

"Jake is an asshole, Nick is an asshole, Chad is an asshole; they all have something in

common. But I'm not doing this because of them, I'm doing this because of me. In the end

our friendship won't work and either one of us or both of us will end up hurt, I'm calling quits.

I could handle being alone before and I sure as hell can handle it now," those words all hurt

to say. She looks hurt and it makes me feel guilty.

"How can you do that so easily? You obviously weren't doing fine before because you're

obviously scared! That's why you're calling quits, people don't just do that!" She shouts, she

doesn't seem like the person to shout and it shocks me. This almost feels like a breakup, but

I don't really know what they feel like so....

"You think this is easy for me?! It isn't! In the end I'm going to look out for myself because its

been me! No one else, I'm the on that protects myself and I'm the one who is there to pick

myself up when I'm crying or hurt," she looks shocked.

"Who makes you feel like that?" She whispers.

"What are you talking about!? I just said I pick myself up, I didn't say anyone has hurt me,"

but I know she can read straight through me.

"Who?" She repeats making me take a step back.

"No one. Just stop it and leave me alone," I whisper and turn my back to her, running away

from her.

||

"Hi honey! How was your day?" Mum chirps as I throw my keys on the kitchen bench and

drop my bag onto the chair.

"Great," I mumble making her furrow her eyebrows.

"No. My mother alert is going off like crazy, what happened?" She takes a seat and pats the

chair next to her. I sigh and plop my butt down hastily.

"Mum, I'm fine-"she cuts me off sternly.

"No. Something is wrong, tell me Faye. You can trust me, I'm your mother and I want you to

know that I'm always here for you and you can tell me anything. I would never judge you at

all and I'm always here to support you," she's acting like I'm pregnant....

"I'm not pregnant mum," I deadpan, she smiles and waves me off.

"Of course you aren't! Now tell me what's wrong."

"Is there something wrong with me?" I ask, she frowns on confusion. I'm a confusing person

and I end up messing people up.

"What do you mean? There's nothing wrong with you darling," she softly says.

"I don't think you get me. But mum, have you ever felt like everything around you is

happening so fast and it won't stop? And all you want is it to stop because it's like you're the

one walking in slow motion. You try to slow things down but that makes things worse, then

you end up hurting someone," her mouth opens after I say this all in one breath.

"Somethings wrong with me," I cry, she wraps her arms around me and hugs me tightly.

"Oh sweetie, nothing is wrong with you... the world just seems to have a problem, remember

that when it feels like the world is falling apart- there's always a light at the end of the

darkness and you'll find your way out," I sob and hear the door open.

"Faye, what's wrong?" I hear my fathers worried voice, he's in overprotective father mode. I

cry harder and I feel another set of arms wrap around me, it feels like something is wrong

with me. It feels like I'm out of place, like I'm not supposed to be here. It feels like I'm

supposed to be the girl with no one but herself, the girl that constantly gets hurt. And I'm

stuck. They say that when one door another opens, well they lied... the door closes and

you're just stuck.

I'm stuck.

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