Chapter 5

HAZEL'S POV~

"Family, love, and all strange things."

Whenever I hear people complain about their partners, parents, or siblings. I usually get bored with the conversation because I couldn't relate. I recall going on a blind date with someone one time, it was one of my missions. The young man spent the whole evening complaining about his parents and sisters. By the time I went home, he had written a complete book on how much trouble his family gave yet according to him he lived with them and wouldn't have any other way. My question was " why was he complaining?"

Family, love, and friendship are concepts that are unfamiliar to me. You know what they say about families being the ones that always stay... well in my case, mine never stayed.

I recall trying so hard to be the perfect daughter, never asking for anything, and staying as quiet as I could. Still, all that effort was continuously washed down the drain. No one asked why an eight-year-old showed up at school with a bruise on her face or volunteered to replace her torn worn-out shoes. No one sought to befriend the little girl that lived at the corner of Lane's street. All that little girl got was bubble gum stuck in her hair, a harsh slam into lockers, and cheap gossip from classmates. She was a lonely baby bird tucked away in a nest of bitterness.

All those lonely nights in my room, spent hearing my mom's screams as the monster descended on her. I didn't have to see for myself to know what was going on. Red was the only color my pupils knew at that time, mom's cheeks were constantly swollen and filled with tear stains. So when darkness offered comfort, I didn't hesitate to grab it.

I watched as the nurse rolled in a woman tightly clutching a teddy bear. Observing her features, I could point out the similarities between the two of us. Her ginger red glowed as she mumbled to the bear on her lap.

"Blake," Miss Waters greeted me giving me her usual motherly smile. "How have you been?"

"I've been okay. How's she?" I asked my mother.

" She's been doing really well. Her medications have been renewed and she's been getting much sleep" After the accident, mom was never herself. At first, I thought she was just her usual sadness, but then she started having nightmares that kept her up at night. I noticed she was eating well. At that time I had just hit puberty. She neglected me, barely saying more than a few sentences to me. Then one day and came home from school to see that she wasn't there instead a woman who introduced herself as a relative took me in.

"Hi," mom called, finally looking up from the bear.

"Hello," I returned forcing a smile.

"Do I know you?" She asked curiously. "I love your hair." I squatted down to her height as I let her play with my hair.

Deep down I was still that little girl. No matter how hard I tried to run away it always came back to me.

"Did you know I was once a daughter?" She whispered softly with a smile on her face "S-he...She" pausing for some time before continuing.

"She died."

Tears I tried holding back spilled down my cheeks silently, and I turned away wiping them off.

"Are you okay?" She asked again with concern.

" I'm fine, I'm okay," I wasn't though. Seeing the only family member I had not been able to recognize was painful. I thought that one day when I finally found her, she would be waiting to embrace me with open arms. All those cold hungry nights she was the only reason why I could smile and pretend to be okay. I held on for those years searching for her only to finally see her like this. I first found her in a psychiatric hospital with very few facilities. She was neglected and barely got any treatments because there were no relatives or friends to foot her bills.

I took responsibility for that, making sure that she was in the best facility and getting the best treatments. In return for all these years of hard work, I got nothing other than little moments like this when I could pretend that she was still here and spill my fears to her.

She is all I have left. I couldn't just give up on her. I've been trying so hard to be strong for both of us but on days like today questions of "what if keep coming to my head.

" I'm Lauren, call me Laurie," she introduced, reaching out for a handshake.

Grabbing her fragile hands in mine, I smiled back weakly.

"Blake, call me..." I paused recalling the name she used to call me. "Lakey."

"Oh, Lakey," I sucked in a breath as the name rolled off her lips reminding me of all our happy days as mother and child.

"So Lakey, what brings you here?" I watched as she patted the teddy on her lap as if putting it to sleep.

"I came to visit a loved one," I said, looking out onto the fields in front of us.

We were under a shed behind the facility, I sat on the pavement while she was in a wheelchair.

"Did you see them?" She inquired still focused on what she was doing.

"No," I replied shrugging. "I don't think they would know me if they saw me."

"Why?" Now she was looking up at me.

"Because..." I was trying my best to hold back tears. "Because they've probably forgotten me."

"Oh," she mumbled silently. "I would never forget my daughter," at this rate I couldn't hold back the tears any longer just then Miss Walters stepped out of the back heading towards us. Not waiting for her, I stood and walked away. Wiping the tears spilling down my cheeks.

Just then, I got a call from Jimmy informing me about a new mission tonight. As I prepped for work that evening, I wondered if she was ever going to remember me, at least before I lost myself completely.