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Chapter 3

Persephone

My first day in a new life, I can't contain myself with so much happiness, I passed the vestibular, I can't believe it! I PASSED IT!

I am the first in my family to enter a university, not just any university of my dreams.

Since I was a little girl I dreamed about that place, the community where I live has a privileged view of the building, its ramps and stairs,

The interest only increased when, at the age of 12, my grandmother started baking cakes and sweets and selling them to the staff and teachers. In the morning I would pick up the orders and in the afternoon I would deliver them, all freshly baked.

I, Dona Maria's granddaughter, Dona Alice's daughter, would talk to professors and doctors at the big university, there I got my first philosophy and literature books, and started to dream.

I want to be a teacher, I want to change lives, I started with my grandmother, I taught a 68-year-old lady to write, it was the most beautiful thing when I saw her signing her name for the first time.

Little by little the neighbors knew that I was teaching my grandmother, and they came with their notebooks and pencils and soon there were more than 15 people scribbling their first letters.

When I finally passed the university entrance exam at age 19, I felt like I was floating in a black sky with shades of golden yellow and blue, like in Van Gogh's paintings.

My little voice told the whole community that her granddaughter was now a university student.

My mother threw a party, the relatives and neighbors came, and without wanting to, I became a celebrity.

Society will never understand what it is like for a child from a community to enter university, every poor mother who saw her grow up feels proud because of that little piece of people.

On my first day of class I had so many expectations, so many dreams, I wanted to feel every second.

I wanted to savor every second of knowledge that I was able to assimilate until I saw him.

It was him, the tall, handsome man with clear eyes, who wandered my dreams. His image brought me immense happiness and deep sadness.

He looked confused with a piece of paper in his hand, it was a little funny to see such a big confused man, I started to follow him, for a few minutes. Until I realized his desperation and went to his aid, and smiled.

He kept looking at me as if I were the only thing in the world, and for the first time in my life I left my shyness aside and spoke, God how I spoke, without having any notion of what was coming out of my mouth.

As I left him at the door of the history department, my heart ached when I declined his invitation for coffee, that which was pulling me toward him was pushing me away with the same intensity. So I ran to my classroom, keeping in mind that he probably wouldn't find me.

My last class was introduction to pedagogy, and I had my hands full with library books and texts. I still felt very excited about all the knowledge I had acquired. There he was, sitting in the hall on the 12th floor, with two cups of coffee to go, with that look in his eyes that made me feel naked while still dressed.

That man would be my abyss, I could feel it in my bones, he was a one-way ticket straight to hell with no stopovers. He opens a big smile, God what's wrong with my legs that don't move?

He approaches like a wolf stalking the hunted, but why did I think of wolves and the hunted?

-I brought you coffee.

-Thank you, but you didn't need it.

-We Greeks don't like to owe favors, especially to beautiful women, agape mou.

-You don't owe me anything, and what do those words mean in Greek?

-One day you will know.

The abused man takes my hand without my permission, his touch is so warm, I have been cold all my life but finally I had found warmth.

-I would never forgive myself if I didn't thank you for the morphiá mou.

I have no idea what morphiá mou means, but it is so good to hear.

-Come sit with me. - We sit on the benches in the hall and he continues talking with his hands wrapped around his coffee cup. - I know it's a little late for this but, my name is Hades, I'm from Thessaly, Greece, I'm a professor, actually a researcher.

-I'm a freshman.

-You said.

A silence fell as we drank our coffee. He looked at me with the purest blue eyes I had ever seen.

-I won't be able to stay long, I work until 6:00.

-Can I take you out to dinner later?

-I teach a class later.

-Class?

-I'm a volunteer, at the church, in youth and adult literacy.

-Literacy?

-That's right, I teach youth and adults to read and write.

-I'm a very beautiful and selfless girl, it's not every girl your age who thinks so much about others, it's admirable.

-I'm not like girls my age

He looks deep into my eyes and kisses my fingertips, a shiver runs through my whole body, lodging itself between my legs.

-You still haven't told me your name?

-Persephone, my name is Persephone?

Something in his face changed, Hades looked like he had seen a ghost or something.

-And the name of a Greek goddess Persephone is a goddess that was part of the religiosity of the ancient Greeks, being considered goddess of agriculture, vegetation and the underworld. She was kidnapped by Hades, became his wife and queen of the underworld, and was forced to spend part of the year living there. - He takes another sip of coffee - Do you believe in past lives or soul mates ?

I take a deep breath, it was tremendously foolish to believe in past lives, even more so in the years 2021, I had recurring dreams about that man, he made me feel things I never felt just by holding my hands, but soul mates and crazy.

I shake my head no.

-Well, I think we have a lot to talk about, give me your cell phone number.

He holds out his cell phone for me to write my number on.

I could only do what any idiot would do, write down my number, hoping he would call me. Let the woman who has never given her number to a complete stranger cast the first stone.

I gave him back his cell phone so he got up and went down the ramp to the elevator.

I sat there for about 15 minutes trying to understand it all.

I left college going straight to my grandmother's house, her sweets had won the world, we had a small store and sold the sweets to bars and some places in the region, it was nothing extraordinary, the money we made wasn't enough to make us millionaires, but it was enough for my mother to leave the family home she had been working at since well before I was born. In reality I never understood why my mother worked 22 years for that same family, she would go early on Mondays and come home only on Saturday mornings, my grandmother raised me, it was always just the three of us.

When my mother quit her job, they gave her congratulations and a pat on the back, no labor laws, no bonuses or anything like that, I wanted her to go to the domestic workers union, but she refused to take any action against them.

Well, my birth has always been an unknown, I never asked her who he was, or where he was, she would never hide it from me, I never asked, I never missed it.

The day she feels like telling me about my father I will welcome it, but I don't think I should torture her with something that makes no difference to me.

I work at the store every afternoon and in the evenings I volunteer at the literacy program for adults at N. Senhora da Conceição Parish.

My grandmother is a devotee of Our Lady of Aparecida, she is one of the old-time devotees who makes herbal tea for everything and prays for "fallen spinal column".

She married my grandfather early when she was 16, my grandfather was a traveling salesman and stole her from the family, in fact they met at a São João party, after a stolen kiss she was already completely in love so when he knocked on her window the next morning she didn't think twice about jumping out the window and climbing on the back of the "homi with the beautiful smile".

They came to Rio de Janeiro and built a little house, and that is where we live to this day.

My grandfather was a good man, he died quietly lying on the old sofa in the living room after a Vasco game.

I don't remember, but my grandmother always said he was a big man, he would take me with one hand and throw me up, and I would bend over in laughter that filled the house with happiness.

I always dreamed of having a love like that, a man who would make me jump out the window and run away, even without money or a house just the love of the two of us would be enough.

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