Chapter three

I stood in the street, with no idea where to go to. I had no other relatives asides from my father that I knew of, and I was already beginning to rethink leaving home. I was just eighteen years old, with no hope of food, water, clothing, or shelter.

"You can't go back, Camilla." I reminded myself of the many nights he had deprived me of sleep, just to satisfy his urges.

I sighed. As soon as I turned ten, I realized that this wasn't normal. But I couldn't do anything about it. I'd give myself reasons why he behaved the way he did. I'd defend him in my head, I told myself he did it as a coping mechanism. But when I had finally mustered the courage to ask him to get a wife, he had proved to me that he wasn't doing this because he couldn't get married. He had been using me all along.

He just wanted it to be me, and not because he couldn't get married. It was inhumane to come to the party he threw me in marching outfits with me, just to make everyone that would be in attendance admire our relationship, and give him praise for being such an amazing parent. He would spend lavishly on me, and make promises to me in the presence of everyone. As soon as they leave, I would be left to my sad reality.

It was like a veil had been removed from my eyes, suddenly, I could see him in all his wicked acts. Everything he did was to get the spotlight on him, and not to make sure that I was okay. He just wanted to be applauded, to be pitied. To be consoled for the loss of his wife.

"I can not go back there." My mind was made up, but I still had no place in mind to go.

It was only a matter of time before someone from the house would come after me. And I didn't want to talk about it. I had no destination at heart, but I was determined not to stop until I had found somewhere comfortable to spend the night. It didn't have to be the kind of comfort my father gave me, but at least, it would be somewhere conducive. I still had to worry about school, and about how to feed. I had no clothes supply with me either. All I had was my phone and his credit card. And I had destroyed the service provider that my father could use to reach out to me. It meant that I had lost connection with him, and with everyone else. With that settled, swiftly, I paddled ahead.

I took a stop at a shed when I noticed it was past noon. And bought some junkie meals to eat. I was so angry, I had forgotten to take breakfast, although it was my birthday. But the tiring effect of the scorching sun and the weakening the hunger caused reminded me to eat. I was lucky that I had my father's credit card with me, I usually had it with me everywhere. He might deny me access to it soon, as a strategy to get me to come home, but it wasn't going to work. That was certain.

I continued again on my path. I had walked three kilometers, and I wasn't ready to settle down yet. I knew my father as a very possessive man, and I also knew he could do anything to get me back. He might have already fed the guests for the party with lots of untrue stories, but I was sure that Shully who had witnessed our clash wouldn't keep quiet about it. I tried to picture the look on people's faces when he'd tell them the party has been canceled, and that I had gone missing, but I couldn't. I tried to picture Shully screaming into his face, and cursing him, and I giggled at the thought of it. It wasn't meant to be funny, especially because I was the victim in the picture, but I found the thought of Shully bullying him funny. I also pictured her calling the cops on him. Even if she did, he was most likely not to be apprehended, because she had no proof. My absence did seem like proof, but my father was a great liar.

I took another stop at a public bench, a few hours later, and I realized that I had walked from sprawl city to another city that I didn't even know was down the road. I got to know that it was called Tramun city and that it was filled with a lot of dangerous people. The lady I spoke with asked me not to be at the bench until it was six pm, or I might not like what would become of me. It sounded funny that a beautiful city as it was would be made up primarily of criminals, and that they didn't hesitate to waste anyone who came their way. According to her, there were lots of mafia gangs in the city, and as long as you belong to none, you are unsafe.

After thoughtfully considering it, I paid for two weeks in a hotel, and I was surprised that he hadn't blocked the card yet. I disliked the fact that I had to survive on my father's money, especially because we weren't on good terms anymore. But I didn't have any choice. It was either that or face the risk of sleeping in the streets. It wasn't completely safe for me to use the hotel either, because I could be traced by the transactions that I made. I was asked why I was in a hotel alone, instead of at home with my mom and dad, by the attendant, but I did not answer.

She minded her business and gave me a reservation. In a way, I was grateful that I was in Tramun city, which lacked no order, and not in Sprawl city. Because she would have called security on me, to take me back to my parents, if this were to be Sprawl city.

The night of my birthday was equally a dreadful night for me. I couldn't stop rolling from one side of the thirty-two inches bed to the other. The mattress was comfortable, and the bedspread was clean. But I still couldn't fall asleep, try as I may.

I yawned over and over again but still couldn't fall asleep. Visual images of my father's dreadful acts played in my head. It was impossible to get it out of my head.

The following morning, I was up by six. Waking up meant I had eventually fallen asleep. I was genuinely wishing I had died in my sleep than wake up to my awful life.

I stared out of the window, at the blue sky, and the rays of sun that blinded me stood pretty in the sky. I heard a knock on the door. It wasn't the sun that had woken me up, it was the knock on the door.

"Come in." I was still gazing at the sun. It looked so beautiful from the eastern view, this morning.

"Your father is downstairs, he said to send for you."