CHAPTER 5 Then Why Divorce Me?

"If what you said was true, that I am someone who is worth keeping and worth loving. Then would you mind telling me why the hell do I need to sign our divorce paper? Why are you throwing all the good things we have away?"

Johann's POV

I had another full bottle of liquor after I dropped the divorce to Kendra. It was supposed to be a test, but it ended with a bitter taste. So here I am early in the morning, drinking incessantly.

She was fucking smiling for goddamn sake. She didn't argue or even have a violent reaction. She just simply agreed to what I said. I could still picture in my mind how she took the news well.

"Does it mean she was still in love with that man? Does it mean she never loved me at all? Am I the only moron who didn't get it at all?"

I sighed, battling my own thoughts in the middle of the night, alone on the couch. I lost track of the time, and while I could still hold my alcohol, I better get back to my room.

Trying to find my balance, I used the wall as my guide to go back to my room. A few steps after, my feet stumbled into something… or rather, someone.

My forehead kissed the carpeted floor, while my whole body ended up in a cushion-like texture, soft and smooth.

When I directed my eyes, I saw my wife, Kendra, beneath me, unconscious, probably soundly sleeping. The aroma of her skin lingered around my nostrils, turning me on, my body heat on.

Damn! She's really gorgeous. And she smelled so good.

I shook off the thought and found my footing first, then slowly picked up my fragile wife and carefully walked into our bedroom.

After I gently placed her on top of the bed, I soaked myself in the tub until I sobered up. I steamed off my body heat to avoid any unnecessary actions tonight.

I can't ask her to do that, right? Not after I demanded her divorce, I scratched my head real hard and submerged myself in deep water thinking,

Am I doing the right thing? Should we really divorce? Does she really want to? Thought rumbled in my mind, yet one question prevailed.

"Do I want to?"

I opened the table lamp beside me so as not to wake her up. But the moment I laid my eyes on her, I knew I should have done that.

The light shadow and the vibe coming out of it emphasized her beauty much more.

A strand of brown hair blocked my view, so I brushed it off behind her ears. Once again, I was face to face with her, satiating my eyes with this goddess look. I traced her cheeks, her nose, and her lips with my fingers before settling down on my seat across from the bed.

Her beauty is second to none. Until now, she's just plain gorgeous, so perfect in every way.

Reminiscing the first time I laid my eyes on her, I held my breath, I was madly in love with Sandra back then, but your features and personality didn't give me a hard time accepting you as my wife. Now here we are, married for two years.

I uttered these words knowing she didn't hear a thing,

"I thought we had a thing, but it was all just a misunderstanding. Sorry if I read your signals wrong," I mocked myself for being so stupid.

She grunted and turned over, and now her body got closer to where I was sitting. I gulped as I tried to hold her hand. To my surprise, her eyes opened before our kin touched her, and quickly withdrew.

Although her lips were sealed, her eyes said it all, how puzzled, baffled even, to what I was doing.

Embarrassment engulfed my whole being and pushed me to give a lame excuse, "Uh, well, the blanket. You might feel cold, you know?"

Damn right! Way to go, dude! I scolded myself for giving a ridiculous excuse. Her brows raised, feeling dissatisfied.

I cursed myself and clicked my tongue, then sat down on the edge of the bed.

"How am I here?" she finally saved me from misery.

"I stumbled over you on my way here. I thought you were already asleep."

"I must have passed out," then she put her palm on her face, "Well, uh, thanks?"

I saw her getting up from bed so I halted her, "Where are you going?"

"Guest room. We will divorce soon, so–"

"No, stay!" I insisted. "I told you I will be a good husband until our marriage is over."

It was obvious she didn't want to. She's probably hurt, so she responded, "It feels awkward. I c-can't sleep with you here."

"Don't let me spend my last days as a married man alone, that would feel lonely," I even joked around. Not knowing the damage I caused her. I even grabbed her hand to stop her from going.

But her next words put a strike in my heart, "You'll remarry soon. You don't need to worry about it. I am sure you'll be happier with Sandra."

There it was again, her smile, her sad sad smile. Though smiling widely, her eyes said otherwise. A thought entered my mind invasively, "Will I? Will I be happier than with you?"

But right after what I heard, I freed her hand, "Stay here. I'll go to the guest room." She was right, now that divorce is on the table, there's no reason for us to sleep together.

"Are you mad?" she asked with worry painted on her face. So I faked a smile and answered, "No!"

"However, you must not forget what we agreed before getting married," I reminded her of our little conversation.

"Which part?" her eyes focused on me.

"That you'll be the one to break the news to Grandpa. You know he fancies you. He won't refuse your request. Have you thought of the reason for our divorce?"

She shrugged her shoulders, she seemed clueless on what to do, "None yet. But yeah, I'll help you out with that. An agreement must be fulfilled."

"Great! Then how about the man you loved before? We can use that. Grandpa will surely understand that we at least tried," I asked. At some point, I was able to insert the topic.

"Uh, that? Well, sure. We can do that. Although it's impossible now. Still, it sounds reasonable," her voice was cold and uninterested.

"Impossible? And by that you mean?"

"That man will soon remarry the love of his life. So I don't stand a chance now, do I?" she shortly responded.

"Remarry? You mean he is married now, and you are still in love with him?" my voice couldn't help but raise. For two years, I never beat a married man in her heart? How ridiculous! Why do I feel so insulted?

"I know right? How stupid of him to throw away every good thing just because his own ghost came back," I saw her snicker.

I know how hard it must have been for her to talk about this, so I gave her some comforting words, "Well, it's his loss, not yours. That moron lost a precious gem like you."

"You think so?" she sounded surprised.

"I'm telling the truth," trying to convince her.

"Then why divorce me?" the sarcasm was heard, but I chose to ignore it. Then later on she smiled at me and went back to bed, not waiting for me to leave the room.