Chapter 7
Never in my entire life have I felt so much pain. Even when I was forced into slavery and had my innocence taken from me, had I never felt this much heartache. I guess when you are being denied the one thing that was made to love you, it makes you feel like nothing is worth anything anymore.
2 weeks ago my mate rejected me and now I am a shell of who I really am. I don't really talk to anyone anymore. Not even Dan or Maria. I do my job and then I take care of Alessandro. He has taken a great liking to Dan. Every time I see them together it hurts to know that my baby won't get a good father figure in his life. Sure he can have uncles and friends but he needs a father and his is a sick r*pist bastard.
I guess you can say I changed these past two weeks. I promised I would never love my mate again but every time I see him I can't help but love him more no matter what he did to me. He will always be my mate, my true love.
Every time I see him with a girl hanging around his neck, I can't help but be jealous that they get to touch him and kiss his while he doesn't spare me a glance. Life just isn't fair.
I gently pick up Alessandro from his crib. He has been very fussy lately. He has been waking up in the middle of the night crying then falling asleep only to wake up crying again. I am really starting to get worried. Maria told me that it was normal for a baby to wake up at night but to me it doesn't feel right. I know his cries but the ones I hear at night are like he is in pain.
His gentle cry brings me out of my thoughts as I try to see whats wrong. I have checked his diaper, took his temperature and made sure everything was good but he keeps crying and it makes me cry as well.
"Shhh it's okay baby, mommy's here. Mommy's here." I coo at him. His whimpers died down. I felt tears well up in my eyes as I look down at him. His long beautiful eyelashes are wet with tears. I can't ignore this.
I wrap Alessandro in a thin blanket and make my way to the living room where I know I will find Maria. It is about two in the afternoon so I know that she is reading her book while having a cup of tea to relax her.
"Maria?" I said quietly. Maria looks up from her book. Concern flashes in her eyes, probably because I have tears rolling down mine.
"Sasha, sweetheart what's wrong?"
A sob comes out of my mouth. "Something is wrong with him. I can feel it"
I clutch my sleeping son closer to me as he whimpers in his sleep gently rocking him.
"I know you said that him waking up in the middle of the night is normal, but I know deep down that it isn't. Something is hurting my baby."
No one can deny a mothers instinct. I know something or some one is hurting him.
"I'll call the pack doctor right away" Maria says as she takes out her phone and calls the doctor to the pack house. "Why don't we wait in your room."
I nod my head and make my way to my room with Maria trailing behind. I make my way to my bed cradling Alessandro. I rock him back and forth but he still whimpers. Then I decided to sing for him. A lullaby that my mother use to sing for me. A lullaby that I sang to myself everyday while I was on captivity. The Blessing
"In the morning when you rise
I bless the sun, I bless the skies
I bless your lips, I bless your eyes
My blessing goes with you
In the nighttime when you sleep
Oh I bless you while a watch I keep
As you lie in slumber deep
My blessing goes with you
This is my prayer for you
There for you, ever true
Each, everyday for you
In everything you do
And when you come to me
Ad hold me close to you
I bless you
And you bless me, too"
I continued to sing even after I felt my baby fall asleep. My wolf told me not to stop because this too also calmed her.
"When your weary heart is tired
If the world would leave you uninspired
When nothing more of loves desired
My blessing goes with you
When the storms of life are strong
When your wounded, when you don't belong
When you no longer hear my song
My blessing goes with you
This is my prayer for you
There for you, ever true
Each, everyday for you
In everything you do
And when you come to me
And hold me close to you
I bless you
And you bless me, too
I bless you
And you bless me too."
The room was quiet when I finished. There were no sounds made and nothing needed to be said. I will always love my baby.
A small knock on the door brought out that peace as Maria opened in letting in a middle aged man who looked very tall and clean face. His features were soft and his dark brown eyes let off a comforting feeling. His hair was cut very short and looked nice on him.
"Hello, my name is Doctor Ryan Clark. I was called in to check on your baby." His light voice sounded as soft as his features making me believe he rarely raised his voice. I nodded my head as him as he gestured for me to allow him to come close.
"If you would lie him on the bad sweetheart, that would be great."
I gently placed my sleeping baby on the bed as Doctor Clark put on some gloves and reached in his bag to get something. I stayed next to Alessandro running my fingers through his little locks that are dark and slightly red.
"Alright lets take a look at the little guy."
Doctor Clark put something in his ears while putting the end of the thing to my sons chest.
"What's that?"
Dr. Clark looked a little startled but smiled at me that made me want to smile back.
"This is a stethoscope. It allows me to hear the heart beat better"
"Oh" was all I said letting him continue to find out what is wrong with Alessandro.
He gently took of his onsie leaving my baby in just a diaper. Dr. Clark made a weird face as he checked the baby's stomach.
"What is it?" I asked almost frantically.
"Are you breastfeeding?" He asked me.
"Yes"
"Has anyone ever given him something that could be bad for a baby?"
I had no idea. I thought over the last few weeks. I was either cleaning the rooms and sulking over Zeph that I had no idea. I usually let Maria or Dan take care of my baby.
"I don't know. Maria?"
I looked over at Maria as she thinks over everything. She shakes her head.
"I haven't done anything out of the ordinary. The only thing I gave him was some apple juice."
A concentrated look came upon the doctors face. "Is there anyone else you know of that could have given him something?"
Dan. He was the first person that popped in my head. I looked over at Maria but she is already taking out her phone. I turn back to Dr. Clark.
"Is he going to be okay?"
"As soon as I find out what he has been eating we will fix the problem as soon as possible."
Maria soon came running back in the room. I didn't even know she left.
"Honey. Dan has been feeding him honey. He didn't know infants cannot take it" she rushed out.
"Alrighty then. We have figured out the problem." I sighed a breath of relief. "Here is a prescription of medicine that he has to take twice a day for one week. It is liquid so it should be easy to feed it to him. Also make sure he drinks a lot of water. Yes you can still breast feed but in between those time feed him a little bit of water."
I nodded my head as he gave me a slip of paper. I looked down at the paper and almost cried. I can't read what I am suppose to give him.
"Hey what's the matter?" Dr. Clark says putting his hands on my shoulders.
"I-I can't read" I sobbed out. I am so pathetic. My son needs medicine and I can't even read what kind he needs. I failed in every way of being a mother.
"Hey, hey its okay. Shh, everything is okay." He pulled me to him and was amazed at how comfortable he is and for some reason I felt a little connection. Not like a someone to their mate but someone you were meant to find that will always be there for you.
I wrapped my hands around him and tried to stop my sobbing with him soothing me. I eventually stopped.
"You okay now?"
I nodded my head and pulled away. I looked at the slip of paper in my hand.
"How about I go and get the medicine for you." He asked looking at me with a smile.
"You would do that?"
"Of course."
"Thank you Dr. Clark. Thank you" He gave me a smile and a small kiss to the forehead. I heard a growl coming from the hall but I ignored it thinking my mind was playing tricks on me. No one would growl.
"No worries and call me Ryan. I don't know why but I like you." he chuckled. I laughed as well.
"Well I'll go get the medicine. I will be back in a bit." I nodded my head and watched as he left to get the medicine. I turned back to my baby who was still sleeping peacefully on the bed.
I picked him up and placed him in his crib and began to hum the lullaby again.