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Chapter 4: Bryn

I’m furious! And confused…

What is Sawyer doing here? Did something happen? He looks okay but how would I know if he wasn't? He isn’t the kid I knew before!

He is watching me and has that small hilt of amusement in the corner of his mouth that had all the girls going crazy for him in high-school. It’s crazy how little has changed about him and yet there’s something different too. A darkness that makes him seem so much older. Neither of us are the same person we once were, and now fate has thrown us back together.

“Can you open the door for me?” I ask when he doesn’t move to do so on his own.

He blinks a couple of times before awkwardly turning around and jogging up to the door to unlock it. I guess I’m not the only one thrown off by this sudden reunion. Once he has the door open he walks back toward me and grabs the stuff out of my arms. I open my mouth to protest but he gives me a look that had me snapping it shut again. He thinks I’m being difficult but I’m not sure how to act.

I hate him so much but have missed him too! Darn him for getting me all twisted up inside. It isn’t fair! Why is he so calm about this? If he didn’t want to speak or see me for all this time then he wouldn’t want to be my roommate. What’s his angle?

“Which room did you want?” He asks as we walk inside.

The entrance is a slim hallway that ends in the open area of the living room and there’s an open kitchen.

“I had some groceries delivered earlier and Tabitha put everything away for us. She has the other key right now so we’ll have to grab that so we both have one.” He says when he turns to me again.

“That won’t be necessary since I won’t be staying remember?”

He sighs and drops his head back like he’s trying very hard not to get upset with me. What right does he have to be upset?

“Bryn please can you just stay? We haven’t seen each other in a long time and it might be nice-“

“We haven’t seen each other because you disappeared without a backwards look. Well that’s not true, you were in contact with everyone except me. Even my sister knew what was going on with you! I had to hear it from her and then when I tried to make sure you were okay you ignored me! So it isn’t my fault that we haven’t spoken Sawyer!” Shoot I’m yelling which means…

I hiccup suddenly and growl at myself for letting this happen.

Sawyer’s face breaks out in a smile. “You still get hiccups when you yell huh?”

I narrow my eyes at him. “You don’t get to smile at my weird bodily functions! I’m pissed at you.”

“Sorry.” He doesn’t look the least bit sorry…

“I’ll take the downstairs room.” I tell him.

He nods and turns back around. I follow him past the living room and down the second small hallway that has two doors. One leads to the guest bathroom and the second opens into the second bedroom. It’s also the one that has its own bathroom. Tabitha was willing to take the upstairs bedroom because it was bigger since the bathroom wasn’t inside and she could put in a giant bed or something. Now I guess it will be Sawyer’s…not that I care at all since I’m leaving.

Sawyer hits the light switch with his elbow and walks in to set down my stuff. He’s careful about placing it on my bed and then turns back around to face me. The look he’s giving me has my heart picking up a little. It’s like he’s trying to make something out but can’t seem to understand what he’s seeing. I probably look different now. When we were growing up, I always kept my hair short but I’ve been growing it out recently and thanks to some amazing products from Ecuador its been growing like crazy. It's past my shoulder blades now, and still growing.

“What?” I snap…cue hiccup.

Darn it!

“You look so different now.” He says.

“Well I’ve changed a lot over the last five years.” I say with too much snark.

“I guess so. Do I look different?”

I’m not sure why he’s asking me this since he could look in the mirror and see how much he’s changed. First of all he’s bigger now. Taller and more muscular than when we were teenagers and he has a light dusting of facial hair. He preferred the smooth look until after he graduated. I only know because I pathetically keep up with whatever was going on in his life. Pathetic I know.

His hair is disheveled too but not in a bad way. He’s devastatingly handsome like he always has been. His green eyes aren’t as bright as they once were but this new darker look of him isn’t so bad.

“Yeah but you still look like you.” I say with a sigh.

Being mad at him is hard and I’m too tired to be angry right now.

He gives me a small smile and my insides melt at the sight. I’ve missed him so much and he broke my heart. I just don’t know if we can go back to what we once were. He steps closer to me and stops a few feet away.

“I know I hurt you, but please stay? I don’t want you to go through all the trouble of finding a new place. I promise I won’t cause you any problems.” He sounds so vulnerable and his eyes are pleading.

Uh, he’s good.

“Fine. But we have to have some house rules.”

He smiles. “Okay! What would those be?”

I walk past him and open one of the boxes pulling out a notebook. My purse is next and I find a pen inside. I sit on my bed and write down the words: HOUSE RULES

Sawyer sits on my desk chair and rolls close to see what I’m writing.

“Okay first and the most important. No hooking up here. I do not want to hear you doing all that. We were friends and that would be weird.” He surprisingly agrees without protest.

“I don’t like bringing girls back to my place. Its kind of sacred space and you never know what sort of weird shit they’ll do. I had a girl steal all my socks once.” He laughs like that isn’t at all weird.

“Gross.” I cringe at the image of some girl pining socks up on her wall.

“Next, no parties here. I need to study like crazy this semester. I won’t be able to focus with drunk idiots yelling and loud music blasting.”

“You have much experience with wild parties do you?” He smirks playfully but I roll my eyes and continue. “Do I get to make any rules?”

I sigh. “Yeah, what rules do you want to add?”

“We have to eat at least one meal together every day.” He says.

“That’s more of a request not a rule.”

“It is if you are forced to follow it. Besides it’s been a long time since I’ve had one of your famous dinners.”

I want to remind him again that it’s his fault he hasn’t had any of my food in a while, but I don’t. No matter how mad I am it isn’t fair to keep bringing that up all the time. I don’t have to forgive him completely but it’s not fair to him if I keep bringing up what he’s done.

“Okay one meal a day. Anything else?”

He taps a finger to his chin like he’s thinking and I try not to snap at him again. I’m hangry and tired and he’s testing my patience!

“Sawyer!” I yell and hiccup a second later. “Uh!!!!”

He chuckles. “Alright calm down. Someone’s hungry. You didn’t eat on the way here?”

“I did but I don’t like to get too distracted when I drive especially when I’m unfamiliar with the area.”

He makes a humming sound and pulls his phone out. “I saw this vegan place not far away. I’ll order us some food.”

“Sawyer-“

“Bryn just let me okay?”

Why does he keep giving me these pitiful looks that make it impossible to say no to?

“Fine but I buy next time.” He is about to object so I quickly write down another rule, Take turns paying for takeout. “Now it’s a rule!”

I give him a proud smile and he shakes his head. “They aren’t set in stone yet B.”

Him calling me that hits me too hard. It sounds like we haven’t been apart for years but when he says things like that it’s as if nothing has changed.

“They have tofu Pad Thai! You’re favorite. It’s probably isn’t as good as yours but we can test it out and see.” He hasn’t even asked what I want because he already knows.

On those days he would come over and I would help he patch up after an intense practice I would cook for us. We would talk and laugh and then the next day it would be like it never happened. That went on through my freshman year before Sawyer cut me out completely.

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