Prologue: Never Say Never

"And it feels like I am just too close to love you

There's nothing I can really say

I can't lie no more, I can't hide no more

Got to be true to myself

And it feels like I am just too close to love you

So I'll be on my way."

Alex Clare - Too Close

Prologue: Never Say Never

John

Albany, September 22, 2007

Miranda was having a huge back-to-school party at my dad's house in Albany, she always threw this party at this time of year, and for the first time in almost eight years, I would be there. I hadn't told my father or my cousin about my return, I wanted to give Minnie a big surprise.

I was driving my beloved Lotus Elise, the car was a gem, a true classic. Cars like this have always been my passion. I had inherited this taste for old cars from my mother, she loved old cars. A memory invades my head. It was a summer day, and my mom and I were playing in the backyard of the house in Albany, the same house I'm going to now. We were so distracted that we didn't even see my father arrive, he had bought her a red Mustang Fastback. I remember the cry of joy she gave, as well as the look of happiness she gave my father. They were a great couple until my mom left and my dad closed himself off from everything, even me.

I push away the old memories and focus on the rest of the way. Minnie would no doubt be happy to see me, the party would be in full swing when I arrived and I would enjoy it with one of my cousin's friends. When I park in one of the spaces that the house has, I hear laughter and muffled music. I get out of the car and grab my travel bag from the luggage rack. Before going to the door, I take a good look around, everything is the same as it was years ago, I smile and walk to the door. I decide to knock instead of going straight in. I wait a few minutes until a woman answers.

She has a beautiful and genuine smile, her face is sparkling and her eyes, which have a peculiar shade of green, mirror happiness. The woman is plump and has long, bright red hair.

“Hey! Did you come to the party? “ She asks staring at me. I nod my head and she smiles broadly. “ Well, we have drinks in the kitchen, French fries, pizza and chicken nuggets in the living room, come in and enjoy!

" What is your name? “ I end up asking when she turns her back on me, even though she is too fat, her body gives me ideas.

“Damn it, you're not from college. “She says turning around. The woman studies my face before recognizing it. “ You are John, Jebe's son and Miranda's cousin! Welcome! I'm Marilyn.

“So you know me? “ I ask giving a half smile. I already had my victim of the night in my sights.

“No, your cousin told me you were coming. “ She looks at me carefully, analyzes my face and I see that her eyes go down my body.

“Ella! Ella! Run, Jared is going to throw himself naked in the pool! “Out of nowhere, a blonde girl appears. “ You can't miss this, let's go! “ Marilyn or Ella turns to go, but I step forward and take her arm.

“So you're not Marilyn?

" Yes, I am. Marilyn Ella Monroe, but Ella is for the intimate and guess what? You are not one of them. “She makes her way outside and I stand like an idiot watching her.

This is a bad sign.

Marilyn

I'm surprised to watch Miranda as she smiles at me slyly.

“ John was asking who you were, I think he liked you. “ Minnie says excitedly. “It would be so perfect to have you together, just so he'll get some sense.

“ I didn't like your cousin, he may be handsome, but as you keep saying, he's an idiot. “ I say putting more ice in the bucket. “I don't want to get involved with another asshole.

“I'm saying, this will happen at some point, I'm sure. “ I look at my friend and look for some amusement in her face, but I see that she means it.

“Here, take that ice outside and stop bugging me with that crazy story. “ I say, giving the bucket to my friend, she just laughs and leaves the kitchen towards the backyard where our friends are having fun.

Miranda always threw the best parties, no one could say otherwise, the best parties in college were thrown by her when they weren't on campus, they were held at Jebe's house. I push the thoughts away and open the fridge to get a bottle of beer, I take a long drink as I close the fridge door, but as soon as I close it, I'm face to face with John, he smiles at me and I get serious.

“My cousin says you're a little antisocial around new people. “ The boy stops in front of me and takes the bottle from my hand. “Like a gentleman, I'll be nice to both of us.

“I'm not asking you to be nice to me, nor to steal my beer. “ I say taking the drink back. “There is in the fridge. “I say smiling, my body is warm and my mind says I should run away. Decided, I start walking towards the door that leads to the backyard. When I'm almost close, I feel a hand wrap around my arm and stop me, soon John's body is pressed against mine. A shiver takes over my body the instant he brings his lips to my ear.

“I want your beer, this is the only one that tastes like your lips. “ John's thick, warm voice makes my body melt, but I soon recover and walk away. “Do you have a boyfriend or something?

“No, I just don't like your type. “I say looking at him. “I'm not interested in your little game, John.

“Aren't you, Marilyn? Is it really not? “Insistent and invasive, that characterizes John Kross. “Give me the beer.

" No! “Neg. “Get yourself one and leave me alone, I have a party to enjoy.

“I will get it. “ He steps forward and takes the bottle from my hand. John drinks all of the liquid before placing the bottle on top of the sink. “ Now it's gone, a delight.

" Scoundrel... " I smile with malice watching the shameless give a half smile. “ I hope you enjoyed the taste of my lips.

I turn my back and leave. John was a temptation, a temptation I was tempted to give in to.

But that never happened, he left the next day, and so my surrender was in the past, along with a great disappointment.