Chapter 2 - No Need To Say Goodbye
"And now the end is near
And so I face the final curtain
My friend, I'll say it clear
I'll state my case, of which I'm certain
I've lived a life that's full
I travelled each and every highway
And more, much more than this
I did it my way"
Frank Sinatra – My Way
Chapter 2 - No Need To Say Goodbye
O day started strange, my phone had not woken up and it was after ten when I got up with a tightness in my chest. The bad feeling only increased when my cell phone vibrated and I quickly picked it up. On the screen, I see Debbie's picture, I answer right away.
“Hi Debbie, are you up early today? “ I ask with a dose of animation.
“Marilyn, I don't… no. “Her voice is cracked. “I need you to come to Jebediah's as soon as possible. “ I feel my body go cold in time, I tell Debbie that I will get there quickly.
A pain invades me in a lancinating way, I try not to cry, it's not time for that yet. I go to my closet and pull out black jeans and a white shirt, grab a jacket and a pair of boots. I go to the bathroom and take a long hot shower. Once I'm done, I get ready and go back to my room, grab my bag, put my cell phone and wallet inside, leave the room and go to the living room, where I get my car keys and leave the apartment.
The streets are reasonably empty for a Saturday morning, I take my car from the building's garage and drive to Jebe's house. As I drive there, I replay last night in my head, the party, the dancing, the laughter, and our parting.
“ What a party huh, Jebe? It was enough to shake the skeleton well, don't you think? I asked, pretending to dance.
“No doubt, my girl, this old man had a good time. Jebe smiled and pulled me into a hug. We were in front of his building and it was after three in the morning. “Thanks for making this night so fun, I haven't felt this good in a long time.
“It was nothing, Uncle, you made everything so much better. “ I said, squeezing Jebe into the hug. “ It's already late and I have to go, tomorrow I'm going to visit my mom and dad. “ I said without letting go, something tied me to Jebe.
“You're a good daughter, a good niece, and you deserve everything that's coming your way, Marilyn. “ Jebe kissed my forehead and smiled. “ Stay with God and send a hug to everyone tomorrow, tell them I miss everyone. “ Jebe released me and soon I felt the cold, the same cold that is freezing my soul now.
“I'm jealous of this, Jebediah, sleep tight. “ I said, before going back to the car that was waiting for me. I saw Jebe enter the building and only then did I let the driver follow.
I know I could be thinking the worst for nothing and Jebe just being sick.
Don't be stupid, Ella, Debbie wouldn't care if he was okay, I tell myself. She wouldn't even be there if all was well, Jebe had Alice and Vincent, they would have called me, not Debbie. The tightness in my chest only increases, I catch myself once more and accelerate the car, I stop at a red light and I hear my phone ring, I take it out of my purse and see that it is my mother, I ignore the call and turn off the phone, I put it away again. As soon as the light turns green, I start the car.
I arrive at Jebe's building, the tightness in my chest only increases, I get out of the car and the doorman lets me in, looking at me with regret. I make my way to the elevator, remembering last night when I was there with my old uncle. He was already strange when we left, it was different around the 27th of March, that day was when Madeleine Hill, the love of Uncle Jebe's life, died in a terrible accident. Since then, March 27 had become a cursed day for everyone around him. When the elevator stops and opens on the penthouse, I take a deep breath.
Jebediah's apartment is different, even with everything in place, everything seems empty. Debbie and Vincent are sitting at the kitchen counter, where Alice is serving them both coffee. As soon as I walk in, everyone stares at me, I can see Debbie's eyes fill with tears, she stands up and opens her arms to me, I don't know how I end up reaching her, I just see myself hugged.
“ Alice called me, Jebe didn't wake up and I came running over here. “ Debbie lets out a sob as she pats my head, I do my best not to cry. “I called his doctor, who just confirmed it. Marilyn, Jebe is gone. “ I hear Alice's sobs mixed with Debbie's, I pull away bewildered.
“On...on...where is he? I ask, feeling my throat tighten. “I need to see him.
“He's in the bedroom, miss. “ Vincent speaks, next to Debbie.
“ You'll see, Jebe is just playing with you, he's fine. “ I say, ignoring Debbie's glare.
I walk along the corridor that connects Jebe's huge living room to his bedroom. Today the hallway seems twice as big. I run towards Jebe's room, only stopping in front of the door, everything is very silent, the air of the place seems strangely light, as if all the weight that Jebe carried had gone with him. When I open the bedroom door, I walk in slowly looking at every detail, the photos on top of the fireplace, which is still on, the paintings scattered throughout the immense space and the fully glazed ceiling. In the center of the room is Jebe's bed. He is lying down, the lump in my throat tightens with each step I take towards his body, I reach my limit, I let all the tears accumulated by the false appearance of strength come out, and I start to cry guiltily.
Jebediah seems to be sleeping, calmly and tenderly. I touch his face, the contrast between his cold skin and the warm air in the room makes me feel even worse, I lie down and align myself with Jebe's body, hugging him as I have done several times.
“You couldn't do this to me, Jebediah, you couldn't. “ I speak in a whisper. “Jebe, what am I going to do without you here? This is not your time, is it, Jebe. “ I cry even more, letting out a few sobs, I lose track of how long I've been here crying, I finally fall asleep.
I don't know how much time has passed, but when I wake up it's already late, because the sun no longer lights up the room and the sky is already orange. But it wasn't the weather that woke me up, it was a shouting, I can make out Debbie's voice and a man's, a low, deep voice, a voice like Jebe, John. I get up as quickly as possible and walk out of the room and into the hall. This time the hallway doesn't seem so big and I manage to get to the living room quickly, in the living room, I see Alice in a corner crying hugging Vincent, while Debbie screams at a visibly upset John.
“You have no right to charge anything! Where have you been all this time? she screams, digging her finger into his chest. “You don't have to pretend that you liked and cared about your father, I know I didn't!
“How do you think I could care about someone who didn't like me? “ John yells, I feel my fist clench as I listen to what he says. “ My father hated me, he wanted me away and I just did the favor of disappearing!
“ That's a big lie, Jebe loved you more than anything. “ I end up talking when anger overwhelms me. “Your father missed you every moment, he loved you so much, John.
“ The missing person has arrived, my father's plump mistress. “ John says looking at me. “Was he with you when he died? “ I look at Debbie without action, she looks at me bewildered by what John says, my fury reaches its maximum when I punch him in the face, followed by another and another, in seconds, Vincent holds me while I try to advance on John.
“How can you say that, you scoundrel? Jebediah was like a father to me, I'm not like the bitches you bed, you bastard! “ I scream struggling, John's luck is that Vincent is a strong man and manages to contain me. “You're rubbish, John, you didn't deserve one iota of your father's love.
“Go to hell! “ He says, putting his hand on his nose. “You fucking mad cow!
“You drunkard, I pity you! “ I scream as Vincent pulls me away from Jebe's son.
It was after seven when they removed Jebe's body, John was sitting across the room, visibly upset, I was on a bench near the kitchen counter with Debbie. Alice had made us coffee, I had taken Jebe's notebook and was trying to write a note to print when my phone beeped with a message from Tessa asking how I was, I reply that I'm not very well and that I'll call her shortly. I turn my attention to the note where I put that Jebediah Kross had died that same day, that the family was devastated at the time and asked for everyone's prayers, and the promise that we would soon release information about the funeral. After sending it to the editorial office of the magazine, I close the notebook and call my mother, we talk for a long time, she tells me that she will come to town as soon as possible even against my will. Then I call Tessa and tell her everything that happened, I listen to her cry and I end up in tears next to her for a while, when I hang up, I walk away from everyone and sit by the window where Jebe was standing yesterday, I look at the view of the city and the first drops of rain falling on the window pane.
The rain hasn't stopped falling for three days now, since Jebe's death, I can't get excited about anything, and today when I have to get ready to go to his funeral, I think about the possibility of not being happy for a long time. Debbie and my mother are waiting for me in the living room, and I fix my black dress and then tie back my brown hair that now looks like a bird's nest. Once I've won my fight against the unruly hair, I grab a coat and head out of the room. I don't speak to my mom and Debbie as I leave the room, I just grab my purse and umbrella and head out of the apartment. As we get into the elevator, I see Debbie put on a pair of sunglasses as does my mom, which is really weird since it's raining. The elevator goes down slowly to the lobby of my building, as soon as the door opens, we go out to the lobby where Vincent is waiting for us.
The way to the church where the funeral will be held turns out to be too fast. As soon as we arrive, I see a troop of journalists at the door, Vincent stops the car closest to the church and gets out to open the door for us, when we are out of the car, the photographers run to meet us taking pictures, I let them take while I'm going to say goodbye to Jebe.
The funeral goes well until the Reverend calls John to say a few words. Then it's my turn to go to the podium, I take a deep breath before I get up and walk past John towards the mezzanine.
“I would like to thank you on behalf of the entire Kross family for being here today. “ I speak looking at John, who looks at Jebe's coffin. “ Jebediah was a great man, a good father, a good friend and an excellent confidant, believe me, Jebe was a great listener. Above all he was a man of fiber, the beginning of his life was not easy and it is not something he likes to talk about. “ I say remembering the times he had told me about his youth. “ Jebediah Kross was one of those people who really won in life honestly and cleanly, when I met him, he was already the owner of the biggest magazine in the world and I was a recent graduate who was one step away from going to live on the street, because she had nowhere to fall dead and refused to return home. “ I look at my mother. “ I always had wonderful parents, but finding Jebe was like finding a second father, he was the one who let me have ice cream whenever I wanted, but who called attention when I tried to put biscuits in the dough. When he hired me and helped me pay the rent, I thought I was a crazy old man. Who would help a stranger that way? “ Jebediah Kross helped, and in a short time, I already had the life of my dreams, a good job, a house... Yes, I had an amazing second family. “ On Jebe's last night, we had gone to a party and he danced throughout the event. He had fun like he had never seen, at the end of it all, I took him home with Vincent, at that moment he should have known that that was the end, because he asked me to give a message to everyone. He asked me to tell them that he loved them so much and that he would do this forever. I stop, feeling my eyes fill with tears. “I want everyone to remember what a great man Jebe was, and today, instead of crying over the loss, let's be happy that finally Jebe can go where he always wanted. “ I feel the tears well up as I look at the coffin where Jebe lies. “He went to the moon to meet his beloved.
I finish speaking with a sob. In a more than strange moment, John gets up and comes to me hugging me, the hug back a little awkwardly, I feel that he is crying when I hear an apology, and there in the middle of emotion, I accept them.
Jebediah was buried in the Kross family vault alongside his wife, all friends, acquaintances, business contacts and society figures left flowers at the site and left as soon as the burial was over.
In the end, it was just me, Debbie, my mother, Tessa, John, Vincent and Alice, standing there looking at the flowers in front of the tomb. Silence reigned until the sound of someone clearing their throat brought everyone out of their trance.
“I didn't mean to bother you, but I'm just following my old friend's orders. “ says Patrick, looking at everyone. “Jebediah had me read his will the same day as his burial, so I suggest we go to a more suitable place.
I knew Jebe was up to something, but I couldn't imagine that it would change my life forever.