The Journals of Llandry Sanfaer, Lady Draykon
The Journals of Llandry Sanfaer, Lady Draykon
An Introduction To These Records.
Lady Draykon.
This is my title. It was bestowed upon me by the Elders of Glinnery themselves, and in front of a hall full of witnesses.
Two long moons later, I can still scarcely believe it.
I am Llandry Sanfaer. You may have heard my name. I am a citizen of Glinnery, one of the Seven Realms, even if I no longer live there. I am of the winged folk. I am a jeweller. I am shy, to my despair — probably more so than anybody you have ever met.
And I am a draykon. Shapeshifter, sorcerer, nightmare of the skies. Until recently, we of the Seven had forgotten the draykoni entirely, their absence from our world so extended that we no longer believed that they had ever existed.
It was me that brought them back. I did not know, then, what I was doing. I Changed… and the world changed with me. It is too late, now, to reverse those events, or to return the draykoni to their former dormancy. Some wish, fervently, that it were not so. We bring magic and wonder and life to the Seven — and we have also brought chaos, fear and war. There are those who will always condemn us.
I am not always certain that they are wrong.
Other pens have recorded the events of which I speak. Accounts have been written and re-written, by scholars almost as authoritative upon such points as I. I have given my side of those stories, over and over again. It is not the purpose of this journal to repeat that tale.
This endeavour is about the future. It was suggested to me by Lady Evastany Glostrum, a friend of mine since those confusing days. She is far better versed in the arts of politics and a public life than I; she has been submerged in both ever since she was born.
Llan. The coming years will be difficult for us all, but for you more than anyone. The return of the draykoni is, by and large, laid at your door, and not everyone is delighted with this development. Now the draykoni tribes and the people of the Seven must find a way to co-exist. It will not be easy. It falls to you, to Ori and to Avane to bring about peace, if you can.
There will be those who will question you, blame you, even curse you. When that day comes, it will be well for you to have a record to hand; an account, if you like, of everything you have done, and everything that you have attempted.
I have no doubt that she is right. Part of me wishes that she had not warned me, thereby stripping me of the bliss that ignorance can sometimes be. It is harder than ever to take up this duty, knowing that blame and accusation are likely to be part of my reward. But she is right.
Besides that, dear Llan, these are momentous times! Someday a little further in the future, scholars will look back on the events of our lives, and wonder. If they do not have first-hand, authoritative accounts upon which to draw, then history will remember us falsely. I undertake to commit my perspective to paper, and I urge you to do the same.
She has promised that I may read her account, when she chooses to declare it finished. I have promised that she may read mine.
Here, then, is my record of events following the draykon war upon the city of my birth, Waeverleyne. I swear that it is a true and faithful record, to the best of my knowledge and information.
This account begins in the year 1913, on the eighth day of the seventh moon. I cannot yet say where it will end.
Not even half a year has passed since I discovered my secret heritage. Perhaps I ought more rightly to say, since my heritage discovered
me.
My first Change came upon me without warning, and I was defenceless against it.
Prior to that change, the draykoni had receded so far from public memory that we had recast them as mere legend. Absent from our realms for hundreds of years, with all records of their history expunged from our libraries, they had dwindled into tales. We told each other stories of creatures bigger than houses, with wings like sails and scales of every imaginable hue. They could breathe fire, we said. They could swallow a human child whole, and frequently did.
I was the first person to suffer the Change. I say
suffer
because it was by far the most painful experience of my life. Try to imagine, if you will, that every inch of your skin tries to turn itself inside out; your organs expand too quickly for your beleaguered body to hold; your bones splinter and break themselves in their haste to reform, and then mend in the blink of an eye. Your heart pounds about a thousand beats a minute and you sweat away most of your body’s water under the appalling pressure of it.
And then, when the searing pain is finished and all is quiet once more, you are… other. Everything around you has inexplicably shrunk, for it takes a little while to realise that it is
you
that has grown. Your face feels strange, because where there was once a mouth there is now a protuberance which can only be described as a snout. Wings you may be used to, if you are Glinnish like me, but not like
these.
These are indeed the size of sails, and they weigh differently upon your lengthened back. And I cannot even begin to describe how differently scales feel to skin.
When you look down and discover your arms to be more aptly described as forelegs, and that you are sporting wicked claws a few inches long upon what used to be your hands… I would like to think that panic would be a normal reaction.
I panicked. It wasn’t pretty.
Things are very different now, for me and for the wider Realms. I have grown almost as comfortable with my draykon form as I am with my more familiar, two-legged shape. I have grown to love the mist-grey colour of my scales, and the powerful wings that carry me farther and faster than ever my Glinnish pinions could do.
And I am far from the only draykon in the Seven. The next to shift were Orillin Vance of Glinnery and Avane Desandry of Glour, both of whom are now my dear friends. We have been through much together, and I know that I can count on them both to be with me through every step of whatever is to come.
There is Pensould. He was the first of a different type of draykoni to return: the lost ancients. Sunk into a deathlike state and subsequently revived, he is pure of blood, for unlike the rest of us there is no human in him at all. There are others like him. It is difficult to keep track, but our best estimate at present is that there are now nearly forty living draykoni, of one type or another — ancients like Pense or hereditaries, as we have begun to call those like me. Most of them are ancients. There are few hereditaries, yet not so few as we initially believed. Lokant records identified only three of us: Ori, Avane and me. As it turns out, we three were only those with the very strongest draykon heritage — virtually bound to shift, sooner or later. There are others, their blood more liberally mixed. It is harder for them to Change, and they require more of our help, but they are finding their way.
Our numbers are steadily rising. We must make a place for ourselves somewhere in this world — away from the Seven, to my regret, for after the war there are many who will never trust us again. As the Lord and Ladies Draykon, it falls to Ori, Avane and me to attempt to maintain peace between these disparate peoples. It is a daunting task, and one that I do not feel prepared for. It has fallen to me by chance alone; a mere accident of ancestry has placed me here, and I am petrified of failure. The consequences would be severe — another war, perhaps, at worst.
But I must try, and I will. With Pensould and my friends at my side, perhaps I can survive this next year without another total disaster.
Hah. Who am I kidding.
The Influx.
The real beginning of this story was a few weeks ago. Pensould and I are settled in Iskyr now — the Upper Realm, as the humans still call it — and that is a major change in itself. I don’t know if you have ever visited the Uppers, but I imagine not. It is dangerous up here, at least for most people. The place is unstable; it changes all the time, and without warning. One moment you might be strolling through a beautiful meadow full of flowers, three suns shining balmily upon you and the air full of fragrance. Two minutes later, the meadow is gone and you have fallen into a thicket of brambles with venomous thorns an inch long. Or fallen into the sea. Or a ravine. The changes cannot be predicted, and if you are a human with no magics, there are few ways to protect yourself from them.
And that is just the landscape. This world is also populated with all manner of animals. They are beautiful, wondrous and fascinating without exception, but some of them are brutal, aggressive and incredibly dangerous, too.
This is why humans have, for the most part, confined themselves to the Seven Realms and kept away from the Off-Worlds. But these dangers do not apply to the draykoni, or not in the same way. These are
our
worlds. We were born here, steeped in the mystic energies of these realms of perpetual light or endless darkness. A draykon may refashion the world around them, in whatever image they so choose.
This is not as easy as I make it sound. Manipulation of those energies —
amasku,
we call them — is difficult, and tiring. It is a wild force, hard to contain or direct. I cannot lightly tackle it alone, not to make grand, sweeping changes. Certainly not without exhausting myself.
But two draykoni together may achieve more, especially if their initial goal is merely to create a home for themselves. Pensould, my mate, is an ancient, and as such he is stronger than I. We travelled into Iskyr together, and chose a spot we considered pleasing. It Changes often, of course, but it returns most frequently to a peaceful configuration: a low valley covered in tall, blue-green grass, sloping down to the shores of a wide lake of rippling silver waters. We created a tree next to the lake, a glissenwol like those of my home in Glinnery. Beneath its vast mushroom cap we added a house: not a wooden-built construct, but a dwelling growing naturally from the trunk of the tree itself. I am winged even in my human shape, and when he chooses to take a human shape Pensould follows my lead. There is safety in the heights. Together, we exert just enough of our will over our little valley to keep our tree stable and safe, no matter how the land shifts beneath us.
It is a modest beginning, considering the volume of work before us. But it is a start.
One morning about two weeks ago, I was sitting atop a large rock not far from the lake enjoying Pensould’s remarkable cooking for my breakfast. He is a marvel that way, and you wouldn’t think it to meet him. Ancient beyond words, with little recognisable humanity even in a human shape, he is one of the most powerful draykoni I have ever met, and frequently impatient with what he calls
absurd human customs.
And yet, given a stove and a seemingly haphazard jumble of ingredients, he produces marvels.
Anyway, I had been given a delightful concoction of fruits and grains to eat. I sat cross-legged atop my rock, a favourite spot at that hour of the morning, for the light of the suns is warm upon my back, and I can look out over the lake. Siggy — Sigwide, my orting companion — sat upon my left knee, begging scraps from my bowl as usual.
Food?
He said, with such pitiful hope that I could not resist him. His sleek grey fur shone in the morning sun, and his tail twitched with delight as he inspected the contents of my bowl.
I was engaged in feeding him a particularly luscious chunk of nara-fruit when a voice shattered the delicious peace of the morning.
Difficult as it was to believe, someone was
hailing
me.
‘Hi!’ said the voice, from some distance away. ‘Hey! Hello?’
I looked around. Standing on the edge of the valley and gazing down upon me was a human woman. A
human.
In Iskyr! And as far as I could tell, she was unaccompanied. Her dark brown hair was firmly tied back, and she looked dressed for travelling. On her back she carried the most enormous kitbag I have ever seen, and I wondered how she could possibly bear it.
‘Hello?’ I called back, wary.
She waved cheerfully. ‘Are you Llandry Sanfaer?’
I blinked. Stupidly. I probably made a fine vision of foolishness, gawping at her like she had just asked me if I was the Queen of Orstwych. Eventually I found my words and managed to return an affirmative reply, at which she set off through the valley towards me. The thick grasses came up to her thighs, but she ploughed through them with blithe unconcern. She looked like she could plough through anything with similarly unimpaired determination.
She stopped at the base of my rock and grinned up at me. ‘Meriall Delaney,’ she said, and dropped her kitbag onto the floor with a weary
oof.
‘Nice little place you have here.’
I said nothing.
Believe me, I wanted to speak. The fact is… well, I said I was shy. In truth, that is an understatement.
It’s odd. I feel different as a draykon, for it is difficult to be afraid of one’s fellow beings in that shape. But as a human, I have always been uncertain of myself. Strangers worry me. Many strangers all together terrify me.
And here stood a stranger,
here,
in my refuge, invading my lovely peaceful spot without warning.
I tried not to scowl, though I am afraid I may have failed. ‘Hello,’ I said at last, when I had managed to untie my tongue. I sought for something friendly to say, or at least not outright
un
friendly. ‘What are you doing
here
?’
Ah well. I suppose it could have been worse.
Meriall gave me an odd look, and shrugged. ‘Where else would I go?’ She surveyed my little valley speculatively and added, ‘It has definite potential. I can see why you picked this place.’
I was shocked by her appearance, nervous of her presence and now I was getting confused, all of which made me a little grumpy. ‘What do you mean, potential?’ I said. ‘And I don’t understand why you would come here at all.’
It was her turn to appear surprised. ‘What, is this not the site of the new draykon village? I was
sure
I had it right.’
Aaand I went right back to gaping. I was still busy with this when Pensould arrived. ‘Minchu,’ he greeted me — that is his word for mate, and he has always addressed me thus. ‘I see it has begun.’
I turned my astonished stare upon him. Pense likes to change his human shape sometimes — and why not, considering it is a pure fabrication anyway? He used to get it wrong a lot in the early days, but he is doing better at it now. I noticed absently that he was wearing his favourite glossy brown hair, and he had matched his skin to my mid-brown colour. He was looking quite handsome, actually, which might have been why Meriall seemed so delighted to see him.
‘You must be Pensould!’ she said, beaming. She shook the hand he held out, and I was suddenly ashamed. I should have thought to offer so basic a greeting, and it was embarrassing that Pense had done so instead of me. He was barely aware of human social conventions, but he still handled the basics better than I did.
‘What do you mean, Pense?’ I asked him, hoping to cover my ineptitude with a question. ‘What has begun?’
‘I shall call it the “influx”, I think, for it is a pretty word and not much used.’ He smiled at me, and I noticed with bemusement that he had coloured his teeth a strange, pearly-silver hue. ‘Here we have mingled our energies and made our mark upon the
amasku.
It is inevitable that it would attract the attention of others of our kind.’
Oh.
Flushing, I thought to open my
other
senses — the draykon ones, for which I have no words — and examined Meriall anew. I am terrible for that. It comes of growing up human, and I was twenty before I discovered my other heritage. If I am in my human shape, I still use my sight and my hearing by default, and forget everything else.
But once I thought to look, I saw immediately what Pensould meant. Meriall shone in my mystic senses, her human frame clad in the same kind of rippling, chaotic aura that Pense exuded, albeit weaker than his. She was a hereditary draykon, like me.
She smiled at me, but not with her mouth. It’s hard to explain. She did something to her aura that radiated unthreatening friendliness, something like a smile and a wave mixed together, but with no physical gesture to accompany them. I found that interesting.
‘Welcome?’ I said tentatively. I had not yet decided how I felt about this development. I have no idea where she received the impression that we were in the process of setting up a whole draykon
village.
Perhaps it was merely as Pense said: our actions were perceptible to others of our kind, and were liable to attract them. My visions of peaceful comfort in Iskyr began to dissolve, and I suffered a stab of resentment towards this lively, unthreatening woman who had not even had the courtesy to give me an obvious reason to dislike her.
She fell to talking with Pense, and they chatted comfortably about life in Iskyr, what kind of journey she had enjoyed, and the dwelling she might like to establish here. I listened, and watched. Meriall spoke Glinnish well enough, but she was not winged. I thought I detected a faint accent in her fluid speech, but I could not immediately place it. Her skin was a slightly darker brown than mine, but her eyes were an unusual deep green colour. She was unfazed by the strong sunlight, so she was clearly no Darklander.
It came to me, as I listened to her flowing conversation. Her accent reminded me of Devary’s speech — Devary Kant, a friend of my mother’s and of mine.
‘You are from Nimdre?’ I said, when her conversation with Pense finally slowed.
She smiled at me, and nodded. ‘Draetre University.’
‘Devary sent you,’ I said in sudden comprehension, and received an affirmative nod in response.
‘He’s a former professor of mine. I went through my first Change two weeks ago, and he sent me your way.’
I wasn’t sure how I felt about that. What was he doing volunteering me to begin some kind of draykon collective? He knew how I disliked strangers.
On the other hand, Meriall was a newly-shifted draykon, and I was probably the only person Devary knew who could help her.
So, packing my ungracious feelings away, I set about helping Meriall to make herself comfortable. She talked, I couldn’t. It was awkward.
As usual.
But Pense was right about the influx. No sooner had I grown comfortable with Meriall than another hereditary arrived: a youngish, comfortably rotund Irbellian man called Larion. He could not say how he had come to find us; he had merely wandered in Iskyr, alone from the moment of his first Change, and found himself drawn to us. Larion was quiet, laconic, and clever. He soon learned everything I had to teach, and when others began to arrive, he adopted the role of instructor.
Our little colony grew quickly after that. As I write this account a moon or so later, our tiny valley is crowded with dwellings and beginning to spill over. Our residents comprise people from all over the Daylands and Nimdre; we are of all ages and, thankfully, we wield between us a useful range of professions. It is not easy to keep everybody fed and equipped, but we are steadily learning where to reliably find food up here. Ivi comes from farmer stock. She has collected up a few volunteers and begun the process of creating some fields on the northern edge of our village, there to cultivate the strange but delicious sweetgrains that grow wild in parts of Iskyr. Loret is a tailor, and he has taught Damosel to sew. Together they are producing such garments as are necessary. In time, I feel that many of us will choose to wear our draykon forms much more often — all of the time, perhaps. But what we have at present is a collective of confused hereditaries, trying to make for ourselves a little piece of the familiar in a deeply strange world.
At the heart of all of this there is Pensould, and there is me. The settlers look to us for leadership, which I hardly know how to understand. Is it because I am Lady Draykon? Do they know, or care, about this title? Few have used it. Is it because I was the first to Change, or because we were the first to dwell here? I cannot account for it. Nonetheless, I feel the burden of this unlooked-for obligation keenly. Try as I might, I cannot deflect their expectations onto another, and to my surprise (and occasional displeasure), Pensould has consistently failed to permit me to hide behind
him.
I think him far more fitted to this role than I, but he only says,
Minchu, I do not know the humankind like you do
, and that is that. He is always at my side, but his is a silent support.
I sometimes use Meriall as a spokeswoman. She sometimes allows me to.
Our village is beginning to be known as
Nuwelin
, which means something like “new place” in some obscure language of Pensould’s. I did ask him to think up something a little more imaginative, but by the time he had applied himself to that task,
Nuwelin
had stuck.
So here we are. Eclectic in our make-up, confused to a man, and unsure what the future holds for any of us. And for some reason, all of these people are looking to me to figure that last part out.
Help.