Chapter 1
1
Twenty-one years earlier
… Jeremy White grabbed a stick and dug into the mud along the edge of the puddle. He thought he saw a frog and wanted to show his sister, Jenna. Okay, he wanted to scare his sister, even though she wasn’t afraid of anything. With his tongue tucked into the corner of his lips as he concentrated, he didn’t hear when someone walked up behind him.
“Hey, if you’re after a frog, you’ll never catch one that way.”
Jeremy jumped up, spun around, then lost his balance. He stepped back to keep from falling and groaned as water and mud sloshed over his sneakers and soaked his socks. His mom was going to be so mad! He blinked and stared at the tall, skinny kid with long hair that hung in his eyes who crept up behind him.
“I saw it swim under the rock. Thought I could scoop him out with a stick.” Jeremy held up his digging tool as proof of his plan.
“Nah. Frogs are way faster than that. I bet he’s long gone.” The kid peered around Jeremy to where the water was murky from the digging.
Jeremy lowered the stick and eyed the kid. “Do you know how to catch a frog?”
The kid shrugged. “Sure. But why would you want to?” He looked at Jeremy’s clean T-shirt and shorts, then frowned at the mud-covered shoes.
“I want to scare my sister.”
“Why do you want to do that?”
Jeremy shrugged. “Because she’s a girl.” He climbed out of the mud and thrust out the stick. “You can use my stick if you want to.”
The kid glanced at it, then shook his head. “We need patience and a net.”
Frowning, Jeremy asked, “How do you know that?”
“My grandfather told me. He knows lots of stuff. He was a soldier in the war.”
“Does he live in that house with the flag in the front yard?”
The kid nodded. “I live there, too. I’m Heath Fairchild.”
“My name’s Jeremy White.” He stuck out his hand like he’d seen his father do and smiled when Heath shook it. “So, about catching that frog…”
Jeremy didn’t know much about patience, but he learned how to catch frogs. Toads, actually, according to Heath’s grandfather. They came out of the ground in the desert when it rained in the summer, laid their eggs in the puddles, and the eggs hatched and grew into toads before the puddles dried up. Holding one in his hand as he and Heath wound their way around Palo Verdes and cactus and emerged in the backyard of the house his parents had just bought, Jeremy thought about all the fun things he could do that summer. Spying his sister sitting in the tire swing, he stopped.
Leaning closer to Heath, Jeremy whispered, “There she is. Watch this.”
Both boys approached Jenna. She heard them talking and guessed they had been at the wash, the one their parents said they weren’t allowed to go to by themselves. Leaning back on the tire, she thought they looked funny walking upside down. Her brother, with his messy brown hair, smiled at her in a way that told her he was planning something. Mom would ground him for messing up his new shoes. When her gaze shifted to the boy walking beside her brother, she thought how pretty his eyes were. Blue, like the color of his faded jeans with a rip in one knee. He kept looking at her, then he glanced at Jeremy’s hand, and back at her. Jenna sat up and climbed out of the tire swing.
“Jenna, this is Heath Fairchild. He lives with his grandfather in that house with the flag on the front porch.”
She tipped her head to the side and squinted an eye. “How old are you?”
Heath thought it was a weird question. “Twelve.”
Jenna nodded, then held out her hand. Their dad always said to greet everyone the same. “I’m Jenna White.”
Heath didn’t have a sister. Or a brother. And since the car accident, he didn’t have his mom or dad either. Taking her hand in his, he couldn’t keep from smiling.
“Guess what we found at the huge puddle near the wash,” Jeremy said and held up his hand.
If not for Heath’s stealth warning by looking at her brother’s hand as they approached or Jenna noticing that particular twinkle in her brother’s eye, she might have jumped back, surprised at the toad. Her brother was all boy, into dirt and bugs and protecting her when he wasn’t picking on her. She sometimes thought he was disappointed that she wasn’t all girl, screaming at the dirt and bugs and pranks he pulled on her. Now she leaned forward and looked at the small brown toad, its sides moving quickly with its breath.
Without warning, she took her left hand, since Heath still held her right, and bumped Jeremy’s arm. The toad flipped up and landed on Jeremy’s shirt. He squealed like a girl and batted it off as he jumped to the side.
“Who’s scared now?” Jenna asked with a grin.
“Don’t tell mom or dad.”
“I won’t say anything about the toad, but I’m not sure that you’ll be able to hide your muddy shoes.”
“Ack! Sisters. Come on, Heath. I’ll show you my skateboard.” Jeremy, cheeks pink from his reaction to the toad and knowing the trouble he was in because of his shoes, wanted to fit in as much as he could today before he was grounded. He turned and ran towards the garage.
Heath, smiling, gave Jenna’s hand a squeeze before following his new friend.
“Don’t worry, I’ll make sure the toad gets back to the puddle,” Jenna called after him.
He was laughing when he turned around and waved at her.
Fifteen years earlier
… The sprinkling had turned into a steady rain, a rhythmic pattern tapping out on the umbrellas people held as they gathered around a gravesite. Jeremy and his mother, Moira, stood under one. Heath and Jenna under another. As the pastor talked about a life well lived, cut too short by a sudden heart attack, and the family and friends left behind by Jerry White, Heath smoothed his palm over Jenna’s hair and down her back.
Jenna knew by now that Heath did this as much to soothe her as himself. He’d taken to this gesture the first time he saw her fall off her bike, rip her jeans, and skin her palms and knees on the gravel. It was the same when a friend betrayed her, when her first boyfriend broke her heart, when her cat got sick and died. But when she won the spelling bee in seventh grade, made honor roll each year, won her position on varsity softball playing first base, and turned sixteen, Heath showed up with flowers or a pint of her favorite ice cream or a special edition book. Of course, he still hugged her in congratulations. He did guy things when Jeremy found himself in similar situations. Over the years, the three of them had become best friends.
Jeremy and Heath would graduate from high school next year. Both decided to enlist in the military. Jenna dreaded the day she would wave goodbye as they left for bootcamp. But that was months away. Now, they stood quietly in the rain. After the pastor finished, and the casket that held Jenna and Jeremy’s dad was lowered into the ground, friends, coworkers, and the few family members the White’s had shook Jeremy’s hand and hugged Moira and Jenna. Heath stood behind Jenna, holding the umbrella so her black dress wouldn’t get wet.
Back at the White residence, after everyone had left the wake and his mother had gone to bed, Jeremy said he would clean up the kitchen and take out the trash. He knew Jenna loved sitting on the back porch after it rained. Heath did, too.
Closing the door quietly behind him, Heath found her on the tire swing. A corner of his mouth tipped up at all the times she sought refuge there. The temperatures had dropped when the storm rolled through. He took off his suit coat and settled it around Jenna’s shoulders. When she glanced up and smiled her thanks, he noticed tears in her eyes. He gave the tractor tire a gentle push.
Jenna looked up at the stars. “Do you think people who die watch over their loved ones? I mean, is my dad up there, hoping we’ll be okay?”
Heath pushed the swing and gave the stars a study. “I guarantee he’s hoping you’re all going to be okay. And you will be.” He bent down when she swung towards him and kissed the top of her head. “He didn’t plan on leaving his family like he did, so maybe he’s keeping an eye on things.” Heath stared up into the dark sky and recognized a few constellations. “When I was a kid, I imagined my mom and dad as the stars in the Big Dipper, always there, even though I couldn’t touch or see them.”
Jenna pointed her toe and stopped the swing. She stood and looked at Heath’s face. “Has today brought up bad memories for you?”
He met her gaze and shook his head. “No. It was a gift to have them in my life. They were good people. Just like my grandfather for taking me in.” He wrapped his arms around her when she stepped close to him. “I don’t think grief ever stops. I miss my parents. Being around yours has been like getting a second set.”
Jenna tried to smile, but tears threatened, making her lips tremble.
Heath kissed her forehead, then sighed when she rested her cheek against his shoulder.
Fourteen years earlier
… Moira took Jeremy’s face in her hands. “I love you. I’ll miss you every minute you’re gone. Watch over Heath. Be careful.” She pulled him into a tight hug, fighting tears.
Jenna stood next to her mother, one hand in her pocket, the other rubbing the locket on a silver chain Heath had given her for her sixteenth birthday. Deciding to tuck the most important people in her life inside the charm, she had a picture of Jeremy on the left and one of Heath on the right.
She had stayed up all night with Jeremy and Heath. When it got to be too much, she pretended to use the bathroom so she could cry. She didn’t think all her tears were gone, but she promised herself that Jeremy and Heath wouldn’t see a sobbing sister as they drove away.
Moira released Jeremy and turned to Heath. “I love you. I’ll miss you every minute you’re gone. Watch over Jeremy. Be careful.” She couldn’t stop the tears as she hugged Heath.
Jeremy wrapped his arms around Jenna. He whispered, “I love you. I’ll miss you every minute I’m gone. Watch over Mom.”
Jenna chuckled as Jeremy meant her to. Stepping back, she smiled. “I’ll write you letters, and you better write me back.”
Her brother laughed because they both knew he was a much better athlete with a talent for singing than he was a lover of his English class. Jeremy glanced at Heath, then got behind the wheel of his Jeep.
Heath studied Jenna’s features as if he was trying to memorize them, even though he knew them as well as his own. When she stepped to him, wrapped her arms around his waist, he closed his eyes.
I love you. I’ll miss you every minute I’m gone. Jeremy and I will watch over each other. But who will watch over you?
he thought. Before he was ready to let her go, she eased back, then kissed his forehead. He smoothed his palm over her hair and down her back. Forcing himself to step away, he smiled as he jogged around to the passenger side of the Jeep and climbed in.
Jenna waved. “I’ll write and you both better write back!”
Moira and Jenna stood at the end of the driveway until the Jeep disappeared around the corner. Moira said she needed to do laundry, then run errands. Jenna stayed at the end of driveway holding the sight of her brother and Heath, the sounds of their voices, the warmth of their bodies, as they said goodbye and left for bootcamp. She held the heart-shaped locket in her fingers, dragging it back and forth over the thin silver chain.