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CHAPTER ONE

CHAPTER ONE

Keira sniffed. Ham. She could definitely smell ham.

She opened her eyes, taking a moment to adjust to the bright daylight bouncing off the powder blue walls. Milo’s bedroom. She smiled to herself.

Another waft of cooking food caught her nostrils. Yolanta and Nils, Milo’s parents, were probably preparing Christmas dishes down in the kitchen. Her mouth flooded with saliva in response.

Keira rolled over and looked at Milo’s sleeping form. The last few days in Sweden with him had been wonderful. Magical. The snow had come, covering the mountain cottages in a thick blanket of white, and they’d spent the days hiking, ice fishing, and skating on the frozen lake. It had felt dreamlike to Keira, as if she were the heroine in a fantasy film. The beautiful scenery was made better when the evening drew in and the Northern Lights started to undulate in the sky.

Keira wished it didn’t have to end. But she knew she couldn’t stay in Sweden forever. Tomorrow she had a flight booked home to New York City. It made her sad to think about leaving this place, leaving Milo and his family. The whole experience had been refreshing for her. Rejuvenating.

The relationship, too, had felt like the most welcome relief from the stress of her last romantic endeavors. It was the first time Keira had really felt able to live in the moment, knowing that neither she nor Milo had any expectations, no unrealistic, overambitious plans for a future together (as she’d had with Shane), no marriage pressures (as she’d had with Cristiano). She realized this was the first time her thoughts of leaving weren’t gut-wrenching. They were merely sad, like the whole world and her whole heart were not dependent on the outcome of this relationship.

Just then, Milo woke up. He looked over at her and smiled. “Happy Christmas.”

Keira leaned down and kissed him softly. “Happy Christmas.”

Milo lay back against the pillow, his eyelids fluttering several times, as though he wasn’t yet fully awake.

“I smell ham,” he said sleepily.

Keira giggled. “Me too. I’m guessing your parents are in the kitchen.”

“Of course,” he said, yawning. “Swedish Christmas is a time for excess. They’ll be cooking all day.”

“We should help them,” Keira suggested.

Milo shook his head. His eyes were shut again. He clearly wasn’t ready to be fully awake yet.

Keira gazed at his face, so handsome and serene. She was going to miss this, the closeness, the easiness of it all. Never before had things felt so right between her and a man, so devoid of friction or fraught with insecurity.

Milo opened a single eye. “What are you looking at?” he asked with a smirk.

Keira sighed. “Just your gorgeous face.”

He frowned and reached out to gently touch her arm. “Why so melancholy?” He smiled softly, reassuringly. “No one is allowed to be sad on Christmas.”

Keira laughed but felt her stomach twist. “You know why,” she said in an exhalation.

Milo pushed himself up onto his elbows, the covers sliding down to reveal his honed torso. “You’re thinking about tomorrow,” he stated. “About leaving. And about the future. About what comes next.”

She nodded, her gaze falling to the bed sheets.

Milo reached for her, wrapping his arms about her and pulling her into his warm chest.

“It’s going to be okay,” he told her. “We can’t predict the future, but whatever happens, we will be okay. Every relationship, romantic or otherwise, teaches you something. About love, friendship, the human psyche,

yourself.

No moment is wasted if you allow yourself to be fully immersed in it. And you’ve done that. You spent Christmas in a foreign country away from your family for the first time in your life. The future, path, it’s nothing to worry about. You’ve got this.”

Keira felt him press a kiss into the crown of her head. His positive approach to life and relationships was reassuring, and she was glad he hadn’t said anything overblown like her exes would have. There was no pretense, no promise, just now.

She committed to immersing herself in the day, just as Milo had suggested.

“Come on,” she said, moving from his warm, strong arms. “Let’s see what your folks are cooking up. I want to learn some more crazy Swedish recipes.”

Milo chuckled. “Homemade liver pâté? Really think you’re ready?”

Keira grinned and flexed her muscles. “I was born ready!”

Down in the kitchen, they found Milo’s parents, Nils and Yolanta, and his sister, Regina, all buzzing around in an organizing frenzy. Unlike at her own home, the Nilson family seemed to love being busy. Had this been her mom’s kitchen, with Mallory and Bryn inside, there’d be at least one spilled pan on the floor, one dry, overcooked ham smoldering in the oven, and a discarded dish towel starting to burn on the stove’s open flame.

“Good morning!” Nils exclaimed, in his bouncy, lilting Swedish accent.

“Are you here to help cook?” Regina asked. Of all the family, she was the least chill, Keira thought. She seemed to enjoy reveling in stress and bossing everyone around, whereas her parents were far more lighthearted about it all.

“Oh, Regina, leave them alone,” Yolanta said. “Keira’s our guest, must I remind you. And besides, we only have her for one more day. There’s no way she’s lifting a finger.”

Keira smiled at the sweet comment, but she felt her melancholy growing. Yolanta had brought up the fact that they were nearing the end of the countdown, that her time here was soon over.

“Milo still needs to help,” Regina said.

“I’d love to, dear sister,” he joked, slinging an arm around her. “What can I do to help?”

“You could start on the liver pâté,” she said, gesturing him to a chopping board set up on one of the counters. Beside it sat a lump of terrifying-looking meat. Keira felt her stomach churn.

Milo turned and wiggled his eyebrows at her. “Told you so.”

The family settled into their cooking, and Keira’s attempts to join in were constantly thwarted. In the end, she busied herself setting the table for breakfast, making it exceptionally neat. She adjusted the gaudy reindeer print tablecloth and laid out the elaborate silver candlesticks and Santa figurines. Then she moved on to tidying the room and straightening all the pictures. They’d previously spent a joyful evening decorating the whole house in Christmas-themed art—strange images depicting winter woodland nymphs—and she’d been assured this was a traditional Swedish thing to do.

From helping decorate their tall, densely branched tree with Swedish flags, tinsel, colored baubles, and electric lights, Christmas time in Sweden, Keira had learned, was a fun, lively, and often bizarre affair. But it wasn’t all strange. There was the usual excess of good food—the classic glazed ham served alongside more Swedish delicacies such as egg and anchovy mixture, herring (pickled, patéd,

and

in salad form), rye bread, potatoes, meatballs, beetroot salad, liver pâté, and a fish dish called lutfisk. And though the daylight hours were short, the skies had been blue, the sun shining, and the snow underfoot glistening and bright. When the long, dark evenings drew in, Yolanta lit the candles and their warming glow was comforting. Fresh hyacinths were ever present, filling the home with their powerful scent.

Just then, Keira heard clattering from behind and turned to see the family entering, their arms laden with dishes and trays which they began to place on the table. The excess of food for Christmas breakfast was even more mouth-watering than the last few days had been. Keira licked her lips in anticipation.

Everyone sat and began dishing out the food. Keira filled her plate with breads and cheeses, and gratefully accepted a cup of exceptionally strong, fresh brewed coffee.

“Do you know what your next assignment is going to be, Keira?” Yolanta asked, as she passed over a bowl of sliced tomatoes.

Keira took it and began heaping slices onto her plate. “Not yet,” she said. Then she confessed, “I technically haven’t finished the one I’m working on yet.”

“You’ve not?” Nils asked.

Keira shook her head. She didn’t like to think of the work still to be done hanging over her. But things with

Viatorum,

the magazine she wrote for, had become somewhat tense, and the ending they demanded was not the one she’d delivered. She was still negotiating with them how much freedom she deserved with her own work. But she also knew that she was pushing it all out, wanting to savor the moment instead of worrying about her job. That savoring would come to an abrupt end on her return to New York City.

“I hope next time you go somewhere warm,” Nils commented. “You should negotiate the Bahamas. Or New Zealand. It’s a beautiful place.”

Keira smiled, recalling how well traveled Milo’s father was. The complete opposite of his son, in fact. Milo had confessed to rarely leaving his home country due to a fear of flying and bouts of terrible homesickness.

“We need to toast,” Yolanta said suddenly, holding up her coffee mug. “To Christmas!”

Laughing, Keira raised her own mug, clinking it in turn with each of the family members and wishing them each a Merry Christmas as she did so.

As she looked around the table at the family, Keira felt a swell of love for them all. She really had loved the time she’d spent with them and would cherish it forever. It wasn’t every day that she got the opportunity to meet such a warm, friendly, caring family and have them open their arms and heart to her over the Christmas season. She was going to miss them desperately after leaving Sweden.

“Can we open presents now?” Regina asked as soon as the plates were empty.

Nils chuckled. “She is still a seven-year-old at heart. At least we get her to sit through breakfast these days. Back then we used to have to negotiate with her to let us sleep in beyond five a.m.!”

Yolanta laughed. “Let’s go sit around the tree.”

Everyone stood, leaving the table mess for later, and went into the living room.

“I can’t wait to give Keira her gift,” Yolanta said as they went. “It’s extra special.”

Keira felt touched to know Milo’s family had gone to so much effort for her. Before she’d agreed to stay for Christmas, they’d given her gifts to take back to New York and she’d been overwhelmed with gratitude enough. But when it turned out she was staying, the gifts had multiplied beneath the tree, almost to a level that embarrassed Keira. She didn’t feel like she deserved so much kindness. Compared to Christmases at home, she felt thoroughly spoiled.

“I have something special for Keira too,” Milo said.

She blushed. Out the corner of her mouth, she muttered, “You know I haven’t had time to buy anything.”

Milo laughed. “We know. No one minds. You don’t give gifts expecting them in return. That defeats the point of gifts.”

“I know,” Keira said, “but I feel so guilty. Everyone’s been absurdly accommodating.”

“Stop worrying.” Milo chuckled. “Your presence is our present!”

Keira rolled her eyes at his cheesy line, but she did feel a little better.

They entered the living room and all took their seats. Nils positioned himself on the floor, preparing to hand the gifts out. He picked up the first, which was wrapped in gorgeous sparkly silver paper.

“This is for Keira,” he said, reading the snowflake-shaped tag. “It’s from Yolanta.”

He passed it first to Yolanta, who then passed it on to Keira, clearly in some kind of family ritual. Keira took the large rectangular box, still feeling residual guilt about having nothing to give in return.

Carefully, so as not to rip the gorgeous paper, Keira peeled back the tape and unwrapped her gift. The box contained within it was white with a Swedish brand name written across it that Keira couldn’t read. But the rest of the family all made a noise that seemed to suggest they knew exactly what was inside.

Keira lifted the lid and folded back the white tissue paper inside. To her shock and delight, inside was a full snow suit. Keira pulled it out, holding it up, and laughing along with the rest of them. So far, she’d been borrowing a spare suit of Yolanta’s that was far too big for her, not to mention bright red. This one was dark, sleekly designed, and the appropriate size.

“Amazing,” Keira said. “This looks so comfortable. I’m going to get so much use out of it.”

But she felt her chest hitch then, as it dawned on her that she potentially was not. Her days in Sweden were almost over.

“For when you next visit,” Yolanta reassured her, as if intuitively picking up on the subtle change in Keira’s mood.

“Thank you,” Keira said with deep gratitude.

From the tree, Nils had handed a gift to Milo, via Regina, and he opened up a new watch.

“Thanks, sis,” he said, admiring it on his wrist.

“The next gift,” Nils continued from his place on the floor, surrounded by pine needles, “is for… Keira. From Milo.”

He handed the flat, rectangular gift to Milo, was passed it on to Keira.

Keira raised an eyebrow. She had no clue what it might be.

She began to unwrap it, realizing as she did that it was some kind of painting. She pulled the rest of the paper off hurriedly and spun the rectangle around so it was facing the right way. Then she gasped at what she saw. The landscape painting depicted the scene of a frozen lake, with dogs sledding over it. It was beautiful, and so incredibly thoughtful.

“That’s the same lake we went ice fishing on,” Milo explained. “It’s painted by a famous Swedish painter. I thought it would help you remember Sweden.”

Keira felt herself well up, so touched by the gesture. She threw her arms around Milo. “It’s wonderful!” she exclaimed, pressing kisses onto his cheek.

Nils continued his present sharing, handing one to Yolanta for Regina, and another to Regina to hand straight back to him.

“What I really wanted to get you,” Milo said in Keira’s ear as his family busied themselves with their gifts, “was an actual dog sled ride.”

Keira laughed.

“Sadly, we didn’t have enough time,” he continued. “So I got you this instead.”

He pulled something out from behind him. Keira gasped from the shock of there being yet another gift for her, and for the fact it had not gone through the official Nilson family channels.

“A secret gift?” she said, in a joke conspiratorial voice.

Milo nodded. “Open it,” he said eagerly.

Beyond touched, Keira carefully removed the paper. She was holding a small black rectangular box, and already recognized the packaging as jewelry. She snapped it open and gasped. Inside was a necklace of white gold and pale sapphire.

“Oh, Milo, it’s gorgeous,” she said, breathless.

She reached in and pulled the necklace up to her neck, laying the delicate thing across her collarbones.

“Let me,” he offered.

She turned, swiping her hair over one shoulder, and Milo fastened the latch. His fingers felt warm against her skin, making her tingle all over.

“Even though we will be hundreds of miles apart,” he whispered in her ear, “you now have something from me, and Sweden, that can be with you always.”

Keira turned to him, beyond touched. “I’ll treasure it,” she said, gazing into his eyes. “Thank you for making this the best Christmas ever.”

“No, thank you,” Milo said with deep meaning.

Then he laughed and pulled her into his arms as the family continued their present opening around them.

The rest of the day was a busy and joyous affair, though it was with a pang of relief that Keira found herself on the porch late at night, with the entirety of Milo’s family in bed, and just Milo for company. As much as she adored his family, having a few more precious moments just the two of them felt necessary.

They sat side by side, silently sharing a bottle of warming spirits, overlooking the mountains for what would be, for Keira, the last time. How sad that their first moment alone all day would also be their last moment alone for an undetermined time.

The North Star was shining brightly above them, and thanks to the thickness of the snow, it appeared as if all the cottages dotted around the mountains were nestled into it. At the edge of the forest Keira saw the dark fir trees, looking majestic in their most natural habitat of deep, deep snow.

Milo reached for Keira’s hand then. She looked over at him, the sight of his face just as breathtakingly beautiful as the scene she’d just torn her eyes from. She felt his warm fingers squeezing hers.

“I never thought I could fall in love with someone so quickly,” he said, in his usual open way. “Honestly, I thought the whole love at first sight thing was a myth. That people were confusing love and lust.”

Keira blushed. She had certainly been guilty of that. But she’d also, in her journey of self-discovery, accepted that lust at first sight was just as valid an experience as its cousin love. Not every relationship was meant to last, but that wasn’t a reason in itself to turn your back on the opportunities life presented you with.

“You’ve proved that wrong,” Milo continued. “It is real. It has happened to me.”

She smiled at him tenderly, and nodded in agreement. Not to mean that he’d changed her mind about falling in love—she knew very well that she’d fallen in love very easily in the past—but in agreement with his assessment that love at first sight was indeed real.

The thought reminded her, suddenly, that even though she felt like Milo was the one, in this moment, experience had taught that that could easily be proven to be wrong. And that thought leapfrogged her to another one. For the first time, Keira was actually looking forward to going home, to being independent in her new apartment. As much as she had loved being in Sweden and being with Milo, she knew this moment in her life needed to come to an end.

Just then, Keira realized Milo was looking at her expectantly. She’d been silent for too long. He’d confessed his love for her and all she’d done was nod!

“What are you thinking?” he asked, his expression a little crestfallen.

“Honestly, I’m thinking about tomorrow,” she admitted. “About the fact I’m leaving.”

He exhaled. “I thought you might be.”

She squeezed his fingers, which were still entwined with hers. “I’m sorry if that disappoints you.”

“No,” Milo said rather quickly, looking intently into her eyes. “I would never try and make you feel guilty for leaving, or for wanting to. I know this must end too. It’s just that it’s been such a magical experience. You’ve taught me so much about love, about myself.”

Keira leaned in and kissed him tenderly. “I feel the exact same way.”

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